10 things, hahaha (584 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.21 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by briokid666.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2007-06-27 19:19:16 EDT
My friend Maggie posted some shit about her ten pet peeves about guys, so I felt the need to retaliate. I get the feeling that this might stir up shit. Thank God, I can't stand a world in which shit is not being stirred.
The ten things that really irk me concerning women go as follows....
1. Men do not take hints or innuendo well. We are a fact-based creature, and we don't want to play private eye to figure out what it is you are trying to say to us. Just say it. It's not that you're more receptive, intellegent, or mature than us, either. It's that you are more cunning.
2. If something is wrong, and we ask if something is wrong, don't sigh and turn away and say "oh, nothing, sigh..." Look here, dammit, something is bothering you, and we shouldn't be expected to figure it out or be there to help you if you play games instead of being honest.
3. Tall, skinny guys with blue eyes and a sense of style who can order wine and know the guy who owns the club are trouble. the normal guys who can change your oil are keepers.
4. Every girl I've ever met in my life has told me that they hate other girls and that their best friends are guys. Bullshit. Guys are just easier to manipulate.
5. If I ask you what you want to do or where you want to eat , do not tell me you don't care and I can decide. You know exactly where you want to go, and you want to see if I'll choose the right place. From now on, if a girl pulls this one out on me, I'm eating at Taco Cabana, renting a Scarlett Johannsen movie, and watching it in my boxers with a bottle of whiskey.
6. When we're getting ready to go out, don't ask us how we think you look. You look great, that's why we're sitting around watching you get ready.
7. If you are not happy with my wardrobe or the way my hair looks, get over it. Fashion and a sense of style is supposed to separate men from women. Also, I don't care what you wear. Jeans and a t-shirt will always look good on a girl. Shit, you look hot in MY work shirt and a set of MY boxers. Embrace that. By the way, we love how you look in the morning.
8. You're not fucking fat. I mean, some of you are fat, but if you have a guy, then don't worry about it, and if you don't, then trust me, plenty of dudes like big girls. Some of us don't even care much what you look like at all.
9. Don't put your goddamn makeup on in the rearview mirror, and then yell at the guy who just cut you off because you weren't paying attention to his turn signal for the last ten minutes.
10. Why is the toilet seat so hard for you to put up, yet so easy for us to put back down? Jesus Christ, it weighs about 2 pounds. If it's up, put it the fuck down. Don't act like we're being insensitive pricks because we didn't want to piss on the seat, and don't be bitter that we can do it standing up.
That is all, thanks for your time.
User Reviews
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-06-28 11:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No thanks.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-28 10:57:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2007-06-28 10:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-06-28 10:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-06-28 09:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i am no. 3 except without the trubble
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-06-28 07:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You get a 1+ for number 3.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-06-28 06:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
-2 because you REALLY shouldn't bother +2'ing yourself.
+1 because of number 5.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-06-28 05:00:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-28 16:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought this was alright-ish.
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-06-28 04:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's so true it hurts
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-28 02:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought this was alright-ish.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-06-28 01:50:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It sounds like a #3 fucked your shit up.
Good
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-06-27 22:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-06-27 21:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good lord people, this wasn't THAT bad. #5 made me smile.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-27 20:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You need to find a different angle, here.
Or, lose your password.
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Booted from main page in under 20 minutes.
Still think I was wrong?
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:54:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, Letterman, keep the Top Ten Lists coming. I'm sure they will never, ever get old.
Hey boys and girls; can you say one trick pony?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Judging from your last two posts it seems that your job is to actually create the chain e-mail, and then send them to everybody.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
how completely new and original!
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:35:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no, you definitely win the reference tango this time, whoever you are. Now ask me if I know what the "Marianas Fucking Trench" is. I don't.
Happy with yourself now? I sure am. I can't stand how cool you are.
==========================================
Tell me, promise me, VOW to me that you'll never post again. Then I'll be happy.
Oh, and what are you, in junior high? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marianas_trench
Idiot.
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:33:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The funny thing is that you can't keep me from coming back. Just like MTV....
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no, you definitely win the reference tango this time, whoever you are. Now ask me if I know what the "Marianas Fucking Trench" is. I don't.
Happy with yourself now? I sure am. I can't stand how cool you are.
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i concur... that is sucked
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
crap.
do better next time or don't come back.
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I did read it. That's how I was about to realize I recognized 90% of the content from other sources.
So, I put two and two together and realized this sucked fucking ass. Do you require more explanation than that?
Cuz I can get deeper than the Marianas Fucking Trench if you desire.
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:25:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AND I can't spell for shit.
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, I copied and pasted this from my own documents that I wrote before I was on this site. Yes, life existed before this site.
No, not everybody writes specifically to post on ubersite.
I'm glad you "read" it, though.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't have the energy to retaliate, it's 100 degrees.
But I am more 'intellegent' than you.
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-06-27 19:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
CTRL+C
CTRL+V
-2
Simple formula, no?