First Post: Round and Round (584 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.29 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dervish (View user info) at 2007-07-03 09:39:01 EDT
Between two moments, I am born.
I do not exist and then, at once, I am. I become aware of my self. I can look at myself and know my own body, that which separates me from the space around me. I can move around this place of my own will. There is nothing else here, only my self, and my motion.
Then.
I come to know two Others, a larger, softer white One and a much larger, hard One whose body dazzles me and whose voice makes me tremble. These Others are kind to me; the white One feeds me and my hunger fades. The dazzling One speaks words to me that I do not understand, but they warm me. I am comfortable.
Time passes. The kind white One does not come around as often; that is all right, I do not get hungry, but it is strange to find myself thinking about her when she is not here, and wishing to see her again. I understand the dazzling One's words now. He calls himself "We", and he is great and powerful. He shows me places incredible to see; we move through the empty space to places that are not empty, but FULL. Wonderfully full with countless things that move and make noise and breathe and live and ARE. He tells me that there is so much space because of a mistake he made.
He says the living things are sad that the space is so empty; they want him to fill the space up a little with shining points of light. He says he cannot do this on his own; he needs my help. He sends me down to a very small full place and puts something in front of me.
It is a round thing, a thing larger than myself. He gives it a name and says that by rolling it about and over things, I can help him fill the empty space. He tells me how to roll. I try it.
It takes me a moment, but the round thing is easy to move. Left hand first, push, step, then right hand, push, another step. There is a rhythm to it that is enjoyable. I roll it over a small object and it sticks to it. I roll it over more and it grows larger, heavier, but still manageable. Soon I am rolling in smooth curves, coming to a quick stop and flipping myself over it to reverse direction, and spinning it in place to build up speed before dashing forward.
Suddenly, We appears and tells me that I am ready to help him. There is a brilliant flash of colour and I am standing in another full place. This one is much, much larger, and I am much smaller than the things around me. We tells me to make the round thing as big as I can, and that the larger it gets the more things I will be able to pick up. I want to try hard; I want to help him, so I begin.
The round thing picks up objects and grows quickly. Soon, I am large enough to leave the full place I am in for a wider, more open place with larger things. These things are not just shapes; some of them move and make sounds. As I roll around, I am amazed at the variety of things here; my round thing becomes strangely beautiful as it begins to pick up larger moving objects, ones that walk on two legs like me, but are much larger and dress strangely. They make noises that make me smile when I roll over them.
Soon, I am so big that I am rolling over their structures, and I can see that they group them together into larger spaces. I am very high up now, and can see how truly large this place is. There is land almost as far as I can see, and where there is not land there is water, gorgeous and blue, sparkling in the light. This is a magnificent place, the most beautiful I have seen. I pause for a moment. We appears and tells me that I've rolled for long enough for now.
There is another prismatic flash and I am standing before him with my round thing in his hands. He tells me I have done well, and that he will make it into a brilliant "star". He tosses it up into the great empty space and it becomes a point of shining light. He tells me that it is only one of the stars that he wants to replace, and that I will be going back again and again until the "sky" is full.
I look at the great empty space.
I look back down at the great full space, so small to me now, and remember how many things are in it.
I have much work to do.
A smile crests my face.
User Reviews
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-23 16:46:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I AM an alter. I think you read it wrong.
And I'm close enough, yeah.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-23 16:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You've been here a month and have an alter?
What are you, a fucking retard?
(I already know the answer)
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-04 11:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-04 08:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-07-04 12:38:05 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice story - Pretty sure the Japs have made a video game a lot like this.
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It's called 'Katamari Damaci'. It's great. I'm pretty sure that's where the picture is from too.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-07-04 07:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice story - Pretty sure the Japs have made a video game a lot like this.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-07-03 22:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-03 14:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2007-07-03 14:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for lying on your title.
The story wasn't bad.
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Thanks; it's what I deserve, really. If I'd been more careful, I could've avoided it.
Ah, well. I have a good idea how I'm gonna use this one, anyway.
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2007-07-03 14:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for lying on your title.
The story wasn't bad.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2007-07-03 14:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-07-03 14:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought there already was a 'dervish'..
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-07-03 13:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that I got that out of the way, have a zero. Good story.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-07-03 13:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Must........-2DIE.........Firstpost........GAH
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-07-03 12:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First post auto +2
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-03 12:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oathmeal below.
hi, B!
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-03 11:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Experima below.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-03 11:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hi, Dervish/ALMT!
loved this story. it's exactly what I needed to read this morning.
great work as usual, mah brotha.
ps: happy day two ;)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well wasn't that fun
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:41:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
did someone just out their own alter on its first post below?
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Well, that was short and sweet.
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHA you fucked up, ALMT.
I rescind my +2.
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From the King of Alters, I should expect no less. Your mastery of them is beyond bounds.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHA you fucked up, ALMT.
I rescind my +2.
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
by the Rules of Uber Lore, you have to hand over the account to me now.
I'm sorry but that's the way it goes.
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gah...caught.
I was sitting on this idea for a while.
Yes, I'm ALMT. And yes, I wanted to get this up. No, I didn't want to wait. Yes, I am an alter. Yes, I'm lame as hell.
No more +2/-2 on alternating posts, I promise.
And this one won't be a jerk, either. There're enough of them out there.
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, I'm not buying it.
I'd be more inclined to think that Mr. Time, enamored by his recent ubercelebstatus, wanted to be sure he left his "possibly soon to be B@W post" on the front page yet couldn't stop his desire to post again.
I mean he did reply in the first person as if he were simultaneously the author and himself.
I'm just sayin, don't sweat it...many people fuck it up their first time out.
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
pretty good
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
did someone just out their own alter on its first post below?
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No...
...I believe Mr. Time was speaking in a hypothetical sense and in a satirical fashion.
In the most asinine way possible.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
looks that way
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fair enough.
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
did someone just out their own alter on its first post below?
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you saying that is what YOU would do?
Speak proper English, at least, before you -2 me.
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I'll rate the way I see fit, n00b. Get used to it.
And as for whether or not I speak my native tongue well, maybe you should take a look at my 30+ posts and determine how much of a grasp I have of it before you lower yourself to such a pathetic slam.
Have another, die, etc.
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ubmitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
yada-yada great post, good writing, nice pic yada-yada.....
Announcing it is your first post?
wtf man!
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I thought it only fair. That way nobody needs to go through the trouble of checking my User Info to find out whether or not they've heard of me and, consequently, whether or not they should -2 me out of hand.
I'm always looking out for others.
-------------------------------
Are you saying that is what YOU would do?
Speak proper English, at least, before you -2 me.
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
yada-yada great post, good writing, nice pic yada-yada.....
Announcing it is your first post?
wtf man!
--------------------
I thought it only fair. That way nobody needs to go through the trouble of checking my User Info to find out whether or not they've heard of me and, consequently, whether or not they should -2 me out of hand.
I'm always looking out for others.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ugly founder of the Cult of Filth below.
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hard to be insulted by a guy that takes pictures of his penis with a sock on it.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i liked it.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
yada-yada great post, good writing, nice pic yada-yada.....
Announcing it is your first post?
wtf man!
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-03 10:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ugly founder of the Cult of Filth below.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-03 09:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-07-03 09:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to get to know your body
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-07-03 09:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The green, green GRASS of home.
Roll on.
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-07-03 09:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Katamari = auto +1000000.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-07-03 09:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The first virgin i ever took !
+1 for coherent (sort of) writing.
+1 for the pic.
Welcome to uber.