What the Fuck is Going on Here? (1031 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.76 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by chipolatte (View user info) at 2007-08-09 13:58:30 EDT
I make a point not to watch "Dharma and Greg", but it comes on at 10 and 1030 AM here, and it's often the only thing on. So I put it on as I fell asleep. It is awful, and if you've never seen it, don't, erm, bother. Today was an especially disturbingly bizarre episode, in which Teller (of Penn and Teller) guest starred as a man who thinks he's a cat, and walks around rubbing his ass on people and having Dharma and Greg scratch his belly and shit.
It was the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen. Is this what was funny in the 90s?
Absolutely terrible.
I've also finally realized who is the vast majority of Ubersite. I don't think I can tell you a single male friend I have that doesn't like football. Now, that doesn't mean that they are all diehards who know the offensive line of every team- in fact most are not, including me- but every single guy I know will watch a football game of the team they root for.
Whenever I post anything about sports on here, the overwhelming response is "who cares?" and "sports suck". I don't care, it doesn't faze me about ratings on this site, but I came to realize that you people (not all of you, there are real people but they are few and far between, and you know who you are) are actually, incredibly, really, the middleaged dork guys who rarely go out, have had sex (maybe) a time or two with a girl or two, and devote much time to inside games. You people really are losers, and it actually makes me pretty ebullient.
Football season starts in 27 days, and the first Cowboys game of the season is a month from today.
Holy shit.
If you want I will help you compile a Boner Jams 07 so that Sept. 6 is as meaningful to you guys as it is to me.
You suck, and it's truly hilarious.
User Reviews
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-13 01:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Its probably best if you never post on this or any other website ever again.
Format your computer with large magnets placed on your motherboard just to be safe.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-10 21:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Um, considering that Football is by FAR the #1 sport in the US, and no other sport even comes close (basketball is second, but it can't even begin to actually be competitive), I don't think they need you to convince the "losers" of Übersite that they should like it.
Now, I know you're probably feeling uncomfortable about your manhood as of late, but don't worry about that intimate moment you shared with Bob in the jacuzzi last week, everyone understands that you were drunk, and he was fresh off a ten year Prison sentence. I want you to know, as your friend, no one thinks any less of you.
Seriously though, what was the point of this crap?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-10 18:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-08-09 18:12:35 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and rob that link is a little homoerotic. what message are you trying to communicate here buddy, that you like cock or that you REALLY LIKEA DA COCK.
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he really likes gettting his fudge packed, ask Caul
Submitted by StrikerZeroX (user info) at 2007-08-10 09:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Football is the kicker of all ass.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-09 22:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I enjoy football very much, but this post sucks.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-08-09 21:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not a fan of either, hell up until recently I hadn't been on uber for months. Football just kind of bores me, and to add on to this whatever. I find it hilarious how someone could equate getting pussy to success, cause in that case some of the most successful men in America are Rapists.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-08-09 21:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sick of being a wallflower? <<< http://librineri.3x3i.com >>> Get the confidence, get the girl!
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-08-09 21:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and rob that link is a little homoerotic. what message are you trying to communicate here buddy, that you like cock or that you REALLY LIKEA DA COCK.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-08-09 21:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-08-09 21:04:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you didn't have an argument you just attempted (and failed) putdowns.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-09 20:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
play sports, don't watch them.
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that, plus I don't care about sports because I don't have any reason to care about the team. I care about my school team, I care about my team playing a game of pickup football, running a race...why should I care about overpaid steroid-addicts?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-09 18:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"see i'm much smarter than you think i am "
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No, yer really not.
In fact: http://www.ubersite.com/m/110710
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-08-09 18:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-08-09 17:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh and spagdumb it's not "'your' one of those people" it's "you're" as in you are
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Nice! Your rebuttal focused on the most unimportant elemant of my argument - The lack of proof reading.
Remind me to come back and discuss things with you again, moron.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2007-08-09 17:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh mom, was always wondering why i was into sports
oh mom, was always wondering why i was staying after school
i'm into sports mom and also i'm in the locker room with the boys
i'm in the shower and i drop the soap every time
homos uh huh uh huh uh huh
homos no one knows a homo like us
we love homos
lesbians are cool
and straights are fools
lesbians rule their scene
but the homos are the coolest of the cools
homos uh huh uh huh uh huh
homos
they never knock at my front door
they never ring on the phone
they always come through the window
through the back door
through the throat
homos uh huh uh huh uh huh
homos
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-09 17:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what spfag said.
stupidhead.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-08-09 17:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh and spagdumb it's not "'your' one of those people" it's "you're" as in you are
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-08-09 17:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
loki- i mention the folks like you, i say there are the few and far between cool folks 'you know who you are' and you are one of them. it's not the football thing, it's because you're never involved with 'uber-drama'- look at my last ten posts, at least a couple talk about this same subject but from different angles. my uber habits have gotten to the point that about once every couple of weeks i'm bored online and have already read all espn and onion articles, watched all ebaums and collegehumor videos, and randomly click onto ubersite. i'm not making fun of anybody for being on ubersite, i'm making fun of the actual behavior.
see i'm much smarter than you think i am
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-08-09 17:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Some of us also come from countries that aren't the U.S.A which automatically means that your shitty football game means fuck all to us. If I start talking about Cricket, do you sit there glued to your screen with anticipatory pre cum puring out of your 3 inch dick?
I guess your one of those "incredibly, really, the middleaged dork guys who rarely go out, have had sex (maybe) a time or two with a girl or two, and devote much time to inside games." as you so eloquently described it.
Nice analysis, autard.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-09 17:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno, I see this on here all the time. Eventually someone will accuse everyone of living in their parents' basement or somehow lacking in social skills simply because they are online. I find this an oddly ironic claim considering the both the accuser and the accused would have to be online in order for said allegation to even be expressed.
