The irony, it burns (801 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.13 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <egking_mph.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-08-11 09:48:55 EDT
I will explain the irony at the completion of this tirade.
I went to the bank today and the teller gave me a benign lecture on the online banking system. Direct Deposit! Never fill out a banking slip again! Online bill pay so I never have to write a check again! I smiled, thanked her, and didn't feel it polite to mention that if everyone used the online system she would probably be out of a job.
Does anyone write anymore? I don't mean the structuring of sentences, stringing words together to make a coherent (or sometimes not) statement. I mean putting a writing utensil, most likely pen or pencil although crayon can be charming, to a piece of paper. It's a dying art to be sure. Schools used to teach penmanship. Now adults and children, when they do write, use bulky block letters instead of graceful cursive. Looking at old manuscripts, diaries, and even receipts I am struck by the delicate spidery scrawl that used to be commonplace. Now I've had people ask me why I have a large 2 at the start of words and I have to gently tell them it's actually an uppercase Q in cursive.
So no penmanship in school and barely any writing. Scantron? Yay, I can fill in bubbles with my trust No. 2. This even eliminates the chance to put at least a creative wrong answer. Tests are multiple choice and papers are typed. Spelling is dying out as well. By golly, we have spell check, so who nedes to lern how too splell? There is grammar check as well, although, I will let you know, I am typing this in Word and the grammar check did not pick up on the fact that the "too" is the previous sentence is used incorrectly. So we can't splell and don't know the difference between there, their, and they're. We use emoticons to express ourselves, but that's another tirade and I digress . . .
I honestly think Word can be dangerous to your health. I am guessing that emergency rooms have seen an upswing in head injuries caused by frustrated typists banging their head on their desk as they scream in anguish, "no, that is what I MEANT to type. Leave me along you pernicious paperclip pipsqueak!" I personally don't need a computer, a tangle of wires and silicon, to chide me for my writing style. I can do that myself just fine, thank you very much.
My coworkers tease me for the myriad of post-its littering my desk. "You know, there is a reminder and calendar through Lotus Notes . . ." they remind me. Thank you, but I prefer my blanket of post-its and the satisfaction of physically crossing out another day on my calendar.
So we don't write anymore. There aren't invitations; there are e-vites. Emailed thank you's instead of cards. Text messages instead of letters (driving up car crashes because I doubt, back in the day, many people wrote letters while behind the wheel). Instead of old handwritten journals, future anthropologists will wade through back-ups of LiveJournal entries. ("My, they were an angsty society, weren't they?" "I believe the term used then was 'emo', sir."). I just don't think the Declaration of Independence would be as awe-inspiring if it were a computer printout reading "When in the Course of human events , it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands :0 which have
connected them with another ;), and to assume among the powers of the earth . . ."
And so I end my missive and will reveal the irony, one of which is self-evident:
1. I typed this instead of writing.
2. For all of my whining about computers, I work - quite happily - as an IT tech.
Sincerely,
LegoSockPuppet
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-13 19:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Nyrea (user info) at 2007-08-13 14:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-13 12:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-08-13 12:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-13 08:51:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
she's talking about me here. i'm the king of self important smartassery. or at least a duke. a kickass duke.
haha, Tenacious D reference?
welcome n00b.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-08-13 01:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck YES! I just might win it.
Time left: 18 mins 51 secs
History: 4 bids
Current bid: US $91.00
Your maximum bid: US $98.00
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-08-12 13:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut up
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-08-12 09:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainObvious (user info) at 2007-08-12 04:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-08-11 13:50:29 CDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Be honest, how many times in the past have you started a sentence with a Q-word?
2uite a few, now that you mention it.
--
classy
Submitted by CaptainObvious (user info) at 2007-08-12 04:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-08-11 13:50:29 CDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Be honest, how many times in the past have you started a sentence with a Q-word?
2uite a few, now that you mention it.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-08-12 04:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"with my trust No. 2."
Trusty, maybe?
