What the Hell? (710 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.76 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by QuinnTheEskimo (View user info) at 2007-07-20 08:03:44 EDT
Part two: http://www.ubersite.com/m/110229
You can get to the first one from there. This one is a little longer than those.
What the Hell?
I stepped through the broken gates of Hell, Norman close behind. To be honest, I had kind of an idea of what Hell would be, and this wasn't it. In my head Hell was dark and misty and had tortured souls kind of wandering around with no real direction. In truth, Hell is much more trite. Fires and bottomless pits. In the distance, I could see terrible monsters biting and stabbing each other. I looked back at Norman.
"You know," I said, "We don't really need to go in. I mean, we could easily just hang out outside for a while more."
Norman thought for a moment. "No. There definitely aren't cigarettes out there, but in here," He glanced around, "Who knows?"
We stood for a few minutes just inside the gate. "What do you think is happening?" I asked.
"No clue. It's not like I know what happens in hell. I'm no... Hellologist."
I smiled at him. "Okay."
Norman started walking and I followed him. We were following the wall to the left of the gate. Eventually a path became more well defined, and we walked it as it gradually descended.
"It's gonna suck walking back up this." I told Norman.
"I really don't think we're going to be coming back this way." He answered darkly.
I checked my watch. Norman caught me. "I don't know why you keep doing that." He said. "It's not like time has any meaning here."
I nodded, and took the watch off. I threw it as hard as I could, and watched it fall into a pit, into darkness.
Norman paused while it fell and said, "Good thing you threw that away. After all, 'Time is what keeps the light from reaching us.' Meister Eckhart said it."
"Never heard of him."
"He was a German philosopher." Norman told me.
"What's that?" I said. I thought I heard the girl's voice ahead of me.
"It's Greek for 'lover of wisdom.'"
"No, I think I hear the girl."
Norman and I began jogging, then running, and when the girl came into view we stopped. She was surrounded by three bird-like beasts, whom were taking turns stabbing her with stone-tipped spears in a smallish side cavern hidden from the main path. She was chained to a pillar. Although the cuts the monsters left on her were deep, they didn't bleed. Without hesitating, Norman charged at one of the creatures, trying to steal one of their spears.
He was thrown down immediately, and the bird-monster let out a victorious holler as it dropped it's spear into Norman's chest. However, the blow never landed. I jumped into the bird-monster's arms and managed to get a hold of the weapon. I turned and swung broadly at the other two. They jumped back to avoid my attack, but then began advancing towards me.
I deflected a blow that was aimed at my chest, and Norman was by my side again. He distracted one of the two bird-monsters that was still armed, and tore violently at it's eyes. When the creature was blinded, Norman stole it's spear and plunged it into the creature's torso. Then he turned and hurled the weapon at the final armed bird-monster, and the spear stuck out of it's back like a skewer.
I turned, anticipating the first bird-monster we had attacked, however, Norman was already there, stepping on the beast's neck, yelling at it. I ran to the girl, and tried to unchain her.
"Why didn't I die?" She asked.
"You're already dead, kiddo." I answered, hitting the chain as hard as I could with the spear, and getting now where.
She looked up at me as I stabbed the point of the spear into a link and twisted, breaking the chain. As soon as she was free she fell unconscious.
I turned to see Norman still stomping on the bird-monster's head.
"Is it dead?" I asked.
"Yes."
"What the hell, man? Seriously."
"I asked him," Norman said, gesturing to the dead bird-monster. "But I didn't get much, except that they captured the girl during the explosion and the chaos that followed."
"Did he say anything about that?"
"No, but he said something about his undying loyalty to Lucifer."
"The girl isn't bleeding." I pointed out.
"Of course not," Norman said, "She's dead. Why would she have blood?"
I sat quietly for a few minutes. "Are we immortal?"
Norman shrugged. "As far as I can figure, we are merely souls, and therefore, yes, we are immortal."
"Why not the demons?"
"I can't figure why they died, except maybe these are holy weapons, or were a long time ago."
I looked at the crude, wooden, stone-tipped spear. "Holy?"
"Leftovers from Lucifer's rebellion."
"That was a long time ago, though."
"Just a guess. You know anything else that kills a demon?" Norman looked at me seriously.
"Good point." I said. "Jesus, man, what are we going to do? I mean, where are we going to go, even if we get past everything in one piece?"
Norman shrugged. "I don't know anymore than you."
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-28 09:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-27 10:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-23 16:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-07-23 11:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Um, Quinn is my roommate in real life. He turned me on to uber actually.
Uh, I was logged on, we share a computer, he thought he was logged on, and he commented his own thing with a 0.
Sucks fo' him.
Funny shit.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-23 10:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-07-21 18:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I keep waiting for this to get cliché and shitty, but it hasn't so far, so more of this story needs to be had.
p.s. I told you so
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-07-20 20:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, they descended into hell looking for cigarettes?
I'd remove that and replace with something along the lines of "Whatever's down there can't be worse than waiting".
The cigarette line seemed too trite for the serious story you've set up thus far.
Either way, cool series = +2
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-07-20 18:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
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Dammit! I was going to do this, but start at "man".
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-20 17:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sir cowman
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-07-20 17:01:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what does "sc" mean?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-20 15:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 sc
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-20 11:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome story man, can't wait till the next part.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting, I look foward to another installment.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Um, Quinn is my roommate in real life. He turned me on to uber actually.
Uh, I was logged on, we share a computer, he thought he was logged on, and he commented his own thing with a 0.
Sucks fo' him.
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:04:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It better be
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry, more is on the way!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
neeet!
one helluva story...
hey! ouch! no need to kick.
assholes!
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really good but way to short man i need more. More god dammit!