Ubersite Truths (769 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.3 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Foorploof (View user info) at 2007-07-16 10:51:36 EDT
So, here we are on the ol' Information Superhighway, a mecca for millions of people in their day to day lives. Doing business, keeping in touch with loved ones, searching for tentacle porn.
Yet, even after all these years, we still have the Ubersite truths. The old cliches people spout off at one another to prove their virtual toughness and the old go-tos that people use to distance themselves from this culture.
First off, we have the "basement dwelling virgin" debate. Seems that everybody on the 'net is solidly convinced that everybody else is a pale, pimply-faced virgin that lives in mom and dad's basement. It's a wonder that anything ever happens in this world with all of these internet trolls being constantly online. Not to mention that our population as a species is sure to suffer with only about 3% of our population having sex.
Next, we have the vast amounts of people bragging about their drug and alcohol induced hazes. I may have missed a meeting, but when did being chemically dependant and abusive become the trademark of the wealthy, successful, and sexually attractive? All I know is that the 3% of us getting laid are always in a stupor.
Finally, you make more money than me. Don't take into account that you have never actually seen my paycheck, nor I yours; but it's safe to say you are independently wealthy. All the better, too. What with all the drugs, booze, and broads you need to pay for you need the cash. Also, how can we expect you to work while being stoned, drunk, and naked.
What I'm getting at here is shut the fuck up. We, and I feel I speak for the majority of us, don't fucking care how cool you want to seem. I don't care about your job unless it involves guns, explosions, and maybe a rabid wombat attacking school children. This shit may have been interesting in 1994, but cut the crap already.
User Reviews
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2007-07-17 14:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Clown.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-07-17 06:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why do I even bother clicking on your shithouse posts?
Submitted by Wildcard (user info) at 2007-07-17 05:28:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I may have missed a meeting, but when did being chemically dependant and abusive become the trademark of the wealthy, successful, and sexually attractive?"
We hardly have it trademarked. There are plenty of chemically dependant, abusive, poor, ugly people.
They tend to be much less cheerful about it, though.
And they all tend to live in [insert your most-hated locale here].
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-17 05:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-07-17 05:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In real life I am a total gangster, with guns, bitches and bling coming out of my ears, who lives in Rio and abuses girls from impoverished backgrounds. Every time I log in it is from a bank I have robbed and murdered all the employees. I am like Chuck Norris crossed with 50 cent crossed with Al Capone crossed with Winston Zedmore crossed with Houdini crossed with an Orca whale.
ez *Brazillian gang sign*
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love being drunk, it reminds of the time I got drunk.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 20:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-07-17 00:48:22 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm really a ten year old girl.
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Its true! Me and Shlongy abused Bigmike as part of our paedophile ring....oh shit.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-07-16 19:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm really a ten year old girl.
Submitted by oapa (user info) at 2007-07-16 19:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FP, indeed. it is everywhere.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-07-16 18:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yawn
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-07-16 18:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We dont really have basements in Britain.
I havent touched teh druggorz in a long time and it was always fairly boring when I did.
Everyone makes more money than me, including tramps. Dead tramps. Dead tramps on fire.
___
Love the last one. I'm right there with you.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:14:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hidden! are you ignoring me?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my job involves guns and explosions. (as most of you know)
and i get paid a lot to do it. (i pay more in taxes than most of you gross in a year. suck on that, losers!)
and i'm super hot and have a huge penis. (many women know this)
oh, and i like to get hammered drunk in my free time. (common knowledge)
funny thing is, all of this is true. man, i love me.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I kinda wish my job involved explosions. Or rabid wombats, that's also fine.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Picture.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
PREACH FP, PREACH
by the way, as indicated by my camwhore, I am quite tan, and not skinny or pimply
Im jolly, and quite poor, with a steady woman, and my partying days are getting fewer and farther between by the day.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+ I got a really fine handjob this weekend.
- I had to pay for it.
+ I haggled for a great price.
- You cannot clean up a pint of semen with a tiny hot towel.
Life. You take the good with the bad.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a virgin, (saving myself for the right girl) I live in my mom's basement (cheap rent), I make more money than you (sucking cock...it's NOT sex, the President said so!), I can kick your (or anyone else's on this website) ass, and I'm proud.
So fuck you man. Fuck you!
:-(
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We dont really have basements in Britain.
I havent touched teh druggorz in a long time and it was always fairly boring when I did.
Everyone makes more money than me, including tramps. Dead tramps. Dead tramps on fire.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i assume very few people that actually announce themselves, on here at least, are basement dwellings.
i assume most people make way more money than i do.
i don't assume much about drug/alcohol use besides the random "you're on crack" statement.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This Alah character sounds like a sound gent.
Good on him.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why bother?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, but *YAWN*.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:16:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Precisely the point of this post below. Stop with the chest thumping, both of you. It's getting old and the walls are caked with enough piss and testosterone. Fuck.
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Anywhere Oathy shows up, he tries to make it a flex off.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:16:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Susie brings all the boys to the yard.
i mean MEN!!!!!!!!
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:16:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've used no less then 2 of these things, and seen the other one, within the past week.
regardless. I will continue to assume that you are a basement dwelling virgin, until you prove otherwise. You are free to do the same.
I will also tell you that my job is the roxxors. you can deal with that how you like.
Lates!
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Susie I have NO problem being told by you what to do.
*shuts up*
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Precisely the point of this post below. Stop with the chest thumping, both of you. It's getting old and the walls are caked with enough piss and testosterone. Fuck.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:13:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yup
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oathmeal - Talking about nothing but himself from Day One.
----------------------------
Foolproof - ineffectively dodging accusations since his inception.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oathmeal - Talking about nothing but himself from Day One.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was going to write something interesting but this post isn't worth it
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I don't care what you think, you pathetic cunt.
You have yet to post somehting "worth" anything.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You know what's funny about this post?
Foolproof here has, on more than one occasion, bragged at LENGTH about his savings account (~$40k, to be more precise), loving family, education/profession and overall value as a human.
I find that remarkably ironic.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Right on.
Submitted by URNVUS (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've made $20 on the stock market so far this morning.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1 - Sorry, not a virgin, but I AM pale and dwelling in an apartment. I've long past the pimples into the stage where I simply forget to shave for days. I had quite the furry look going on until yesterday. Regardless, I haven't got any in a few months now...
2 - I do drink a lil' too much. I was wasted Saturday night. Then there's the fact I take a handful of pills every night. No illegal drugs, through. I haven't touched any of that stuff since my reckless youth. And of course, we all know I smoke like a chimney.
3 - And finally, what is this "Money" thing that you speak of???
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-07-16 11:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope fuckbar sees this.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I get drunk on weekends and will continue to do so...because I'm cool.
I don't have a basement.
I've been married 7 1/2 years, so I'm almost completely celibate.
I don't think I have a point.
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was going to write something interesting but this post isn't worth it
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:55:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i will readily admit i am a lousy fotographer.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah, what he said.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
But...I AM cool.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
These are all Shlongy's theories.