The American's Guide to Canada (57056 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.64 on 120 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sunny "NFW" G (View user info) at 2007-08-02 10:28:10 EDT
This is for our American chums. Enjoy.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bonzo_Dog_Band (user info) at 2007-12-18 08:23:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
dont forget Stompin Tom Connors
http://data2.collectionscanada.ca/ap/a/a182928.gif
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-26 11:44:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatever happened to SunnyG? Since he and Legs left, me and Kracka are the only black people left on the site!
We should totally recruit some more brothers and sisters. Also I want a brace of angry latino women who can viciously attack one another over meaningless disagreements.
The best thing would be a russian though. If we had a russian then we could finally go public to the BBC as having the greatest website in the free world.
OMG what if we got a Chechan AND a Russian! It'd be better than that video of a grizzly being dropped into a giant tank full of Tiger Sharks on YouTube!
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2007-09-14 15:26:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was ok with it until you touted Moosehead. Everyone I've ever talked to has gotten the shits real bad from drinking Moosehead.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2007-09-08 10:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was absolutely fantastic. Loved it!
Submitted by Realpolitik (user info) at 2007-08-29 21:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Canada
-2 for shitty healcare
+2 for producing great doctors who flee south as soon as they are able
-2 for reminding me of old debate days (the topic was Peacekeeping operations)
+2 for reminding me that every debate round we would just stand up and say "have canada do the plan"
+2 for piss jugs
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-08-24 21:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow... le HOT lacrosse player
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2007-08-22 19:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just for including the trailer park boys, I dont give a shit about that other stuff. Them boys are so freakin cool. They're the reason I'm considering moving there.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-22 18:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude! B@W! Sweeeeeeet!
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2007-08-19 14:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LongestPants (user info) at 2007-08-19 00:36:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How handy.
Submitted by gandhi (user info) at 2007-08-18 14:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd bend over for Canada. I plan on moving there.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-15 09:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And yeah I'm aware it's not cheap...but it is the America's guide to Canada, not the Canuck guide to Canada. So naturally I'm comparing our fees to the states.
Who cares if Timmys isn't real coffee...the shit is good.
That is all.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-15 09:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2007-08-15 07:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah, and what do you define as "LOW" tuition? I mean sure, compared to the States where pay through the nose, lose an arm and a leg, get raped in the ass, and burn a hole in your pocket, we do have lowER tuition, but that shit is not cheap. I know. I just paid my tuition fees last week!
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Perhaps this will help you out:
http://www.statcan.ca/Daily/English/000828/d000828b.htm
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2007-08-15 07:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah, and what do you define as "LOW" tuition? I mean sure, compared to the States where pay through the nose, lose an arm and a leg, get raped in the ass, and burn a hole in your pocket, we do have lowER tuition, but that shit is not cheap. I know. I just paid my tuition fees last week!
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2007-08-15 07:31:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cut out the Labatt Blue, Molson Canadian, and anything to do with Tim Horton's and you have a damn fine post.
Tim Horton's technically isn't even coffee; they use a different species of bean with more caffeine and less flavour (Coffea robusta instead of arabica). Moosehead and Keith's are most excellent beers, but Blue and Canadian lick hairy sweaty Muskoka cottager nutsack on a July afternoon.
O Canada, fuckin' eh, and all that. Rock, rock on!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-08-14 17:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-11 16:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DaBeast (user info) at 2007-08-02 18:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Canada, America's hat. Let's rip this apart like the mound of brown-eye that it is. Here we go!
1.> I notice that the horse and the lion on your coat of arms have been gelded. Much like most of Canada. Nicely appropriate. No complaints about that one.
