SunnyG has self-reflective dream: more answers needed (535 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sunny "NFW" G (View user info) at 2007-08-09 10:33:07 EDT
I bolted upright in my bed, drenched with sweat.
Is there someone in my room?
I looked around. Nothing. Maybe it was just paranoia. Maybe it was insecurity. Maybe it was my childhood fear of the dark.
Hell, maybe it was the fat spliff I had smoked 2 hours ago.
Who knows? I'm not a fucking doctor and this isn't a goddamn Geico commercial.
I tried to get back to bed, but remained in a dazed state of conciousness.
I rolled over in my bed and saw Voldemort.
What? Voldemort? Impossible.
I knew it when my scar began to sear with pain. And I awoke again.
Voldemort, fucking ridiculous.
I chuckled and turned to the crowd of buzzing gnomes at my bedside.
"That was fucked up, Voldemort doesn't fucking exist, and I'm not Harry Potter!"
One of the gnomes stepped forward. He was wearing a disty old hat, with curled up camel skin shoes. The kind they have in India. I should know.
"Sunny, maybe if you would look inside yourself and see who you truly are. You're living vicariously through a fictional character because your own life is full of misery and anonymous sex. And by anonymous, I mean non existent"
"Fucking gnome" I looked at him in disgust and punched him in the beard. He sailed across my room and landed in a heap on some laundry.
"Truf hurts, don't it bitch?!"
I pushed the gnomes out of my mind, they're not real, and tried to sleep again.
Something awoke me again.
What the fuck is it this time?
There was loud and obnoxious rap music being blared throughout my house. At the foot of my bed I saw Arsenio Hall smiling with his big ass teef. I swear those grills have a light of their own, and it was motherfucking blinding. Arsenio brought a friend; Pacman Jones.
Before I could even say anything, Pacman pulled out a bag with 80 grand in non-sequential bills and started making it rain.
Fucking incredible. This needs to stop. I will not do dope, I will not do dope.
I bolted up in my bed. I looked around feverishly.
No. Former late night talk show host Arsenio Hall was not in your room, neither was controversial Defensive Back Adam 'Pacman' Jones.
I looked around for any signs of Pacman making it rain, and came up empty.
"It's all in your head", whispered a soothing female voice.
Finally, a dream I can use!
I looked around for the source of such an angelic voice, and my eyes finally rested upon the woman.
"What the hell are you doing in my dream? I need to wake up."
"You can't help yourself Sunny"
"Oh? And why is that?"
"You push everyone who has ever loved you away from yourself. You need to let others help you"
"Thanks tips, wanna tell me where the hell you fit into this equation?"
"That is just the problem, Sunny. Everything isn't an equation. Not everything can be explained with a number"
Pi, e, root of negative one. That's it. Ha. This dream is like the irrational number system. Imaginary numbers. Root of negative one. It exists, yet it doesn't. That explains a lot
My alarm began ringing. I woke up all bleary eyed and gave it a left hook, which sent it flying across my bedroom.
I sat up with great effort.
What the fuck just happened?
User Reviews
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-08-11 17:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-11 17:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
eh.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-08-10 23:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
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revenge -2s are so hot right now.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-08-10 23:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by fidelcity (user info) at 2007-08-10 12:26:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coulda been longer...but good.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-09 16:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:33:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I quite liked the surrealism.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
'Get in.'
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Filename and I enjoyed the story...
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-09 12:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm surprised no one has commented on the picture/filename.
Don't watch fear and loathing before you go to bed.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-08-09 11:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-09 11:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs more disturbing fanfic.
Submitted by ordinarychick (user info) at 2007-08-09 11:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth reading (+0)
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-08-09 10:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Lay off the dope man.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-09 10:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh