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SPT - OathMeal's Uberdirectory Thoughts 2007 + Medical Commentary (1284 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 0.08 on 101 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by OathMeal, partying like a lab rat since 1980 (View user info) at 2007-07-12 09:52:45 EDT


Honestly, it's refreshing to put faces with names.

That is, unless you're Queeno, Ghoula, CHR15, Scourge (please stop trying to act sincere on that 'other' site, thanks), foolproof or a member of the horde of worthless degenerates whose sole purpose in life is to oust me my from my position as Ubersite's baddest ass mother fucker EVER.

The rest of you? Good folks, for the most part. Some of the newer posters are chapping my hide but that's just because I'm foregoing underwear for a few days. I kinda like the open-y feeling.

"WHY is Oathmeal so chipper this morning?", I hear you ask.

"WHY is he so incredibly sexy, strong, successful and intelligent?"

Well, friends, though my imperatives in life may be a bit fucked up (spending more than 5 minutes on this trash heap of a website) I do maintain a very respectable level of awesomeness which spawns from my inherent ability to do anything I fucking want to.

That includes posting pictures of my genitalia and revelling in the fervor it creates amongst you bunch of social reprobates. What's next? Well - how about THIS little announcement?



*drum roll*



I do NOT have Gonorrhea!

It's true.


Turns out I caught a bugger of an infection from bareback fucking stray dogs over the weekend and the result had been some unsightly discharge and the inability to obtain and/or sustain an erection. Before responding to the Cialis spam I've been getting I figured it best to consult a medical professional.

ATTN: MEN

Have you ever had an 8-inch long wire tipped with a cotton swab slid into your penis, all the way to where your bladder dumps into your urethra? Hmm? HAVE YOU? Not only is it the most painful experience you will ever have - it's like reverse-peeing Tobasco sauce - but at the end of it you get to sit around and wait for the testing lab to inform you if you're harboring an STD or not.

It would make little sense to even worry about an STD as I haven't been laid in 6 years.

*cue shlongy insult*

But, as it turns out, I don't have any STD's and my member will be back to standard operating condition after 3 or 4 days of sustained antibiotics.



Modern science, while painful, is fucking brilliant.

In related news, I got a raise. In unrelated news, my lower bicuspid dental implant process is nearly over and I'll only be out a total of $4,300 all for a 15mm titanium screw.





To those of you who are Periodontists or maxillofacial surgeons:



fuck off.






fretless guitars are teh sexxors.jpg (82 kB)

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User Reviews


Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-07-15 23:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

No Comment

Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-07-14 00:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Likewise!

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-13 16:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Hi, Unabonger! Nice to see you.

Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-07-13 15:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Astounding us all with your brilliance yet again, you cum-filled, flatulating asshole.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-13 15:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-07-12 21:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

WORD THE FUCK UP ITS OATMEAL




____________


LOCKSLY WHADDYA BENCH!?

Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2007-07-13 11:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

From what I've read of your history on Ubersite, I would be incredibly terrified to meet you even in the sunniest, most crowded and secure place on Earth. I honestly hope all of your accounts and online persona don't represent you to the slightest, but with the sheer amount of time and life you poured into this site...I doubt it. I wish I didn't have to feel so compelled to type this response, but the thought of all your activities on this site, from creepy faux-apologies to disturbing and distasteful commentaries on your personal life all force me to reconsider how twisted the human psyche can be.

Submitted by hellish (user info) at 2007-07-12 22:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

i've seen three year old's eat their own shit and be more entertained than I was by this post

Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-07-12 21:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

WORD THE FUCK UP ITS OATMEAL

Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-07-12 19:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

How can you say you haven't been laid in 6 years...you just wrote that you fucked some stray dogs on the weekend!
And stop whining about the wire (the one inch wire)shoved down yer peeny hole.Uberers such as Kaos Jester and I Like Steak (where,oh where has the tube muncher gone?)shove wires down their peanuts for the thrill of it.
But your post does bring one (meaning a person)to ponder if the wire they used for your tooth implant is the same one used to scrape yer penile implant?

Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2007-07-12 18:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

well, I don't like to boast, but it's me. I'm the badassest badass that ever badassed in the history of badassery. just ask anyone, they'll all agree.

"Frank? Oh he's a total badass!"

see?

badass

and a legend. did I mention I'm a legend too? I did? okay

but a badass too

yeah

dig it

Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-07-12 17:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

How sexist of me; to assume the baddest ass mother fucker of all time would be a man.

Sorry, ladies. Obviously you are welcome to participate. If you think you can dethrone THIS poster as THE BADDEST OF THE BADDEST MOTHER-FUCKING UBER-USER OF ALL TIME just let me know through e-mail, and I will be sure to not respond. Think about it, women! And men! And all you badasses out there... you know who you are.

and so it begins; THE CONTEST TO WHO(M) IS THE BADDEST ASS BAD-ASS OF ALL UBERSITE AND LET'S FACE IT, THE REST OF HUMANITY.

LADIES and gentlemen,

START YOUR BADASSNESSES!

Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-07-12 17:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Ubersite's baddest ass mother fucker EVER.
---

I'm sorry, I must have missed the sign up sheet. Again. Little Sally is in charge of scheduling and accounting; and franky, (don't tell her this; you're in my vault) she does a pretty poor job all around.

So how shall we decide this? Obviously it needs to be bracketed. Who wants to be a part of the greatest contest humanity has ever seen? The contest to determine ubersite's baddest-ass mother-fucker EVER.

Starting from right now I will tally votes until I get bored with this and need to find more beer. Which is actually right now.

GENTLEMEN, START YOUR BADDASSNESSES!!!!!!!!!!


Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You added my name. Does this mean were are web-enemies? Does this mean that you will say mean stuff about me? Let me know. 'Cause I could give two shits about you. You are washed up here, my sad little friend. The ONLY heat you get is from responding to EVERY SINGLE COMMENT left on your posts. You just keep trying to lead people into your little world. I don't give a fuck.

How many times are you going to leave and come back with a new alter?

How many more times will you post about your favorite subject - you?

You need people to hate you, it makes feel better. You are nothing more than an attention whore. Plain and simple.

You obsess with scourge to near homosexual addiction.

You obsess with Ghola with a rapist stalking.

After seeing http://www.ubersite.com/m/95651 I am thouroughly convinced that you are batshit insane and should be locked up somewhere.

Now, spew your playground insults. Call me gay and what not. Say you can kick my ass and so on.

It doesn't bother me. Why?

Because you are a fucking nobody.

