Limited Power, 1 (411 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.23 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by lessthanthree (View user info) at 2007-08-13 10:16:50 EDT
I can't remember exactly when I noticed things were different for me, but it was early, that I do remember. I was somewhere in the bed-wetting stage when I noticed I had the uncanny ability to change things around me without much thought. I woke up once hovering in the air inches over a fresh urine soaked mattress and in a stupor I fell clumsily through the humid air back into the wet bed. Almost immediately, a few seconds give or take, the bed dried.
Some could view me as lazy because I'm not apt to the notion of walking. Why bother though, when flying is just as easy for me? When you walk you know where you are going, but the average pedant doesn't have to think cognitively through all of the steps, surely. Left thigh pull knee to bend, calf raise, foot pull, while right foot strides, push ground, forward motion, unison, calf descend, foot placement, knee straighten, left thigh rest, etc. etc. I don't really think about it when I fly.
I see where I want to go and my body just pulls itself off the ground. Before you know it, I'm hovering inches, feet, yards, miles off the ground and in transit. People get really freaked out when they see someone flying without being in the constraints of an airplane or other personal aircraft. I don't know about you, but I hate being cooped up in a jet, especially coach. It's like fucking sardines and god forbid you get stuck next to an idiot who blathers on about some minuscule personal detail. I'm not an affection ado for some random stranger and I certainly wouldn't be assed to care any more about you than the least possible I already don't, so please, spare us both and shut up. That's why I fly alone, outside a jet, with my own power. That and the view.
Have you ever flown around a city taking in the monolithic sights that buildings tend to have at a certain distance? It's breathtaking, really, but seeing these things traveling at the speed I do, with hairpin, razor sharp turns is something else. I don't let the laws of gravity, physics or aerodynamics shape me; hell no! That's too boring. I don't use my powers for good, however, it's too cliche. Not for bad either, but my powers are pretty righteous.
I can will my arm to become a block of ice--great for party tricks--and the other one a ball of fire. They're not all elemental because I can control the mind if I want. I tend not to fuck with people too much, however unless they are truly deserving. I like to remain within the aperture of normalcy as oft as possible, which theoretically isn't much, but I somehow manage.
Back to flying...
It's fun to feel the wind against your face, traveling so fast that your cheeks, nose, forehead, and chin have the skin rippling and flapping. You have to wear some kind of glasses or else your eyes get so dried out and it makes it hard for you to see, and the headaches. The headaches kill if your eyes get that dried out. They feel as though your head is going through a vice while you are pumped full of oxygen.
Let's not forget to mention that if you aren't wearing some sort of personal protection equipment (PPE) and a foreign object or debris gets you, you're fucked enough to be blinded if you were to catch it in the eye. I was flying over the Hudson Bay in Canada around 5 knots, slow enough to be playful doing mid-air somersaults, spins, twists, and you name it but I had a mid-air collision with a ladybug. That son of a bitch hit me just below my eye but it left a welt the size of a quarter for about 2 weeks. Nasty little bugger that was.
I've considered teaching people how to fly but thought it would be too lucrative and I don't need the money. I like the fakers though, they're a hoot. David Blaine, Chris Angel, the "future of magic" or more like the fakers of magic are ridiculous. Sure I could out them, but what good would that do other than to make me look like a skeptic.
Besides, they're better at fame than I am, even though I'm the true magician. I could do things that would get more "ooh's" and "ahh's" then they could ever imagine.
"For my next trick, I'll be turning into a giant dildo, slowly enough for you to see."
I'm not a somnambulist but I've been known to wake up where my dreams take me, whether that was by flying or some other means is unknown to me. I haven't honed in on teleportation, but perhaps soon enough I will master that one, too.
User Reviews
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-13 16:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 16:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Harry, you're so cool. And if you read, you can do that, right, I said that I'd indulge. I don't value anyone's opinion too much here. It's a cesspool of talentless hacks, myself included
----
I hear ya bro, I'm just giving you a hard time. And I know I'm cool, but your reinforcement is appreciated.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-13 16:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who gave this retard a password?
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 16:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Harry, you're so cool. And if you read, you can do that, right, I said that I'd indulge. I don't value anyone's opinion too much here. It's a cesspool of talentless hacks, myself included.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-13 15:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 15:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish I had the time to waste talking idly, chit chatting here and there with you, but as I said already I don't value you or your opinion.
-----
Yet, you keep coming back and defending yourself. This proves two things:
1. You have the time.
2. You value Fey's opinion.
3. You're an idiot. Evidenced by your continuing to defend yourself on what you called a "moot point" and a "dead horse" (I guess that 3 things)
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 15:41:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Harry, you truly are a muppet. Way to go, Dummy(figuratively and literally).
