To: Shinji (615 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.78 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by OathMeal, Z. Cavaricci Style (View user info) at 2007-07-02 11:48:10 EDT
Shinji,
It seems as though you're still confused as to why I visit, post on and patronize Ubersite. I thought I might take a moment to explain things to you so that your unending fascination with me is furthered by yet another attention-whoring effort of mine.
1. You completely misunderstand why I'm here. You seem to be convinced that you can understand, but there is something wonderfully terrible about the way you interpret my actions and comments. Thinking I am active on Ubersite because I want to be taken seriously is:
a) ignorant
b) ridiculously antagonistic, or
c) both
In an actual, face-to-face verbal exchange, it is likely that I would win out in any match of wits, vocabulary, casting of aspersions or any other similar bout of cerebral aptitude, considering that my opponent were anyone considered an 'Ubersite user'. Fighting on the internet is an excellent timewaster and it allows me the lattitude to be someone I don't otherwise have the luxury of being. There really is nothing you can do and there's no lofty analysis of my psyche that would prompt change in how I operate here. Unless you're playing StarCraft, my word choice, direction of hate, intensity of hate and all-around decision making will be completely unaffected by your pomous interpretations of my posts, reviews and bantering.
Which leads me to...
2. You seem to be under the impression that you carry credibility on this site. This is not the case. It does not appear as though you have the proper background to have developed any authority here, as you have only posted twice and your second post was 100% about me. Credibility on Ubersite requires education, knowledge, mastery of memes, and timing. You have none of these. Hope is not lost for you, but repeatedly challenging my intelligence or capability is neither scathing nor impressive. I would suggest you become intimately familiar with re: 16 year olds, TABARNAK, Lojope raping and, for a more contemporary feel, Ghola's ugliness and Apollo's bad attitude.
Your tired commentary displays your greater inability to rouse me, which in turn is a sign of true ineffectuality. Yes, I did just make that word up. I can do that.
3. Your posting must improve. As it stands now, you have a 100%, laser-like focus on calling me out as just the kind of person you're trying not to be. And oh, you're trying very, very hard. Unfortunately, it's not working. It's just not.
4. "Crumpling". Let me educate you really quickly about crumpling. The term is derived from a comment I made, aimed at Scourge, that was for the most part a facetious 'threat'. I casually informed Scourge that if ever we were to meet, I would crumple him in a fight. Let this be example A of an OathMeal comment becoming a universally accepted and possibly overused meme here on Ubersite. There are surely others to come.
That, and posting a picture of my favorite message to active users, writ clearly across a cotton athletic sock enveloping my penis.
5. You are needlessly inconsequential. I would have assumed, at least at first glance, that you would have something humorous or compelling to offer either myself or our fellow uberites but, woefully, I am disappointed. As far as I am concerned, in the entire history of Ubersite there has been no one as bold, intelligent, funny and desirable as myself.
Do take this to heart and if there are further questions or criticisms please forward them to the crack of your own ass.
Thank you.
User Reviews
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:44:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As said: Funny!
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-03 08:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut the fuck up 'moomba' no one asked for your tired and uninteresting input.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-03 00:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by andkon (user info) at 2007-07-02 12:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
1 post a day, n00b
Submitted by sweetkisses (user info) at 2007-07-02 12:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i for one laughed my ass off. Good show.
----
these are oathmeal alters too i think.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-02 19:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh I assure you all that Shinjii is most certainly not my alter. He IS crafty though so I do see the resemblance.
-------
C'mon. At this point, you are your own alter.
"I've changed my hairstyle, so many times now, I don't know what I look like." - David Byrne/Talking Heads/Life During Wartime.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-07-02 19:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-02 18:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Boy, I never tire of seeing Oatmeal talk about himself.
Endlessly.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-07-02 18:05:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*ahem*
Ha.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-02 17:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-02 17:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh I assure you all that Shinjii is most certainly not my alter. He IS crafty though so I do see the resemblance.
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Crafty? Like a (herpes encrusted) box.
Shut up, you fucking faggot.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh I assure you all that Shinjii is most certainly not my alter. He IS crafty though so I do see the resemblance.
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OathMeal = Shinji ...?
---------
Pretty much. Shinji is a "straw man".
---------------------
Probably. Did you see how many of Apollo's posts he -2'ed?
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
why no -2 dicarus you fucking fool?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OathMeal = Shinji ...?
---------
Pretty much. Shinji is a "straw man".
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-02 16:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OathMeal = Shinji ...?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-02 15:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
new from Nickelodeon Press: 'Oathmeal Pwns His First N00b'...on sale at Barnes & Noble TODAY!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-07-02 15:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
better than the other guy. round 1 goes to oathmeal.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-02 13:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for mentioning me.
again.
you obsessed freak.
Submitted by ChairFace (user info) at 2007-07-02 13:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 credibility on ubersite.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-02 13:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking good counter-burn
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-07-02 13:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
link to shinjii?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-02 12:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://ubersite.com/m/95611
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-02 12:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
how bout you save posting for when moments like this strike?
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-07-02 12:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-02 12:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by andkon (user info) at 2007-07-02 12:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
1 post a day, n00b
Submitted by sweetkisses (user info) at 2007-07-02 12:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i for one laughed my ass off. Good show.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-07-02 11:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Touché
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-07-02 11:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Uncool, banning offense.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-07-02 11:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well it was pretty well written...
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-02 11:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha sometimes, just sometimes, Oathy can be frigging hilarious