Period.
~~~~~~~~~
I don't do hate but....

that was nearly poetic


Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Yeah, because I never "hated" my alter.
----

Even having an alter is pathetic.

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:40:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

The men on this website are so surly.

---

Not to mention both huffy AND puffy...


Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Yeah, because I never "hated" my alter.

Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Why is sicosemen's name even being mentioned here? I'm pretty sure he could kick the shit out of all of you, even though he's a flaming douche bag faggot.
-----
Hi Simon.
-----
You, sir, are a maroon. Do your research and find that I absolutely loathe that guy. I was generally trying to see some more oathmeal rage shine through but it didn't work.

Have a marvy day.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

lol@frank

I promise, pal.

Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

um, I guess I'm glad your gear will be okay, just don't show it to us anymore, k?

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:08:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Now, spew your playground insults.

you are a fucking nobody.






_________________


Contradict yourself much?

Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You added my name. Does this mean were are web-enemies? Does this mean that you will say mean stuff about me? Let me know. 'Cause I could give two shits about you. You are washed up here, my sad little friend. The ONLY heat you get is from responding to EVERY SINGLE COMMENT left on your posts. You just keep trying to lead people into your little world. I don't give a fuck.

How many times are you going to leave and come back with a new alter?

How many more times will you post about your favorite subject - you?

You need people to hate you, it makes feel better. You are nothing more than an attention whore. Plain and simple.

You obsess with scourge to near homosexual addiction.

You obsess with Ghola with a rapist stalking.

After seeing http://www.ubersite.com/m/95651 I am thouroughly convinced that you are batshit insane and should be locked up somewhere.

Now, spew your playground insults. Call me gay and what not. Say you can kick my ass and so on.

It doesn't bother me. Why?

Because you are a fucking nobody.

Period.

Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-12 16:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Why is sicosemen's name even being mentioned here? I'm pretty sure he could kick the shit out of all of you, even though he's a flaming douche bag faggot.
-----
Hi Simon.

Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Why is sicosemen's name even being mentioned here? I'm pretty sure he could kick the shit out of all of you, even though he's a flaming douche bag faggot.

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/110081

The resemblance is disconcerting...

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

A shit pile of a human like you should be in a total comfort zone when someone is "talking shit" to you.

Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

It's a phenomena called 'placating'.
-----
Actually, it's a phenomenon. Singular.

phe·nom·e·na -noun
a pl. of phenomenon.


Such astounding intellect.

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:40:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

The men on this website are so surly.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

And Shlongy, the irony of you talking shit to me is funnier than the disproportionate size of your dogs' pinheads.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Scourge you're an idiot for drawing your own conclusions about what I am and am not capable of.

If I'm such a pathetic ginger twat with no money and no friends how the FUCK would I manage to corral the know-how, resources and time off to hunt you down and do ANYTHING to you?



I'm a fine young man of altruistic means and have only once considered doing something like that, and it was because of someone else's willful interference with my livlihood.


Care to try and have me fired or worse? Only then would I even think of resorting to such measures.



God DAMN I need some more steroids.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Well, I'm sure glad you're here to keep his single-chromosomed mind off of Shlongy from time to time.

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

He's all yours now, Shlong. He's inventing imaginary interchanges in his head now. Add that to the fact he mentions me in every post, and I think it's time to step away before I find him on my porch or peering through my windows one night.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Yeah, this retard tried REAL hard to "track down Shlongy in Atlanta"...if you call "sitting at his desk, dialing up my hotel for 5 hours" "real hard".

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

its time for me to take my ball and go home.








__________________


This is the correct answer.

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.unfretted.com/mp3s/tellef/there_is_no_such_thing.mp3

I am so building one of these things.

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

What the fuck are you talking about?

YOU are the one who threatened to CRUMPLE me. Recall? If there is some nutjob on this site threatening people it is you. For instance, we'll look at this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/95634
And you saying you'd tried to hunt Shlongy down in Atlanta and kick his ass can be exhibit #2

Unlike ToxicNarcotic, you, and a few other crazy people, I have no need to threaten online people with physical harm. If you ever found your way to my door in your attempt to try and 'beat me up', I'd simply shoot you and let you bleed to death on my porch while the cops came over to arrest your fucking crazy stalker ass.

And once again, you reference my 'uber friends'...WTF is wrong with you?

