Geek-Off Entry (589 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.8 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by A Little More Time (View user info) at 2007-07-20 18:28:20 EDT
Blah blah blah, one post per day, DIE.
Yeah, okay, great. I don't care. I just wanted to be the first one up on this, and besides, my GPF post was total crap (though it WAS my first one).
That said, submitted for your consideration...
-----------------------------------------------------
Frankthebear and the rest of y'all ain't got shit on my Nerd Cred.
Check the facts, yo:
1. I get every reference and cut away made on Scrubs. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
2. If I had a running crew, it'd be composed of Lord British, Professor Frink, and Data from The Goonies.
3. HAN SHOT FUCKING FIRST.
4. I've met Fred Gallagher, Jerry Holkins, and Mike Krahulik, all multiple times, and have many autographs. If you don't know who they are, GTFO.
5. The Final Fantasy series was better in its cartridge days.
6. I can explain The End of Evangelion. My mastery of anime is complete because of that single fact.
7. I've been gaming for so long that the guys that kick ass at Halo now were the same ones who beat the shit out of me way back when for playing Super Mario Bros.
8. My backpack's got jets. ( www.mcchris.com )
9. I'm the only person I know with a copy of Erik the Viking on a Region 1 DVD. How'd I manage that? It's a secret.
10. I've never cosplayed and I never will...because I could never do any character enough justice.
11. Akira Kurosawa > Steven Spielberg, Woody Allen, James Cameron, etc...
12. 01001001001000000110101101101110011011110111011100100000010000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001001011100010000001000100011011110010000001111001011011110111010100111111
13. "Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do! We do!"
14. Anyone who doesn't use Trillian shouldn't even be on a computer.
15. I beta-tested the new version of Napster. SPOILER ALERT: it sucked.
16. I have over 25,000 songs on my computer, all ripped from CDs (no downloading). They are all arranged in iTunes, alpha by artist, and sorted by sub-genre and year of release. Completing this task alone, with all the research involved, took me days.
17. I religiously blast "Klendathu Drop" from the Starship Troopers soundtrack before going to take a final exam. I have done this since my sophomore year of high school. Works every time.
18. I can find a quote for any situation just from Red Dwarf.
19. I can recite my favorite skit from Monty Python on demand. It is "How to Not Be Seen."
20. I can whistle any and all of "Weird Al" Yankovic's polkas from memory.
21. Joseph Heller's "Catch-22", while a horrible film, is perhaps the greatest piece of contemporary literature yet written. Douglas Adams would still win in a "ludicrous language only" fight.
22. The starships "Nostromo" and "Sulaco" from Alien and Aliens, respectively, are references to a Joseph Conrad novel.
23. I know that Bill Paxton is the only actor to ever be killed by both a Xenomorph and a Predator.
24. I don't pay for internet access. Haven't for a LONG while.
25. I have the following mutant powers:
A) Can only dance to the Shaft theme...but can do it VERY well.
B) Can answer the door/phone abnormally quickly despite any circumstances.
C) Able to kill any conversation by finding the most inappropriate comment and interjecting with it at the perfect moment.
THERE. Who doubts my geekdom?
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!
User Reviews
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-07-22 21:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't remember writing that review or what it means.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-07-22 21:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's nothing geeky about thinking "Catch-22" is a masterpiece of literature.
Right?...right?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-07-22 17:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
didn't bill paxton get killed by the terminator too?
Submitted by ammali (user info) at 2007-07-21 11:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
01011001011001010111001100101110001000000100011101110010011001010110000101110100001000000111000001101111011100110111010000100001
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-07-21 11:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So who wants a kick-around?
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-21 11:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
,
_cc,
'.())(((c
(((((()(c
'(((('_ _'
`((( \
(`\ -
' ) ( __
_.-' ' `.
/ , -' \
L ` .
\ / ` |
`c ) c ) J
.\__. `---': |
\__ \, | L
/`\\\> L |
/ / J
L c ' /
\ / /\
\-.__.' .' .
|`-___.'
a:f : `8P /
: .' /
` / .'
/ .'
. .'
L '
\` `
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-21 09:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
3. HAN SHOT FUCKING FIRST.
-----------
*nods*
Although Lance Henriksen gets "killed" by an Alien (Aliens) and a Predator (AvP) but I'll let you off.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-07-21 07:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Romeo is WAY sadder than you. By fucking Miles.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-21 07:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There is nothing brag worthy about being a geek.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-07-21 06:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bounty hunt for Jabba Hutt
To finance my 'Vette.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2007-07-20 23:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
01100100011011110111001001101011
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-07-20 21:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WINNAR
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-20 19:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nerd =/= Geek
Nerds are a breed that carry Texas Instruments TI-81 calculators to math class and eagerly scribble down notes only to run to their next class with that constant bead of sweat on their forehead that just screams "I'M EAGER TO LEARN".
Geeks play world of warcraft and drink mountain dew.
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2007-07-20 19:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
han did shoot first +2
eek.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-20 18:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WOW. YOU ARE ONE PROUD DORK!
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-07-20 18:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(sigh)
Fine, you're a geek.
Happy now?
...geez, I didn't even understand half of what you wrote...
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2007-07-20 18:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd say we're off to a good start