Flight CSA 1006 to Warsaw, another dull trip (399 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: -0.36 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Vilem Marak <vilem.marak.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-07-13 04:20:14 EDT
So I took a seat on flight CSA1006 on way to Warsaw. Probably for the last time for this company and another boring 4 hour meeting in a very ugly town as a not so fond memory of my employment. At least I won't spend the night there.
As always, I picked up the three piece flight safety manual that they conveniently place in the seat pouch in front of you, just to see if the plot may have thickened since the last month that I viewed it. Same old, same old.
"Excuse me, I believe that you are in my seat." I looked up and muttered half an apology to a woman I would look twice at while our paths crossed in a crowded terminal. Shapely with a ready smile and nicely shoulder length cropped brown hair. A brunette!
"uhm....sure, I guess I'm in the next seat." I get up and let here sit near the window.
At least I'll have someone nice to talk to and look at during the flight.
She then pulled out a little box and a pack of tissue paper and placed it on her lap.
After adjusting her seat, "excuse me again, I'm going to the lavatory"
I get up, smile and let her pass. As I sit I can't help but watch and smile as those curvy hips sway side to side in that tight fitting business attire that some dragon ladies wear when they want to both establish their competence as tough managers and still entice men into doing what they want based on the lingering hope that those men will get their married, pale, little digits under that skirt.
The air waitresses begin their seat belt and exit talk as my neighbor returns, smiles, I get up, she sits.
As the you-are-about-to-die pep talk from the flight crew ends. The fair lady blows and incredible sneeze, ACHOO!, and raises her kerchief to her face, and visibly shudders for about 10 seconds.
She opens a newspaper and reads for a minute, and again blows another sneeze any male would be proud to issue, takes a tissue, wipes her nose and shudders, but this time a little more aggressively.
She raises the paper and once again, minutes pass then blow, wipe, shake
Eager to make small talk and curious about all the shaking, I ask "Umm, you have a cold from all that air travel?"
Without looking out from the paper she answers "no, I don't"
I couldn't stand it any longer..."I couldn't help but notice that after every sneeze you shudder progressively more and more. Are you OK?"
The paper lowers and she looks at me, says nothing as she is measuring me up and replies, almost apologetically "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm." She continues to stare at me dead eyed, noting my discomfort.
My mind reels for something smart to say to cover my embarrassment "wow, umm, interesting," my head matter of factly bobbing "...you taking anything for that?"
The woman stares, nods, raises her paper and says, "Pepper."
Ta dum dum!
User Reviews
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-13 11:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you forgot to include the part where you bang her silly.
------------------
not part of the story.
im too old to bang silly, i seduce and slowly bring into everlasting extacy.
goof
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-13 18:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-13 15:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-13 11:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you forgot to include the part where you bang her silly.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-13 10:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ignore warsaw, unless you are curious what gruesome architecture looks like.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-07-13 10:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I heard krackow was nice, but warsaw's a hole? good to know as I was thinking of having a weekend over there.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-13 09:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
most horrible city ive ever seen. it was 95% destroyed by uncle adolf.
stalin rebiult it using the old town plans, but instead of brick they used concrete.
with the soviet flair for architecture.
it's a city whose only saving grace is the very feminine women in it. they are beautiful, can cook and dote on their men; who do not deserve them at all.
i hate it.
krakow is gorgeous, however.
they also are very heavy drinkers.
beer is a child's drink, vodka is the preffered beverage. at least 40 proof
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-07-13 09:51:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so was warsaw nice?
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-13 09:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
how bout something for the B17 pic, no?
dont understand skrap's comments though.
lame joke?
guess it was lost in the translation.
WARNING!
i will be submitting shit like this every friday from now on.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
also, i guess i should get on the bandwagon and rate accordingly.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-13 09:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
There was a little effort, but not enough dude.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-07-13 08:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-13 08:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*sees GBoT*
*prepares to -2*
*scans text, sees "orgasm"*
*reads lame joke*
*shakes head*
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-13 05:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that
sounds
like
a
lot
of
work
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just tell some half-assed interesting story about yourself, and put spaces in it.
--------------
Yeah, seriously dude. You have to have at least one funny story to tell. Just don't post it today, wait til tomorrow...
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just tell some half-assed interesting story about yourself, and put spaces in it.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pretty much did.
i lead a boring life and cant write fer shite, but feel compelled to add something.
that way i dont feel like im here for free.
so rate away - minus, plus, i dont care, but my conscience is free!
EI - i ain't crying, just funnin'
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Even worse is this sounds like you turned a joke into a post.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
calm down dear!! Its just a post!
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:37:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there are paragraphs, just not spaces between them.
...that wasnt in the rule book!
i cant even post on this stupid site right!
first the wife,
then the storm,
the mule went lame,
now this.
AAARRGGG!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
To include paragraphs in your posts.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
know what?
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You should know better....
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-13 04:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HOLY HUGE BLOCK OF TEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You must know by now!!