Fuck Centerfolds. (1224 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.57 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (View user info) at 2007-07-02 06:05:33 EDT
I'm sure everybody has had the displeasure of experiencing the disgruntled 50 year old bouncer on a power trip, but the concept was just taken to a new level for me. Here's the story of a jackass bouncer named Anthony:
Saturday was my best friend's bachelor party. I was in charge of planning. We decided to keep it semi-traditional, and go the dinner-beers-stripclub route. Pretty safe, plenty fun. Two weeks before, I booked the room at the restaurant for 25 people, and spoken with the managers of the bars we planned on attending to let them know that we were coming. Bar managers appreciate it when they know ahead of time that 25 people will be showing up in the afternoon, so that they can staff and stock appropriateliy.
I went to Centerfolds in Boston, MA on a tuesday about two weeks prior to the game day, and spoke with a manager, Justin. I told him we'd have about 15 people, at about 10pm on the 30th. He gave me a tour of the place, bought me a soda, and gave me a stack of free admission cards, each saving the bearer the club's usual $20 cover. He also assured me that I would be on the list, and the doorman and the manager would all know to expect me. I thanked him, we exchanged business cards, and said "see you in two weeks."
Justin was a nice enough guy, and was good at his job.
After some tasty dinner, beers, and laughs, we sent off the dad and the grandfather, and the uncles, and headed back to the hotel for some pregaming. Rip some beers. Hit the bar. Then it's time to head to Centerfolds. We arrive, and I begin to distribute the Free Admission cards, only to find out that I'm 2 short.
I ask everyone to wait outside and I got talk to the Doorman, a surly, mustached older guy, who was the only one of the bouncers not wearing a suit - instead he looked like he just stepped off a harley: "Hi, I'm Tim Downing, I spoke with Justin last week about this bachelor party. He had given me complimentary admission cards, and I just came up two short." The doorman is listening attentively. "Is there anyway you can hook us up with a few more?"
"Tough shit, you gotta pay. $20 each." Is the bouncer's prick reply.
One of my buddies in the back says, "screw centerfolds, it's $20 each, let's go next door instead," referring to the cheaper strip club next door, The Glass Slipper.
The bouncer immediately flipped out at my buddy's comment, and screams, "THAT'S IT, YOU'RE NOT GETTING IN ANYWAY."
I go up to the bouncer. I don't understand why he turned the asshole up to 11, AND denied all of us entry. I'm the talker of the group, and hope that some polite discussion will get us somewhere.
"Excuse me, why are we not allowed in?"
"Your buddy said 'screw centerfolds.'"
"Are you serious? 20 minutes earlier he said 'screw walking, let's take a cab,' and walking didn't bar us entry."
"Fuck you guys, you're not welcome here. Go next door if you like 'em fat and dark."
Now, I certainly understand a bouncer's job is to deny drunk people entry. Their job is to protect the interests of the establishment, both legally, and physically. But it's also their job to not drive away customers. It's their job to be friendly. To be nice. (unless it's time to not be nice)
But this guy was a prick. A world class asshole. And I called him on it. Politely.
"Who's the manager?"
The prick replies, "me." He's clearly not the manager. Managers at fancy stripclubs in big cities wear suits, not teeshirts and mustaches.
"Who's your manager?"
"Nobody."
"Then you own the place?" I ask, figuring this might be possible.
"No."
"Then please get the owner."
"Why?"
"Because I want to let him know that he hires assholes to work the front door, and it's costing him our business, and the business of everybody I know." At this point, the 15 of my friends had already gone next door. The bouncer stands up and walks towards me in a threatening manner. He's about 5'10" and probably 220. With a potbelly. Tough looking in a biker way. I'm 6'2" and 270, with a size 50 chest and a 38 waist.
I may be big and stupid looking, but I know I'm smarter than this guy:
"Are you trying to physically intimidate me into not reporting your abusive door practices and asshole personality to your manager? He'll love that. Get him. Please."
Sure enough, the manager (a big guy in a suit) comes down, and we talk about Anthony the prick bouncer's conduct. The manager predictibly backs him up, says he has the right to deny entry; i agree, and kindly mention that he doesn't have to be a prick about it. It's bad for business.
The manager was nice enough in telling me that we're not good enough for their establishment.
But the fact is this: the fact that a doorman of that nature has that job, is MORE than enough for me to a) never go there again and b) write postings on the internet about it, and c) try to convince other people to not go there.
Don't go to Centerfolds. Give your business to business that earn it. And when a business insults you, go out of your way take away business from them.
