Employment: Fuck Yeah! (1416 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.28 on 73 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun: Properly Employed! (View user info) at 2007-08-14 13:45:20 EDT
Remember the masterpiece that got on B@W and got a bunch of you talentless bitches all upset?
No?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110211
+++++++++++++++++++++
Now that you've enjoyed that once more, delight and revel in my happiness knowing that I have got the job I wanted and am sporting an incredible erection because of this. So fierce and masterful is my phallus that I have had to balance my laptop on my bell-end.
This is both uncomfortable and inconvenient as typing is very tricky.
That's not a concern right now as I'm still basking in the glory of having a slightly overweight Irish gentleman tell me that
"If you'd like to proceed, we'd be happy to give you the job"
I could barely contain myself as I wanted this more than I wanted your mother. In the end, she was willing so it was easy, but waiting for news that has pretty much everything to do with your future is nerve shredding. He seemed pleased with my enthusiasm as I practically shouted
"FUCK YEAH!" (Team America style) down the phone at him.
The best thing about it is that the interview was conducted in two parts. The first, a formal sit down thing, let's have a look at your portfolio, tell us why we should hire you, etc. was a doddle. Charmed the bollocks off them with my Northern soul and grit. Piece of piss.
The second part was a mini brief to create a Halloween poster for the all night party that's planned for October. My design, as you'll see below, is fucking incredible. The guy who told me was practically weeping with happiness for me; yes, it is that fucking good. There was me and one other candidate at this stage apparently. Clearly, he submitted a pile of bollocks as I made mine through a hangover in about an hour. Legend.
I feel bad for the other guy, especially if he knows he was beaten by a scruffy 21 year old with a weird accent and a shit eye-brow!
Later I shall go to the pub, and raise my head blearily at 7 am tomorrow to join the professional masses commuting to work. I can hardly wait.
I can now happily raise a middle finger to the shitty freelance work I was doing and get stuck in to this, which from what I can tell is going to be pretty challenging and awesome.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-16 14:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kthnxbye.
Submitted by big_spliff_smoker (user info) at 2007-08-16 08:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that you've enjoyed that once more, delight and revel in my happiness knowing that I have got the job I wanted and am sporting an incredible erection because of this. So fierce and masterful is my phallus that I have had to balance my laptop on my bell-end.
That is FUCKING funny man!
Well done on the job.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-16 05:49:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-16 10:40:21 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
You may has cheezburger. I'll even keep Molly off of it.
======
KTHXBYE.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-16 05:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You may has cheezburger. I'll even keep Molly off of it.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-16 05:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-16 10:08:35 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
get to work you bum!
=====
I am working, dickless!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-16 05:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
get to work you bum!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-16 04:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-16 09:52:38 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
So you won't be minding my trolley from Molly? Well done, congratulations, I'm being happy for people this week.
==========
Well, can I still has cheezburger?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-16 04:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So you won't be minding my trolley from Molly? Well done, congratulations, I'm being happy for people this week.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-16 04:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unemployed two below.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 20:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2007-08-15 20:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I dunno what you're really talking about, but..okay.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-08-15 03:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Carling @ £1.50??
Shit man, go to Durham and it's Old Speckled Hen at that price.
---------
Old Speckled Hen is a fine sauce. I get it on occasion, when the boozarama has it in stock.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-15 09:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:00:31 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
1.50 for a pint of Carling?
I'm fucking there man!
Well, in spirit anyways...
======
99p Tuesdays is better. All drinks 99p for 12 hours of drinking.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-15 09:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.50 for a pint of Carling?
I'm fucking there man!
Well, in spirit anyways...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-15 08:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I HAVE MINIONS TO DO MY BIDDING. BWAHAHAHAAHA.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2007-08-15 06:08:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2007-08-15 05:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hippie, go find a jo.... oh.
Tax dodger
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-15 04:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-08-15 08:55:48 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
Carling @ £1.50??
Shit man, go to Durham and it's Old Speckled Hen at that price.
---
Durham is Shit.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-08-15 04:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not much older than you, you know.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-08-15 03:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Carling @ £1.50??
Shit man, go to Durham and it's Old Speckled Hen at that price.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-08-15 02:48:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on the job.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-08-14 19:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For some reason I thought you, Emission and I were the same age. My kung fu is bad. All is not lost, now I'm now the one (temporarily) unemployed!
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-08-14 19:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hokayyy
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-14 19:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Back-to-work +2. Obligatory linkwhore to my similar story - http://www.ubersite.com/m/77976
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sacri is a craddle snatcher!! good on ya!! Night tufty by the way!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Indeed! Though I shall be 22 in December. *weep*
===
Why weep?
My current touchy-feely-type-friend-person is 22, which is much younger than me, but working out well for both of us.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Too drunk to be coherent/funny below.
GOOD NIGHT SIRS.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It wasn't a comeback, i never left!
that sounded funny in my head
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lame come-back below.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Har Har!! That guy in '40 year old virgin' is not good enough looking to play me.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-14 23:18:54 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
HBTS...21.....when will you lose your virginity? I hear Billy Connely is single!!