Speaking of that, you reference sicosemen in your review...WTF are you talking about? Everyone here knows he's your pal on this site. I'd suggest if he is feeding you some information, you go back and make sure he isn't just fucking with you. It's not hard to do.




I'd say next to jgreening, you are probably the person LEAST able to separate reality from online of anyone who has ever graced this site with their presence. And Jay finally decided it was unhealthy and left..so where does that leave you, crazy man?



I'm sorry, you fucking nutjob, but once the voices in your head start making things up to fuel your very disturbing obsession with me, its time for me to take my ball and go home.

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:04:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-03-18 20:07:22 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I heart you, Scourge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-18 19:47:52 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2



get it together, you weak minded bint.


Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

8" brush tipped cotton swab = yearly pap smear.
-----------------
even I have to admit a pap smear is drastically different than if they tried to shove it in my urethra
-----

true, but unlike a pap, std tests are not (read: shouldn't be) on a yearly basis if you're careful or at least not a complete slut.

i know at least one person that should probably have them on a weekly basis.

i wonder now if female urethras are narrower due to not needing to pass thicker substances than urine. who wants to sign up for the research on that one. i promise a lot of booze before the experiments commence.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I gotta disagree with you there. If you're sexually active then you should get screened once a year, period. You don't have to be a "slut" to catch an std. That assumption is one of the reasons so many stds are transmitted. People think they arent't the "type" to catch an std, and then transmit it because they don't even know they have it. Even if you are careful you should get yearly screenings. A condom isn't 100 percent safe in the case of intercourse, and who uses condoms for oral?

I know I sounds like a Health Department nurse lecturing a teenager, but I just think it's good sense.

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 15:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

that's okay scourge. no hard feelings. although "weak-minded bint" was inspired, I must say.

ps: B--notice the TWO above! and have you seen my funny, funny elephant jokes today? :)

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 14:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Nose below.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-12 14:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Shut the fuck up.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 14:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Scourge, you go completely out of your way to throw stones and even threaten me via sicosemen.



I'm not sure I understand what makes you think you're going to get anywhere in doing all this. I have a great way of separating Uber from real life and if you think that's going to change any time soon you're quite wrong.

Keep it up though, sport. If your wife, job, cats and hobbies don't gratify you enough, perhaps your uberfriends cheering you on as you pick on me will do the trick.

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 14:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

i called you those names? man, i guess i AM a dick sometimes. i will blame drinking and frustration with outside things.

i apologize. you are none of those things, i think.





oathmeal is still a huge bloody twat, though.

Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-07-12 14:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

8" brush tipped cotton swab = yearly pap smear.
-----------------
even I have to admit a pap smear is drastically different than if they tried to shove it in my urethra
-----

true, but unlike a pap, std tests are not (read: shouldn't be) on a yearly basis if you're careful or at least not a complete slut.

i know at least one person that should probably have them on a weekly basis.

i wonder now if female urethras are narrower due to not needing to pass thicker substances than urine. who wants to sign up for the research on that one. i promise a lot of booze before the experiments commence.
----------------------------------------
Will you buy me a lab coat if I do it?

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 14:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

did I? I didn't mean to. It was the fucking scroll bar.

see? it made me swear.

:(




Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 14:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

lol experima -1ed me.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-12 14:03:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Good grief...lick his ass already.

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 13:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:13:32 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 09:07:12 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Hi, experima. How are you today?

-----------

Fine, thank you. Top of the morning to you, and all.

TOP OF THE MORNING!
---

Your cheerfulness and zest for life should be an inspiration to us all.

It makes the fact that I am the only (well, probably the only. can you confirm or deny this?) person whom you have ever retaliatory -2ed. Well, retaliatory +2ed, than had a change of heart and retaliatory -2ed for a grand finale of a retaliatory 0. Either way.

-------------------

ah, scourge. water under the bridge. that was like, early days and I was drunk that night.
YOU on the other hand, are the only user I say "hey" instead of "hi" to, and the only, only, only user I like that has called me not only a retard and a slore, but also a weak-minded bint. Good times.
I'd put a smiley-face here but that's what got me called those names to begin with I think.
:)

oops

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-12 13:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

TOP OF THE MORNING!
~~~
Thats what I say!

Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2007-07-12 13:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

you're twenty seven????


AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAAA

AAAAHAHAHA

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 13:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 09:07:12 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Hi, experima. How are you today?

-----------

Fine, thank you. Top of the morning to you, and all.

TOP OF THE MORNING!
---

Your cheerfulness and zest for life should be an inspiration to us all.

It makes the fact that I am the only (well, probably the only. can you confirm or deny this?) person whom you have ever retaliatory -2ed. Well, retaliatory +2ed, than had a change of heart and retaliatory -2ed for a grand finale of a retaliatory 0. Either way.

Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

8" brush tipped cotton swab = yearly pap smear.
-----------------
even I have to admit a pap smear is drastically different than if they tried to shove it in my urethra
-----

true, but unlike a pap, std tests are not (read: shouldn't be) on a yearly basis if you're careful or at least not a complete slut.

i know at least one person that should probably have them on a weekly basis.

i wonder now if female urethras are narrower due to not needing to pass thicker substances than urine. who wants to sign up for the research on that one. i promise a lot of booze before the experiments commence.
----------------------------------

Other than people in long term relationships do you know many people who over the age of 21 who isnt sleeping with one new person a year? Then yeah a yearly STD exam would be pretty relevant.

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 09:07:12 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Hi, experima. How are you today?

-----------

Fine, thank you. Top of the morning to you, and all.

TOP OF THE MORNING!

Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Naw, too easy.

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

8" brush tipped cotton swab = yearly pap smear.
-----------------
even I have to admit a pap smear is drastically different than if they tried to shove it in my urethra
-----

true, but unlike a pap, std tests are not (read: shouldn't be) on a yearly basis if you're careful or at least not a complete slut.

i know at least one person that should probably have them on a weekly basis.

i wonder now if female urethras are narrower due to not needing to pass thicker substances than urine. who wants to sign up for the research on that one. i promise a lot of booze before the experiments commence.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Shlongy, don't you have a bucket of golf balls with little pictures of me on them to go smack around with your 9 iron?

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Scourge watching you front like you know music is truly painful.

Someone of your intellectual caliber is precluded from being musically inclined at all.





Stop believing your wife when she tells you you're good at something. It's a phenomena called 'placating'.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Who is this fat cunt?


No one.

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Hi, experima. How are you today?

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

hey, Scourge!

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 12:04:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

oh, i'm a decent musician, little lady. and i'm in no means trying to educate you on anything here as we have heard what passes as your music. you're an untalented, unteachable loser. i'm just here to rub it in your face that you're too fucking poor to even go blow a few grand on a guitar.


Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 08:39:32 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Hi Experima! Say, you have cute shoes on today. Are those new? Didja get 'em on sale at DSW?

-----------

I only shop at Sak's...these kill my feet but fashion first, right?


Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Scourge, please don't act like you know anything about music. At least, please don't do it on my post.

Go elsewhere to spread your filth and ignorance.

Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Who is this fat cunt?

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

i have a fretless bass. put flatwound strings on it.

you get used to not having the landmarks of the frets or the markers. it just takes a little time and practice. i mean, you don't watch your hands when you play anyway, do you? it's just physical memory.

you get a very, very clean sound, especially in combination with the flatwounds. i like to play jazz, so the mellow sound of the flats, which get rid of any finger noise, combined with getting rid of all the fret buzzs and pops, is nice.

another bonus is without the frets you can have really low action and so play a little quicker without wearing out your hands as fast.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Hi Experima! Say, you have cute shoes on today. Are those new? Didja get 'em on sale at DSW?

Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

8" brush tipped cotton swab = yearly pap smear.
-----------------
even I have to admit a pap smear is drastically different than if they tried to shove it in my urethra

Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:34:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

In unrelated news, my lower bicuspid dental implant process is nearly over and I'll only be out a total of $4,300 all for a 15mm titanium screw.
--------------------------------------------
I feel your pain, $7,200 later and I'm one tooth away from being done. Couple of kicks to the face during a game will really fuck up your day.

About that exam, my friend went in for that test and when he explained to the practitioner what activities he had engaged in to make him worry about having contracted an STD she was swabbing him while saying "YOU.... ENGAGED... IN SOME.... VERY DANGEROUS...ACTIVITIES..."pull swab out at eleventy million miles per hour. He said he couldnt help but tear up.

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hi, B!

Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

nigger

Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Boring, standard, OathMeal offering above.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Boring, standard, scourge offering below.

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

oh, i wasn't trying to play nice with you over there, idiot. i'd as soon bash a brick through your head as not. i just didn't want to see your faggoty whining over there anymore than I want to see it here. you and people like you basically ruined pH with all your hand holding fuckery involving shitty posters. i'm glad the kids fucked your account.

now, on to the important part: are you going to namedrop me in EVERY post of yours now? this is frightening. the fact thatt you lay in bed at night before you fall asleep and have thoughts about how 'mean' i am to you and about 'uber friends' is very disturbing.

please get help.

Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1


Don't lie...

Every single one of you have at one time thought: "Gee, I wish 'clymidia' wasn't an STD. It would be a pretty name for a little girl."



Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Shitty.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Anansie, yes.