2.> Trailer Park Boys... ok, look. I live in the Deep South, land of intolerance, bigotry, animal incest, familial relationships that make the European royals look positively well-bred and discriminate, trailer parks, Dolly Parton's juggz (named DAMN! and GAWDDAMN! respectively), country music, soul food, crawdaddys, catfish, gumbo, buttermilk biscuits, Daisy Dukes (no, I'm not referring to the character by that name - if you don't know what I'm referring to, then you know nothing) the KKK, the Kings Martin Luther and Elvis, and innumerable other things. To whit, the Trailer Park Boys is a very good proof that you know nothing about Southern U.S.A. and if we ever catch you Canadians down here saying "aboot", we'll stomp a mudhole in your pansy asses. Don't mess with the South.
3.> Tim Hortons... yeah ok, a Canadian Starbucks. Look, I don't drink either concoction. If you can't stand a spoon in it and also clean the rust off of the bumper of a '57 Chevy with it, then it's pussy coffee.
4.> Red Green. Who in hell is that yokel? He looks like he regularly pulls Bullwinkle out of his ass. Chuck Norris used the majority of the money he made for "Missing in Action II" to have the inside of his wife's vagina lined with denim. No contest.
5.> Maple syrup and poontang, maybe. Maple syrup and anything else is fag-o-licious.
6.> Bilingualism. I'm bilingual, too. I can say "Suck on my nuts" in 5 different languages and kick your ass without saying a word.
7.> If you were good at sports, Gretzky wouldn't pwn you everytime he takes a dump.
8.> Multicolored money... can we say Queer Bucks?
9.> Canada isn't a culture. It's a running joke.
10.> Canadian Parliament is good for absolutely nothing. This is why nothing gets done. Own up to it.
11.> When I think of Canadian military, I think of Dudley Do-Right and Mounties. I know why they're called mounties, too, and it's because of the way they ride those ponies. Think about it.
12.> Beer is to water what whiskey is to beer. Grow some balls and learn to drink adult drinks. Then you can talk about alcohol percentages and what they mean. Until then, you're still sucking down Yeti piss.
Any questions?
----------------
Just one question...
You voted for Bush, didn't you?
I'm going to submit this to Rick Mercer's comedy program, "Talking to Americans". Yes, we actually HAVE a TV show dedicated to the ignorance of some Americans. You are what gives America a bad name.
How long did this list take you? 4-5 hours?
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-07 01:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
absolutely fascinating... what the hell is a loonie and a toonie?
Submitted by jimmiss (user info) at 2007-08-07 00:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Moosehead is made about 500m from where I am right now.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-06 12:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-06 01:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm suprised you didn,t say anything about drinking milk in bags.-Caul
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lol are you serious? You canucks drink milk out of a bag?
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LOL srsly, we do.
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-06 01:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm suprised you didn,t say anything about drinking milk in bags.-Caul
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lol are you serious? You canucks drink milk out of a bag?
Submitted by Aussie_Ants_4.0 (user info) at 2007-08-06 00:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot John Candy ! But i still love Canada !!!
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-08-05 22:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 16:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by candyfloss01 (user info) at 2007-08-02 16:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your french sucksss. you sluts....learn to speak it properly...
===
what the fuck do you know, you anglo blockhead?
________________
Cheers. Fuck off yah hoser!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-04 15:11:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always kind of liked Canada. When I was in the second grade, this one kid was always making jokes about Canada, I asked him if he even knew anything about Canada, or met anyone Canadian. He said no, but he hated them anyway.
In third grade I learned about racism!
Some say private schools are overpriced and aren't worth it, but I say they're wrong. Private school molded me into the prejudiced bastard I am today, and you cannot put a price on that my friend.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-08-04 05:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-08-04 02:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hot Canadian Women? Why didn't that make the list? Do you guys all pork moose?
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-08-04 01:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
curling is queer....
red green rules all
you broke even there
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-04 00:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I kept seeing ads for Tim Hortons in the hockey arenas during the playoffs and I was wondering what it was. So thanks for solving that mystery for me.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-03 13:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ps. Coors is like having sex in a canoe....
Fucking close to water.
-----
Thanks for the joke.
