Enter the Colonel (458 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zerachi (View user info) at 2007-06-26 18:39:28 EDT
The Colonel stands surveying a small town A-company has just captured. Crisp uniform, hands clasped behind him in at-the-ready position; he doesn't believe in going lax on military discipline - even now that he is ranking officer for an entire province.
"Has your company locked down the town and secured our target, Captain?" The Colonel says, acknowledging young captain Kiel standing near.
"Yessir, we've got all the civvies locked down nice 'n tight, we can bring you the target anytime you'd time."
"Unnecessary, captain; I will question him inside his home. Send Lieutenant Gray to witness, and inform the Major he's in charge of the Battalion until I return." Ignoring Kiel's half-hearted protests, the Colonel strides purposefully towards the edge of town. A small house seemingly pieced together from several huddled shacks - as if outcast from comparatively regal homes in town - comes quickly into view. As he nears the doorway, Lt. Gray arrives: her platoon obviously rushed. To Gray's credit, all stand at attention with their pikes and sabers.
"So good of you to come, Lieutenant; I hope I didn't inconvenience you by this...abrupt summons." Sarcasm practically dripping, the Colonel smiles as Gray's military discipline fights the flush of rage back down her gullet. Gray doubtlessly is the best Lieutenant in his entire battalion - he had specifically requested her transfer when he took command of the Akteka province militia. Her platoon goes through twice the training drills of any other, and more often than not shows similar results in combat. The best isn't good enough for Gray, and it amuses the Colonel to play on her insecurities at being one of the few females - and fewer officers - in his majesties' army.
"There is never any inconvenience Sir, only Glory in service to his Majesty." Gray cut through the air with her sharp voice (second only to honed steel of her katana.)
The Colonel nods approvingly, returning her salute with equal crispness.
"Lieutenant, I shall need your men to secure the perimeter of this...house, while you must bear witness to my questioning - Not a glorious duty, but we must follow procedure for dealing with all the kingdom's citizens, you understand."
Barking orders to her platoon, the shack is quickly secured - with triple the number of men required for such a task. Neither Gray nor the Colonel abides by simply riding the line on procedure.
"Area is secured for interrogation, sir."
Gray and the Colonel enter the building, taking stock of bulky Sergeant Jan and the man he is guarding. An old farmer sits stooped over his table, he might have been a strong man once; now just a wasted shell. He acknowledges the new-comers with a slow nod, turning back to staring at the stone cup held in his craggy hands. Without saying a word, the Colonel takes two decisive steps forward and backhands the old man so hard that his cup flies to the floor. It lands with a quiet thud on rush-covered dirt, unnoticed as he seizes his prisoner by front of the coat - slamming the farmer against a wall. Gray flinches in surprise, her objection dying in the throat as she sees fervor in the Colonel's eyes.
Speaking through his teeth, the Colonel spat out words - his face inches away from the terrified farmer's.
"You senile old fool! Do you realize what you were harboring? Don't you remember the Drake wars? This was a bloody occupied area! You can't have forgotten!"
"...I be just a simple farmer, m'lord...me daughter never did nobody harm, she was jus' a poor lil' thing when ah found 'er. Please, m'lord ah swear she done nothin'! Swear by me life, ah do." Spoke the old man, pawing ineffectually at the Colonel's iron grasp.
"Your 'daughter' is naught but a beast, sir. We have the body of that boy she fancied, have you ever seen a man mauled so? Not even wild boars mutilate human flesh like a drake." spake the Colonel, scowling.
"She dinna do th' lad in! Tweren't 'er, she'd never...never...", the old man sobs out.
"Just tell us where she is, and this can all be over quickly enough, and you can get back to your farming. His Majesty demands obedience."
"I canna sir, ah dinna know where she wen'! She jus' slipped out, th' boy's death, scared me poor dear somethin' awful, ah swear!" the old man chokes, tears beginning to well in his lined eyes.
The Colonel draws his saber and slashes the farmer's throat in a single motion, dark red fire blotching hewn-wood walls. Not waiting for the dying man to finish gurgling, he motions for Gray and Jan to follow him back outside.
"There was no choice; this man has been mind-warped. Gray, no transcript of this interrogation will be necessary."
"But, sir...all interrogations involving citizens of his Majesties Kingdom are to be recorded and submitted to..." starts Gray, balking for the first time.
"Not under this instance Lieutenant, this entire area is now to be considered drake-subverted." replies the Colonel, cutting her off.
Gray nods quietly, her eyes widening as she realizes the full scope of what "drake-subverted" intones.
Returning to the hastily-erected command tent, the Colonel strides up to his second in command, Major Danes. Danes served as a Sergeant in the first drake wars - in a platoon under the Colonel's lieutenancy.
"Major, this entire town has been compromised - S & B the area."
"Slash and Burn, sir? The entire village, all of these people?" started Danes, expression of deep concern crossing his face.
The Colonel nods earnestly, giving no doubt to the Major that he had heard correctly.
"I'll be taking our light cavalry and Lieutenant Gray's Platoon on S & C detail, and you are to quarantine this area to ensure no drake sympathizers attempt escape or entry. And, Major?"
"Sir?"
"That S & B is to be absolute. This area is tainted, and I'll not have a second drake war start in my province. You have your orders, carry them out."
"As you say, sir."
As he rides off with Gray and the cavalry, the Colonel can hear the first screams - muffled only slightly by the houses they burst from; overshadowed by the crackling of an inferno only just beginning.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-20 11:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's too inconsistent, was a good story but you didn't tell the readers ANYTHING, no background info at all. It's obvious, you imagined the col as a strict old-skool military type (and gave him a sabre), but you wanted the lt to be cool so you gave her a katana. I understand that, but these inconsistencies can kill a story.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-02-20 11:03:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm
This isn't bad at all. I was a little confused though, as to what I should be picturing when it came to -- well, everything. The military structure is reminiscent (to me) of civil war troops. But one of the female officers carries a katana, which is Japanese. But the commander carries a saber, which could be from any number of countries; none of them close to Japan. I thought that was a telling inconsistency -- I think you thought it was cool to give Gray a katana (and it is) but it really makes no sense; if she's a strict military soldier she'd be wearing the standard issue equipment and would technically be out of uniform if she didn't have the right weapon.
You also don't describe the uniforms in any way, or -- well, you don't really describe much of anything. And while it's good to leave things to the reader's imagination, I literally have no idea if this story takes place in the past, in the future, on an alien planet, on an alternate Earth, etc. You used the word 'drake' so that implies a sci-fi or fantasy story of some kind.
Anyhoo, I'm not busting your balls or anything here; but you seem like an earnest writer and most earnest writers appreciate criticism of their work. So there it is.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-20 08:00:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ooooh very interesting! now for part 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-06-27 15:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-06-27 13:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-06-27 12:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-06-27 09:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent!
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-06-27 07:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. Not great either, but enjoyable.
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2007-06-27 02:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
keep it up!
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-06-27 00:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
Plus-fucking-two.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-06-26 18:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oooooooooooooooooh....GOOD.
A new story-teller!
Please tell me you'll continue this.