Dear God I made it. (661 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.53 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RockDocv2.0 (View user info) at 2007-06-28 13:39:04 EDT
Holy Shit. I'm alive. Much to your dismay, but I'm alive all the same. Happy too, okay, about as happy as a man can get when in Iraq.
So..not that happy.
It's been five months. Been shot at a few times, haven't been blown up yet, and all in all, not too shabby of a tour. Course, there were those six or so mass casualties I had to work in. First one was a bit of shocker, but now it's all "dude, umm...your bleeding, profusely, from where your arm was *pause* THAT IS AWESOME!"
It's the sick humor that gets me through the day, that and a bottle of pills with crazy latin names; but hey, who damns a mans source of comfort?
So, I wonder, where has electrictoothsyndrome gone too? What about that one emo chick that turned out to be a dude (like so many of my relationships in oki...)? How's bart these days? Has anyone else died?
It's not like I really care or anything, but I'd like to think that a "I'm back" post should contain vauge references to the people one knew before leaving, and to ask about their well-being. It's only appropriate. Are the graMeR NazsIs still mucking up the dreams of up and coming uberites? Ahh, I certainly don't miss those days. Okay, I kind of do, maybe. Not really. God, I surely hope not.
Where's the french dude whose myspace got blown open on here? It was rather amusing. Hell all internet fights are amusing, but this one was a cage match between Steven Hawking and Leonard Nimoy with a special appearance by The Rain Man.
I giggled so much I peed a little.
Ahh well. I believe I must get going. I actually have nothing to really say, but if I did, do you really think I'd put it on here so you jackals could get to it?
You're damn straight I would.
I missed you, you gloriously shameless fucks.
User Reviews
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2007-12-16 14:14:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-28 15:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea who the fuck you are but I'm sending you best wishes for just doing this thankless job.
Stay safe.
******
The above is the REAL Shlongy. Not the self-centered asshole you all see in the daily reviews.
Living proof (for Robbie Berg) that an internet persona need not reflect one's true personality.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2007-06-29 06:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
5 months?
You Air force? Navy? civilian?
Good on you, though;.
----------------------
im actually still "there"
title was supposed to read "dear god, i made it back onto ubersite" cause bart was given me shit, thought i was a spammer.
i was able to steal internet off of people out here, so i can get on every now and then. still got about 8 months to go before i come back to the u.s.
yeah, we're the first marine corp unit to do the one year thing.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-06-29 04:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 because you've been There.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-28 21:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-28 18:01:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on not dying. And thanks for, ya know, killing people that would just as soon kill me.
Submitted by DancingOtter (user info) at 2007-06-28 17:01:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Where's the french dude whose myspace got blown open on here? It was rather amusing. Hell all internet fights are amusing, but this one was a cage match between Steven Hawking and Leonard Nimoy with a special appearance by The Rain Man."
======================
I want to read this. Please.
And welcome back dude.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-06-28 16:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jebus
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2007-06-28 16:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome back
http://www.ubersite.com/m/109555
Here, you probably missed this
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-06-28 16:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
5 months?
You Air force? Navy? civilian?
Good on you, though;.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-06-28 15:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome back.
Enjoy the beer, and the strippers.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-28 15:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea who the fuck you are but I'm sending you best wishes for just doing this thankless job.
Stay safe.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-06-28 15:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'll have to excuse Monty and his jewness with his +2s. Here's one for him.
QUIT BEIN' CHEAP, MONTY.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2007-06-28 15:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on being alive and all that. I have no idea what you and GC are talking about in the reviews with all that BBC and BTK and NWA shit but carry on.
I HATE GARDENERS! May they all burn in hell. I don't care how long the grass gets, I want them all dead.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-06-28 15:00:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Know all about those chlorine bombs.
Also, yeah.. BTB? Those guys are bitches. The whole BCT are fucking deluded and they're gonna lose the goddamn city if they keep up with the shit they do. Same shit 82nd pulled when they were in charge of the whole province, and the reason the Marines took over command.
I probably saw you in the chowhall there or helping fill sandbags for the surge.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2007-06-28 14:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was gonna say that Skrapmetal is ma baby's daddy, but then I remembered he adopted me, so he'd be the grand-daddy and daddy. Is that still illegal if you legally adopt someone and then impregnate them? I mean, Woody Allen got away with it, or was that asian girl only legally adopted by Mia Farrows and not by both of them? It's not like you're sharing DNA if you impregnate an adopted child, but I still don't think it makes it any less creepy.
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the question is how old is the child? i had a crazy fantasy one time. my parents adopted this hot 17 year old chick.
and i banged her.
yeah...my sister.
it was also kind of creepy.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-06-28 14:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Glad to hear you're still breathing. That's always a plus.
I was gonna say that Skrapmetal is ma baby's daddy, but then I remembered he adopted me, so he'd be the grand-daddy and daddy. Is that still illegal if you legally adopt someone and then impregnate them? I mean, Woody Allen got away with it, or was that asian girl only legally adopted by Mia Farrows and not by both of them? It's not like you're sharing DNA if you impregnate an adopted child, but I still don't think it makes it any less creepy.
Submitted by DorkLordofTeHSith (user info) at 2007-06-28 14:42:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats probably where ill be headed too after i get out of good ol Oki...
Submitted by DorkLordofTeHSith (user info) at 2007-06-28 14:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
so THATS where your worthless self has been hiding at for the past few months since you left...
BAH, loser
still
didnt read
meh
keep in touch
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2007-06-28 14:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-06-28 13:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hurricane point?
Or Camp AR? The army are a bunch of assholes. There's all these reports of underfunding for armor and shit, yet they have a gym there that makes 24hr Fitness weep in envy. Then there's the Marines gym over by "machine gun joe's" that looks like they taped engine block fragments to rebar for a bench press.
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camp ar.
thats where they sent the chlorine bomb vics in march, then the subsequent 5 or so mass cas's were there as well.
no, the armys armor is fine, my marines though...not so much. electric turrets, nope. frag 5, on one vic. army gets all the best equipment. all of em have got m4s with nice sights and everything. when the marine corps takes over this base, man the hooahs will pay.
the 24hr mwr gym or whatever, hate that place. its a fuckin meat market. i go to a gym to work out, not sit around and stare at chicks. theres a small one near my hootch, the memorial gym that i go to. army tried to keep me out, saying i wasnt with btb. told em to fuck off. theyve left me alone.
camp ar aint so bad. hootchs are pretty okay. i live in a wooden rectangle about twenty feet from the city. some marine units are living in conex boxes. army snatched up the good buildings, and the internet cafes. told us we had to set a watch, or be part of the unit to use the free internet.
yeah dude, assholes.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-28 14:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a new user who calls himself 'OathMeal'.
Watch out for him. Seriously.
One false move and you WILL become a crumpled semblance of your former self.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-06-28 13:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hurricane point?
Or Camp AR? The army are a bunch of assholes. There's all these reports of underfunding for armor and shit, yet they have a gym there that makes 24hr Fitness weep in envy. Then there's the Marines gym over by "machine gun joe's" that looks like they taped engine block fragments to rebar for a bench press.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-06-28 13:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
joos did 911
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2007-06-28 13:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-06-28 13:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just came home from Anbar about 5 weeks ago. I'm so fucking glad to be out of that shithole. Especially Ramadi.
Hope you didn't have to deal with some of THOSE mass casualties in the last 5 months.
I was in line giving blood for some of those poor fuckers. Gave blood 5 times in 2 months.
---------------------------------
yeah. those are the ones im talking about. plus all the traumas that come in between the big booms. its mostly kids.
thats the fucked up part.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-06-28 13:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nothing changes on teh intartoobz. We're all right where you left us.
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2007-06-28 13:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
apollo died.
his head finally exploded.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-06-28 13:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just came home from Anbar about 5 weeks ago. I'm so fucking glad to be out of that shithole. Especially Ramadi.
Hope you didn't have to deal with some of THOSE mass casualties in the last 5 months.
I was in line giving blood for some of those poor fuckers. Gave blood 5 times in 2 months.