Fat People Want To Invade Your Privacy (1475 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.31 on 92 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (View user info) at 2007-07-16 13:14:52 EDT
Me and my gf rented Superman and were watching it in our bedroom. It was hot night so we opened all the windows and left the door slightly opened for some fresh air.
Normally, when you leave your door open, there is a 99.9999999% chance nothing will happen as if it was closed or a 0.000001% chance that a group of niggers invade your home and gang rape you. A situation I like to simulate on my friday nights btw.
Anyway, as I was secretly touching myself under the sheets while watching Brandon Rout in his fit costume, we heard: "Allo...allo! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-llo!"
I go at the door and a fat chick is in our doorway, looking around our place.
I barely had time to say "what the..." that my gf pushed me aside and said "Get the fuck out!" (actually, she said "Décriss!" but I'm translating).
She tried to close the door to force the pig out our residence but the animal (we all know fat people aren't human) resisted and asked: "Can I take a piss?"
gf: "Um...no"
fat chick: "Then why is your door opened?"
gf: "Certainly not for fat chicks to use my bathroom. Get the fuck out!"
And then she slammed the door on the creature's face and I LOLled with glee.
The bitchy side of women can come in handy in these situations. They tend to have excellent repartee while us men just stand there with a retarded empty glare, contemplating the idea of doing a threesome with a fat chick...wait! what!?
But seriously, later 3 other people peeked into our place by curiosity. Coincidentally, all 3 were overweight.
I know fat people like to read about celebrities lives or watch Reality TV while eating jam with their fingers because their life is so miserable, but please, keep that digusting voyeurist shit at home.
User Reviews
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2007-07-24 12:50:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If this was a skinny person who worships trees, everything would have been cool.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-07-24 12:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fat is the root of ALL evil.
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ta blonde a serieusement rien dit avant de dire a la grosse criss de decalisser?! fucking nice. J'aurait au moins dit, "bien... euh... qu-est ce que tu fais ici" mais non. la que j'y pense, "DECALISSE!" C'est peut etre un peut mieux :)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-07-19 12:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, you're hawt!
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Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 10:50:08 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait, why the fuck were they all trying to use your bathroom?
all because your door was open? is that some universal signal in Canada that my house is a public shitter?
I just dont get why this happened
===
me neither.
when i see an open door, it doesn't mean i can hop on people's property and barge into their home. i've honestly never seen this before but to be honest, i fucking hate the people in this new city i moved in (Quebec City). they speak as if they lived in a cosmopolis cuz they have an inferiority complex only rivalled by canadians but they are fucking nosy, like rural christians who will come knock at your door to ask you why you weren't at Church.
if you cross someone in the street, that person will surely stare at you. if you're talking with soemone in a public area, people will surely listen to your conversation. if i'm in the bus with grocery bags, they look at your bags to see what you got in there. if you go pass a terasse, all the restaurant customers will stare at you. if you work out, you will surely 2-3 morons staring at you while you do your exercises...etc...
it's horrible...at first i thought i was paranoid but i swear, i fucking hate this place. i'm making good money so i'm milking this cow and i'm leaving this boring civil servant city.
/rant
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2007-07-18 21:26:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant!!
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-07-18 04:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you! I followed your link to a good posting!
Damn you Court... DAMN YOU!!!!!!!
I hate it when fat chicks wear bikinis. It's like "She's NAKED!" and I'm immediatly attracted, just because the idea of nakedness is in my head.
Then I realize that she's not naked, just really fat. And that makes me sick to my stomach.
So then I end up being horny, and sick at the same time. Then I masturbate while crying.
But that's normal.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-07-18 03:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I <3 women who are anti marriage
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-18 03:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-07-18 03:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-17 17:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, and never gonna happen. Im actually not against the institution, or romance, I just find overt flowery gestures a crock of shit, you know what I would like to get more than a bunch of flowers? Change the oil in my car, do it with your own two hands and you will impress me. Thats a real gesture, a gesture of your time and real thoughtfulness. Everything else is just bullshit icing and posturing, in my humble opinion mind you.
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has never been cared for, above.
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yeah Ahole, I think there may be more to this anti-romantic attitude....
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-07-18 03:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-17 17:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, and never gonna happen. Im actually not against the institution, or romance, I just find overt flowery gestures a crock of shit, you know what I would like to get more than a bunch of flowers? Change the oil in my car, do it with your own two hands and you will impress me. Thats a real gesture, a gesture of your time and real thoughtfulness. Everything else is just bullshit icing and posturing, in my humble opinion mind you.
