RPM - Best Cookies Ever (1009 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: recipe
Rating: 1.2 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by scourge (View user info) at 2007-07-09 17:47:10 EDT
BEST COOKIES EVER
...and I'm not fucking kidding either.
ingredients
dough:
2 C. - cake flour
1tsp - baking soda
½ - salt
3 tsp. - Dutch process cocoa
½ tsp - ground morita chilis
¼ C. - medium/fine ground espresso beans.
Pinch of ground cumin
½ C. - white sugar
1 ½ C. - dark brown sugar
1 C. plus two Tbsp(a little over two sticks) - butter, room temperature
2 tsp. - vanilla extract
2 eggs
fillings:
½ C. - dark chocolate, roughly chopped
½ C. - milk chocolate, roughly chopped
½ C. - white chocolate, roughly chopped
1 C. - hazelnuts, toasted and roughly chopped
1 C. - sun dried cherries
a few notes
I know this sounds maybe a little off to some of you, but trust me. The cumin adds just a little hint of earthiness to these cookies. You will not even register the taste, but I certainly know when it's not there. The chilis add a great counterpoint to all the chocolate. Delicious.
As far as the cherries and the nuts, you could look at them as being optional...but my opinion is that if you are going to eat indulgent, luxurious foods like this, you may as well go all the way. Make the eating experience attain an orgasmic level. I have substituted different nuts in place of the hazelnuts, and they have all worked, I just liked the hazelnuts best.
For the chocolate...I use Calebaut chocolate when I cook. It is a wonderfully balanced chocolate, with good levels of cocoa fat and very nicely layered flavours of rum, cherry, and vanilla and it is not a bank busting price. You can use whatever you have at hand, but Callebaut has been my favoured brand for many years.
preparation
1.) Preheat oven to 350F
2.) Cream together butter and sugars until mixture shows little granulation of the sugars in the mix (do not attempt to have a completely creamy mixture or you will make this too light and your cookies will turn into wide puddles. The additional brown sugar prevents doing away with all granulation.) using a stand mixer. I have a 50 years old version of the popular KitchenAid mixers that everyone has as a fashion accessory for their kitchens. My grandparents used it in their bakery. It is awesome. It is the only thing I asked for when my grandma passed away.
3.) Whisk eggs, one at a time, into butter/sugar mixture
4.) Whisk vanilla into mixture
5.) Sift together flour, salt, baking soda, cocoa powder, cumin, espresso, and moritas.
6.) Slowly incorporate dry ingredients mixture into the wet mix.
7.) Using a spatula, fold the 'fillings'- the chocolates, nuts, and cherries - into the batter by hand.
8.) Spoon onto a cookie sheet in portions of about 2 or 3 tablespoons.
9.) Bake for anywhere from 10 - 15 minutes. If you can't tell when a cookie is done baking to your liking, you don't deserve to have my fantastic recipe to begin with.
10.) Eat them and become fat. Fat but very happy.
User Reviews
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-06-18 11:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-08-29 15:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2007-08-21 11:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The recipe I use is a lil simpler but is seriously tasty.
9oz of brown sugar
9oz of white sugar
10oz of butter
2 eggs
10oz of chocolate chips or chunks
1 chopped up mars bar
18oz of plain flour
1/2 tsp of bicarbonate of soda
Mix butter/margarine with sugar until creamy and fluffy.
Add the eggs, chocolate chips and mix well.
Mix the bicarbonate of soda with the flour and add to the other ingredients. Stir to form a thick cookie dough.
Take golf-ball size amounts of the mixture and place spaced apart on a greased baking tray. Flatten slightly.
Bake for 12 minutes in a pre-heated oven at 180 degrees C. The cookies should be slightly golden brown (for a crispier cookie, bake for longer).
Place on a cooling rack.
So tasty
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-08-21 10:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
she's growing up so fast
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-21 10:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Little Sally!
You're only 13! You shouldn't be using illegal drugs.
Submitted by Little_Sally (user info) at 2007-08-21 10:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you forgot the step where you add marijuana to the butter
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-03 10:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
More vacation info.
I just got back from the beach 2 days ago and here are a few things to consider if you are still interested in this area.
-You need a 4x4 to get to some of the best areas.
-I was wrong about the price of houses, they are more than I thought.
-The towns that we have stayed in are Avon, Frisco, and Buxton. Those are the ones that are far away from the popular beaches.
Let me know if you have any more questions.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-11 14:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ok i will...u were talking to me right?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-11 14:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
everything is about sexual orientation with you, pal.
just get a dick in your mouth and get it over with, okay?
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-07-11 14:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck yer faggot ass cookies
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-10 18:14:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-07-10 17:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do what I can ^_^
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-07-10 16:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I did some googleing. You can rent a house for a week that is like 30s away from the beach. If memory servers, depending on the season, the houses run for like $800 buck for a week but that is a big house that can sleep like 10 people. I dont do any of the renting or anything like that.
We stay in Cape Hatteras, which is a ferry ride away from Ocracoke. There is a ton of pirate history in this region and lots of cool shit to see without too many people.
