Is your child an 133t computer haxxor? (2168 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.47 on 72 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Adam™ (View user info) at 2007-08-01 14:04:24 EDT
This is a REAL article published by a REAl person.
Remember, The internets are serious business.
http://www.adequacy.org/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html
Is Your Son a Computer Hacker?
As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA.
Two years ago, my wife Carol and I decided that our children's education would not be complete without some grounding in modern computers. To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with. The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we'd bought, such as Adobe's Photoshop and Microsoft's Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well. Our son Peter was most entranced by the device, and became quite a pro at surfing the net. When Peter began to spend whole days on the machine, I became concerned, but Carol advised me to calm down, and that it was only a passing phase. I was content to bow to her experience as a mother, until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out: "Peter is a computer hacker!"
As you can imagine, I was amazed. A computer hacker in my own house! I began to monitor my son's habits, to make certain that Cindy wasn't just telling stories, as she is prone to doing at times.
After a few days of investigation, and some research into computer hacking, I confronted Peter with the evidence. I'm afraid to say, this was the only time I have ever been truly disappointed in one of my children. We raised them to be honest and to have integrity, and Peter betrayed the principles we tried to encourage in him, when he refused point blank to admit to his activities. His denials continued for hours, and in the end, I was left with no choice but to ban him from using the computer until he is old enough to be responsible for his actions.
After going through this ordeal with my own family, I was left pondering how I could best help others in similar situations. I'd gained a lot of knowledge over those few days regarding hackers. It's only right that I provide that information to other parents, in the hope that they will be able to tell if their children are being drawn into the world of hacking. Perhaps other parents will be able to steer their sons back onto the straight and narrow before extreme measures need to be employed.
To this end, I have decided to publish the top ten signs that your son is a hacker. I advise any parents to read this list carefully and if their son matches the profile, they should take action. A smart parent will first try to reason with their son, before resorting to groundings, or even spanking. I pride myself that I have never had to spank a child, and I hope this guide will help other parents to put a halt to their son's misbehaviour before a spanking becomes necessary.
1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?
Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider.
I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter. This filter is vital to any parent who wants his son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution. If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites.
2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".
The best option is to confront your son with the evidence, and force him to remove the offending programs. He will probably try to install the software again, but you will be able to tell that this is happening, if your machine offers to "download" one of the hacker applications. If this happens, it is time to give your son a stern talking to, and possibly consider punishing him with a grounding.
3. Has your child asked for new hardware?
Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.
4. Does your child read hacking manuals?
If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds.
There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.
If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure.
5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.
6. Does your son use Quake?
Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.
If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.
7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature.
Even when confronted, your son will probably find it difficult to talk about this problem to you. He will probably claim that there is no problem, and that you are imagining things. He may tell you that it is you who has the problem, and you should "back off" and "stop smothering him." Do not allow yourself to be deceived. You are the only chance your son has, even if he doesn't understand the situation he is in. Keep trying to get through to him, no matter how much he retreats into himself.
8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.
9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.
10. Is your son struggling academically?
If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association. Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation. This will cause his marks to slip dramatically, particularly in difficult subjects such as Math, and Chemistry. In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases. Also, the reduction in exercise may cause him to lose muscle mass, and even to start gaining weight. For the sake of your child's mental and physical health, you must put a stop to his hacking, and limit his computer time drastically.
I encourage all parents to read through this guide carefully. Your child's future may depend upon it. Hacking is an illegal and dangerous activity, that may land your child in prison, and tear your family apart. It cannot be taken too seriously.
---------------
Discuss
User Reviews
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-08-13 14:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ameelius (user info) at 2007-08-05 16:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Believable until the books.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-08-04 05:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-08-04 01:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you child get his hands on a captain crunch whistle, you are doomed
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-08-03 18:50:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm guessing when he mentions "DOS", he's refering to a Direct Denial of Service (DDOS) rather than DOS?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-08-03 18:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is your son using teh DOS to jack off to goatse?