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has never been cared for, above.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-18 03:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-17 17:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, and never gonna happen. Im actually not against the institution, or romance, I just find overt flowery gestures a crock of shit, you know what I would like to get more than a bunch of flowers? Change the oil in my car, do it with your own two hands and you will impress me. Thats a real gesture, a gesture of your time and real thoughtfulness. Everything else is just bullshit icing and posturing, in my humble opinion mind you.
======================
marriage isnt for everyone, I can definitely respect that! But you dont believe in romanticism? A romantic gesture like cooking your partner dinner and spending some quiet time alone feels so good!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-07-18 03:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Normally, when you leave your door open, there is a 99.9999999% chance nothing will happen as if it was closed or a 0.000001% chance that a group of niggers invade your home and gang rape you.
I laughed at that for at LEAST 30 seconds.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-17 17:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, and never gonna happen. Im actually not against the institution, or romance, I just find overt flowery gestures a crock of shit, you know what I would like to get more than a bunch of flowers? Change the oil in my car, do it with your own two hands and you will impress me. Thats a real gesture, a gesture of your time and real thoughtfulness. Everything else is just bullshit icing and posturing, in my humble opinion mind you.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-17 16:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks Juls! So, I assume you aren't married?
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-17 15:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SgtHartman its alright dude, you're already lost to us. Carry on and good luck with the proposal.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-17 15:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW im a fat guy and I approve this post.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-17 15:22:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-16 23:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn juls just cause im a little romantic with my special lady im ghey? damn some of the people on this site are more jaded than previously thought...
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Dude I know this sounds harsh but its for the best that you get this out of the way now, reread what you wrote about what your plans were for asking your girlfriend to marry you....it's ok I will wait....now, when you read it did you feel one of your balls drop down the side of your pant leg and hit the ground? No? yeah thats bc she already has them in a mason jar next to her bed.
but seriously best of luck.
Im not jaded, I just limit watching chick flicks to when Im on the rag. :-)
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So wait a minute, because I want to propose in a nice way she has my balls in a jar? Why dont I get this? how should I do it? How about I wait until im nailing her in the ass and then choke her out, then I'll stuff the ring in her nose and scream MARRY ME BITCH. Come on Juls, I'm a manly sort that likes to pamper my woman, she doesnt have my balls in a Jar, I actually love her!
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2007-07-17 13:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shmack92 (user info) at 2007-07-17 10:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hooray for opression against fat people
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-07-17 08:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polkadot (user info) at 2007-07-17 05:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was quiet funny
but your right
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As opposed to loud funny?
But YOU'RE an idiot.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-07-17 08:07:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-llo?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-llo!
I need to use Le Toilet!
Submitted by polkadot (user info) at 2007-07-17 05:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was quiet funny
but your right
and fat people get pissed off at anyone while their driving
moral of this story: never walk in front of a car with a fat person driving when crossing the road
they will surely run you over
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-07-17 04:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I saw a door ajar in my flats then I'd assume that a bunch of bad sorts had broken in and subjected the tenant to unspeakableness. I'd feel duty bound to make sure the occupant was safe and take a look inside.
I wouldn't, of course, because I'd also assume the bad sorts were still in there defiling the place and waiting to ruin any intrepid, would-be, hero who might poke his nose in beyond the door frame.
I'd probably have a jolly good listen though. Is that allowed, do you think? Is that a faux pas? I mean I could be hearing muffled cries and general activity, come bursting in with a terrified look on my face and trying to wield a bic biro in an intimidating fashion, only to be confronted by the sight of my next door neighbour strapped down to the coffee table with a ball gag in her mouth whilst some anonymous guy scrubs her privates with a sponge drenched in yogurt.
Forever afterwards my joy in doing the washing up would be ruined. It just doesn't seem worth it.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-17 03:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well yes it was an amusing ditty.........
I really think you are so right about women, I would of possibly stood open mouthed and looked shocked, but really not of done anything and if I had been there on my own I would of let her use the toilet and possibly had a wander round for a bit.
Women can be soooo macho.....
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-17 03:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what a story.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-07-17 00:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-07-16 23:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like some sort of retard zoo to me. You need to move.
--
It's called Quebec.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-16 23:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn juls just cause im a little romantic with my special lady im ghey? damn some of the people on this site are more jaded than previously thought...
-----------------------------------------
Dude I know this sounds harsh but its for the best that you get this out of the way now, reread what you wrote about what your plans were for asking your girlfriend to marry you....it's ok I will wait....now, when you read it did you feel one of your balls drop down the side of your pant leg and hit the ground? No? yeah thats bc she already has them in a mason jar next to her bed.
but seriously best of luck.
