America, The Beautiful Democratic Propoganda Machine or Just The Propoganda? (627 hits)
Category: Politics -> DemocratsRating: -0.08 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gwenwyvar (View user info) at 2007-07-24 11:09:37 EDT
I was sitting there watching the Youtube/CNN sponsored democraptic presidential debate last night and was thinking to myself. Actually, I had the debate on in the background while I was vigorously masturbating to some new http://www.newsfilter.org (NSFW) pornography and I was thinking, "hey, what if I ever got really fucked up somehow, like per say an accident, and I had to shit through my dick. I bet that would be uncomfortable. Would my dick be powerful enough to cut off the stream when I was done in order to not necessitate a wiping or would I need to wipe my dick? Then came the beautiful quip from the candidate with a vagina while asked a question about how the candidates would handle diplomacy issues with countries such as North Korea, Iran, Syria, Cuba, and Venezuela.
First, I must commend FullofCrap Obama, and it plagues me to do this, on his non-pussy response that within his first year of presidency he would enter these countries willingly in attempts to establish a relationship, showing the oppressed what America is after--stealing your exports and whoring your children to Christian Children Network, headed by the reincarnated Tammy Faye--in hopes to open up peace talks. The only reason I'm giving him credit is because everyone else on the stage had their dick in there watch pocket, Rodham included, saying that entering these other countries would be a propaganda movement.
You think, assholes? Do you really think that establishing a cohesive relationship with Cuba in order for me to get cigars--this is personal, afterall--or Venezuela just to use for oil and as a contact for Iran is going to be a propaganda issue? I'm not a politician but I can see clearly through the plastic wrap that you are holding up. It's going to be a propaganda movement even if you decide to send out convoys beforehand in attempts to find out what relationship could be established. I've determined that they are all pussies. As a matter of fact, you are all pussies...accordingly.
Let's break this down by country for everyone to see:
North Korea
Kim Jong-Il is a cowardly piss basin who uses complete authoritarianism to his benefit. I bet he has a small cock, too. I say this not because I believe he is having complex issues, but because he is Asian, and as we all know, Asians have small ding-a-lings. The problem with this prick is that he DOES indeed have the wool over the sheep's eyes. People are fucking blinded over there as to what actually happens in the world outside they're cozy tree hut. Let's not forget to mention that the payload of nukes this reprehensible chicken wanger has is enough to piss off countries around the world, including the crooked tooth members of parliament (That's your only shot-out, you fucking scumbags. Just kidding, we love you guys). Truth be told, this guy is a feisty teabagee who operates a militant country which is just snarling, foaming, chomping at the bit ready to team up with another parrot country in hopes of mass domination.
It is in our best interest to befriend this country, invite them to share their rice with us, offer us they're 12 year old daughters while we vacation there, and hopefully and eventually garner a secure business oriented (oriental) relationship. Let's be honest, we don't want to get too chummy with the gooks, for fuck's sake, every Ford and Chevy owner already hates them.
Iran and Venezuela
I'm grouping these two together because let's get it straight, who the fuck worries about Venezuela (a), and (b) the only reason they have a problem with us is because they see the economic ties that the oil embargos in addition to a mutual, perhaps even mock, hatred towards the U.S. could do for them. Venezuela and Iran share one thing in common that the whole world would suck the dick's clean of each other's shit for and that is oil. Earlier this month, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez bailed Iran out when they offered petrol to the towel heads because their fuel was being rationed and is now a demi-god. With the common hatred for bush, these two faggot countries should be good at sucking each other off.
It is in my professional opinion (University of Homeschool, Ph.D) that we should see if we can suck some cock too, because face it; we aren't becoming any less dependent upon oil based fuels. We fucking wash in the shit, literally. As far as military powers, Venezuela and Iran own a few boats, a couple tanks, a ship or seven but nothing really serious enough to pose a threat, but everyone knows that black gold is in our future for at least 50 years. Hopefully by then we can figure something else out, like cars that run on vegetable oil, or corn extract. That'd be really neat, wouldn't it? We could call it "biodiesel."
Cuba
Pffft. I just farted. That's what'll happen when Castro dies. This country is like the little lap dog that yelps and yips until you pull it out of a car window and throw it into moving traffic. I've already said too much about this country.
Who cares what we do with this country, I just want some REAL La Gloria Cubanas.
Syria
Syria is another country that I could just as easily lump in with Iran except they lack anything that U.S., or any other country for that matter, wants. They do however, have an excess of crazy mother fucking, and I mean the craziest of them all people. You could argue and say that the suicide bombers are crazy, but I'll counter you with the fact that they are just plain stupid lemmings. Syria however, has ties to Lebanon, Iran, Iraq and all the other crazy countries. Bashar Assad, Syria's President, goes far beyond just the local region. He has a steady flow of money coming in from the trafficking of weapons, bombers, etc. Seriously, they are crazy enough to shit their pants and finger paint the walls with it.
This is one scenario that I would actually encourage troop support for assistance. Fuck, eventually they can help the U.S. launder things through Damascus as well. They don't lack the ability to stop this from happening, they lack the intention. We would be there merely as an extra set of eyes to oversee the proper exercise of operation and to make sure that our covert operations are getting handled as well.
Clearly if you made it to this point in the post, you realize that I have the sex drive of Bon Jovi and must go make babies.
Bonus: Why did they take the Steve Irwin sunscreen off the shelves? It didn't block the rays.
User Reviews
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-26 16:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had this Chinese teacher who taught a Chinese class, and everytime she'd add an assignment she'd say "one MORE thing," so it would be like "Your assignment today is for to do pages 1 through 75. Don't get up. One more thing, you are to do review on page 76. One more thing, I want you to write your grocery list entirely in Chinese."
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-26 16:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And again.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-26 16:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One more time.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-26 16:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-26 16:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, I meant this.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-26 16:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OH NO! GENERAL LEE FISHCAKE!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-24 22:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just went out and bought The Monster Squad on DVD today.
I'd never seen it before.
It was AWESOME. Have a +2 for that.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by gwenwyvar (user info) at 2007-07-24 13:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hopefully you forgive me :(
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I certainly won't be, slag.
Submitted by gwenwyvar (user info) at 2007-07-24 13:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-24 13:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
they're there and thier are all DIFFERENT words with DIFFERENT meanings.
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Sorry, I must've forgotten that everyone is perfect on this site. I'll try to clean up my act and stupidity as soon as possible, because it's not like I could possibly know the difference.
Hopefully you forgive me :(
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-24 13:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
they're there and thier are all DIFFERENT words with DIFFERENT meanings.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-07-24 13:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And i did smile.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2007-07-24 12:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey I laughed.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2007-07-24 12:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
When Castro dies, Cuba is going to be Las Vegas 2.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-07-24 12:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propaganda
triple A , por favor.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I actually found this entertaining. But, you very well might be an alter so no +2 for you.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've read worse. You actually typed whole words. Uber is being reborn!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The picture sucked though.
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
11 minutes second time round, slag. Tripe.
Submitted by gwenwyvar (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:23:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I seriously doubt you read it between the time I posted that comment and the time it took you to rate. I was just curious...if it's shit, then it's shit.
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've fuckin' read it now, it's still bollocks.
Slag.
Submitted by gwenwyvar (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did either of you empty canteens read this?
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:17:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*flush*
go swirling down the drain, alter.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Toby Anstis?
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-07-24 11:15:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Did not read. -2.