I'm the janitor from Scrubs. (484 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.4 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AlahAckbar (View user info) at 2007-07-16 09:38:51 EDT
And you, dear reader, are my J.D.'s.
I could care less if you make more then me, I honestly could. But lets break down exactly what I do compared to what you do.
Today, I got to work at 7 am. I did 10 minutes of paper work, then sat on my ass for 20 minutes.
Then, I went out side, and had a cigg.
After that, I went to the floors. Where I proceded to do another 10 minutes of work. Then i went to a different area of the floor, and did 20 minutes of work.
Then I went downstairs, got another cigg, got some breakfast, and have sat on my ass since. Now, it's 9:30. I've been on the clock for 2 hours. And as I sit here, eating bacon, chilling out, playing on the computer, it occurs to me that my job kicks ass. I get paid very well, to do nothing.
See, I'm paid for my knowledge. I operate a very specific peice of medical equipment, one that doctors don't even know how to work properly. There is a specific organ system in the body, and that organ system is what I do. I know exactly how it works, and what to do if it doesn't.
And when it fails, all of a sudden, I'm the most god damn important person in this hospital. I get paid the way I do, because in all honesty, if that system fails, I know more about it then 99.9% of the people in this place.
But because those organs rarely fail, I mostly sit on my ass, WAITING. In the average 8 hour day, I do maybe 2 hours of work.
My hourly wage is 21.40 an hour. On the days that I do two hours of work in an 8 hour day, I'm effectivly getting paid (because I'm NOT WORKING the other 6 hours...) 85 dollars an hour.
Now i know this pisses you off, especially you little retards who are going to be doing nothing for the rest of your life. Persononally, i think it's kinda funny.
Here's something else that should piss you off: Out of everyone I graduated with, I make the most. By a couple of dollars, by 8 bucks in some instances. All the same training, all the same experience, but I am just DAMN good. I beat out 9 other people for this job.
So you can all lick my hairy ass. I'm sorry that my job is better then yours. not only is my job better, but I'm better. hell, my dog is better. My dogs shit is better.
My Dog, after he eats his shit, then poops out his shit again, is better.
HA!
You see, There is a big difference between me screwing around, and me actually writing. (uh oh, some smartie is going to say "I couldn't tell!" ha ha ha, lolomgwtfbbq).
Now give me my hits. Dance puppets, dance!
-Alahackbar
User Reviews
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2007-07-18 22:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw, thanks!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-17 02:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2007-07-16 18:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
now now, merlina, you are not the type to hold a grudge, are you? Much to mature for that, right?
~~~~
no of course I'm not the type to hold a grudge sweetie.
Have a +2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 19:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just out of curiosity, I wanted to see how low I could get my rating in a couple of days. from like a .78 to a .52.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah RIGHT!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-07-16 18:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My hourly wage is 21.40 an hour
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So thats like £10 an hour. You realise thats fuck all, right?
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Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2007-07-16 18:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You don't realize that I give fuck all what you make. Oh wow, your making "real money". woo hoo. I am impressed.
Just like you telling me that "i shouldn't brag about how much i get, no body cares!" how is you telling me that you make 'real money" any different?
so yeah. Just out of curiosity, I wanted to see how low I could get my rating in a couple of days. from like a .78 to a .52. I think that's worse the fetish ever did to me. hee hee!
now now, merlina, you are not the type to hold a grudge, are you? Much to mature for that, right?
Why don't both you tools go back to my posts from the past, take a read, and see what you think. Look at what someone who knows how to write can do.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-16 18:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My hourly wage is 21.40 an hour
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So thats like £10 an hour. You realise thats fuck all, right?
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hahahaha
exactly
he doesn't realise that alhtough some of us are on Uber - some of us are earning real money here. haha hah
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My hourly wage is 21.40 an hour
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So thats like £10 an hour. You realise thats fuck all, right?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Here is your hit.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nothing personal, but I earn your weekly wage by midday Tuesday every week.
Of course, I have ulcers, smoke 2 packs a day, I'm losing my hair, am often suicical and look like death half of the time...BUT I'M GETTING PAID THE BIG BUCKS
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awesome. Shlongy is a lot like my boss. my boss is a fun dude and has way too much money.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sucking off farm animals for www.goatsinmymouth.com doesn't count as legal salary.
Love you schlongy! :D
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:58:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We have more than THAT in common, toots!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nothing personal, but I earn your weekly wage by midday Tuesday every week.
Of course, I have ulcers, smoke 2 packs a day, I'm losing my hair, am often suicical and look like death half of the time...BUT I'M GETTING PAID THE BIG BUCKS,
~~~
I knew we had something in common, honey
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nothing personal, but I earn your weekly wage by midday Tuesday every week.
Of course, I have ulcers, smoke 2 packs a day, I'm losing my hair, am often suicical and look like death half of the time...BUT I'M GETTING PAID THE BIG BUCKS,
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I make more money then you.
~~~~~
ps. No, you don't.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I could care less if you make more then me
~~~~~~~~
AAAAAGHHHHHH!
"I COULD care less"??????? Means you DO care!
Its "I COULDN'T care less"
LEARN TO FECKING SPEAK, YOU FECKING MORONIC WASTE OF OXYGEN
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh you little underlings. with your stupid little lives.
I make more money then you.
You are live in the basement at your moms, and are virgins to boot.
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck Rob, this is the shit I'm talking about. PWN HIM.
(Fuck you, I haven't slept. People and their dying <further rambling>)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't read it. I didn't need to. The title was enough.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24173
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2007-07-16 09:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes my little lemmings... yes...
Put me on most heated! Your master commands it!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-07-16 09:50:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 stay on the front page and make people angry.
Your job will kick ass for about the first 6 months to a year. Then you will be:
A. Fat from eating too much and being too inactive all day
B. hating the job because you hardly ever actually DO anything that keeps your interest
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-16 09:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You'll have to do better.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-07-16 09:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My sad little man - the world is big, we've got teh money in the UK, and you should get out more. But you are the roxxr.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-16 09:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100208
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-16 09:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-07-16 09:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow you're super. yay.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-16 09:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're not very good at this, are you?
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 09:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
so what exactly DO you do? Which organ system? I'm curious