=======
Fuck off. I hear that '40 Year Old Virgin' was based on your (LARPing) life story.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im 30 and look 21, get me.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:18:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HBTS...21.....when will you lose your virginity? I hear Billy Connely is single!!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 18:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-14 22:57:50 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-08-14 17:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're...you're only 21? *sigh*
=========
Indeed! Though I shall be 22 in December. *weep*
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-14 17:57:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-08-14 17:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're...you're only 21? *sigh*
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-14 17:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
congrats on the job.
also, you're only 21? you look 30, you old busted fucker.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-08-14 17:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're...you're only 21? *sigh*
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-14 16:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dude ........
How did you get a picture of my boss?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-14 16:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sunny, please inform us what positive contribution you have to life or this site, complete no one. You guys make the fire inside me burn fiercer.
--
My positive contribution to Uber is - oh wait a minute, positive contributions to Uber are like being proud of dating the hottest fat chick in a group.
As for life.....you write on livejournal ...I'm here because I'm bored at a cushy job I have and I haven't even graduated yet. Good to know you spend your free time here, jackass.
If this is an alter, you got me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No...have you finished gargling the gobbly goo yet?
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Have you guys finished having your fun yet?
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sunny, please inform us what positive contribution you have to life or this site, complete no one. You guys make the fire inside me burn fiercer.
---
It might be because of the gonorrhea your boyfriend gave you last week.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WELL PLAYED, EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
----------------------------------
*dies*
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WELL PLAYED, EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sunny, please inform us what positive contribution you have to life or this site, complete no one. You guys make the fire inside me burn fiercer.
---
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA GOOD SHOW!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 20:17:09 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sunny, please inform us what positive contribution you have to life or this site, complete no one. You guys make the fire inside me burn fiercer.
======
Oh fuck off back to liveJournal gayboy.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sunny, please inform us what positive contribution you have to life or this site, complete no one. You guys make the fire inside me burn fiercer.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-14 20:15:54 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Colin Murray is a Cunt
======
I know. I hope I meet him so I can tell him that in person.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:15:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Colin Murray is a Cunt
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:11:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 20:06:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
haikumikoo and sunnyg:
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-13 20:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
An alter is a username.
And, of course, whomever gives you a negative rating.
=---
And so what if I'm emo, at least I have a job, tardo.
--------
Yeah, at least you have a job. Or else you'd be a total waste of life, not just 99% waste.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, sorry, I forgot the complimentary -2....on me, of course.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 20:06:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
haikumikoo and sunnyg:
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-13 20:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
An alter is a username.
And, of course, whomever gives you a negative rating.
=---
And so what if I'm emo, at least I have a job, tardo.
===========
I have a job and I'm not emo. FLAWLESS VICTORY.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:08:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://azurefroz.livejournal.com/
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
azurefroz = emo faggot.
---------
Allow me to throw in azurefroz's choice entry from this link, I really peed a little when I read it:
"it's like what a good movie does without me being able to articulate. i guess i've really been feeling lonely."
If this is an alter, someone went through great lengths to make sure it's a fucking GOOD one. If it isn't, well, gtfo.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 15:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haikumikoo and sunnyg:
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-13 20:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
An alter is a username.
And, of course, whomever gives you a negative rating.
=---
And so what if I'm emo, at least I have a job, tardo.
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://azurefroz.livejournal.com/
Now this is just too fucking funny. I imagine this guy has the whole lop-sided haircut and everything.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:50:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-14 11:46:41 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:42:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yay, you got a job, welcome to the real world, loser! Is this your first "real" job or have you been laid off that long? How was mummy's basement?
---
So which alter is this twat?
=====
I don't know but he sure seems kind of "sick", yup, a huge "sico" oops, I forgot the k, guess it's too late now
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://azurefroz.livejournal.com/
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
azurefroz = emo faggot.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh, all posters for things like that look the same to me...
Good luck with your seemingly good luck as of late though...
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:42:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yay, you got a job, welcome to the real world, loser! Is this your first "real" job or have you been laid off that long? How was mummy's basement?
---
So which alter is this twat?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 19:42:22 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yay, you got a job, welcome to the real world, loser! Is this your first "real" job or have you been laid off that long? How was mummy's basement?
=========
Fuck you, shitlips. If you'd read the 'Unemployed' post, you'd know that I have been working whilst studying for the past 4 years.
How's minimum wage twat?
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:42:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yay, you got a job, welcome to the real world, loser! Is this your first "real" job or have you been laid off that long? How was mummy's basement?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Rejection (user info) at 2007-08-14 19:38:40 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
The poster is shit.
Pity +2.
========
You know I bet that's what they thought when they gave me a job because of it?
"Yeah, he sucks now, but I can definitely see potential! Let's give him a chance."
"I agree."
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:39:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats!
Submitted by Rejection (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The poster is shit.
Pity +2.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:37:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well if it isn't the leader of the weiner patrol, boning up on his nerd
lessons!
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:25:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-08-14 19:24:09 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats.
Strathclyde Student Union is pretty damn awesome. Although the QMU does get better bands.
===========
Thus far all I know is that it's a fucking confusing building to walk about in, and there's an awesome Polish guy called Peter who does security.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats.
Strathclyde Student Union is pretty damn awesome. Although the QMU does get better bands.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-08-14 14:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-08-14 13:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Top stuff - nice work getting a job.
and cool poster too.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-14 13:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Not
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-14 13:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh, talentless bitches.