Flawed (366 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.75 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ripple (View user info) at 2007-07-17 10:45:58 EDT
The wall, Frank had noticed, was flawed. Perhaps due to poor craftsmanship, perhaps to poor care, but for whatever reason, a thin, jagged crack marred the gray drywall that peeked out from behind the white refrigerator. An ant crawled out of the crack with surprising speed. Frank's se, suspended in air, left a dusty print on the gray wall and a slight echo in the plain room. The ant was gone. Frank lifted the shoe again, poised for battle.
How oblivious he was to his bare surroundings— beige linoleum, gray walls, gray furniture, a soft, ambient hum from his empty white refrigerator— all seemed to blend together into a faintly patterned whirl as distant as the edge of the universe. For Frank, there was only crack. His entire existence consisted of the shoe and the crack and the ants... Ha! Killed another. At least 80 crumpled bodies littered the floor around The Fissure. Their pathetic, shriveled forms evoked neither pity nor disgust in Frank— he was busy preparing for the next assault.
With his blank brown eyes trained upon the Well of Evil, Frank sat motionless and ready to strike. Weak muscles in his bony arms were coiled; his posture was alert. Twenty minutes passed. Sixty. Three hours. The guard relaxed slightly . . . still nothing. He set the shoe quietly on the ground— no response. Frank backed slowly away from the crack, turning his back only after reaching the middle of the room.
In the moment that he cast his sight upon the opposing window, Frank whipped his head around to find— nothing. He ran up to the refrigerator, frantically stroked the gray drywall with the palms of his calloused hands. Smooth. Perfect. Flawless. Frank sank to the floor in horror as his body curled together protectively. He couldn't breath; the once infinitely blurry room was smothering him. Frank could feel the cracks, breaks and imperfections surrounding him, encompassing him, becoming him. And they were never truly in the wall.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-17 20:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Frank's se.....
WTF????
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-17 15:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this. Then again, if you look at my posts my writing is sub par.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2007-07-17 13:29:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-07-17 11:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-07-17 11:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm torn by posts like this... I mean.. you TRIED. I like how you were focusing on something small, getting into details and stuff. But it was still boring and a chore to read. Sorry.
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ive had horrible writers block for months. someone told me to try writing about something small. so, i did. i dont like things like this, either. meh.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2007-07-17 13:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't get this.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-07-17 12:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"There's a special circle of hell for those that denegrate the fairer sex. It is ruled by a giant Hog, with eyes like flaming tar and a constant erection like a railroad tie covered in fishhooks. And when a douchebag dies and descends to the Hog, he ends up with a brain-encrusted cloven hoof pressing his face into the dashboard of a 1978 Pacer, while that fiery hogdick cleaves his shitpincher like a rototiller through cream cheese. And after a month or two of this vigorous anal savagery, just as the douchebag thinks that his fate could be no worse, the Hog laughs - and wheels out a unicycle made of salt.
But until then, this douchebag is alive and well and ours to see. And that, my friends, is our own special hell."
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-07-17 11:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-07-17 11:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm torn by posts like this... I mean.. you TRIED. I like how you were focusing on something small, getting into details and stuff. But it was still boring and a chore to read. Sorry.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-07-17 11:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm torn by posts like this... I mean.. you TRIED. I like how you were focusing on something small, getting into details and stuff. But it was still boring and a chore to read. Sorry.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-07-17 10:51:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Uh...
Wha?
This must be too avant garde for me.
Still, it's put together well so +1 for you.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-17 10:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Have you ever read that JTHM comic where Johnny has to keep painting the wall with blood to stop the crack opening? That was better than this, but this wasn't too bad!