Im not jaded, I just limit watching chick flicks to when Im on the rag. :-)
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yea...I hate niggers too.
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Phat picture of the Spice Girls
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i live downtown
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Where the hell do you live that when you leave the door open people just walk up and look inside? Do all the people that live near you suffer from some incurable curiosity disease or something?
I mean who the fuck just saunters up to a strange open door, walks in, and exclaims that they want to take a piss?
Sounds like some sort of retard zoo to me. You need to move.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn juls just cause im a little romantic with my special lady im ghey? damn some of the people on this site are more jaded than previously thought...
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:48:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when i was young, fat kids were exceptions in my class. now being chubby seems to be the mediane.
--
I never thought of that before, but by christ, you're right.
I hate seeing little kids, like under ten years old, that are fat as fuck. If they CHOOSE to be lazy fat fucks later in life so be it, but when they are small parents should whip their asses until they run out the door and down the street to play with their friends.
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my sister is guilty of this. She sits on her fat ass all day, and her kid does the same thing. Then she calls her daughter fat and tells her she needs to lose wieght, while never leaving the couch and eating ben & jerrys. I told her kid to go outside and play and she said "I dont waaaaaaaaant toooooo. AVATAR is coming on! " Fat people piss me off.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when i was young, fat kids were exceptions in my class. now being chubby seems to be the mediane.
--
I never thought of that before, but by christ, you're right.
I hate seeing little kids, like under ten years old, that are fat as fuck. If they CHOOSE to be lazy fat fucks later in life so be it, but when they are small parents should whip their asses until they run out the door and down the street to play with their friends.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:39:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know that one on the right isn't really all that ba--
oh shit...the illusion works.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Niagara is definitely the place to do it. Do it at night when they shine the lights onto the falls...it adds to the romantic effect.
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actually I was thinking about doing it by the falls at night! i'll have her turn towards the falls to take a picture and when she turns around i'll be on one knee waiting. She's gonna melt.
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Nice, yeah night time is the best time to do it. The falls are lit up and its spectacular.
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I hate to be a dick but...
what the ghey?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuckin weird, man.
From what I've heard, thre aren't supoosed to be ANY fat people in Canada, you all being so much healthier then us American slobs.
===
there are a lot of fat people here too (ontario is jsut as bad as the US i think) just less statistically and to the same extent individually.
according to the cbc, i live in the most thinner province/state and more locally, in the medium-large city as well. that's not what i see when i see teenagers who all have love handles hanging out their tight jeans at age 13.
when i was young, fat kids were exceptions in my class. now being chubby seems to be the mediane. a frenchman once told me that the only place to find women with decent shapes on this continent was in areas with second-class welfare people, and god knows we have a lot of those :-P
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuckin weird, man.
From what I've heard, thre aren't supoosed to be ANY fat people in Canada, you all being so much healthier then us American slobs.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the best time to propose is while you're taking a shit and your gf is brushing her teeth (if you're that kind of couple)...TOTALLY MARGINAL
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This doesnt happen until you have been married for a few years already.
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I believe I will save that for after we have been married for some time.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are you letting Americans near your residence?
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the best time to propose is while you're taking a shit and your gf is brushing her teeth (if you're that kind of couple)...TOTALLY MARGINAL
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This doesnt happen until you have been married for a few years already.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by URNVUS (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
0.000001% chance that a group of niggers invade your home and gang rape you.
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Plus two just for that line alone. Good job Caul.
You random bastard.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's really weird.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1 - What the fuck, Caul... who the hell thinks an open apt door is an invite to piss? Fucking weirdo bitch.
2 - That picture is terrible. Utterly terrible. Thank you.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-07-16 15:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fat people are more disgusting than smokers.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Niagara is definitely the place to do it. Do it at night when they shine the lights onto the falls...it adds to the romantic effect.
=======================
actually I was thinking about doing it by the falls at night! i'll have her turn towards the falls to take a picture and when she turns around i'll be on one knee waiting. She's gonna melt.
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Nice, yeah night time is the best time to do it. The falls are lit up and its spectacular.
======================
I know we were there last year around the same time, I cant wait, so you're canadian sunny?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. I will be going to Niagra Falls in about 3 weeks (Canadian side of course) and I will be proposing to my woman there. I only tell you this because I wanted your opinion (being a Canadian) of that area. Do you hate it with a passion? Or is it fun to go on a vacation as it is for me? """
i went to niagara fall when i was a kid and it's not exactly my area. i live closer to the US than there so i have no idea.
wait...did u just call me an ontarian? :-(
When exactly are you going to be there, Frenchy?