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-08-12 04:08:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LegoSockPuppet (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"The flood of -2 DIEs along with cut/paste definitions of irony will be along shortly I'm sure. "
That's cool, although I doubt anyone will really read this. There is no mention of boobs, sex, or penis.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-08-11 18:54:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Me like alot this post that is.
Last monday before going back to where I live and work I bought myself an old fashioned writing book in order to write like I once wrote.
Me too active in high tech environment and agree with thee.
Herzlich wilkommen zur Über!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-08-11 18:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Palmer Method, which is used to teach most American kids how to write in cursive, does have a capital Q that looks like a 2. Everyone has their own style, but the point here is that they don't even recognize the letter when it's written as they were taught in school.
http://www.nystamp.org/Ink29.jpg
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ah kk, haven't taught fancy writing over here for years and years.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-08-11 14:50:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Be honest, how many times in the past have you started a sentence with a Q-word?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-08-11 14:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-11 13:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Continue, n00b.
Submitted by blonde (user info) at 2007-08-11 14:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for this. I hate that stupid paperclip.
"Leave me along you pernicious paperclip pipsqueak!"
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-11 14:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So true.
Your own ratings never count on your own posts. And having the audacity to give yourself a (meaningless) rating above 0 is not suggested until you're no longer a n00b and have graduated to self-important, veteran smartassery.
====
she's talking about me here. i'm the king of self important smartassery. or at least a duke. a kickass duke.
welcome to uber.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-11 14:11:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-08-11 13:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Perhaps you should avoid criticising others handwriting if people can't understand yours......even if you're doing it like that on purpose......in fact purposely writing letters in a style that many people can't even tell which letter it's supposed to be....is a little mad.
===
The Palmer Method, which is used to teach most American kids how to write in cursive, does have a capital Q that looks like a 2. Everyone has their own style, but the point here is that they don't even recognize the letter when it's written as they were taught in school.
http://www.nystamp.org/Ink29.jpg
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-08-11 13:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Now I've had people ask me why I have a large 2 at the start of words and I have to gently tell them it's actually an uppercase Q in cursive."
Perhaps you should avoid criticising others handwriting if people can't understand yours......even if you're doing it like that on purpose......in fact purposely writing letters in a style that many people can't even tell which letter it's supposed to be....is a little mad.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-11 13:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh this was ok... But I've thought of this before.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LegoSockPuppet (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Your own ratings never count on your own posts. And having the audacity to give yourself a (meaningless) rating above 0 is not suggested until you're no longer a n00b and have graduated to self-important, veteran smartassery. "
Duly noted.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So true.
Your own ratings never count on your own posts. And having the audacity to give yourself a (meaningless) rating above 0 is not suggested until you're no longer a n00b and have graduated to self-important, veteran smartassery.
Welcome to Uber.
Submitted by LegoSockPuppet (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"The flood of -2 DIEs along with cut/paste definitions of irony will be along shortly I'm sure. "
That's cool, although I doubt anyone will really read this. There is no mention of boobs, sex, or penis.
Submitted by LegoSockPuppet (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
here's the irony:
you intentionally spelled words wrong in a post that was ALREADY riddled with typos.
Care to point them out so a girl can learn?
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The flood of -2 DIEs along with cut/paste definitions of irony will be along shortly I'm sure.
What you described is merely inconsistent, not ironic, but anyway.
First post with no mention of it being your first post, +0
First post containing some degree of effort/thought on your part, +0
LiveJournal version of the Declaration of Independence did make me smile, +1
All in all, I've seen far worse.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:03:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're right, they don't teach penmanship in schools any more, my handwriting is legible, it just looks like a 5 year old wrote it.
Computers are used for convenience, it's just quicker easier to lean how to touch type and type out all you essays and homework.
Heck I have a spell check on everything I write on the computer. I just can't spell. I think that's more to do with how your brain works though, so it's hard to teach.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-08-11 10:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
here's the irony:
you intentionally spelled words wrong in a post that was ALREADY riddled with typos.