things i have done that i should have lost my friends for by now (257 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.83 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <chrissonic.at.debbiel.karoo.co.uk> (View user info) at 2007-08-12 14:23:08 EDT
well, age 14, left handed, a love for horror films, and countless friends. what more can a kid ask for? however, i don't see how i still have my countless friends, in fact even A friend. i am not really the most loyal, sensible, trust-worthy, or courageous of friends, and by now, i look back over my years of having these dumb asses following me, and i look back over the crap i've done, and i think to myself-jesus, how am i not wanted dead by now by them??! you're probably now thinking "com on-you can't be that bad, go grab a chocolate bar and watch some TV you whining little bastard." or something along the lines of that. and it's for that reason, i thought i would share a small list of things i have done, to give you some kind of idea... (note: i swear everything bellow i have done. and if you feel you may recognise some of my antics from somewhere else, it's probably because i imitated it off TV or something at some point. and if you find some antics childish, it's probably because i'm telling some from my early childhood...and i am immature to this day aswell.)
1.) telling my friend "if your hand is bigger than your face, you've got cancer", then smacking his hand into his face as he tested it....
2.)...then telling him to try it on the nerdy kid next to him, watching him do it to the nredy kid, then laughed as it became apparent he'd done it too hard and gave the nerd a nosebleed, getting him into deep crap with the teacher.
3.) accidentally spilling cherryade on a girl sitting next to me's white dress, then quickly offering my seat to my friend, and offering him the remainder of my drink.
4.) quickly grabbing 20p from my friend's pocket as the girl launched at him, so i could buy a new drink
5.) texting a girl on my friend's phone to tell her my friend loved her and wanted to shove his tiny cock up her arse
6.) then after a few minutes remembering this girl was his sister
7.) ringing my friend's grandma from his phone (different friend, but i still didn't learn) and teling her to "suck my cock" while imitating my friend, and doing a damn good job
8.) breaking my friend's peg off his bike which i "borrowed", then painting a toilet tube and super gluing it on as a cover-up
9.) watching my frien'd girlfriend fall off the bike and break her arm after trying to do a stunt on the bike by standing on the pegs, and found it was better idea to record it n my phone instead of call an ambulance or something
10.) putting a leaf inside my frien'd sandwhich as he was eating it...then found out i had put in posion ivy (well something that made him get a rash i didn't really care)
11.) borrowing my friend's favourite toy (this time i was about 5, and this time i did ask) then "forgot" i was moving away a few 100 miles and "forgot" to return it.
12.)spitting on my friend's bag (and still to this day i wonder why, i'm sure there was a good reason why i did it, but i forgot)
13.)letting my friend play on GTA III when i went to his house, and as his mum and dad walked in, i sat in the corner craddling myself going "please *bleeped name*, turn it off, i don't like the blood, drugs, naked people and 'f' word..." (which of course was a lie, i wanted his parents to ban him playing 18 rated games so he'd stop mooching)
14.) pretending i was a vegetarian when i slept over at my friend's so his mum had to go out and buy a special veggie meal for me, spending £7, just on lil old me
15.) beating the living crap out of my friend's cousin in front of my friend. (i had a good reason for this, he touched my hat and i told him not to becuase it was my special new one with a dinosaur on it)
16.) skipping a whole year of P.E with a brilliant excuse (my ankles were fragile) then rubbing it in my friend's faces lesson after lesson (we have an evil teacher)
17.) throwing a water bomb at my friend's little brother, causing him to cry, my friend to get the blame, and me to start laughing alot
18.) deleting all my friend's sngs off his MP3 (all 678) and replacing them with songs off my sister and mum's CDs
19.) watching my friend get beaten up at school after he was caught listening to "barbie girl", and when my friend was on the floor, gettig his shoes ripped off, he calle "help me please!" and all i did was start chatting up a girl her fancied (she was fit, you would have done the same if you saw her ass)
20.) pissed on my friend's family's (and his) toothbrushes
21.) glueing my friend's entire month's work of revision together, page by page
22.) writing "pixy" in big letters acroos my friend's back (we all called him pixy, and he did ask me 2 sign his shirt)
23.) emptying my friend's entire pencil case and filing it with girly fruity pens (i had a reason for this, oh wait, no i don't)
24.) putting a magnet against my frien'd parent's tape casettes they'd bought years ago, all of them totalled up cost £60 quid i'd say ( you see, that little bit inside a tape that stores the sound can be completly wiped if it comes into contact with a magnet-i like to use science with my little jokes)
25.) putting a freakin massive spider in my friend's pants when camping, sadly it died and got squished into the pants, but his reaction was still hillarious
26.) making my friend say "there's no santa" just as his brother passed by his bedroom door (it took quick thinking to make him say it as his brother was in ear-shot, but it pulled off brilliantly)
27.) editing a picture of my friend's sister naked (she just left it lying about on her floor) by putting on a new head, then giving it to my friend...
28.) then letting my friend take it home for the night, then the next day, after telling him who it really was, i sat and watched him try to purposefully puke (i laughed)
29.) knocking my friend's guitar over, then running like hell after i heard a loud "crack" noise
30.) signing my friend up for the "gay is okay" club, also hading in a picture which was featured in their magazine (and i'm pretty sure i heard it was in the vilage local paprer, i sure hope it was!!)
so, there you have it. do you really still think i'm not all that bad? if you don't, you're probably retarded or hitler (or possibly jesus, he forgives sometimes) well if you do, i am open to all comments, and if you have any hate mail for me, pleae send it to the following adress:
UP MY ARSE-HOLE!!
thankyou for your time, please visit again soon-and enjoy this lovely picture of a cat that looks like hitler:
User Reviews
Submitted by evilgerbil666 (user info) at 2007-08-12 17:44:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
note-everyone excse beano-he's on his period bless him
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-08-12 17:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Member of Emerald Knights 21th level Celt Druid No master level information available for this character
Submitted by evilgerbil666 (user info) at 2007-08-12 17:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why thankyou fuck faces! :)
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-08-12 17:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thatkidej (user info) at 2007-08-12 15:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Get lost. Yer not even a n00b.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-12 16:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by evilgerbil666 (user info) at 2007-08-12 15:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks! glad you liked it too! :D
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2007-08-12 15:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well that's 2 minutes of my life I'm never getting back. Didn't bother reading it all.
Submitted by thatkidej (user info) at 2007-08-12 15:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-12 15:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish the cancer had killed me, then I wouldnt have had to read this.
Submitted by Hooli (user info) at 2007-08-12 15:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
die
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-08-12 15:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please die
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-08-12 15:08:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Capitals for the beginning of a sentence, capital I for talking in the first person, don't start sentences with a preposition... You know what? There's just too much.
Plus it sucked. It really sucked.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-12 14:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Huh, I always wondered what it would look like if the idiots from my old High School ever wrote anything.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-08-12 14:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by evilgerbil666 (user info) at 2007-08-12 14:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow-this rocks so much! i demand you all read it!
Submitted by ordinarychick (user info) at 2007-08-12 14:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't get past well,...
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-08-12 14:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment