An Adventure In Knitting (1488 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.59 on 75 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Progr3ss (View user info) at 2007-08-15 08:47:34 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-08-18 06:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111055#2502053
Have you actually read the post? The second one from the top, just after bartbart.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-08-17 05:57:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I almost got duped into a similar scheme for a Lord of the Rings chess set. I don't play chess, but it was really well made and had a kick ass board.
Having calculated that I'd have spent about £390 on the thing, I decided against it.
Submitted by SleepyStitch (user info) at 2007-08-17 05:04:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wicked Wow
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2007-08-16 06:28:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
get
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-08-16 05:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-08-16 05:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
c'mon. you couldn't have figured out after the first square how to make the rest of them?
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-16 04:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-16 15:25:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-16 15:25:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
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WOW My highest rating from Uny...
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-16 01:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-16 01:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-08-15 20:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha... great. B@W.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:41:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your promotion saved you from the dreaded +1. It's my "be happy for other people" week. Proofread.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
eh - I'm slacking now - avoiding work
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes... the salt from your tears was absorbed into my skin as I tried to comfort you.
I *am* feeling bloaty and gross.
*grins*
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwa!! Good one!
Whassa matter Crys? Feeling bloated again?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uturi? Uturuses?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Welp, guess it all comes back to uterusususes
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my damn, the "barren" taunts are being thrown about now.
I'm ducking for cover. Save yourselves.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: FaG
From: CrystAl
re: Re: "$)(*&%$$(*&^)"
At least I'm literate. And ovulate.
SMOOCHIES,
~ C
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: CrystAl
From: FG
Re: "$)(*&%$$(*&^)"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
X-Mas Goose,
Bicth Pleaze!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Attn: Everyone
Re: Noonie
Point and laugh when time allows.
Yours in nipples,
Orgasmatron
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
$)(*&%$$(*&^)
can't believe I messed that up.
Any how - Katy and Licious, you are both welcome to be jelous anfry bicthes as well.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:03:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Everyone
Re: re: Re: re: You being a total gloid; spelling
Just for the record, Forensic is the anfry, jelus bicth. NOT me. And O-man wasn't actually backtracking this time.
search for "despina" and "anfry" "jelous" or "bicthes"
(in this case, there ARE two spellings for "jelus")
Squeezes,
FG
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys are crazy....
Please don't change.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Anyone
Re: re: Re: You being a total gloid
Just for the record, Crystle is the anfry, jelus bicth. NOT me.
Hugz,
FG
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:19:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Noonie
Re: re: Re: You being a total gloid
No really. Ask either of them about the word.
While you're at it ask them about "anfry" and "jelus" too.
Thanks for paying attention. Now go pick up your Levofloxacin prescription, I'm sure it's full now.
Smooches,
O
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:01:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
to: o
re: Re: You being a total gloid
you really suck at backtracking.
cheers,
katy
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Noonie
Re: You being a total gloid
"Bicht" is the peppermint center of the chocolate covered relationship that My Fair Crystle and Forensic Hot Rod Hearse Girl have. Please get with the program before spreading your assumptions as if they're your last bout of g. warts.
Kthxbye,
O Toad
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
to: o
re: tard hands
it's "bitches" not "bichtes".
bitch.
cheers,
katy
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: sac
re: re: Anal Prolapse Porn
no thanks, i'm still working my way through the barnyard butt bangs series. will keep you in mind though.
cheers,
katy
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Katy
re: Anal Prolapse Porn
I'm sure you know, but it exists. I don't want to talk about it, but I can direct you if you've exhausted your resources.
Love,
Lishy
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: The Bichtes
Re: Your recent inquiry and BLAAAAARF
Just be happy I said not a word about a speculum, or pregnancy and medical shears.
Best,
O
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and may I add "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF" ?
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Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 10:37:35 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Berty and O-tron
From: Forensic Girl
Subject: Your conversation
______________________________
What the hell is wrong with you two?!?!
Ew.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To: Berty and O-tron
From: Forensic Girl
Subject: Your conversation
______________________________
What the hell is wrong with you two?!?!
Ew.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:31:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have not seen nearly as many porn bloopers as i'd like to. and it's still not anal prolapse porn.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Truth below.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Besides, we're all a little gay.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't fault me for having an active imagination, Porn Queen.
Between the two of us I have a feeling you've seen more facesitting and accidental/intentional queefing. And I don't know what that makes you.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
are you sure you aren't just a little gay O? you seem to know too much about butt/face collisions.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yes I would Orgas! Have you ever sucked the juices out of a woman on the rag? I tell you it is MAGNIFICENT! The very fluid of life itself! It's proper tangy.
---
*HAVE* I???? Sample these, o fine and select member of Rainbow Kiss Nation.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91705
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97519
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91873
You know what the worst part of the prolapse is?
It's not the spongy-slime texture of forced out innards sitting in the open air like a knot on a rotted stretch of wood. It's not even the grapefruit-like look of the thing that used to be a puckered crinkle throbbing with lifeblood and the promise of interior delights.
Quite frankly, it's the smell.
The end.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SO GLAD I CHOSE TO GO BACK TO THIS ITEM SO I COULD SEE THAT THANKYOUVERYMUCH!!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
otron and berty could be two of the world's greatest serial killers.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-15 13:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yes I would Orgas! Have you ever sucked the juices out of a woman on the rag? I tell you it is MAGNIFICENT! The very fluid of life itself! It's proper tangy.
Prolapse would be the same but extra chunky.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-15 12:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:39:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would you eat a douchbag for a million dollars? I mean yeah, it'd be nasty and yeah, you'd basically be a whore, but that is an awful lot of money.
I dunno though, seems like it'd be one of those 'you only know what you're made of when it happens' kind of moments; like "would you be able to eat your girlfriend if you were trapped on a mountain?".
---
The real question is this: for five million dollars, would you let a woman prolapse into your mouth?
It can be a woman you know - though I don't think you'd wish a prolapse on anyone you were friends or lovers with. If it's not a woman you know you can still pick the woman. After all, it's a serious deal here.
You'd have to arrange yourself in a comfortable position. I don't care how, provided that once you're settled your mouth is sealed around her o-ring. Then, she pushes and forces her prolapse blossom right into your mouth. YOU MUST PRESERVE THE INTEGRITY OF THE ORAL SEAL. This is key. Otherwise, no money. Yes, you can breathe through your nose. No, you can't stop until it's been a full sixty seconds.
You want to talk abot finding out if you've got what it takes to call yourself a man??
This, my friend, is the fucking acid test.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-15 12:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:39:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would you eat a douchbag for a million dollars? I mean yeah, it'd be nasty and yeah, you'd basically be a whore, but that is an awful lot of money.
I dunno though, seems like it'd be one of those 'you only know what you're made of when it happens' kind of moments; like "would you be able to eat your girlfriend if you were trapped on a mountain?".
I guess it'd all depend on how fat your girlfriend is. Man, imagine that eh? You'd have to eat her tits, man. That'd be both horrible and glorious at the same time. Kind of like an extreme childhood regression in a kind of 'The Hills Have Eyes' context. Heh, you could even complete the experience by wearing her womb as a bobble hat...
Sorry, what were we talking about again?
===
If I'd read this without looking, I would have sworn Orgasmatron wrote that review.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 12:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GODDAMMIT BERTY! You high falutin' sonofabitch. You win. From this day forward I will refer to you as Bocephus the Hillbilly.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-15 12:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jansen you only say that because you like to hurt people. You should, however, know that I am grounded in reality, right up to the bollocks, and thus I am completely impervious to your barbed words.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 12:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, youd make for a good redneck.
____________________________________________________
Im very temtped to retract this statement. The only way to redeem yourself now is to eat a chopped beef barbecue sandwich for dinner.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-15 12:17:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 12:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What about the sweet tea, Berty?