I'll be at the Niagara Falls Casino on Thursday, August 9, for 5 or 6 hours of poker playing hijinks...if all goes well with our travel plans.
We can make out.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the best time to propose is while you're taking a shit and your gf is brushing her teeth (if you're that kind of couple)...TOTALLY MARGINAL!
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Niagara is definitely the place to do it. Do it at night when they shine the lights onto the falls...it adds to the romantic effect.
=======================
actually I was thinking about doing it by the falls at night! i'll have her turn towards the falls to take a picture and when she turns around i'll be on one knee waiting. She's gonna melt.
--------------
Nice, yeah night time is the best time to do it. The falls are lit up and its spectacular.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Closer to the US? the falls are right at the border..."""
NY state and Vermont are barely an hour away from Montreal (+2 hours in QC city). Niagara is a 6 hours + drive from Mtl.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Niagara is definitely the place to do it. Do it at night when they shine the lights onto the falls...it adds to the romantic effect.
=======================
actually I was thinking about doing it by the falls at night! i'll have her turn towards the falls to take a picture and when she turns around i'll be on one knee waiting. She's gonna melt.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:25:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. I will be going to Niagra Falls in about 3 weeks (Canadian side of course) and I will be proposing to my woman there. I only tell you this because I wanted your opinion (being a Canadian) of that area. Do you hate it with a passion? Or is it fun to go on a vacation as it is for me? """
i went to niagara fall when i was a kid and it's not exactly my area. i live closer to the US than there so i have no idea.
wait...did u just call me an ontarian? :-(
=================
hehe certainly not, just a canadian in general. Closer to the US? the falls are right at the border...
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Niagara is definitely the place to do it. Do it at night when they shine the lights onto the falls...it adds to the romantic effect.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
P.S. I will be going to Niagra Falls in about 3 weeks (Canadian side of course) and I will be proposing to my woman there. I only tell you this because I wanted your opinion (being a Canadian) of that area. Do you hate it with a passion? Or is it fun to go on a vacation as it is for me? """
i went to niagara fall when i was a kid and it's not exactly my area. i live closer to the US than there so i have no idea.
wait...did u just call me an ontarian? :-(
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The one in pink is so fighting in a different weight class.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
incidentally we don't have that problem in ontario
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thats cuz michael moore went to toronto suburbs in his documentary and said that people could lock their doors with no problem and we all know that what moore does is an integral representation of reality.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 14:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait, why the fuck were they all trying to use your bathroom?
all because your door was open? is that some universal signal in Canada that my house is a public shitter?
I just dont get why this happened
===
me neither.
when i see an open door, it doesn't mean i can hop on people's property and barge into their home. i've honestly never seen this before but to be honest, i fucking hate the people in this new city i moved in (Quebec City). they speak as if they lived in a cosmopolis cuz they have an inferiority complex only rivalled by canadians but they are fucking nosy, like rural christians who will come knock at your door to ask you why you weren't at Church.
if you cross someone in the street, that person will surely stare at you. if you're talking with soemone in a public area, people will surely listen to your conversation. if i'm in the bus with grocery bags, they look at your bags to see what you got in there. if you go pass a terasse, all the restaurant customers will stare at you. if you work out, you will surely 2-3 morons staring at you while you do your exercises...etc...
it's horrible...at first i thought i was paranoid but i swear, i fucking hate this place. i'm making good money so i'm milking this cow and i'm leaving this boring civil servant city.
/rant
====================
Goddamn that sounds like the 10th circle of hell. I just spent the weekend in Brooklyn NY and I'll tell you what, for a Pennsylvania guy, that place was absolutley awful. Its not just that everyone lives right on top of each other intermingling like pigs, its the smell. The plac just stinks to high heaven man. Well Caul good luck with all that, P.S. I will be going to Niagra Falls in about 3 weeks (Canadian side of course) and I will be proposing to my woman there. I only tell you this because I wanted your opinion (being a Canadian) of that area. Do you hate it with a passion? Or is it fun to go on a vacation as it is for me?
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
incidentally we don't have that problem in ontario
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gold Caul, gold.
Submitted by fuck_button (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fat people are so
fat.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, my english is falling apart.
imo do some work...for once.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bah!
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait, why the fuck were they all trying to use your bathroom?
all because your door was open? is that some universal signal in Canada that my house is a public shitter?