I used this last night on my cousin who was drinking Coors. Everyone laughed, and I died a little on the inside knowing I was using jokes I had read on uber. Oh well.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-03 00:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 23:50:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-02 19:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for Moosehead and not having Kokanee
+2 for TPB
knock knock
who's there?
some fucking fuckhead who put up shitty fuckin' beer and not some good shit and...ah fuck you dill hole
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KOKANEE? No. Not exactly a Canuck tradition (that tastes like ass). You must be from BC...not that it's a bad thing. Ontarions like myself must have a diff. taste. Sorry...eh.
*******************
Alberta. And Kokanee is awesome. Moosehead tastes like it was brewed in a moose's head.
Submitted by fidelcity (user info) at 2007-08-03 00:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
red green - hell yes.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 23:50:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-02 19:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for Moosehead and not having Kokanee
+2 for TPB
knock knock
who's there?
some fucking fuckhead who put up shitty fuckin' beer and not some good shit and...ah fuck you dill hole
----
KOKANEE? No. Not exactly a Canuck tradition (that tastes like ass). You must be from BC...not that it's a bad thing. Ontarions like myself must have a diff. taste. Sorry...eh.
Submitted by DaBeast (user info) at 2007-08-02 19:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The main export of Canada is natural gas. The main export of Chuck Norris is pain.
No contest.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-02 19:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for Moosehead and not having Kokanee
+2 for TPB
knock knock
who's there?
some fucking fuckhead who put up shitty fuckin' beer and not some good shit and...ah fuck you dill hole
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-08-02 19:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You just made my day....no,my week! Best post on Uber in a long frickin'time.
You fergot beaver tails.
little boy: "daddy,what's an Am-er-i-can?"
baby daddy: "it's like a Canadian,only stupider."
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2007-08-02 18:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for trailer park boys alone. We even get it all the way down here in New Zealand, but when I lived in the states I couldn't find it anywhere. Dunno what the fuck was up with that, because the show is fucking awesome.
HARD AS FUCK.
Go Commenwealth whoooo
Submitted by DaBeast (user info) at 2007-08-02 18:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Canada, America's hat. Let's rip this apart like the mound of brown-eye that it is. Here we go!
1.> I notice that the horse and the lion on your coat of arms have been gelded. Much like most of Canada. Nicely appropriate. No complaints about that one.
2.> Trailer Park Boys... ok, look. I live in the Deep South, land of intolerance, bigotry, animal incest, familial relationships that make the European royals look positively well-bred and discriminate, trailer parks, Dolly Parton's juggz (named DAMN! and GAWDDAMN! respectively), country music, soul food, crawdaddys, catfish, gumbo, buttermilk biscuits, Daisy Dukes (no, I'm not referring to the character by that name - if you don't know what I'm referring to, then you know nothing) the KKK, the Kings Martin Luther and Elvis, and innumerable other things. To whit, the Trailer Park Boys is a very good proof that you know nothing about Southern U.S.A. and if we ever catch you Canadians down here saying "aboot", we'll stomp a mudhole in your pansy asses. Don't mess with the South.
3.> Tim Hortons... yeah ok, a Canadian Starbucks. Look, I don't drink either concoction. If you can't stand a spoon in it and also clean the rust off of the bumper of a '57 Chevy with it, then it's pussy coffee.
4.> Red Green. Who in hell is that yokel? He looks like he regularly pulls Bullwinkle out of his ass. Chuck Norris used the majority of the money he made for "Missing in Action II" to have the inside of his wife's vagina lined with denim. No contest.
5.> Maple syrup and poontang, maybe. Maple syrup and anything else is fag-o-licious.
6.> Bilingualism. I'm bilingual, too. I can say "Suck on my nuts" in 5 different languages and kick your ass without saying a word.
7.> If you were good at sports, Gretzky wouldn't pwn you everytime he takes a dump.
8.> Multicolored money... can we say Queer Bucks?
9.> Canada isn't a culture. It's a running joke.
10.> Canadian Parliament is good for absolutely nothing. This is why nothing gets done. Own up to it.