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2007-08-03 04:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't be an idiot, this was OBVIOUSLY written as a joke, and a pretty good one at that.
but not yours.
Submitted by CrazyHatLady (user info) at 2007-08-03 04:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, the picture kicks so much ass I belly laughed.
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2007-08-02 23:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Soo old. Still funny though.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-08-02 20:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites.
omg wtf! Billy is haxx0ring teh DOS he spends 45 minutes per day on teh compaq!
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 09:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some parents are so fucking clueless.
That article was sponsored by Microsoft and AOL in my opinion, the way it bashed linux and praises AOLs child filter.
LAWL
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-02 07:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-02 07:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
I've said it before, but... people are so stupid...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-02 04:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! He's mental. Reminds me of my own dad.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-01 23:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-01 23:13:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMGz teh bonzi buddy haxxing proggy. God help us all!1!one!1shift+one!1!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-01 22:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, that Cindy and her stories.
This is funny but I refuse to believe for a minute that it's real.
Submitted by Entaran (user info) at 2007-08-01 21:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Even though it's not original content, the site that ran this story deserves to be shut down.
A cursory examination of what's said leaves so many holes!
Bonzi buddy is spyware!... or malware even. It's definately not the same as programs you can use to DDoS!
Dear lord. What is the world coming to. Moron parents like this should be exterminated.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-08-01 21:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Is your child an 133t computer haxxor? (613 hits)
Rating: 1.55 on 53 reviews
A Ctrl-C + Ctrl-V post at 1.55 on 53 reviews?!
This must be some of that circle jerkery of which you recently spoke.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110636
Ok, here goes:
Ctrl-C + Ctrl-V = -2
However, +1 because the picture did make me smile.
Oh, and for some hate. Let me see.
Fuck you Adam, you remind me of a miniture Shlongy.
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2007-08-01 20:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit. I have dual-AMD.
I'm so fucked.
'scuse me, the FBI wants to chat about my memory, video card, and wireless mouse/keyboard upgrades.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-08-01 19:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AOL Can suck a fart from my asshole!
FUCK AOL!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-08-01 19:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-08-01 19:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if someone already said this 'cause I sure as hell am not going to look through all the reviews, but if your son is wearing a pacifier then he is doing ecstacy.
Peoples on "e" like to have pacifiers with them because the crash from it is so horrible low and depressing, and a pacifier (which is like a nipple and is reminiscient of a mother) is comforting.
Good stuff.
___________
They're also nice to chew on.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-01 19:33:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really hope this is real. Proves God not only has a sense of humour but is apparently a hilarious asshole of a deity.
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-08-01 19:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if someone already said this 'cause I sure as hell am not going to look through all the reviews, but if your son is wearing a pacifier then he is doing ecstacy.
Peoples on "e" like to have pacifiers with them because the crash from it is so horrible low and depressing, and a pacifier (which is like a nipple and is reminiscient of a mother) is comforting.
Good stuff.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-08-01 19:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
indeed funny.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-08-01 18:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL sounds more like they gave the guidelines on "how to be a hacker"
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-08-01 18:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-08-01 17:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.
________________
HAHAHAHAHAAAA! This has to be a joke, right?
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-08-01 17:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-08-01 16:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2007-08-01 16:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not going to be a dick and kill your rating or anything, but this has been around the internet a hundred times, and adequacy.org has always billed itself as a humor site... maybe I'm missing the joke.
============
by all means, rate as you see fit
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2007-08-01 16:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not going to be a dick and kill your rating or anything, but this has been around the internet a hundred times, and adequacy.org has always billed itself as a humor site... maybe I'm missing the joke.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-08-01 16:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spetsnaz; Neo-Ninjas.