Fey, I'll indulge you and answer your "issue at hand." The point of this piece was to be written in tone akin to awkward because of the feeling the narrator has.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-13 11:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A List Of Words and Phrases taken from Your Story which are Incorrectly Used, Over-the-top or Simply Wrong (not definitive).
"not apt to the notion of walking" *I don't like walking* pretty self explanatory, i thought. Thank god you are here to correct me :)
"average pedant" *One of middle of the road aptitude--in context, one doesn't simply think about the mechanics of walking, they just do it* probably could've been better.
"think cognitively" *Actually thinking of your processes while doing them as explained above*
This does not equal walking; "Left thigh pull knee to bend, calf raise, foot pull, while right foot strides, push ground, forward motion, unison, calf descend, foot placement, knee straighten, left thigh rest, etc. etc." *if I asked any two people here to describe the sky in a sentence, I highly doubt that any two people would come up with the same description* here your personal opinion of whether this equals walking or not is not valued.
Try and avoid the use (and repetition) of "etc." in descriptive fiction. *fair enough*
"minuscule personal detail." *small detail that is one of the person who is sharing your flight*
"affection ado" (aficionado) *nope, didn't mean aficionado*
"wouldn't be assed to care any more about you than the least possible I already don't" *upon reviewing, this is very wordy*
"monolithic sights that buildings tend to have at a certain distance" *the views would have been a better choice but I either used it the sentence before or the same sentence, I think it fits quite nicely *
"I don't let the laws of gravity, physics or aerodynamics shape me; hell no!" (They already have.) *not in this piece...I have the ego?*
"They're not all elemental because I can control the mind if I want." *setting an example, and counteracting pre-determined though*
"I like to remain within the aperture of normalcy as oft as possible, which theoretically isn't much" *because I have these powers and I display them at times, it is almost impossible....because they aren't normal*
"and a foreign object or debris gets you, you're fucked enough to be blinded if you were to catch it in the eye." *wordy, yes, example yes*
There you have it. And while claiming I have an ego is quite true I believe it is you too that has an ego. You actually took the time to make yourself feel empowered over an internet stranger by pointing out the inadequacies in there writing when unasked, and without being goaded unless of course your name is "cum champ."
I think god gave you a gift, young lady. Be awesome and prosper.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-13 15:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-13 15:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-13 15:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You actually irritated me, so in an attempt to further your education, I'll break it down for you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 14:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I think you are missing the point."
The point would be easier to grasp if you stopped obscuring it with clumsy adjectives and words you don't know well enough to use correctly.
"If one person on this site who I'm sure to read every thing he/she posts likes my story than it's enough for me."
Now this was a graceful sentence wasn't it? Let's bathe in the eloquence of it before moving on... I'm sure I skimmed the reviews before rating, I must've missed it, who is the Master of Prose whose every word you hang on that endorsed this post?
"I don't need to validate my word choices/usage to someone who doesn't capture my attention on a regular basis or whose opinion I would value."
Translation; you'd like to be a circle jerker but just aren't good enough. And we mere mortals who have nothing but our rudimentary grasp of the language we're currently using to champion our cause, aren't good enough for you. Gotcha.
"Suffice it to say that you are wrong in most of the cases that you mentioned with a few exceptions, as noted."
I am wrong? Please, detail for me where and how. As noted? Oh good, you noted it. Then I no longer need to wonder.
"If it is completely awkward then that's different but reading for the context could easily overcome that."
Darling, while I appreciate a healthy ego, if I read this for content I'd have been far harsher to begin with. Instead, I attempted to be constructive.
"I appreciate your criticisms, everyone, good, bad, and indifferent, but I meant what I put."
Wow. You manage to be humbly arrogant. Such contortions in the personality cannot be entirely healthy.
"If you'd really like for me digress I could, but I feel as though I already spent enough time with this and as such won't be continuing the story."
No, I don't want you to digress. I want you to adress the issue at hand. And please don't read anything I've written as encouragement to continue the story. By all means continue to write, but please. Step it up a notch, mm?
"Once again, thank you."
Once again, you're welcome.
-----
pwnt X 2
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 15:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fey, you are irritated and beating a dead horse here, hun. The mere fact that you have broken down every word that is on this post says how absolutely bored you are. I took your comments in stride but surely you aren't stupid enough to argue a moot point are you? Are you? I never once said that my story didn't suck, so what's your point? You'd like to break down my reviews and get to the edge of the dichotomy driving me and my shitty writing?
I wish I had the time to waste talking idly, chit chatting here and there with you, but as I said already I don't value you or your opinion. Good luck with everything and have a great day. Cheers.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-13 15:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You actually irritated me, so in an attempt to further your education, I'll break it down for you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 14:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I think you are missing the point."
The point would be easier to grasp if you stopped obscuring it with clumsy adjectives and words you don't know well enough to use correctly.
"If one person on this site who I'm sure to read every thing he/she posts likes my story than it's enough for me."
Now this was a graceful sentence wasn't it? Let's bathe in the eloquence of it before moving on... I'm sure I skimmed the reviews before rating, I must've missed it, who is the Master of Prose whose every word you hang on that endorsed this post?
"I don't need to validate my word choices/usage to someone who doesn't capture my attention on a regular basis or whose opinion I would value."
Translation; you'd like to be a circle jerker but just aren't good enough. And we mere mortals who have nothing but our rudimentary grasp of the language we're currently using to champion our cause, aren't good enough for you. Gotcha.
"Suffice it to say that you are wrong in most of the cases that you mentioned with a few exceptions, as noted."
I am wrong? Please, detail for me where and how. As noted? Oh good, you noted it. Then I no longer need to wonder.
"If it is completely awkward then that's different but reading for the context could easily overcome that."
Darling, while I appreciate a healthy ego, if I read this for content I'd have been far harsher to begin with. Instead, I attempted to be constructive.
"I appreciate your criticisms, everyone, good, bad, and indifferent, but I meant what I put."
Wow. You manage to be humbly arrogant. Such contortions in the personality cannot be entirely healthy.
"If you'd really like for me digress I could, but I feel as though I already spent enough time with this and as such won't be continuing the story."
No, I don't want you to digress. I want you to adress the issue at hand. And please don't read anything I've written as encouragement to continue the story. By all means continue to write, but please. Step it up a notch, mm?
"Once again, thank you."
Once again, you're welcome.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-13 14:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"suffice it to say"? No. Not sufficient. You are arrogant and wrong.
With age, perhaps, will come the ability to back down from a mistake. Good luck with that.
You're welcome.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 14:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you are missing the point. If one person on this site who I'm sure to read every thing he/she posts likes my story than it's enough for me. I don't need to validate my word choices/usage to someone who doesn't capture my attention on a regular basis or whose opinion I would value. Suffice it to say that you are wrong in most of the cases that you mentioned with a few exceptions, as noted.
If it is completely awkward then that's different but reading for the context could easily overcome that. I appreciate your criticisms, everyone, good, bad, and indifferent, but I meant what I put. If you'd really like for me digress I could, but I feel as though I already spent enough time with this and as such won't be continuing the story.
Once again, thank you.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-13 14:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 13:44:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
D-H, actually no, because in most cases she is wrong with an exception or two. I just don't feel as though I need to explain.
Thanks, however.
_____
I'm listening.
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2007-08-13 14:07:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 13:44:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
D-H, actually no, because in most cases she is wrong with an exception or two. I just don't feel as though I need to explain.
Thanks, however.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-13 13:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-13 11:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A List Of Words and Phrases taken from Your Story which are Incorrectly Used, Over-the-top or Simply Wrong (not definitive).
"not apt to the notion of walking"
"average pedant"
"think cognitively"
This does not equal walking; "Left thigh pull knee to bend, calf raise, foot pull, while right foot strides, push ground, forward motion, unison, calf descend, foot placement, knee straighten, left thigh rest, etc. etc."
Try and avoid the use (and repetition) of "etc." in descriptive fiction.
"minuscule personal detail."
"affection ado" (aficionado)
"wouldn't be assed to care any more about you than the least possible I already don't"
"monolithic sights that buildings tend to have at a certain distance"
"I don't let the laws of gravity, physics or aerodynamics shape me; hell no!" (They already have.)
"They're not all elemental because I can control the mind if I want."
"I like to remain within the aperture of normalcy as oft as possible, which theoretically isn't much"
"and a foreign object or debris gets you, you're fucked enough to be blinded if you were to catch it in the eye."
-----
pwnt
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 12:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-13 12:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-13 11:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A List Of Words and Phrases taken from Your Story which are Incorrectly Used, Over-the-top or Simply Wrong (not definitive).
"not apt to the notion of walking"
"average pedant"
"think cognitively"
This does not equal walking; "Left thigh pull knee to bend, calf raise, foot pull, while right foot strides, push ground, forward motion, unison, calf descend, foot placement, knee straighten, left thigh rest, etc. etc."
Try and avoid the use (and repetition) of "etc." in descriptive fiction.
"minuscule personal detail."
"affection ado" (aficionado)
"wouldn't be assed to care any more about you than the least possible I already don't"
"monolithic sights that buildings tend to have at a certain distance"
"I don't let the laws of gravity, physics or aerodynamics shape me; hell no!" (They already have.)
