Reflections on Mortality (871 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.64 on 66 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by coley (View user info) at 2007-07-16 16:05:48 EDT
I got a phone call on Friday. An early morning phone call on my day off; the kind of call that wakes you just enough that you listen with one ear to see if it's a bill collector or a wrong number or someone trying to sell you something. Turns out it was none of the above. I scrambled to untangle my feet from my disheveled bedsheets and stumbled to grab the phone, and got the news that another person had exited this world. A friend's daughter-in-law had died, at the age of 28, from an apparent aneurysm two days prior.
It's strange when you find out someone's passed days later. Suddenly it's a bit unsettling to realize that your life carried on, business as usual, while someone was mourning the loss of their daughter, sister, wife and friend. Seems to me like we should just know these things. Clocks should stop and time should freeze. But it doesn't.
Her husband is stationed in Iraq right now. She has spent the last year worrying herself sick about if he would come home okay, and now he's coming home in one piece..physically, at least; to make her funeral arrangements. I'm pretty sure that's not what our kindergarten teachers had in mind when they told us at the tender age of five that "life's not fair".
I started a new job last month. I'm currently working as a CNA at the local hospital on the medical unit. One week into things, I'd bodybagged two dead people and found another. Insert jokes about my poor medical care <here>. It's strange to go grab a plastic bag and put a stranger in it. Not something I'd really aspired to do; yet it's quite the experience..not that I'm suggesting you try this at home.
I had a rather long, intense conversation last night on the front porch of a friend's house about friends and family we have loved and lost. Two friends of mine passed away before the age of 21 under unrelated, unforeseen unfortunate circumstances, another at the age of 26 from melanoma, one committed suicide, and the guy I always bought lottery tickets from at the gas station by my old work died at the age of 28..from diabetes.
No rhyme or reason, no way to understand these things. Nothing to do but process and accept and reflect and move on.
I've come into a time in my life and a space in my head where I think I'm finally really starting to realize how fortunate I have been (and continue to be). Despite the daily frustrations and not-so-daily struggles as of late, I have been blessed to forge and maintain some amazing relationships with many amazing people.
I went to the bookstore the other day to load up on some reading; for it used to be such a huge part of my life before it got lost in the day-to-day. There was a book there called "Body of Work", about a woman who worked in a morgue, I believe it was..and how she developed what you could call a relationship with her first cadaver. I've always been fascinated by all things medical and biological; all of the things you can explain and define and illustrate. I've also always been fascinated by human nature; emotions and our (in)ability to control them..our actions and the paths our lives take and the connection between it all. There's something overwhelming about the way those two aspects of life are interconnected through the body, but worlds apart.
I went swimming in a waterfall yesterday.
The water was cold, and I'm not a very good swimmer, but I put one foot in and slowly eased my way in. Soon enough, the physical shock of the temperature change gave way to an overwhelming sense of peace. Staring at the water cascading over the rocks, and the clouds moving across the sky, I felt like maybe there is a way to connect the inner self with the outer; and I accomplished that yesterday for the first time in awhile. When I climbed out of the water and wrapped myself in a towel, I got in my car and turned on some music. I looked out the window at the passing scenery and soaked it up; and then I picked up the phone to call someone I love; because life is short and fleeting and entirely unpredictable..and while that's the beauty of it all, we never know what way things may go; and we're all in the same spot together, and completely alone...unless we reach out to connect with one another.
User Reviews
Submitted by vergedor (user info) at 2007-07-19 10:23:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
McKoy : "The connection felt by the author was his brain disengaging it`s time sense module. Losing the sense of time produces a feeling of euphoria, connection to the whole universe and enlightnment. This experience has been scanned on brains recently and shown on TV."
Spock : "Fascinating."
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-18 07:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
after the third time, don't you think you should stay away from water?
fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
- capn. james t kirk
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-18 06:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Life is a funny thing, but then agian so is death. I enjoy living. And the more times I come close to dying the more I enjoy it.
Lets see here, I've almost drowned at least 4 times. Came within arms length of a shark once. And nearly blown up twice since I've been in Iraq. So yeah, I've gone in slow motion 7 times now....
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-07-17 19:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-17 16:54:00 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
My friend, Julie Dwyer, she was gonna be on this TV Game show "truth or date", and my other friend T.S. Quint he told her that the camera makes you look fat. Well he didnt know in high school julie had the fattest ass. So she went to the Y, and just started doing laps.
well...in the middle of her 700th lap, an embalism in her brain popped and she died right there, mid back-stroke.