Here is a link for Ocracoke.
http://www.northcarolinavacation.com/regions/Ocracoke-North-Carolina.html
Good luck and have fun. This is the most tropical place I have even been. I have never done any of the Mexico or Florida vacations or anything like that. Being from the Great White North I would rather go to the mountains for a week but the g/f only gets to see her Old Man once or twice a year so this is where we vacation.
Hope this helps.
-Bob
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-10 15:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like scotch bonnet chilli ice cream.
That rocks
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-10 15:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, loki, it is delicious. you just have to trust me. it is very little chili. it makes the cookie come alive with flavour. hot spice sets chocolate off like nothing else.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-07-10 15:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
in a cookie?
that is just wrong
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-10 14:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MMMmm cookies..
*drool*
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-10 14:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
moritas are dried, smoked jalapenos, loki. very, very good.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-07-10 14:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 18:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-09 18:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
If these are the best cookies ever then I'm the most mild-mannered individual here.
---
you are a flaming idiot ginger mongoloid with no redeeming values or characteristics whatsoever. what is it like being universally despised? please go kill yourself. and right before you step off the ladder and feel the noose snapping your sunburned, freckled neck, think about the fact that nobody loves you, nobody has ever loved, nor will they ever.
i ask you to do this because i don't believe in hell. since you won't be suffering in eternal agony, at the very least your last moments will be as those of all your living days; friendless and alone.
it's burial in a paupers grave for you. or maybe donation of the corpse for scientific study? they could learn a lot about the dangers of steroid abuse coupled with mental illness, i'm sure.
now, i know for someone in a lowly sales position, that 8 or so feet of rope may be a bank buster, so i am more than willing to buy and mail it to you. because I am a kind and generous man!
and with that, i wash my hands of you.
okay?
okay!
***************
oooh SNAP
get it - SNAP on a cookie recipe post
bah nobody gets my ingenious humor
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-07-10 14:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's a morita chilis?
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2007-07-10 12:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uhhhh huh huh ... you said "cumin"
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-07-10 11:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-10 03:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Think Id rather go to the cookie shop than arse around doing all that.
If such a magical place existed.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-10 02:38:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-09 23:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sounds time consuming and as though it would require effort
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-07-09 21:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha - best birth of an alter, EVAR.
PS: Is that Baking_Lady's offspring?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 19:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if bart approves it i will use it as +2 only alter
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-09 19:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 19:02:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
right, that's this guy: http://www.ubersite.com/u/sunshiney_goodness99
---
...awesome.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 19:02:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
right, that's this guy: http://www.ubersite.com/u/sunshiney_goodness99
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-09 18:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 18:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry
---
rather... but your user-name IS "scourge" n' all.
It's not like yer moniker is 'sunshiny_goodness99'.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-09 18:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Them looks like some good fuckin' cookies.
yup.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 18:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sorry in advance for my 'crankiness', rob. try the cookies, that will get your mind off of it!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 18:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-09 18:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
If these are the best cookies ever then I'm the most mild-mannered individual here.
---
you are a flaming idiot ginger mongoloid with no redeeming values or characteristics whatsoever. what is it like being universally despised? please go kill yourself. and right before you step off the ladder and feel the noose snapping your sunburned, freckled neck, think about the fact that nobody loves you, nobody has ever loved, nor will they ever.
i ask you to do this because i don't believe in hell. since you won't be suffering in eternal agony, at the very least your last moments will be as those of all your living days; friendless and alone.
it's burial in a paupers grave for you. or maybe donation of the corpse for scientific study? they could learn a lot about the dangers of steroid abuse coupled with mental illness, i'm sure.
now, i know for someone in a lowly sales position, that 8 or so feet of rope may be a bank buster, so i am more than willing to buy and mail it to you. because I am a kind and generous man!
and with that, i wash my hands of you.
okay?
okay!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-09 18:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah. I sent them all the dry ingredients with a recipe on how to use them. they couldn't understand what a cup was etc. so it was meat floating in a vast amount of water at the end. so....it looked like soup apparently. just not the edible, tasty type.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-09 18:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
If these are the best cookies ever then I'm the most mild-mannered individual here.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
they made tacos into soup? wtf?
i try to be sensitive to our non-American friends' usage of a much more sensible system of weights and measurements here on Uber, but when it comes to cooking that all goes out the window.
taco soup?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, be careful. i sent seasonings along with a taco recipe to my friend in scotland and they fucked it right up into soup. :(
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It is a Cup, Beano.
Handy converter here: http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/gram_calc.htm
-------------
Top one, nice one, get sorted.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
C = cup
------
Thank you.
I'm going to blame me fucking these up on the conversion proccess.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It is a Cup, Beano.
Handy converter here: http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/gram_calc.htm
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:54:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.) Preheat oven to 350F
AND GIVE THAT SPOON A LIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
C = cup
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
goddamnit it...
1/2 *TSP* salt. i need to be more careful.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You damn yanks.
WTF is a 'C' of something?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm taking your word for this dude.
Until I cook them.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NO, I mean BAKE ME SOME
Yes yes, they don't travel well. I'm sick of excuses. SICK.
(hungry)
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey scourge
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-09 17:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the best cookies are ones I don't have to spend money on or spend time preparing.
Nothing tastes better than free food.