Song to Story Challenge (599 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by . (View user info) at 2007-07-24 14:17:30 EDT
"Happy Birthday to you!"
Man, these people can't fucking sing. Yeah, that's right. I'm looking at you, you fucking Mariah Carey Whitney Houston wannabe. Adding nineteen extra syllables to the word 'you' while making sure to turn your beast-like caterwauling to maximum volume is REALLY the way to make this gem of a tune sound great. Absolute shit. Stupid cunts.
"Happy Birthday to you!"
And that cake? That cake looks like fucking shit. You asked me what kind of cake I wanted and I distinctly remember saying 'chocolate'...not 'slathered in diarrhea'. What the fuck? How am I going to force myself to choke a few bites of that down? Jesus Christ...
"Happy Birthday dear Matt,"
Alright, I'm seriously going to explode if I have to deal with another second of this crap. Do they really think I want to sit here and listen to them shit this garbage out of their fat fucking mouths? Staring at me vacant eyed...drooling for some of that Crisco laden icing and cardboard flavoured 'cake'? Yeah! Of course I'd love to have a little get together with you guys! Nooooooooooooooooooooo...why would I want to do something else? Grabbing a few drinks at the tittie bar on my birthday? Preposterous! Banish the thought. Here with all of you is where I want to be.
If I gnaw this thumb off, maybe I can excuse myself ...?
"Happy Birthday to you"
Almost done. Thank you God. But if someone says, 'And many more.' I'm going to fucking stab them.
"AND MANY MOOOOOORE"
"AAAIIIIEEEEEERRRRGHGHHHHEEEEEIGH..."
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...And then the cake was covered in blood and nobody had to eat it.
The End.
(uber contests are SOOOO early 2007. get with the times chaos-king.(note correct spelling of the word 'chaos'))
User Reviews
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-02-20 13:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
needs more bats
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-20 12:37:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
omg, simon, you're so edgy!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-20 12:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/16412
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-20 11:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes repetition can enhance a story.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-25 08:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-24 22:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just went out and bought The Monster Squad on DVD today.
I'd never seen it before.
It was AWESOME. Have a +2 for that.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-07-24 20:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All that stabbing sure was a nice change of pace from all of those stab-less posts on the front page.
stabStabsTab
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Rob has a thing for TheUniter and its faux objectivity.
=P
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:50:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
with boobs and a vajayjay? man, i hear that those are really neat.
alright. my guess is...Circe.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You mean like a real life girl? Because that would be hot.
---
Yup, thats my guess.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You mean like a real life girl? Because that would be hot.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think TheUniter is a girl.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was delightful.
You ungrateful fuck.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
see, The_Uniter hates forced birthday interaction too. Good man, The_Uniter, good man.
I was going to try and make an alter called The_Divider and just go around doing opposite of whatever you did, but I never got around to it. Also it would have felt really gay after about the first review, so WOOO ME for forgetting/not caring enough to do it in the first place.
Man, I'm really very cool.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I adore you...
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you made Jack sputter. not sure if that's good or what. he kinda seems happy about it so let's go with that. Nice Job SCOURGYPOO YOU MADE JACK SPUTTER!@!! WOO!!!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
beautiful work of art.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i am, however, still laughing at my thumbing of my nose at chaos-ching.
--
*sputters*
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking hilarious
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this again and I still laughed.
WHY?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but what did you all think of all the stabbing? it was my homage to how creepy and macabre chaos is. he is dark and cool. and his beaded necklace is the envy of all the ladies.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm kicking myself for posting this under the wrong account.
i am, however, still laughing at my thumbing of my nose at chaos-ching.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was beautiful man.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
True story.
I'm usually distracted at other people's birthdays by the fact I'm expected to eat cake some slob just wheezed some spittle all over.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:26:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B&W
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:25:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey, scourge.
This amused me.
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:19:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was actually awesome. Wish I'd thought of that.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-07-24 14:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK. logged in on the wrong account.
bad self. bad.