Manly Men (1572 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.27 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dude, thats BOSH! (View user info) at 2007-07-27 12:40:30 EDT
Real men don't cry. Real men don't bitch. Real men, men like me, don't give a fuck about shit. Men like me learn from their mistakes, then they make 'em again just because. Then they eat a 96 ounce steak and wash it down with a nice tall glass of buttery mashed potatoes. That's what real men do.
Real men, manly men, fix all their problems with elbow grease, beef jerky, and the American flag. Real men don't drive SUV's, real men drive Dodge trucks. Real men talk about Hemis, Angus beef burgers, and Pamela Anderson. Real men don't give two shits about World Cup soccer or Lance Armstrong. Real men boo Lance Armstrong. Real men have balls.
Manly men like me don't need women. Being manly is about not needin' shit. And womens is less than shit. Me? I jerk off to my reflection and I jizz lighter fluid. Know why? Cause I'm a real manly man.
Real men smoke Marlboro reds and ride wild stallions and drop kick rattlesnakes. Real men shave with chainsaws and guzzle Jim Beam and body slam elephants and throw special ed buses over mountains. Real men punt babies and break things. Real men eat grenades and shit mortar shells. Real men read Shakespeare. Then we laugh at how fuckin' queer it is. That's what real men do.
Real manly men don't do pilates or yoga or hee-cha kung fu fuck. Real men bench press cement trucks and hunt after grizzly bears with a moldy toothrbrush. Hell, I know this sumbitch Tom Jenkins did just that. Didn't come back alive. Died like a man though. More than I can say for you. Shit.
Know what I just did? Grew a beard. Yep. Took two seconds. Damn thing's down to my feet by now. Guess what now. Fuckin' shaved it.
Yeah. Pretty fuckin' manly. Probably goin' to the Hip Hugger later. Probably see you there. If you got the balls.
I ain't got nothin' else to say. Real men don't say much. Ya'll wanna find me, I'll be out in the middle of the street flexin' my muscles and talkin' Nascar.
Meantime, your candy ass got some stupid pansy questions for a real man? Best direct your mail to this here address theboshman.at.gmail.com...if you got the balls.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-30 14:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-08-01 17:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its a creed to be shared with all man kind.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-08-01 17:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I stole this.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-07-30 16:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i considered that but then i figured that even mentioning that faggot in the body of my post would take away a lot of the manliness
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real men also kick the crap out of Earl Scruggs, you forgot that part.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110574#2486586
this post was useful in an important situation, +2222222
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-07-30 08:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-27 09:44:49 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You had me mesmerized until I read this:
I'll be out in the middle of the street flexin' my muscles and talkin' Nascar.
Nascar? Are you serious? Come on boshman, you can do better.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-30 08:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Real men drive truks maybe, but an el camino with a road rashed harley in the bed is the ride of a real cool man!
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-07-29 23:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed in real life. +2s across the board Bosh. This was good.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-29 16:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-29 12:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real men don't post about real men.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-07-28 22:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-07-28 11:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-07-28 00:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Real men drive BMW's, have giant cocks, make tons of money, fuck scores of women, catch bullets in their teeth, and are completely devoid of emotional weaknesses!
--
hmm
you are confusing real manly men with a bunch of faggots i think
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-07-28 00:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hidden101 below
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-07-28 00:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Real men drive BMW's, have giant cocks, make tons of money, fuck scores of women, catch bullets in their teeth, and are completely devoid of emotional weaknesses!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-07-28 00:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Manly!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-07-28 00:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Know what I just did? Grew a beard. Yep. Took two seconds. Damn thing's down to my feet by now. Guess what now. Fuckin' shaved it.
===
HOT
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-07-28 00:09:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is so manly I can actually smell it. It smells like feed corn and gasoline.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-07-27 17:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do manly men post pictures of dancing puerto ricans under the moniker of "Little Sally"?
cause if so, i'm a manly man too.
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2007-07-27 16:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you like Maddox, you'll love this!
Submitted by Echoes (user info) at 2007-07-27 16:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
real men rate this a +2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-07-27 16:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
manly men can shift tectonic plates with their truck
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-27 16:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
2003 GMC K1500, 4x4, 5.3L V8 w/Superchip, 4.10 gears and 31" tires. Mileage sucks but it'll climb trees or pull an island.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-07-27 15:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
manly men know their trucks.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-27 15:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2003 Ram 1500 QuadCab with some fuckin BFG's
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Check the red wire connection from the alternator/voltage regulator to the under-hood fuse panel. I've seen several Dodge pickups of that vintage that burned due to a loose connection there.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-07-27 15:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Manly men like ZZ Top, not Straycats. That's all I have to say. Dammit.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-07-27 15:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
real men aren't canadian.
Submitted by CrazyCanuck (user info) at 2007-07-27 15:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nascar = auto -2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
real men tell time by the amount of facial hair they have
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck yea
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2003 Ram 1500 QuadCab with some fuckin BFG's
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:40:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real men sexually assualt rattlesnakes
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
real men don't forget anything.
Submitted by candyfloss01 (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you forgot to mention that real men eat weeners
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
real men rate this a +2
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:13:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-07-27 14:01:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus. For a minute I thought you had gotten a hold of my resume.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-27 13:52:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, but a real man also smokes two and a half cartons at one time, in one inhale, without even coughing. Then he spits the tar blackened loogie out.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-07-27 13:32:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This reminds me, so much, of someone I used to go a'travelin' with...
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-27 13:12:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This isnt anywhere near as BOSH as usual
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-07-27 13:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-07-27 13:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We must be long lost brothers.
Let's keep it that way.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad, but not your best.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more Charles Bronson
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The guy who issues the gun permits in Florida is named Charles Bronson. True story.
Also: real men who talk about real Hemis wouldn't be caught dead in one of those faggotty new ones.
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:48:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Next time at least put some effort into it.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:47:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cliche is a word faggots use
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Cliche.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe that I'm doing this.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You had me mesmerized until I read this:
I'll be out in the middle of the street flexin' my muscles and talkin' Nascar.
Nascar? Are you serious? Come on boshman, you can do better.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
real men rate this a +2
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-07-27 12:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more Charles Bronson