---
urban myth
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-07-17 19:26:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-17 11:54:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My friend, Julie Dwyer, she was gonna be on this TV Game show "truth or date", and my other friend T.S. Quint he told her that the camera makes you look fat. Well he didnt know in high school julie had the fattest ass. So she went to the Y, and just started doing laps.
well...in the middle of her 700th lap, an embalism in her brain popped and she died right there, mid back-stroke.
You never can tell with life.
Submitted by shmack92 (user info) at 2007-07-17 10:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
where have I heard this before?
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-07-17 09:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sometimes feel like I'm way too young to know so many people who have died. It seems like I should be an old person whose friends are dying off, not someone in their 20s who is losing people who are the same age.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2007-07-17 09:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My friends ex-girlfriend died of an anyeursm at 19 about a month ago and his father died of something or other only a couple monthes before that. He gives all the outward appearances of soldiering on, but you sort of wonder how long its going to last.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-17 09:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
look at it this way.
we are here for a short time, so make the best of it.
human life is a great gift as you are aware of your existence and and capable of choosing the path you take, unlike, say, an earthworm.
it would suck to be an earthworm, but you wouldn't know it. because you are an earthworm and don't have the time to think that there is more to life than eating dirt.
some of us on the other hand do think about what we do and what fulfills our need.
so fuck death, waste of time to think about it, think more on what kind of ice cream you will choose on a hot day and leave mourning of the dead when you have lived a full life.
unless the dead are your kids.
then life is truly not fair.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-07-17 07:12:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmmm, well written an' pretty deep.
I likes...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-17 03:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ubmitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:40:14 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
i toy with death all the time
when i have unprotected sex with ghey men
-----
Caul just made me spit my coffee onto my desk at work, not out of my nose or anything because that never happens. But Caul!!! You bum sex bandit.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-17 03:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dems some huge mamaries!
Hey which post am i looking at.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-17 02:57:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good reflection
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-07-17 00:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ANybody familiar with this song?
"
I'm still young, but I know my days are numbered
1234567 and so on
But a time will come when these numbers have all ended
And all I've ever seen will be forgotten
Won't you come
To my funeral when my days are done
Life's not long
And so I hope when I am finally dead and gone
That you'll gather round when I am lowered into the ground
When my coffin is sealed and I'm safely 6 feet under
Perhaps my friends will see fit then to judge me
Oh when they pause to consider all my blunders
I hope they won't be too quick to begrudge me
If I should die before I wake up
I pray that the Lord my soul will take but
My body, my body - that's your job
I can't be sure where I'm headed after death
To heaven, hell, or beyond to that Great Vast
But if I can I would like to meet my Maker
There's one or two things I'd sure like to ask"
Funny thing. I was thinking about death just the other day. I've always accepted it as a part of life, but I got to thinking. A certain reality hits you one day and you realize that there is nothing after that point. The point that your physical body stops functioning. We all sit around and hope there is. We all try to pray, some of us at the very last minute, that our god or any god for that matter will take us when we pass.
The fact remains that we just cease. Everything just goes blank. No regrets, no worries, no nothing. You won't even miss your family and friends. It won't matter anymore. Nothing will.
It sounds so very good and so very bad all at once.
In any event, I became a little depressed thinking about it.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-07-16 20:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2007-07-16 19:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF i'm not reading all that
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 19:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
INSPIRED BY YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU: http://www.ubersite.com/m/110196
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-07-16 19:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-16 18:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't really like your posts without camwhores.
Submitted by Void_Where_Prohibited (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice perspective.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love to sleep, loves it. It's in my top 5.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:42:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Death and tax assured
Life still seems good when you have
Skated off the leuk
This poetry shit is easy, dont see why everyones always all over Os junk...oh wait, teh sexxorz, thats right, shit.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten ton truck
Kill the both of us
To die by your side
Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hasn't death been done to "death" here already?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My pleasure....urrmm.....
.....cottage cheese ass.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:11:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THANK YOU DRAKE
my faith in internet strangers has been restored!
:D
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And no, I did not swim nekkid.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you bitch
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 17:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's the hate?
What's happened to the uber I used to frequent; full of insults and negativity?
MORRRRDOOOOOOOOOOR, GodChicken..I'm coming for your village with an axe and bloodlust!
love you too, V!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you, Nicole.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Every second we are alive we are that much closer to our own death.
