How to look like an asshole without even trying (539 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.39 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Buttplug (View user info) at 2007-07-27 04:17:09 EDT
Now I'm not an exceptionally good writer but bare with me. I hope you enjoy this true story as much as uhh...well...as much as you'd enjoy something you'd enjoy.
The weather has been illegaly hot here for several weeks. Temperatures constantly above 110 kind of suck. But anyway my story is about something else. The day before yesterday it had rained and now the weather was perfect. So what to do but enjoy it with my sweetheart in the park. We laughed and imagined different approaches to killing babies etc. Then she gets a call from one her friends:
-What?
-*whispering*
-WHAT?
-*quick desperate whisper*
-When?
-(this time I could discern something among the lines of "doesn't matter, please just do it")
-*sigh* ok
So I ask if theres any problem. "No no, no problem". Ok so there was a problem. "We need to head for a drug store". Ok there was a big problem. Something for her friend. Ok this might be an interesting problem.
We get to the drug store and she tells me to wait outside. Oh come on, you wanna get condoms or birth control for her? It aint that bad! But anyway, I casually wait outside, hands in my pockets, looking around at people. She goes up to the counter and asks for something. Then it happens. As the nurse (or whatever drug store women are called) registeres her question she lookes towards the door and sees me waiting outside and gives me the mother of all killer looks. I mean it was like shooting a puppy in the face. She was the shotgun, I was the freakin puppy.
"What?" I think to myself. Did I do something?
As we walked away from the store I kept trying to find out what the problem had been. Thought she still wouldnt tell me, later that evening I overheard her telling another friend what she had just been asked to buy. And everything made sense. I had just looked like a complete irresponsible asshole, waiting outside like a coward while my girlfriend was asking for the morning after pill. It was 8 p.m.
Way to go...
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-29 12:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should of just posted one on Stoks drawings.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-07-29 01:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
We laughed and imagined different approaches to killing babies etc
______________
zomg u will fit in so well at uber welcome home FUCK OFF
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bare with you??
im not fucking taking my pants off you...
Eich
Oh
Emm
Oh
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-27 13:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why did you think I'd be interested in your Jerry Springeresque Mini-Drama?
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PLUS 2 FOR NOT PASSING ON YOUR GENES!
Lord knows there are too many idiots as it is.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-07-27 11:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
antidote - anecdote mix-up below.
DAMNIT!
Submitted by Geophillyx (user info) at 2007-07-27 11:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
honestly thanks, im glad when people can actually tell me whats wrong with something i do rather than just act smart about it. thing is ive always found it easier to portray something by dialogue rather than narrating the entire thing. anyways i found the little mishap funny, posted it to see if anyone else did. thanks for the critique!
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-07-27 11:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
antidote - anecdote mix-up below.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-27 09:35:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I usually just ignore this sort of post after reading it because I don't always know how to convey what I'm thinking but it comes down to this.
This "story" doesn't really go anywhere or do anything. i mean yeah, you related your little antidote but other than that.... it's not hought provoking, I didn't chuckle, i just kind of feel used. The everything in this post needs work or something.
so yeah. that's bout it.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-27 06:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-07-27 05:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now I'm not an exceptionally good writer but bare with me. I hope you enjoy this true story as much as uhh...well...as much as you'd enjoy something you'd enjoy.
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i refuse to read beyond this.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-27 05:54:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I've seen better, but I've seen much worse.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-07-27 05:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now I'm not an exceptionally good writer but bare with me. I hope you enjoy this true story as much as uhh...well...as much as you'd enjoy something you'd enjoy.
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i refuse to read beyond this.
Submitted by Geophillyx (user info) at 2007-07-27 05:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
me be 18
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2007-07-27 04:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm guessing you're not of age yet.
If you are, that's a rubbish story.
Did the girl get cooties?
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-27 04:35:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
....well that sucks. But your girlfriends buddy is a whore, and that's just funny.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2007-07-27 04:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bare with you?
No. -2.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-07-27 04:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
aww fuck...
Been there man...I will tell the story soon.