Cockyness Aside (403 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.7 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by I Will Break-A Your Face (View user info) at 2007-07-16 08:23:02 EDT
OK, I'm fairly certain that I will never have a real post now. Cockyness aside, Grammar will probably still suck though. Actually, I know it will still suck because I'm retard who thinks grammar should be capitalized right here. Hold on, please. Nurrrrrr. Sorry, I just had a downie tick.
Im not going to go into being some huge ladies man or whatever because I'm a pathetic piece of shit, but heres the situation. About 6 months ago I was in a relationship with this dude named George who ended up cheating on me with some Village People performer. You may or may not know of him, but his name is Ennit. The relationship obviously ended badly; i.e there were no more Cleveland transfers. At that point I had only been with 5 burly hair chested men. Since then I got a job as a dick sock at one of the local penny peep shows and I have started bringing lots of semen samples home. I'm not sure about the exact number but I'm sitting somewhere around 15 right now. I'm not quite sure because I only have 10 fingers and I know that I've only fucked 3 dudes. I haven't really cared about any of those raging cock strength men at all, honestly half of them I don't even know if they are alive or dead. I know, I know, if I were telling the truth half of that would be 7 1/2 but because I'm lying it's only 1 1/2. Wait, how can I know what 1/2 of a person is doing.
So, a few weeks back one of the bartenders I work with comes over to fool around with my (also a raging faggot) brother who I live with (because going to school, getting a job, and creating a life of my own where I don't leech off of people was too much to do), and brings his friend. His friend and I hit it off and we start talking about big cocks being stuffed into our anuses. We have both been cheated on and both of us were being cautious. At first I will admit I only wanted to have sex with him on my brothers semen encrusted faux leather sofa that was second hand from the Salvation Army. The first day or two that was the whole plan, but then I started to catch feelings for him. I think I really do like the manly man now, and up until earlier tonight he liked me too, things were going well.
Then the other night my brother had some other bartender we work with over and he brought his friend over. The four of us started drinking and before you know it my brother had the other guy with his legs in the air licking his hairy balloon knot upstairs. That left me and his friend on the couch drunk watching TV because I don't know how to seal the deal. We started kissing, but it stopped there, then I went to bed. Well as per the usual, I totally forgot that even happened because I was wasted. Somehow, every time I drink more than 2 Mike's Hard Lemonade's I get silly and start fingering my crinkle. Hehehehe, lol!
So time goes on and me and guy number 1 are hitting it off and things are still going great until last night, when out of the blue he asks who is (guy#2s name)? I told him the story and he basically said I broke his trust and things are pretty much over. I cant believe that I'm so stupid as to not use the spell check button, which is so easy, or that I did that to someone and caused the same pain I went through. Basically, I feel like shitting in my own mouth, like tubgirl, because I hurt somone I cared about, even though I only knew him for 1 week.
So any advice or wisdom out there would be welcome, but I suppose I deserve some of the flaming (hehe, like me) that is sure to come.
By the way, this is what I like to do: Smile like a donut.
User Reviews
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-16 03:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-08-16 03:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm pretty sure it's spelled "cockiness"
You should repost this. I'll give a plus 2.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-16 09:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't Bother (-2)
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-07-16 08:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-16 08:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-07-16 08:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ7erzZH20U
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-07-16 08:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-16 08:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:32:47 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Show me your hole
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Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:27:12 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pointless really.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 08:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Show me your hole
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-16 08:27:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pointless really.