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-07-12 11:00:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Honestly I don't have dental insurance and probably won't until I have a job that offers it. I personally wouldn't really consider tooth replacement "cosmetic." If you get your tooth knocked out in a trauma and have to have it replaced is that "cosmetic" too?

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Yes katy I'm a glutton for penile pain.

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:57:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i liked the drumroll STD revelation

Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

8" brush tipped cotton swab = yearly pap smear.

you can do a piss test for the clap you know. you just wanted your penis fucked in the nontraditional sense didn't you?

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

It's weird that I'm zeroing in on this as opposed to other topics but is that dental charge with or without insurance?




________________________

Just about ALL dental insurance providers consider implant dentistry COSMETIC dentistry.

What does that mean? It's not covered. If it is covered, it's only 10% or so and you have to have been on your plan for at least 2 years to even get THAT discount.



I dare someone to show me a plan that covers more for this sort of work.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:51:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Nobody is saying any of that, fucktard.

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

It's weird that I'm zeroing in on this as opposed to other topics but is that dental charge with or without insurance?

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

if we were to fight, i'd win, because I am bigger and stronger than you, and I bet I can lift a lot more weight with my arms.



_______________

Dude I could drive a nail with my hard-on.


My level of strength and superiority is near indescribable. I try though, for the benefit of all who might question it.

Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

if we were to fight, i'd win, because I am bigger and stronger than you, and I bet I can lift a lot more weight with my arms.

it's crumpling time.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Da Nang, excuse me.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

dude, they have other ways to test for that.







_________________

Obviously my GP is not a member of 'they'.

He's a grizzled old Vietnam vet who started spinning a yarn about when HE caught an STD in Da Nong back in 1970, in an effort, evidently, to put me at ease.

Didn't work.

Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

dude, they have other ways to test for that.



I remember one itme I was working in the jungle and a doc was supposed to call me back (phones were hard to get to) only if there was something serious.

when he got in touch I thought it must be the HIV, fortunately it was just the clap. He had never heard someone so excited over having an STD.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:29:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

The whole fretless thing is incredibly intriguing and I'd love to get my hands on one just to satisfy my curiousity.

But, if it's anything like a fretless bass, I'll just end up confused and mad because I can't find landmarks on the fretboard with which to coordinate my playing.


Nothing says "FUCK THIS THING!" like always being too sharp or flat when sounding a note.

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I didn't question your skills, I just wanted to know if you had a fretless guitar. Thanks for the repsonse. I don't have one either, for the record. I thought that if you did own one, you could post a recording because I can't say I've ever heard one played. I'll google it to see if there's any samples I can hear. I had a fretless bass for a while, but it had to go once when I didn't have any money. I hardly ever played it.



Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

LEG END

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

skrap, you're always one to want proof.




I remember you questioning my ollie skills. You also didn't think I could even play the guitar and accused me of skipping out on show of hands for that reason.



No, I don't own a fretless guitar, skrap. I appreciate the unique look of one however and willed an image of such to be on this post.

I hope that clears things up.

Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You remind me of jgreening, but in a bad way.

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Question: Do you actually own/play a fretless guitar? Or is this pic on the same 'heard of them, want to get one, will never be able to afford it and wouldn't know what to do with it if I actually did find one in my posession' level as the "Orange County Choppers" stickers that seem to be on every white-owned pickup truck (except mine) and minvan in Tampa. No sarcasm intended, just a serious question.

Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

"my position as Ubersite's baddest ass mother fucker EVER."

You wish Josephine.

Submitted by Sydney (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Well, I've got the 'wire of fire' once or twice.

Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:07:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

"I don't fucking care what Google tells you, the Cytoscope was invented in Hell by Nazis."




HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

FALLEN = awesome

Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

funny

don't like the guitar much though.


Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Congratulations on a disease free wang.


8 inch wire tipped with cotton swab?

I got that beat.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86981


Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

noob faggots below.

Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

i got this far "Ubersite's baddest ass mother fucker EVER."



Submitted by Geophillyx (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:01:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

-2 tasteless guitar design, looks like it was custom made for a black guy with too much money
+1 fretless are indeed teh sexxors


One day you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about
for generations. You may outsmart someone.

-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius