bedroom fire works (527 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.75 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sharps <joesephsharps.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-07-25 10:24:49 EDT
Last night, I was doing the sleeping thing- feet wrapped up in the sheets, dreams of a pretty girl in my head, a little drool coming from the corner of my mouth. I was in that hazy, comfortable zone before REM. Five seconds later, I'm swearing like a sailor- or more accurately, like my mom who's married to a sailor and raised to brigand children.
There was a loud popping sound in my room, which had my eyes open and arm raised defensively with impressive speed (hum, learned reflexes from childhood, or that crazy chick in Iowa?). I'm glad I had my arm up, as sparks were raining down on me from the ceiling fan.
Somehow, a wire bridged the positive and negative, giving me this pretty light show. At two in the morning, half groggy, I wasn't the most appreciative critic. I think I peeled paint with my vulgilarity.
The show was short lived, but I was up and looking for fires in one hot (ha-ha) second. I shut off the light/ ceiling fan switch to be safe. While grabbing a flashlight to assess the situation, one of my roommates stormed into the kitchen. "dam breaker blew, Joe."
"No ---- ----- ----- Shit!" I stated. While he was flipping breakers, I launched into a colorful recount of my night thus far- Well minus the whole girl wearing a zebra costume dream. Then I went to check for damage.
"Ah, I'm sure it's a bug or something," he replied, walking into my room.
And then he flipped the switch on.
The fan spewed out another bloom of sparks before blowing the breaker again. Of course, I was right underneath it, and was treated to that oh so swell feeling of hot sparks on skin and a game of "am I on fire?"
"mother----- ------ ------, I'll Skull---- ------- and then ----- , ohh, and then ------- ------ ----. You'll need a ----- spoon to dig out the ----- teddy bear!" I screamed.
"Shit," said the roommate looking up at the ceiling fan, " does it always do that when you turn it on?"
I just stared at him. Without a word, I pushed past him to have a much needed cigarette on the porch.
A few drags in, I had to start laughing. I've never had fireworks In the bedroom by myself before.
User Reviews
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-26 13:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for the holy fucking huge picture batman
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-07-25 15:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not everyone cares about the quality of their photographs. That said, yours still could've used a bit of resizing.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-25 14:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You write about as well as you operate a camera. You could take a class in photography and one in basic writing theory. Here's the thing, though; there's no class you can take to make you not an idiot. Perhaps for you, there is myspace. Much more forgiving, much lower expectations.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-07-25 14:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-25 13:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was bad in so many ways, I don't know where to begin.
I THINK MAYBE I'LL BEGIN WITH THE GIANT FUCKING PICTURE.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-07-25 13:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fail
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-25 13:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did Barold give away his username? He's not acting like himself.
what are you talking about HE? I am me and only me.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-07-25 12:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This earns an elusive -1.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-25 12:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Adorable Kodak moment below.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-07-25 11:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
goddamn motherfucking shitstick flaming faggot ass
SEE?! NO CENSORSHIP! DON'T BE A FUCKING PUSSY.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did Barold give away his username? He's not acting like himself.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
What's your picture of, Biollante? Christ.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Alter.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats a big ass flower.
I hate the smell of ass flowers they are so well named.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
opened
scrolled
eyes exploded at sight of enormous whatever the fuck it is
clicked rate button
select -2
rank
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
------- ----- ------- ------?
This website does not have a pg-13 rating...
yeah that was kind of my fucking point in my first fucking review.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
------- ----- ------- ------?
This website does not have a pg-13 rating...
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:30:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whatever the fuck is in that picture is fucking GIGANTIC!!!
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
First time a .jpg made my eyes bleed.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-25 15:28:13 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
flower pic is way to small, i can barely see it.
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*ejaculates*
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
flower pic is way to small, i can barely see it.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-25 10:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
------- ----- ------- ------?