Bit of the old pot calling the kettle black really.
Maybe in once upon a time land everyone who played around on this new fangled thang called the internet were what you would think of as a stereotypical computer geek. I think that was probably back in the DOS days of yore when you had to know all this complex shit in order to get the things to work. Now though, the whole computer usage thing is more organic. It is more a case of considering someone a window licking idiot if they don't have at least some basic rudimentary computer knowledge.
I certainly never considered myself a computer geek but the fact that I'm a CPA working for a big company means that I spend roughly 40 hours a week working on one. I've had to learn quite a bit about the damn things just to do my job and I don't think that is all that rare.
I think the only people who don't work with computers are probably blue collar types and I would imagine that most of them probably have computers at home. The rest of us out here in the corporate world not only sit in front of the things all day but we're connected to the internet full time.
Essentially most of the time when I'm online at work I'm waiting on a report to run or a system update and can't do anything productive until it does. Either that or I'm killing some time because I either don't have or want to do anything. I doubt that is all that rare either. Then like most people on here when I'm not at work I have a fairly normalish life. I'm probably more of a nerd that I want to think I am because truth be told I do collect coins, play the piano, and read a lot so how cool can I possibly be but I also go to shotokan, the Y, movies, ball games, run around with my friends, and try to either go to the mountains or beach twice a month. I'm not living a rock star life but I'm hardly holed up in my parents' basement either.
And gosh let's see it's been about 12 hours since I had sex last but thank you for your concern.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-09 16:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-08-09 16:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
twennnty seven days
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2007-08-09 16:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i bet you would enjoy being gang raped by your favourite football team.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-09 16:20:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There is no corellation between disliking sports and not getting sex. I can't abide Football, American or regular and I get laid on a regular basis.
Also I find it highly amusing when people try and point out that people who use Ubersite are virgin nerd losers. You are currently using ubersite. Irony much?
ps Saying you dont care about rating and then calling people losers for giving you bad ratings? Hypocrisy.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-09 16:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ordering a Diet Pepsi with a straw doesnt make you gay but it sure in the fuck makes you look that way. Disliking football doesnt make you a social outcast but it definitely makes you ask questions.
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Football just isn't all that entertaining really.
Oh, and -2DIE etc...
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not arguing that there's anything wrong with not liking football, im just using that as one of the many examples i have picked up to realize the overall social awkardness of this site.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What Chroniclysm said.
Personally I love football, but I don't see someone else not liking it as a sign of a personal flaw.
we each must find our own path in life
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I do not have a fondness from football but hardly fit your profile of a male who doesn't watch football. god chicken has part of it right... "play sports don't watch them" but there are many other sporting options available as well as more meaningful ways to kill three hours.
I am always ammused by some dumbass who thinks somehow not watching football makes you a cellar dwelling loner when in fact someone who will sit and watch football for three hours is just as likely to be a lonely fat slob who never gets any because women can't get past the beer gut wrapped in a wife beater with cheese dip and beer stains on it. So take your PBR or Bud light or whatever watered down piss beer you consume while watching the "manly" sport of football and insert it in your ass. hopefully you'll get drunk so fast that you'll stumble over the yard apes tonka trunks and fall head first down the porch steps onto the broken glass and random pile of metal in your yard full of three foot tall weeds breaking your neck and being punctured in a hundred different places. and then...... c'mon, i think you might be smart enough to guess it.......
-2 DIE!
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you know, back in the '90s when I
STARRED in D&G, I made lots of money.
so FU.
and I make plenty
of money now off of you sausage-head
channel surfers.
so TY.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
most of Uber has an aversion to sports, because instead of playing on the team, they got beat up by the team
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, the dorks are gonna unleash their stables full of alters on this
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+2 for this
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2007-08-09 15:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're probably right.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I make a point not to watch "Dharma and Greg", but it comes on at 10 and 1030 AM here, and it's often the only thing on. So I put it on as I fell asleep.
You, yeah you, stop breathing because you don't deserve anymore oxygen after writing this crap.
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:48:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dharma and Greg does indeed suck large balls.
Maybe it's just football people dislike? Personally, I watch it, but I prefer hockey and baseball.
Oh, and I mean the NFL. Fuck the CFL. Hard.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and if any of my friends ever admit to watching >1 episode of Dharma and Greg in any given month of the past 5 years, I'd have to consider disowning him or her on the spot.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uber is full of euro pussies and american internet addicts, it's no surprise that they don't like anything manly
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
play sports, don't watch them.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe Uber is more eclectic than the inbred pool of friends from your Texan hometown.
Maybe the mere idea that you frequent a site of writers, musicians, frustrated employees, stoners, artists, techies, and functional sociopaths, from a half dozen countries, age 15-55, would make your friends mercilessly laugh at you.
This is more productive than my initial thought of:
"Oh, so you got fired and your girlfriend left you for a tranny. I hope your condescending ramble made you feel better. -2"
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, the dorks are gonna unleash their stables full of alters on this
Submitted by ordinarychick (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:16:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"You people really are losers, and it actually makes me pretty ebullient."
It does?
Contemplating the relative social status of the moderate collection of nerds and assholes that waste time contributing to this site fills you with overflowing excitement?
Lame.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a giner so I get a free pass on not caring about sports.
My musician friends don't like sports but pull in plenty of ass. Then again, they don't spend any time on ubersite, either.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, everyone on uber is a loser except you. I totally agree.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wtf are u talking about?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen. Is this what was funny in the 90s?
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You get a plus two for cracking me up with this line.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-09 14:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont know about the Dharma and Greg bullshit but Ill be at the Cowboys Colts preseason game tonight on the 25 yard line. The kind of grown men that dont like football I classify with vegetarians and users of Kotex