Boozing, Cruising and a pimp with a Shotgun. (608 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.03 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Aussie_Ants_Is_Back (View user info) at 2007-08-12 23:37:31 EDT
It was a typical Friday night. I was Kicking back after work, having a few beers and waiting for the footy to start when my phone rang. It was my mate Kelly. He informed me that all the boys were going down to the local watering hole to have a few brews and watch the football. Never one to turn down a social gathering, i got changed and made my way to the Pub.
When i got there, a cold one was waiting for me on the table (How good's that for service). I said hello to my mates and sat down to watch the footy. It was a nailbiting game but in the end the Mighty Mighty Roosters laid waste to the Tigers in golden point time. What a fucking game, i was extatic and well err drunk. I told my mates we should go for a cruise down to bondi so we could chill on the beach and smoke a few celebratory doobies. They all agreed and Thommo who was the only sober one, grabbed my keys and offered to drive (Drink driving is something i do not condone, you could spill your drink and well there are sober kids in india with no alcohol so it just wouldn't be right). We piled into the car and away we went.
The beach was awesome. There was a nice warm breeze blowing, and the dutch went down so well. It really hit the spot. After a stoned game of 2 on 2 beach footy, we all decided to head back to the area and carry on drinking. This is when the fun starts. Thommo started my car and took off towards home. As we were cruising these two wankers pull up next to us at the lights in their little done up DOOF DOOF Shitbox. They look over at my car and give the gas a good thump. I get this problem alot, people see my car (A 1969 Ford Fairmont V8) and automatically feel the urge to race me. I look over at Thommo and say "give it a hit". Thommo thumps the gas and my engine roars. 3...2...1.... And we are off in a cloud of smoke.
I tell thommo to keep his foot down until i say otherwise. The two Nobs are strugling to keep up but are doing some major speed. "Hit the breaks Now" i yell. Thommo slams on the breaks and the tools come flying past us at about 120k an hour. All of a sudden a bright flash of light is seen by all in the car. The reason i told Thommo to stop the car was because i knew about the speed camera further down. Obviously the dickheads in the Doof Mobile were too busy thinking they had beaten me. Me and the guys almost burst into tears we were laughing so hard. With that we took our turn off and made our way back to the area.
While we are driving my mate Houch yells out "Slut Run". Thommo knows exactly what he means and we make our way to canterbury road to hang shit on the Hookers. We pull into a side street and pull up infront of a house with a red light on the porch. Within a few minutes a couple of hookers walk up to the car. Houch doesn't waste any time and strikes up a convo with the girls. He starts telling them that they should come work for him, and that their current employer/pimp is a dickhead etc etc. While this was going on, all of us failed to realise that one of the girls had gone inside the house. Five minutes later a big Arab, wearing a black singlet and Thick gold chains emerges from the house packing a shotgun. "You trying to steal my business Cunts" he yells as he cocks the shottie. CLICK.BOOOOOOOM, "Holy fuck, Drive thommo drive" i yell as the angry pimp reloads his shooter. Thommo puts the pedal to the metal and we take off like a bat out of hell (I've always wanted to use that).
We finally make it back to the pub after narowly escaping death. We order our drinks, take a seat and and clink our glasses together. "Heres to a great night fellas".
I actually have a hole in my car where one of the slugs hit. I will take a photo and post it soon. In the meantime here is what the pimp may or may not have looked like.
User Reviews
Submitted by Aussie_Ants_4.0 (user info) at 2007-08-13 18:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not my fault im Lisdexic !!!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-13 18:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-13 18:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-13 18:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
they have wiggers in Australia too - -W..T..F????
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-13 17:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
warriors FTW
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-13 16:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
this was pretty bad.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-13 13:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, I laughed
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-08-13 13:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1.4?
A poorly told mildly amusing anecdote recounted by a barely literate buffoon?
1.4?
Cereal?
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-08-13 02:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Messing around with hookers, an international past time
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-13 09:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-08-13 07:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What is this "footie" - Who are the "Roosters"? I sure hope you are talking about real football, ie played with the feet, rather than dirty Jewish Yank "hand ball".
Entertained me a little.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-13 05:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Your shift key and spell check seem to be fucked. I suggest you get it fixed.
But +1 for the Roosters. They're doing alright under Freddy...
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-08-13 02:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-08-13 02:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Messing around with hookers, an international past time.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-08-13 01:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck YES! I just might win it.
Time left: 18 mins 51 secs
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Submitted by Aussie_Ants_4.0 (user info) at 2007-08-12 23:46:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yep its me DC... I'm back, New and improved !!!
I have Lasers and junk
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-12 23:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lmao Gordon Freeman ftw
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-08-12 23:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought that pic was ali G for a minute, I have a vague memory of someone writing some decent freindly sutff on Uber ages back under tha name Aussie aNts.....but my memory has been known to be highly misleading.