How Harry Potter Should Have Ended (802 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -0.11 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by D "Seriously" Prime (View user info) at 2007-07-28 17:35:00 EDT
Harry sat in a booth in the Leaky Cauldron and ordered a basket of onion rings, before beginning to entertain himself by absent-mindedly using magic to manipulate a juke box on the next table. As he browsed through the different songs, he thought appreciatively of how The Order had payed off the Death Eaters to stop hunting him so that they could personally wack Voldemort. The hit had been out on Sirius, Dumbledore, and Harry, but they had pulled a deal just on time, that would stop them from getting the last target.
Finally settling on "Don't Stop Bewitching" by The Weird Sisters, Harry noticed Ron and Ginny Weasley sit down at his table. Ginny was smiling as she slid into the booth, making quiet eye contact with Harry for a few seconds. It didn't need to be said that they were both appreciating the fact that they could be together again, now that the war was over.
"Where's Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Parallel parking her broom," Ron told him and shook his head. "She's terrible with them. She-"
"You should talk," interrupted Ginny. "The only reason we didn't apparate was fear that you were going to leave an eyebrow behind."
Harry laughed, and another minute or two went by without Hermione.
A couple of suspicious-looking men sat down at a near-by table as the onion rings were served, men whom Harry realized to be former Death Eaters. No, Harry thought, Voldemort is gone... they can't be. He attempted to take his mind off of them, but with a tinge of anxiousness.
There was a feeling of discomfort, while Hermione was still apparently trying to park. Harry looked in the eyes of a man he recognized to be Lucius Malfoy, and they made eye-contact for a moment, until...
And then the last few pages are blank, and then the last page says "blank pages added for dramatic effect."
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I know this has certainly similarities to the Clinton campaign song choosing video, but I swear I wrote it first.
User Reviews
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-08-09 17:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I deserve that condemnation Bubba. That Half-Blood Prince issue was a pretty immature and inconsiderate thing to do. But I don't see how this made-up page ruins Deathly Hallows.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-30 11:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
do you ever post anything of quality? or do you just sling as much shit as possible at the front page and hope something will stick?
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-07-30 09:52:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-07-29 22:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't bother reading the post because I remember how you fucked up the Half-Blood Prince before I read it. I haven't read Deathly Hallows, either.
STOP FUCKING UP THINGS FOR PEOPLE, YOU GODDAM JERK. :)
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-29 20:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for putting real men like Tony Soprano on the same post that mentions Harry Potter.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-07-29 19:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
With the author hanging from a ceiling beam after the first book only sells 6 copies and they've re-mortgaged the house to fund printing costs.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-29 16:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-29 12:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It should never of started let alone ended.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-07-28 22:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Optimus D, this was not bad.
At least Rowling believes in closure.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-07-28 17:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment