My Nuberpost: Now with more Rape! (1019 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.19 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Michael (View user info) at 2007-07-06 18:41:13 EDT
I had written another first posting regarding my penis and it's danger to the world, but I'll save that for another day as it seems in poor taste in comparison to this jewel, and it seems as though you all love rape so much.
When I was about 18 years old, I drank alot, and did alot of drugs. As you can tell, I made some poor decisions. Not drinking or smoking pot of course, but there were others that can wait for another day.
This particular bad decision led to my name being equated with all manner of evil in my hometown, which is one of the multiple reasons why I left that burg long ago.
I had been drinking and getting high all night, and there was a place where all the kids in my podunk little town hung out, called "The Hole". It wasn't a hole though, it was a Winn-Dixie parking lot after hours. I pulled in to see who was hanging about, and might get me high, or drunker, I had no inclination to get laid, I could masturbate much easier and without all the hassle of having to pretend that I was interested in anything that a girl my age might say.
Fate had other plans though.
I noticed as I pulled in, that two of my friends, Big Mike, and Scott, were sitting in their hoopty, with a girl I didn't know. She was pretty cute, but not stunning. I started to ask them what they were going to do, and they asked me if I wanted to go for a ride with them, as they had som herb and a bottle of cuervo, half empty, which was all the motivation I needed.
We piled into the car, Big Mike driving, Scott riding shotgun, and me and unknown girl in the back. As we started down the road, Scott jumps in the back seat opposite random girl when he ask's the most random question I'd ever heard: "Have you ever ran a train on a girl?"
With that, the girl starts taking off her clothes, gets fully naked, and puts one foot out of each window, and Scott starts giving her some foreplay, this girl turns to me, and says "I want you to join in too!" She's a little drunk, but so am I, so I start making out with her, while Scott is giving her some oral love, and Big Mike is watching from the rear view mirror and heading for a dirt road in the country. We pull into a little dumping site in the middle of nowhere, and Big Mike gets out to drink some Cuervo on the trunk of the car. Scott gets out too, and goes to hang out with Big Mike, and tells me to have fun.
I'm not by any means a bastard, so I ask her if she's really OK with all this, as I've never met a real live slut before, and she says yeah, she loves the cock, so we go ahead and have our fun. Right as she's getting hers off, she starts to throw up....violently. So I hold her hair back, while pulling up my pants, while the 2 jerkoffs that got me into this situation are laughing at the back of the car. Obviously the fun is over for this little girl. We all get back in the car, and she lays her head in my lap all the way back into town, saying that "You saved my life" or some such nonsense, all because I held her hair back while she puked. We get back to town, and I give her a hug, and get in my car and go home to get some sleep.
The next night, I'm bored again, and sober too, which is a bad thing, so I decide to go down town, and see what I can get into tonight. I pull up to the lot, and get out of my car to hang with my friends, and everyone gives me the stare o doom. I didn't suspect anything out of the ordinary, so I ask Big Mike and Scott whats up, and they tell me that the little skank from last night felt bad about sleeping with me, so when they left me previously and went back to the party where her BOYFRIEND was, she told him she'd been raped by yours truly.
So now I have this little cuckold of a boy threatening to beat my ass and whatnot, not to mention that the word has gotten to my little sister who's also in the lot. This is bad news all over. I try to go talk to little skankster, and she's trying to avoid me, not wanting to get into a confrontation about her obvious lie. My sister is pushing me back, saying "Now is not the time."
I'm rightfully pissed. I had thought I'd had my first little one night stand, and it's been turned into a rape charge. I start talking to the two witnesses, trying to confirm that I had not "raped" this girl, that she was totally willing, and just an embarrassed slut. Which she was. I couldn't show my face anywhere for 2 weeks, all the while thinking that the cops would be at my house any moment to put me in a cell with Bubba, to get my turn.
Luckily, when she got tired of her boyfriend, and wanted to fuck other guys without lying, she admitted her skank ways, and I was cleared, by my friends and sister. Not by the rest of the town.
I moved away that fall, and have not been back except for holidays since.