The article's funny, but it gets a little too absurd near the ending. It would've been better if I wasn't sure it's shenanigans.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-01 16:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
meanwhile, upstairs in the attic with the groovy beads, Marcia and Greg are making out like no tomorrow!!!!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I read this in its entirety on ED last night, as well as that picture. In fact, I think I've read all of your latest posts on ED.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
People still use AOL? AMD is the Devil Chip?
Hey! 1997 called, they want their l33t haxx0r back.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good point Avails, but then it could have been Photoshop Elements which is less than $100 and then the guy didn't realize that the kid downloaded and installed the big boy Photoshop.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She-nanny-guns.
Adobe Photoshop? He bought his kids a $600 graphics editing software to play with? Really? I wonder how that's working out for him.
The picture alone was worth the +2.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
choice find... very entertaining. Of course we know how ignorant this guy who orginally penned the article but his attempts at fear mongering and AOL propaganda were fucking hilarious.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:23:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh damn I clicked on the link and it has been blocked by my work.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please tell me this is a joke?
This guy can't be smart enough to have spawned 6 children.
I love how his kids are perfect in every way and yet he didn't believe the girl child when she ratted out her brother because she makes stuff up and the teenage girl child was caught sneaking out...and wearing make-up and perfume.
Die infidel DIE
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
While I'm a staunch "anti-hacker", I do think it would be fun to do SOMETHING to the fucking retard who wrote this "Guide".
Even toilet papering the morons' house...lighting a bag of shit and leaving it on his/her porch...any fucking thing.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<dumbfounded>
i mean seriously..... what is this guy smokin cause I want something that'll make me delusional
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2007-08-01 15:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...before a spanking becomes necessary"
OH MAN THAT IS HOT SHAMONE
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Copy + Paste, but I'm upgrading for the sheer audacity of it all. By the way, why is always YOUR SON and not YOUR SON/DAUGHTER?
It's cuz women r teh stoopidz.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:53:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please tell me that this isn't real, and that site is something like theonion.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
eleventy-seven shades of awesome.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TEH INTERNETS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OML SERIOUS BUSINESS!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SEE IF YOU R A HAXXOR!!
http://www.iceteks.com/comedy/hacker-test.htm
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what is the pic??
I can't see due to the foul language.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pic sealed the deal.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want video of that picture.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture is the shit.
THE shit.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"T Reginald Gibbons is a pseudonym. No matter what you think, you do not have his email address or phone number. "
ahahaha.. his articles are GREAT!! And he IS writing about raising the Brady Bunch!!!
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
6. Does your son use Quake?
Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.
If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.
________________________________
Hahahahahahahaha
People suck.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:31:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
""be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music""
Yeah I laughed.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh man
backflipping hatchet attacks are fuckin bosh
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This can't possibly be real, the guy also has articles about how cars and college are evil.
I call shenanigans.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"meningitis and other psychological diseases"
Here I am thinking meningitis is an inflammation of the meninges. How old-fashioned of me.
Do a spinning flip
==============================
I've never said this before, but I love your username.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahhhahahaa
please tell me this is satire, good god...how can anyone be so dumb.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shit sorry
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.
---------------------------
ohh noes the computer is turning your kid into a teenager, or worse yet a candy raver teenager.
Though to be honest I fucking hate candy ravers.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have another for back-flip hatchet attacks.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My personal Favorite:
"If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well."
---
Intel® inside.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
People still use AOL? AMD is the Devil Chip?
Hey! 1997 called, they want their l33t haxx0r back.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My personal Favorite:
"If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well."
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
We are computer hackers, me and my axe.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this picture made me giggle for 5 minutes until i realized i looked like a retarded chimp and needed to contain myself
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This article got more and more bizarre.
I didn't think anything could top "Snow Crash" being a hacker manual, but then that bit about Quake...
People are STILL this out of touch?
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"meningitis and other psychological diseases"
Here I am thinking meningitis is an inflammation of the meninges. How old-fashioned of me.
Do a spinning flip!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-01 14:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Carol?
Peter?
Cindy?
Is this the freakin Brady Bunch?!??!