GPF - I haven't got a clever title, so just have a good Friday and a great weekend, y'all. (1007 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (View user info) at 2007-07-06 09:25:04 EDT
These two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat. He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs. He says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?" "Hell no!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, and he's all stiff, cold, and smelly!" The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat all but the skeleton of the cat.
A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat." Just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush.
The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talking! It's been months since I had a WARM meal!"
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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mommy, Mommy, when will I be able to see?" Her mom replies, "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the doctor and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning."
So off they went to the doctor, got the cream, and went home, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girl's eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed.
The following morning the little girl stumbled into her moms bedroom and excitedly shouted, "Quick mommy, take off the bandage so that I will be able to see again." The mother slowly took off all the bandages, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once the bandages were off, the little girl said, "But mummy, I still can't see."
The mother then shouted, "April fools!"
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Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing!"
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady said, "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first."
The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. The second lady said, "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first."
The third lady, who was African, not wanting to be out done, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. The African lady said, "Well, they always search for the black box first?"
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-17 04:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110098
BOOO!
Submitted by Adam_Warlock (user info) at 2007-07-08 20:10:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-08 17:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-08 17:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-07-06 16:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
BUT HAPPY WEEKEND ANYWAY
WEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-07-06 16:12:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This rings in a good weekend about as well as getting your balls stepped on by a bull dyke.
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-07-06 13:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shmack92 (user info) at 2007-07-06 12:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you are a terrible person and should feel bad
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noone should feel bad on a friday
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-06 13:25:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pure silliness +2
Submitted by shmack92 (user info) at 2007-07-06 12:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you are a terrible person and should feel bad
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-07-06 11:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-07-06 10:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
because its friday
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-07-06 10:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn you I was eating
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-06 10:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-06 10:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The gif was sub-par, however those jokes were funny.
Cheers
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-07-06 10:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No time to read, but +2 for the kind words in your clever title.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-07-06 10:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-07-06 09:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2007-07-06 10:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good luck with that test.
To be honest the only thing I found funny in these was the fact that you put a question mark at the end of that last sentence. It reminded me of Ron Burgundy. I'm sure that was on accident though.
+1 because they were all new jokes to me.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-07-06 09:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good luck with ya filename, the post sucked 20th century balls.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-07-06 09:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is mean to blind people.
But seing as they can't read it I will laugh.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-06 09:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
come to cheeseland. good luck, love you long time.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-07-06 09:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
When I tell that first joke, it's set in the desert and it's FAR more graphic...
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-06 09:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because it's Friday, I've been to lunch all paid for by the company and now I'm working from home.
Good luck honey.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-07-06 09:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
meh