The other rape story was simple:
When I was 12, I went on vacation to Georgia to see my family there. I was playing with my cousin who was also 12, and she decided to insult me, in one of the ways that 12 year olds insult each other. I had meant to say "I'm going to REAP you!" with the thought that if the Grim Reaper reaped, I could too, but it came out "I'm going to rape you!", in front of my family, her family, my great aunt, my sister, and some cousins. I had told my cousin I was going to rape her. Family reunions have not been the same since, and she mostly tries to avoid me now. Though when I moved down to Georgia 3 years ago and saw her, her first question was "Still wanna rape me?"
Proceed with my "-2 DIE" initiation.
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-26 10:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't know how I missed this the first time around...
...great first post.
Submitted by Adam_Warlock (user info) at 2007-07-08 20:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-08 17:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-08 11:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well you hang out at a Winnie Dixie, so that means your from the south. Most likely the deep south.
+2 because this post had rape...
However rape is such a harsh term, I generally prefer to call it "Surprise Sex" or "Love attack"
Submitted by matchstickman (user info) at 2007-07-08 10:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more rape
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-07 18:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
capitalization is for sheep... for those who cannot live a free life of their own making. i don't follow rules, i make rules.
i am a man of action.
a goer.
a getter.
a mover.
a shaker.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-07 17:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
raper.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-07-07 17:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and be sure not to capitalize your sentences when correcting one's grammar.
Submitted by jpk34359 (user info) at 2007-07-07 17:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You suck. Eat a bag of shit and die.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-07-07 15:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not bad
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-07-07 13:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scourge... I hate that whole "alot" thing, too.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-07 12:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
there is no such word as 'alot'
there are two separate words, often used in conjunction, that are offered when one desires to express something happening often or perhaps a large quantity of some specific thing. these two words are 'a' and 'lot'.
while i see the use of these as a crude way to express this frequent happening or this multitude of something, it is quite acceptable within the rules of the English language.
continuing the usage of some butchery of the language(for instance: 'alot'), is not acceptable.
don't do this ever again.
and be glad i told you before redskies did. he would have shivved you as well.
ps, this post was shit, you window-licking future Jerry Springer guest.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2007-07-07 12:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64735
now THAT"S a rape post
Submitted by shmack92 (user info) at 2007-07-07 10:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-07-07 10:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-07-07 01:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-07-07 00:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My rape slaves bring all the rape to the yard and they're like, 'RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE!'
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this is my favorite version of this story
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-07-07 01:00:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aww, fuck, Kaos beat me to it...
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-07-07 00:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My rape slaves bring all the rape to the yard and they're like, 'RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE!'
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-07-07 00:54:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hah, that's awful.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-06 22:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2007-07-06 21:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You've got to be from Maryland or PA. Burg?
I'm from an MD burg...Eldersburg.
Thank god I'm out of that place.
---------------------------------
I'm from a burg! and its in PA as well!
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2007-07-06 21:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You've got to be from Maryland or PA. Burg?
I'm from an MD burg...Eldersburg.
Thank god I'm out of that place.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-06 21:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goddamn that is a scary story man, that could be my worst nightmare
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-07-06 21:06:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
double oi!
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-07-06 20:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+0 DIE
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-07-06 19:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! What is your profession?
Spartans: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-06 19:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't listen to JonnyX. He's angry because the his boss is against crossdressers.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-07-06 19:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations, you fucked an std infested whore.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-07-06 19:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-07-06 19:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so did you do your cousin or what
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-07-06 19:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rape Slaves... Where you at???
"IN THE YARD!!!"
Dat's right! And what you say???
"RAPE-RAPE-RAPE-RAPE-RAPE!!!"
Ah, yeah...
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-07-06 18:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 just because that is scary as hell.
Good thing I'm a eunuch.
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-07-06 18:50:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahhahahaaaa!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-06 18:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is +2worthy, but since you make SUCH A BIG DEAL ABOUT THIS BEING YOUR FIRST POST EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW BETTER, you get a +0.
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-06 18:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait for it...
WAIT FOR IT...
I said, WAIT, motherslicer!
NEEDS MORE RAPE