---
I've been mulling over this lately. Thinking of lines in my head for something that I might write one day. About waiting to die. Blah.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:52:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you swim naked? I bet you swam naked. I like to think you swan naked, anyway.
Sorry about all the dead people and stuff.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:30:07 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Every second we are alive we are that much closer to our own death.
Unless yer a superhero.
---
Or shlongy....he's what...900 years old now?
---
Ancient spirits of Uber,transform this decayed form into SHLONG-RA, THE EVER GOLFING!
---
*pssst...hey spirits, can you make him taller too?*
---
**pssst... um, while yer at it maybe hook him up with some new material.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:30:07 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Every second we are alive we are that much closer to our own death.
Unless yer a superhero.
------
Or shlongy....he's what...900 years old now?
--------------
Ancient spirits of Uber,transform this decayed form into SHLONG-RA, THE EVER GOLFING!
----------
*pssst...hey spirits, can you make him taller too?*
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i toy with death all the time
when i have unprotected sex with ghey men
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:30:07 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Every second we are alive we are that much closer to our own death.
Unless yer a superhero.
------
Or shlongy....he's what...900 years old now?
--------------
Ancient spirits of Uber,transform this decayed form into SHLONG-RA, THE EVER GOLFING!
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ORCS AREN'T PEACEFUL, DEEP THINKING KIND OF CREATURES.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Every second we are alive we are that much closer to our own death.
Unless yer a superhero.
------
Or shlongy....he's what...900 years old now?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Every second we are alive we are that much closer to our own death.
Unless yer a superhero.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 13:09:44 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cleverness, JonnyX..however this was not at all meant to be depressing. Reflective, maybe...serious, certainly
---------
i guess my own reflections made me kinda bummed out - totally my issue babe, not you.
Quite frankly, if I am going to be doing any reflecting, it better involve ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon, blue eyeshadow, and the back seat of a 86 IROC-Z....
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was actually awoken this morning at 4 am to find that my wife's friend had died, after living with brain, spinal, and some other form of cancer. We have to attend the funeral this weekend.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nevermind, icks; I found it. thanks for the pointer.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ick: I didn't see my boobs in that..perhaps I scanned too quickly...
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently you've also gotten your boobs tied up in my uberdrama again: http://www.ubersite.com/m/110186
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Major difference between living and existing.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:19:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hhuhhuhuhhhuhhhuh
you said "insert".
huh.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a deep lady Coley my dear.
<insert homoerotic joke about being deep in ya>
funny. I missed the <insert joke> and was just about to make a joke about not making a joke about your deep woman comment.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm certainly not in a depressed mood; quite the contrary actually...just musing on the unpredictability of life and the way it is stopped in any way, at any time..and the amazingness that precedes that moment where energy is transferred.
I ain't no tortured soul! If I was, maybe I'd be better at playing the harmonica and singin' the blues...or I'd at least wear significantly more eyeliner.
Juls: HAR HAR DIRTY GURL!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-16 21:14:20 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a deep lady Coley my dear.
<insert homoerotic joke about being deep in ya>
------------
Id like to be DEEP INBETWEEN COLEYS BEWBS!
Jeez, sorry, I dont know where that came from...clets blame it on...chemo? No, too long ago...Space lizards? My trouser-brain?
Yessss...yes, blame the trouser-brain.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wouldn't say this was emo, the last couple of paragraphs were not so 'tortured soul'-ish.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a deep lady Coley my dear.
<insert homoerotic joke about being deep in ya>
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, scratch that; steak....I know I'll never be fully aware of everything..that's the beauty of it all.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:12:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
steak: I hope you ain't talkin bout me, kid.... :)
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people just aren't ever fully aware of everything.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Energy is transferred, energy is transformed..but it is never created or lost; it simply shifts and becomes part of another being, system or process.
TTOM: You still rock.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cleverness, JonnyX..however this was not at all meant to be depressing. Reflective, maybe...serious, certainly...but if boobs make you feel good about life, then reflect on them all you want!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Try nearly dying yourself to really give you perspective on life.
OH YEAH THATS RIGHT, I GOTS YOU ALL BEAT! (Except Catal, with whom I am equel)
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Death is transformation. There is no loss. We are reborn.
That is all.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:08:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
EEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOO
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-16 16:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks for the depressing montage...
If it's alright with you, I am going to think about your bounteous boobage instead...
...
...
...
AHHHHH MUCH BETTER