"They're not all elemental because I can control the mind if I want."
"I like to remain within the aperture of normalcy as oft as possible, which theoretically isn't much"
"and a foreign object or debris gets you, you're fucked enough to be blinded if you were to catch it in the eye."
=========
<3
---
Thanks for the input, guys. I won't try to explain, I'll simply say thanks and continue by.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-13 12:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-13 11:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A List Of Words and Phrases taken from Your Story which are Incorrectly Used, Over-the-top or Simply Wrong (not definitive).
"not apt to the notion of walking"
"average pedant"
"think cognitively"
This does not equal walking; "Left thigh pull knee to bend, calf raise, foot pull, while right foot strides, push ground, forward motion, unison, calf descend, foot placement, knee straighten, left thigh rest, etc. etc."
Try and avoid the use (and repetition) of "etc." in descriptive fiction.
"minuscule personal detail."
"affection ado" (aficionado)
"wouldn't be assed to care any more about you than the least possible I already don't"
"monolithic sights that buildings tend to have at a certain distance"
"I don't let the laws of gravity, physics or aerodynamics shape me; hell no!" (They already have.)
"They're not all elemental because I can control the mind if I want."
"I like to remain within the aperture of normalcy as oft as possible, which theoretically isn't much"
"and a foreign object or debris gets you, you're fucked enough to be blinded if you were to catch it in the eye."
=========
<3
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-08-13 12:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
After fey's review can't give you a positive digit.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-13 11:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A List Of Words and Phrases taken from Your Story which are Incorrectly Used, Over-the-top or Simply Wrong (not definitive).
"not apt to the notion of walking"
"average pedant"
"think cognitively"
This does not equal walking; "Left thigh pull knee to bend, calf raise, foot pull, while right foot strides, push ground, forward motion, unison, calf descend, foot placement, knee straighten, left thigh rest, etc. etc."
Try and avoid the use (and repetition) of "etc." in descriptive fiction.
"minuscule personal detail."
"affection ado" (aficionado)
"wouldn't be assed to care any more about you than the least possible I already don't"
"monolithic sights that buildings tend to have at a certain distance"
"I don't let the laws of gravity, physics or aerodynamics shape me; hell no!" (They already have.)
"They're not all elemental because I can control the mind if I want."
"I like to remain within the aperture of normalcy as oft as possible, which theoretically isn't much"
"and a foreign object or debris gets you, you're fucked enough to be blinded if you were to catch it in the eye."
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2007-08-13 11:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Changing to -2 because you whinge like a bitch at justified reviews.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-13 11:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i see a lot of potnetnial in this with a LOT of revision. i'd say write more but give it thought before submitingmore without serious re reading to adoid inconsistency and well pointlessess. i mean ultimately where did this go?
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-08-13 11:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't think this was too bad.
However, it skipped between the serious and the off-the-cuff comments, which made it confusing as to which tone to read it in, which is sometimes OK, but the 'humor' points were not enough to carry the contrast.
This is now the longest review I have ever written.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 11:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks, dude. I said thanks for the input. What part of the "1" was hard for you? Perhaps in subsequent issues you'd see the limitation. Say, how do you jump guns?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-13 11:03:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Skrap, it is meant to be 'limited' but you could always think for yourself instead of riding the coattails of suckurge. It was an opening sequel to a story I was working on, but I'd just as soon not continue.
Thanks for the input, good or bad.
------
Ah. I wasn't riding coattails, just agreeing with previously expressed opinion and even providing an explanation since you asked. As you say that you meant to use "limited", I guess that the story was written in such a way as to disguise that to most if not all of the readers. Tell you what: I'll stipulate to your knowledge of the meaning of the word and revise my previous review to "Your story is badly written."
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Skrap, it is meant to be 'limited' but you could always think for yourself instead of riding the coattails of suckurge. It was an opening sequel to a story I was working on, but I'd just as soon not continue.
Thanks for the input, good or bad.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think the word at issue is "limited". Either you meant "unlimited" or your story is badly written.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh.
sound like somebody's been overdosing on Heroes recently.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 is lessthanthree.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and what word would that be, cum champ?
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
generally one is expected to understand the definition and proper usage of a word before they attempt to use it.
with you this is obviously not the case.
it would seem your power lies in butchering the fuck out of my language.
should have left the blank one.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
generally one is expected to understand the definition and proper usage of a word before they attempt to use it.
with you this is obviously not the case.
it would seem your power lies in butchering the fuck out of my language.
should have left the blank one.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-13 10:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
generally one is expected to understand the definition and proper usage of a word before they attempt to use it.
with you this is obviously not the case.
it would seem your power lies in butchering the fuck out of my language.
should have left the blank one.