Centerfolds is owned by William Deyesso, through a management company 320 Advisors. Deyesso is a Russian national, with at least one previous felony, a 1996 conviction for illegally smuggling business funds from Russia.
Capitalism rules.
User Reviews
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-14 23:17:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
prick
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-14 22:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i had a place deny entry to me and a couple friends because it was after 12, and we didnt have stamps on our wrists. i knew some people who were already in there, so i called em in front of the bouncer and made sure he knew i was talking to people inside, as i told them to 'get everybody and come out, we'll go somewhere else.'
then i counted to 20 while his brain put 1 and 1 together. then he let me in and i was very gracious about his kindness in overseeing the stamp 'thing'.
the irritating thing is, when we got up there, the place was almost fuckin empty. what kind of moron turns sober, well-dressed people away when the place is fuckin empty? before you start, there were already way uglier people in there to begin with, so that cant be it.
most bouncers are just dicks.
oh, and if youre being turned away from strip clubs, then theres something wrong with you. i suggest biting the bullet and having tentacle removed from your face.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2007-10-14 20:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-02 17:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read it. I trust you.
___________________________________
And that's just plain hilarious.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2007-10-14 18:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you. I wish I had the balls to stand up for myself like that. Customer service is a thing of the past.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2007-07-04 08:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aside from porn, the internet's other true purpose is for guys to communicate the quality of:
bars,
dives,
strip joints,
prostitutes,
cheap hourly motels,
car back-seat comfort,
and cache this information in a meaningful manner. Preferable a searchable database.
+2 for helping us all.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-07-04 07:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i've never been to 10s. sounds good though. My all-time favorite is Mardi Gras in Springfield. If you're ever in amherst or springfield, take the time to go. unbelievably good.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-07-03 23:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
we go to 10's in salisbury mass, i can usually skip cover and the girls are friendly and cute, nothing like a naked chick sitting at your table chatting casually with you while 7 other full frontal nudes are dancing around you, all while another is giving you a back rub and the "hooter shooters" are going around
i reccomend it
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-03 11:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Never going there. Thanks..I hate asshole doormen who always picked on the computer science kids and then graduation came and they went nowhere but the computer science kid gets the hot girlfriend and sick ass job....I'm just sayin.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-07-02 20:01:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got punched in the face by a bouncer once.
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-07-02 17:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet you could get into the gay bars - no problem!. You whiney bitch!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-02 17:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read it. I trust you.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:51:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 for bachelor party shenannys
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2007-07-02 13:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-02 12:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2007-07-02 11:58:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2
There are ALWAYS pussies that complain "We can't get in, waaaaaa! WAAAAAA!"
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2007-07-02 11:49:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sure there are plenty of other customers out there. Strip clubs don't make money of drunken people on bachelor parties anyway. Coke has a much bigger profit margin.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2007-07-02 10:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Take the hour-drive out to Webster, MA and go to Mario's Showplace. You'll never, ever go anywhere near a place like Centerfolds again.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-07-02 10:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went on a booze cruise with the Ryan Montbleau Band Saturday night. Did a big circle in Boston harbor.
It was kickass.. being on a boat partying real hard with live music is awesome.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-02 10:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got stopped on the way out of Wal-mart a few days ago. The seventy year old woman working the door checked to see that every item in my bag was on the receipt. I had a bag full of fruit and unfortunatley some of it registers as a number instead of "banana" and she tried to claim I had in fact stolen 6 bananas.
We stood there for ten minutes talking to her while a group of frat monkeys and sorositutes walked out, probably with covergirl make up and carparts in their pockets.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-07-02 09:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
second rate strip clubs are almost always better for bachleor parties anyway.
I really don't think this post is going to hurt their business too much. Uber is for people who jerk it to 10 sec internet porn clips, not people who go to high class strip clubs.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-07-02 08:52:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-07-02 08:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-07-02 07:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Road House reference.
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God Dammit!! The minute I read that line I decided the above would be my reply. Then I get to the reviews and see it's already here. Fuck!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-07-02 08:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The girls at the Glass Slipper get away with a lot more anyway.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-07-02 07:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Road House reference.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-07-02 06:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Check.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-02 06:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I like to stand outside clubs until the bouncers come up to me, at which point I say "Sorry mate, you can't come out here, you're not wearing trainers""
Ricky Grover I believe, cant exactly remember
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-07-02 06:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They barred me, too.
And I only felt up like 3 of the dancers.
It's not like I fucked any of them.
Sure, I may have TRIED, but that's not the point.
Jebus....
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-07-02 06:13:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One day you'll regret this post when the russian mafia arrive