I just dont get why this happened
===
me neither.
when i see an open door, it doesn't mean i can hop on people's property and barge into their home. i've honestly never seen this before but to be honest, i fucking hate the people in this new city i moved in (Quebec City). they speak as if they lived in a cosmopolis cuz they have an inferiority complex only rivalled by canadians but they are fucking nosy, like rural christians who will come knock at your door to ask you why you weren't at Church.
if you cross someone in the street, that person will surely stare at you. if you're talking with soemone in a public area, people will surely listen to your conversation. if i'm in the bus with grocery bags, they look at your bags to see what you got in there. if you go pass a terasse, all the restaurant customers will stare at you. if you work out, you will surely 2-3 morons staring at you while you do your exercises...etc...
it's horrible...at first i thought i was paranoid but i swear, i fucking hate this place. i'm making good money so i'm milking this cow and i'm leaving this boring civil servant city.
/rant
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:46:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please...like fat people ever get up to do anything. If they did they would shower and stop smelling like wet peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good thing that Shlongy is around to teach you youngsters the secrets to successful 27 year relationships.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=%22dutch+oven%22
Just make sure you have a good grip on the sheets when you're pinning her underneath...she'll be kicking and screaming but DO NOT, under any circumstances, let her come up for air!
Or else you're a fag.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha @ Dutch Oven confusion.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dutch Oven = you fart under the blanket and then pull the blanket up over your significant others head so they can enjoy your aroma.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ask around...I'm SURE someone on Uber knows.
~~~
Well.....I'm AWARE of the terminology
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait, why the fuck were they all trying to use your bathroom?
all because your door was open? is that some universal signal in Canada that my house is a public shitter?
I just dont get why this happened
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't listen to him. The dutch oven is not buddies :(
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Trust me, if you "LOLed with glee", you will laugh your tiny nuts off if you administer the "Dutch Oven Treatment" to your chick.
Even the expression "Dutch Oven" makes me laugh.
If I even mention it to Mrs. Shlongy she chuckles like the slut that she is.
You don't know what it is?
Ask around...I'm SURE someone on Uber knows.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i went to urbandictionary.com...pls ignore my dumb review below.
i always confuse dutch with deutsch and i didn't even know a dutch oven was a casserole.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you! I followed your link to a good posting!
Damn you Court... DAMN YOU!!!!!!!
I hate it when fat chicks wear bikinis. It's like "She's NAKED!" and I'm immediatly attracted, just because the idea of nakedness is in my head.
Then I realize that she's not naked, just really fat. And that makes me sick to my stomach.
So then I end up being horny, and sick at the same time. Then I masturbate while crying.
But that's normal.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
2) Have you tried giving your girlfriend the ol' "dutch oven treatment"? They LOVE it.
===
i don't get it...she's not a jew and why would i burn her?
is this an anglo joke i'm not aware of?
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i had to pee :(
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:30:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy shit. I can't believe the balls of some people.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doesn't it freak you out when you're watching a movie and it's been dubbed into French, but the lips of the speaker and what they're saying don't match up?
===
we watch movies in their original version, depending if my gf understands or not. she has a problem with british and southern accents.
when you watch a movie dubbed in another language that you don't understand, of course it looks silly, but if you understand the language in which its dubbed...your ears are busy listening to the plot so you quickly forget about it and it doesn't impact the integrity of the movie all that much, depending on how well the dubbing as been done of course.
plus, if you live in a certain place and have never listened to movies in their original version, you get used to the voices attributed to actors to the point that it's almost weird to hear their real ones.
wow, that's a lot of long sentences with bad syntax.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't think this is coincidence as much as it is you probably just attract fat people naturally...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
3 questions, Caul:
1) Did you really "LOL"? Because that's gay.
2) Have you tried giving your girlfriend the ol' "dutch oven treatment"? They LOVE it.
C) What the fuck.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyway, as I was secretly touching myself under the sheets while watching Brandon Rout in his fit costume, we heard: "Allo...allo! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-llo!"
========
Goddamn that was funny.
~~~
I know, I snorted red wine out of my nose when I read that bit.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I lol'ed
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyway, as I was secretly touching myself under the sheets while watching Brandon Rout in his fit costume, we heard: "Allo...allo! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-llo!"
========
Goddamn that was funny.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loled
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doesn't it freak you out when you're watching a movie and it's been dubbed into French, but the lips of the speaker and what they're saying don't match up?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I got to gf and realized that you were lying already.
===
just assume it's a crossdressing guy...it works too.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:17:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bloody hell. Your girlfriend did what I would have done too.
Yuk
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2Caul
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I got to gf and realized that you were lying already.