Boblobla goes to the beach, gets a little bit country and gets fucked in the ass by United. (721 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.69 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bob ,|,, °_° ,,|, Lobla (View user info) at 2007-08-09 12:51:17 EDT
I returned a few days ago from my summer vacation in North Carolina and Alabama.
Warning, this is a moderately entertaining kinds long story about my vacation. Moderately is generous, if you have ADD or don't like me go read something else. Feel free to leave a -2 on your way out.
It all started off a little rocky. The plan was to fly from Calgary to Denver and from Denver to Washington DC. We would arrive at about 4PM local time (2PM Calgary time). We arrived at the airport at 5:00AM Calgary time for an 8AM flight. After waiting in a line to check in and waiting in a line to go through customs and waiting in a line to go through security we were waiting to board and ready to go at about 7:15ish. We boarded the plane at the time we were supposed to and then we got the dreaded announcement. The pilot said there was a hydraulic leak and the mechanic was seeing if it was a quick fix. It wasn't. This fucked us good an proper because we only one hour extra in Denver before our flight left.
They got us a new plane and we were on our way. We landed in Denver 15mins after our connection left and guess what we got to do? WAIT IN MORE LINES WEWHOOOOO...
We waited for 45mins to figure out WTF we were gonna do and we got the worst customer service I have ever received from the lady at the ticket counter. She didn't even look at us for the 15mins she was typing to find us a flight and when we asked what was going on or if there was another airport we could fly to she pretty much told us to shutup. Long story short we ended up going to Dallas because there is a flight leaving there that will get us to Washington DC at 8:30PM local time and the next closest option would get us there at 12:30AM.
As we were leaving the booth I asked her what was going on with our luggage and she was able to get it on an earlier flight to an airport closer to the g/fs dad. So we got to Dallas, had dinner and a beer at TGIFuckitwasnicetohaveabeer and made our way to the gate. The plane was an hour late arriving so we finally boarded and as we were ready to leave the captain said there was a hydraulic leak... ANOTHER ONE, TWO IN ONE FUCKING TRIP. We had to disembark and wait 2 hours for another plane. They comped the drinks for us which was nice but it would have been nice to get there on time...
We finally arrived in Washington DC at 1:00AM, about 9 hours after we were supposed to. There was a massive f*ck around trying to find our luggage but that is another story since this is already a borring fucking story and we are still at the airport...
We left for the beach on Saturday afternoon and drove for about 9 hours to get there, it is normally 6 but since we couldn't leave until the afternoon because of the flight BS we go stuck in traffic. I was so happy when we got there. The g/f's dad rents a house on the beach in Cape Hatteras (sp?). We spent 5 days at the beach just chillin and collecting sea shells and sunburns. It was a riot and really relaxing.
All the houses there are on stilts because of hurricanes, that is a funny thing to see. I really enjoy it down there but after a week it leaves me longing for Wild Rose Country. I could never live anywhere tropical, I like jeans, hoodies and winter too much.
The area we go to is steeped in pirate tradition. It is pretty cool, I am kind of a sucker for the history stuff so it really interests me. The one thing that sucks is that I am allergic to shellfish so it limits the food that I can eat on the coast. I did grill my first tuna while I was down there and it was fucking tasty.
Something I am really excited about is I asked my g/f's dad if I could have his permission to marry his daughter and he said yes. He actually seem pretty excited which is cool. Now all I have to do is get the fuck out of debt and buy a ring.
We left the beach at 4AM on Friday to begin the 12hr drive to Alabama for the g/f's moms side family reunion. We did the drive in 11.5 hours, and by we, i mean me. It was me, the g/f and her sister and I wanted to do all the driving because I wanted to speed and I knew that they wouldn't. Plus they are women and a sense of direction is not among one of their top ten skillz...
Alabama was FUCKING HOT. I am talking 100°F and humid. It was a lot of fun, and it was COUNTRY. We had a pig roast, there was mullets, it was great fun. They had raised the pig themselves and butchered it a few days before we cooked it. It was pretty funny, they had a big metal container of some sort filled with ice that they were keeping the pig in to keep it cold. So, if you were a redneck and had a massive tub of ice with a pig in it and it was 100 degrees out where would you keep your beer? If you said in the fridge YOU ARE WRONG. It was a little disconcerting the first time I grabbed a frosty brew and there was a pig hoof sticking out of the ice right beside it but when in Rome...