11.> When I think of Canadian military, I think of Dudley Do-Right and Mounties. I know why they're called mounties, too, and it's because of the way they ride those ponies. Think about it.
12.> Beer is to water what whiskey is to beer. Grow some balls and learn to drink adult drinks. Then you can talk about alcohol percentages and what they mean. Until then, you're still sucking down Yeti piss.
Any questions?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-02 18:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-02 18:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you do put gravy on EVERYTHING, so that's good.
also you forgot that signs that say HOMO MILK.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-08-02 17:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 for bashing Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris will fuck you up bitch.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 16:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by candyfloss01 (user info) at 2007-08-02 16:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your french sucksss. you sluts....learn to speak it properly...
===
what the fuck do you know, you anglo blockhead?
Submitted by candyfloss01 (user info) at 2007-08-02 16:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your french sucksss. you sluts....learn to speak it properly...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 16:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 15:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"winter is a lot more mild in the west and short so shut the very much up, eh?"
Huh? Mild? fuck that.
===
BC and Alberta are a lot more temperate than the rest of the contry.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 15:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"winter is a lot more mild in the west and short so shut the very much up, eh?"
Huh? Mild? fuck that.
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-08-02 15:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2007-08-02 15:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a deep hatred for Montreal right now. Specifically, the Embassy.
TPB sucks. I hate that show.
Tim Horton's is pretty good.. based on the hot chocolate I've had.
Red Green has its moments.
I don't like maple syrup, and I don't like gravy, so poutine is just okay.
I don't have much to say about the people that speak French.
Sports are boring, except for real-life hockey, but then that's just downright cold.
I couldn't figure out how to tip strippers the first time I went to a Canadian strip club. Do you throw loonies and toonies at them? Apparently this is unacceptable.
There's not a whole lot of diversity in my fiance's farming town, so no comment.
No comment.
No comment.
Screw the Montreal Embassy.
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-08-02 14:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bear Grylls > Red Green
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-08-02 14:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-02 13:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cause Im gonna be in Canada for a week starting the 12th...
BOO YAH
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 13:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 13:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't get me wrong Caul, I love Canada and will die here. Best place in the world to live in my opinion.
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have you lived elsewhere? cuz i'm pretty sure that 8 months long winter isn't that hard to beat.
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I will have you know that it is a 9month winter out west some years thank you very much...
===
winter is a lot more mild in the west and short so shut the very much up, eh?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-02 13:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
" now if you excuse me, i will go get lunch with face covered in shame. thanks i guess."
Steppin out for the nooner eh?
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 13:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't get me wrong Caul, I love Canada and will die here. Best place in the world to live in my opinion.
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have you lived elsewhere? cuz i'm pretty sure that 8 months long winter isn't that hard to beat.
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I will have you know that it is a 9month winter out west some years thank you very much...
I <3 WINTER
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-08-02 13:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Moosehead is awesome, just took a case camping with me to Jasper last weekend.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-02 13:02:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ps. Coors is like having sex in a canoe....
Fucking close to water.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's un-American not to like Starbucks.
Oh wait.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oman = Our planet's sphincter
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm only 19 and I've lived in India, Oman, Chicago, San Jose California, and now Ontario. I love snow. I plan on going to the states for grad school and globe-trotting, but to raise a family and settle down; Canada for sure.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't get me wrong Caul, I love Canada and will die here. Best place in the world to live in my opinion.
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have you lived elsewhere? cuz i'm pretty sure that 8 months long winter isn't that hard to beat.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:19:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Canada has a fine collection of not-suck. Wildlife, booze and scenery come to mind. But Red Green, and god damn it I have to go back and rethink several comments I've made on the subject in the recent past for this, is the star of what was the funniest television show in history. First episode I saw was "The Magnetic Lake". I almost peed I was laughing so hard.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't know we had hot lacross players
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahaha
Kirpan in schools, yup. What a shit storm that caused. I'm not a true Sikh though, I have cut hair. Both my grandfathers are though.
Don't get me wrong Caul, I love Canada and will die here. Best place in the world to live in my opinion.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you have to excuse me. i hear or see that shit all the time on the web, especially comments on youtube, there's always some canadian douche having an inferiority complex, and it's seriously embarassing.
so you're a Sikh, eh?
gotta love that kirpan in schools.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul, I put this under humour, don't take it too seriously. Theres a lot more to canada than poutine and beer I realize that. Jeez.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack if your ancestors died for your right to wear a ballcap, I'll march right next to ya.
The history behind a Sikh turban is a huge one. It's not there for decoration, it is actually a necessity (as true sikhs don't cut their hair). The turban is something we've been burned alive, sawed in half, put in slavery, and had wars over. If you did that for your right to wear ballcaps, I agree 100%.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1: why does that matter? seems like a ripoff of les Bougons.
#2: Tim hortons is for the poor. no american brags about mcdonald's, even if it's all over the world
#3: ok?!
#4: maple syrup is largely produced in quebec and new england. some in ontario. poutine is mostly consumed in that area as well. both are regional, not canadian.
#5: except for labelling, billingualism is only practice from about ottawa to new brunswick. again, regional...not canadian.
#6: and? i'm sure iranians are excellent camel riders.
#7: can someone explain me canadian's obsession with our currency? i'm suprised you didn,t say anything about drinking milk in bags.
#8: we're not the first country with mutliculturalism. it's great but it has its limitations and downsides which are starting to show...here and elsewhere. i'd prefer the french laicity model or at least the american one. either way, it has little impacts on day to day life.
#9: i have nothing to say.
#10: why would you need recognition for what others did or do ("we")? furthermore why would you need recognition from a foreign country? shouldn't you focus on giving recognition to the actual individuals who do those things?
#11: beer is all over the place anywhere. why would brag about that piss?
Conclusion: i don't want to be mean but as a canadian, this embarassed me...a lot. now if you excuse me, i will go get lunch with face covered in shame. thanks i guess.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-08-02 12:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1. Trailer Park Boys kicks nine kinds of ass.
2. Dunkin Donuts was around before Tim Hortons, adn has better coffee. That isn't saying much, but...
4. Are there any recovery programs up there for the 2nd item?
"Hi, I'm Jack, and I like eating Poutine."
"HELLO, JACK!"
5. Bilingualism? See just about very argument Caul and I have had over the years.
6. You gotta give Canada point for Don Fuckin Cherry.
7. Every time I play Monopoly I think of Canada.
8. Don't get me started.
The scene: RCMP Human Resources Grievances Tribunal
"Why can't I wear a ballcap with my uniform?"
"Well, a ballcap is not a cultural--"
"I come from Ottawa Valley white trash. My grandad wore a ballcap. My dad and uncles and brothers and sisters wear ballcaps. My friends and neighbors wear ballcaps. All the time."
"Well, a turban is different."
"Why is that?"
"Because you are white. NEXT."
9. Ahh, Parliament, where the scent of John A. Macdonald's vomit still lingers.
10. My dad was one of those guys. Got a personalized tour inside the Great Pyramid while he was over there.
11. Nothing beat a quart bottle of Labatt's 50 on a hot Saturday afternoon. Or so I've heard.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lacking in something.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well done
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We have poutine here. We just call it "fries with cheese and gravy".
Submitted by vergedor (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In the truck stop zone known as Drummondville between Quebec city and Montreal, restaurants were serving bad ass french fries with gravy. This region also produces fresh cheese that squeaks when you bite into it.
Truckers would order Fries with gravy and some fresh squeaky cheese on the side. After a while, english truckers started to ask to "put in" the cheese in the french fries with gravy. So, the french-canadian waitresses started to call these orders "Poutine" as in "Put in".
That's how this magnificient recipe came to be
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this served heated or chilled? And does the cheese get melted?
------------
served hot, hopefully your cheese is melted, I like it better that way myself.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this served heated or chilled? And does the cheese get melted?
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
here is poutine my friend:
French fries, from fresh potato from PEI. Then, cheese curds from the dairies of Quebec are generously sprinkled onto the delicious fries. Last but not least, heart stopping gravy from the Prairies drenches everything.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:25:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can you give me a complete breakdown of poutine because I'm not sure I entirely understand it?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
it's Au Canada...not En
starts well
----
Sorry Caul, I guess I fail at that. But when I went to google I got this link
http://fr.franceguide.com/special/bienvenue-en-france/
Why does it say 'En' in that instance? Is there an exception I don't know about?
===
France is feminine, like Italie or Chine or Australie, for examples...so it's EN
AU is for masculine countries like Canada, Denmark, Congo, Brésil...whatever
there is no rule to determine the gender of countries. you just know it.
Submitted by ordinarychick (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:18:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweeping ice is a sport? Fuck me! I played lacrosse and I think that dude at Tim Ho's was a fucking liar, that's what I think. Lacrosse goes back to the natives where they'd play with rocks and spears on the end. In some cases lacrosse was used to settle battles, who gets more hash, etc. etc.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
it's Au Canada...not En
starts well
----
Sorry Caul, I guess I fail at that. But when I went to google I got this link
http://fr.franceguide.com/special/bienvenue-en-france/
Why does it say 'En' in that instance? Is there an exception I don't know about?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
it's Au Canada...not En
starts well
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, the Mountie with the turban is pimp. We gotta bring that guy out to more national events.
---
I'm glad you think so. The guy is an icon at my temple...That picture has made him insanely famous in the community.
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, the Mountie with the turban is pimp. We gotta bring that guy out to more national events.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There was a noticeable lack of ketchup chips on your post as well Adam.
the girls are most smokin' though.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Enjoyable. Poutine is heaven. Canadian beer is alright.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:10:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dammit, +2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I beat you to the link Adam. I WIN A LINKING
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lacrosse was invented by native americans, who coincidentally didn't see that invisible line that divides you and us. I'm from Maryland, and for some reason it's HUGE there. Also Curling sucks.
Also, people don't counterfit your money because it's Canadian money and even those silly sandnigras know that US currency is where it's at (see US foriegn policy 1940-present)
Also european beers beat the shit out of Canadian. I'll admit that most american beers suck, 'cept Sam Adams, and Seirra Nevada.
Also, I present to you...the most awesome Canada post ever written.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51349
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have never tasted a nice beer from North America. You have Queenie on your money - well done.
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 RED GREEN
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you would think we would have them here.
America puts Ketchup on everything.
kind of like you guys with maple syrup.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-08-02 11:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How Dare you defile the name of the great one!
Chuck Norris' beard has more testosterone than Red Green!
Red Green? thats not a name thats christmas lights!
careful canada or the thunder of chuck Norris' next fart will be directed at you!
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE IS THE KETCHUP POTATO CHIPS??
---
FUCK! I knew I'd forget some things, but how could I forget something as vital as those.
Ketchup potato chips are the shit.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE IS THE KETCHUP POTATO CHIPS??
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But don't tell Shlongy.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can always leave, Yozz. I can leave and take my pony pants with me, AND THERE WILL BE NO HULLABALLOO AND/OR FIGGY PUDDING FOR ANYONE.
ANYONE. ARE YOU FOR TO BE HEARING ME PLS?????????????????????
---------------------------------------
Whoa, whoa WHOA!!!! Hold on a second. I was not complaining. I was actually somewhat giddy - I love circle jerks (not the actual kind - the UBER kind)!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can always leave, Yozz. I can leave and take my pony pants with me, AND THERE WILL BE NO HULLABALLOO AND/OR FIGGY PUDDING FOR ANYONE.
ANYONE. ARE YOU FOR TO BE HEARING ME PLS?????????????????????
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and it needs more Bob and Doug Mackenzie (sp?)
Take off you hoser!
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Guinness is an import too?
It's good but a little thick, Stout and all that.
I judge the canadian beer by how you can eat with it.
Blue and a burger=fine
Molson and food gets skunky.
If you get Labbatts too far south it tastes different than the stuff up north.
I like Sam Addams also.
cant get much more American than that.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh crap, forgot about bob and doug.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and it needs more Bob and Doug Mackenzie (sp?)
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The fuck sort of name is Red Green anyway?
"Marvin I'd like you to meet my son, Purple N. Brown. Yes actually the 'N' DOES stand for Nurple, you're right Marvin. That was my grandmother's maiden name."
-------------------------------------------------------------
HAAHAAA HAAA
Man, Orgasmo is here. This is gonna turn into a circle jerk REALLY fast.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The fuck sort of name is Red Green anyway?
"Marvin I'd like you to meet my son, Purple N. Brown. Yes actually the 'N' DOES stand for Nurple, you're right Marvin. That was my grandmother's maiden name."
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
psst, Yozz, those are not American beers...
-----------------------------
No shit. I didnt say American beers were better. I just said Canadian beers suck. And I recanted somewhat on that.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:47:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Red Green rather.
Like I give a damn about how his name's spelled.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
psst, Yozz, those are not American beers...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:47:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That Red Greene chap looks like a woodsmany Michael Gross from Family Ties.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:47:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thingys I love from Canada
labatt...... mmmmmmm
aero bars........ also delicious.
Red Green is pretty damn funny but weren't the kids in the hall also out of canada?
fishing
i'm sure there's more but I can't be bothered to think right now.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:46:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look kids! Big Ben! Parliament!
P.S. Canadian beer sucks.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Are you on crack?
Budwiser? Coors?
I wouldn't wash my ass with that stuff.
----------
Agreed, I just got back from vacation and the first thing I did when I got to a Canadian airport was get a scooner of keiths...
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck. Forgot to +2.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look kids! Big Ben! Parliament!
P.S. Canadian beer sucks.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Are you on crack?
Budwiser? Coors?
I wouldn't wash my ass with that stuff.
-------------------------------------
More like ... Guiness, Stella, etc. Coors is "headache in a can." Ok, throwing the "it sucks" out there was a little hasty, but you gotta admit - they all taste the same goddamnit.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dammit, my usual "What's a Canada?" reply wont work here, since you, well, told me what a Canada is.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A few complaints.
Canadian is a fucking disgusting beer I wouldn't serve an enemy, needs more Kokanee. Fuck the natives, they get way more than they deserve. This seems a lot like adams B@W post from a few years ago but I enjoyed it none the less.
Needs more 'eh'
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51349
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sunny,
There are Timmys all over the Buffalo area, on the NYS thruway and at least six here in Rochester.
I think there are some in the Syracuse, Waterown area as well.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will admit that I watch Red Green on a daily Basis.
Keep yer' stick on the ice.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look kids! Big Ben! Parliament!
P.S. Canadian beer sucks.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Are you on crack?
Budwiser? Coors?
I wouldn't wash my ass with that stuff.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Red fuckin Green, that guy is the shit.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:40:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The one thing I love about New York is I'm an hour and change from the border. a quick stop at the BEER STORE and I gots me some quality Labbats Blue.
7%+ alcohol, not that 3-5% crap we have here.
we have Timmy's here too,
maple-pecan danish mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
----
TIM HORTONS MADE IT TO THE STATES?
Thank god. Now I have proper coffee on my adventures to New York.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The one thing I love about New York is I'm an hour and change from the border. a quick stop at the BEER STORE and I gots me some quality Labbats Blue.
7%+ alcohol, not that 3-5% crap we have here.
we have Timmy's here too,
maple-pecan danish mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look kids! Big Ben! Parliament!
P.S. Canadian beer sucks.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-08-02 10:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never heard of this Canada...wait...
*spits out coffee*
You're talking about the Counterweight Continent!