Post Rock Dreaming: Precursor. (747 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: PostRockSeries
Rating: 2 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (View user info) at 2007-07-30 11:30:35 EDT
Part One: http://www.ubersite.com/m/110466
We stood, you and I, underneath the large sign in the station. Constantly changing it intimated travel details for those around us. We stood, facing the main exit onto the street.
The alarms started sounding then, high and shrill and completely drowning out all other sounds. The sheer power of them was too much for some people as they collapsed under the surprise and pressure of the situation. Your eyes, blue-green and worried looked into mine before we broke into a run for the exit. Metal shutters smashed downwards and we had to roll out to escape. Those stuck inside the station would not be getting out.
It was everywhere.
The skyline was beautiful on fire
All twisted metal stretching upwards
Everything washed in a thin orange haze
We needed a way out of the city. It was a city you had never been to, and a city we thought represented escape. We had arrived too late. All around us people were running, no purpose in their movements, no hope in their eyes. Some burst out of buildings, burning and screaming before collapsing in the streets. Hardier victims of the flames managed to roll on the floor, putting themselves out before looking around, bewildered. All through this hell and madness we walked, not having to use the weapons we had brought, but never letting down our guard.
You whispered in my ear,
The sun has fallen down
And the billboards are all leering
And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles
I tightened my grip on your hand as we reached a large car-park. Splitting up and looking we eventually found a car old enough to start simply, without a key. We began to make our way out of the city, but didn't get far.
We were stopped at a sorry looking blockade manned by a solitary soldier.
'Nobody is to leave the city sir'
'Why not? We don't live there, we're going home'
'There is no home, not anymore. Could you get out of the car?'
I tightened my hand around the small but powerful gun in my pocket.
'Sure'
I stepped out of the car and before he could do anything pressed the gun against the mans ribs and fired once, twice, three times until he slumped against me.
I felt the warmth of his blood flowing over my hand and pushed him away. You were furious at me.
I simply drove, turning the tape deck in the car on.
I see the bright and hollow sky
Over the city's ripped backsides
And everything looks good tonight
You turned to me but before you could speak I began,
'Look, I thought this was the right thing to do. Everything is fucked here too. I'm sorry. Nothing looks good tonight, Iggy's wrong. You look good though and soon we'll stop and rest. It feels like we've been moving for weeks.'
You smiled, quietly, and put your hand over mine. Together we rode until the morning fog.
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-24 03:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-31 10:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-30 19:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GET YOURSELF A CHEAP TRAY
Submitted by ameelius (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-30 20:12:34 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok, im off to play...
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Email me whatever you come up with fella: andylreid.at.gmail.com
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok, im off to play...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-30 20:04:29 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah, missed that.
what the hell was the name of that track?
i only remeber motherfucker in the title
i'll see if i can add some o that down home louisiana dag gum distortion to it.
fucked if i know how to record it to mp3 tho
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It was called 'Death, Motherfucker'.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah, missed that.
what the hell was the name of that track?
i only remeber motherfucker in the title
i'll see if i can add some o that down home louisiana dag gum distortion to it.
fucked if i know how to record it to mp3 tho
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-30 19:59:28 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
too much namby pamby romance stuff for me (i may be wrong, i didn't read it, just looked at the faggy picture and made this conclusion).
i listened to some sort of track you posted some time back about honey badgers in basra or something.
it needs more industrial grade heavy guitar riffs, like what doesn't?, but it had a good sound base, so plus two for that.
at least it ain't poetry...
===========
This one has killing in it.
I can't write poems worth shit.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sorta assumed the lower down the brow you got, the less complicated it got. Serves me right for my prejudice, I suppose.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
too much namby pamby romance stuff for me (i may be wrong, i didn't read it, just looked at the faggy picture and made this conclusion).
i listened to some sort of track you posted some time back about honey badgers in basra or something.
it needs more industrial grade heavy guitar riffs, like what doesn't?, but it had a good sound base, so plus two for that.
at least it ain't poetry...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-30 19:52:39 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! Right. So, shagging mothers is fine if you're famous. I'll make a note of it.
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No. If you are cool, like Iggy Pop, Mickey Rourke or Harvey Keitel, then fucking mothers is fine.
If you are a fucking prick like Fred Durst, Leonardo diCaprio or Ronan Keating, then it's out of line.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! Right. So, shagging mothers is fine if you're famous. I'll make a note of it.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-30 19:49:08 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell him I said hi, and your mom misses him.
(Redskies told me once I was too highbrow. I'm working on it. How'm I doing?)
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Uh. Pretty good, though I'm sure that most people would agree that Iggy Pop shagging their mother is fucking awesome.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell him I said hi, and your mom misses him.
(Redskies told me once I was too highbrow. I'm working on it. How'm I doing?)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-30 19:43:40 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 2 Ripped Backsides.
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I'll be sure to send that sentiment along to my close friend and ally, Iggy Pop.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 2 Ripped Backsides.
(Oh dear.)
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:20:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Scourge, I wish I could turn around and see your face but being the leader doesn't afford me the opportunity to see those behind me. Seriously, you have been grumpy as of late and it's an old hat around here. Try something else on, you miserable twat.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I occasionally have the attention span of a weasel on speed. I barely concentration required finish review!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jealous?
of your lacking mental state or your miniscule penis?
you're a mouth breathing window licker, dude! Jealous?!?! AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-30 19:02:14 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read it. +2 on Faith.
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Howay, it's like a 5 minute read AT MOST.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Scourge, your e-jealousy is shining through again.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-07-30 14:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read it. +2 on Faith.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-30 13:46:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 11:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-30 16:36:29 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more editing.
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How'dyou mean? Too long? Lame bits?
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JESUS FUCK...DON'T TAKE WRITING ADVICE FROM THAT GUY!
He throws a dart at a dictionary and whatever word it hits he just whacks into a sentence and calls it a day.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-07-30 12:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 12:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-30 16:54:27 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well thank god its not poetry
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Don't do poems, gaylord.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-07-30 11:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well thank god its not poetry
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 11:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-30 16:45:13 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Constantly changing it intimated travel details for those around us."
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I had to read this 2-3 times before I realized it wasn't a fragment. It was awkward wording which could have used a direct noun reference instead of pronoun. Maybe that's just me.
1.5, I guess to even it out.
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Yeah I see what you mean. There was another bit to that sentence, but I took it out.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-07-30 11:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-30 11:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Constantly changing it intimated travel details for those around us."
----
I had to read this 2-3 times before I realized it wasn't a fragment. It was awkward wording which could have used a direct noun reference instead of pronoun. Maybe that's just me.
1.5, I guess to even it out.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-07-30 11:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-07-30 11:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-30 16:36:29 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more editing.
======
How'dyou mean? Too long? Lame bits?
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-30 11:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more editing.