Funniest thing that I saw on the trip was about 2 hours into the pig roast when they added a little bit too much charcoal and one of the legs caught on fire. Someone went running for the hose they had stretched across the lawn and came running back to the flaming pork. Unbeknownst to them, the hose, that normally would have reached the BBQ pit, had wrapped around a tree. So imagine a skinny redneck, running with a hose as fast as they can thinking that the hose they have is going to reach the flaming dinner. The guy nearly did a fucking backflip when he reached the maximum length of the hose and I nearly shit myself I was laughing so hard.
They put out the fire and we had some tasty pork for dinner.
There was a few events planned and that was a blast too. We went on a scavenger hunt, had a white elephant gift exchange and a rock painting...
That's right, rocks, paper is expensive, rocks are free motherfucker.
Man, southern cooking KICKS ASS. The breakfasts we had were UNREAL. Bacon, port sausage, rabbit sausage, scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy. I have never eaten like that and my heart will be happy if I never eat like that again.
We left there on Sunday and did the drive back to the g/f's dads in 2 six hour trips stopping half way at a hotel to relax.
For the next few days we just chilled and did some shopping (is there anything you can't buy at target?) and then the g/f and I left on Wednesday morning to head back. There was no problems with the return flight and that brings us to now.
Hopefully this entertains for a few mins or hours, depending on how fast you read...
User Reviews
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2007-08-11 02:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I really enjoy it down there but after a week it leaves me longing for Wild Rose Country. I could never live anywhere tropical, I like jeans, hoodies and winter too much."
ME TOO. Vancouver, while not really tropical I guess, is seriously killing me. I miss Alberta wicked bad.
Your vacation sounds like an awesome time (except for all the crap with flights).
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-08-10 11:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kicker of all Ass.
Bring pics tomorrow!
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-10 00:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There is only 2 good things about the south.
Cracker Barrel and cheap manual labor
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-10 00:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad you enjoyed your stay in the deep south. Now go back where you came from. HAHA KIDDING
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2007-08-09 23:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who would want to live in Alabama?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-09 22:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If it wasn't for the hot temperatures, I'd seriously consider moving to the deep south. Pig roasts rock.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-09 20:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think this story was about as interesting as your initial flight problems were for you.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-09 20:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
moreewhitespacewhitespacewhitespace
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-09 17:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
try waiting in line at Dreamworld, Australia during peak season.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-09 16:54:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-09 16:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF I'm reading all this.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-08-09 16:26:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.fotosearch.com/audio.asp?pp_sku=CRK105&image_name=ccaa316
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-09 16:22:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
country breakfasts are pretty dang good
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why in THE hell would you leave OBX for Alabama?
Alabama?
paddle faster I hear banjo music
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Family Reunion, thought I mentioned that. I probably thought it and never wrote it down...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why in THE hell would you leave OBX for Alabama?
Alabama?
paddle faster I hear banjo music
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read most of it but DO like you.
Although no picture? Whatta rip.
---------
There is a picture, it is carefully camouflaged...
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, it's pretty rare to hear of a man asking his girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. +2 for old schoolness. Congrats!
=====================================
I just asked my GF's mother for her hand yesterday morning! It was so sweet, she cried. But good crying, not that "oh my god my daughters marrying a chubby shlub" crying.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
north carolina is canada's new mecca, it seems. is there anyone that isn't going there?
fuck, even nascar is here now.
god help us
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read most of it but DO like you.
Although no picture? Whatta rip.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Three things:
1. 'Bama fucking RULES. No matter how hot or humid, you will always be entertained down there at any given moment.
2. I clicked on this because I thought it said you "got fucked in the ass by TheUniter."
3. Speaking of flaming pork, where's Caul?
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
biscuits and gravy..fuck yeah.
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I absolutely love a country breakfast!!!
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, it's pretty rare to hear of a man asking his girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. +2 for old schoolness. Congrats!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-09 13:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-09 12:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice. I liked the 'when in rome' line.