----------
I ordered one when we went to Folks, but they brought me something with ice cubes in it. I smiled at the waitress and repeated my order but she kept trying to insist that the had brought me tea. Despite my heroic efforts to communicate my order I was forced to resign myself to the fact that she was far too hopelessly Hispanic to comprehend the English language. I let her know loudly and clearly that she should bring me a Coca Cola.
I didn't drink it, of course. One should never put anything in your mouth after you've asked a waiter/tress to actually bring you what you want. Obviously I didn't tip, but I did pass my compliments to the chef for the remarkably prepared onion.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 12:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What about the sweet tea, Berty?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-15 12:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty's back on form! WOOOOOO
also - I know how to knit, but I don't. I crochet. And if you don't buy all the magazines and just go off on a tangent and just buy the "wool" you'll end up with a SLIGHTLY overpriced throw, rather than a MONSTEROUSLY overpriced throw.
it's about the journey! THE JOURNEY!!
*cue music* BIG WHEEL KEEP ON TURNIN....
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, youd make for a good redneck.
--------
You have no idea how much that warms the very living cockles of my heart, Jansen. I actually spent 3 months in the state of Georgia living amongst caucasian southerners trying to get the idiosyncracies just right.
I'd like to thank Arby's chicken for their peerless honey mustard sauce and that 14 year old kid for letting me bang his hot mum. Dude, if you're reading this then I hope everything came up golden with he scoutmaster.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, youd make for a good redneck.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:39:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would you eat a douchbag for a million dollars? I mean yeah, it'd be nasty and yeah, you'd basically be a whore, but that is an awful lot of money.
I dunno though, seems like it'd be one of those 'you only know what you're made of when it happens' kind of moments; like "would you be able to eat your girlfriend if you were trapped on a mountain?".
I guess it'd all depend on how fat your girlfriend is. Man, imagine that eh? You'd have to eat her tits, man. That'd be both horrible and glorious at the same time. Kind of like an extreme childhood regression in a kind of 'The Hills Have Eyes' context. Heh, you could even complete the experience by wearing her womb as a bobble hat...
Sorry, what were we talking about again?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:39:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wool manipulation.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Stewardess"....interesting.
I'm going to stay out of this thread now. It is preventing me from snoozing on the job.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Great comeback douchebag!
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Complete stewardess of cock and balls, below.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe one day Ill find it in my black, moldy heart to forgive you. Until then he's a cock loving faggot
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:15:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gee, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to. Maybe this is why my professor and classmates throw things at me when I get going with my anal retentive, OCD, tangents.
One of them: "Dang! It's hotter than a 2-peckered Billy Goat out there!"
Me: "I don't think that's possible unless you're talking about a goat with genetically mutated genitalia. And if that's the case then............"
One of them: *throwing a small missle* Oh just shut up!
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Boy is my face red.
Fuck. Your guess is as good as mine. From here on out I will refer to said "Cock loving faggot" as "shit-wrapped-in-skin who loves the cock" to prevent any misunderstanding or embarrassment on my part. Forensicgirl, once again you have ruined my day and made me feel like less of a man. Thanks a million.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.75?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 10:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not particularly. I just like taxonomy and believe everything should be clearly defined and assigned to their proper classes.
So, you have "faggots" that love the "stink hole" as you call it, and "faggots" that love the "cock."
Now, on to "faggots." It is my understanding that there are sub-classes of homosexuals. You have; fairies, bears, cubs, leathers, and so on.
When you say "faggot" are you using that as an umbrella classification, or do "cock loving faggots" belong to one of the above classes or do they have their own.
You can tell I'm bored. I want to fall asleep here at my desk. I have an impressive looking spreadsheet open so maybe they won't notice.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 10:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Its to my understanding that some love the stink-hole and some love the cock. In this particular instance I believe its the cock. Does that kind of dirty talk make your taco saucy?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 10:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not meaning to be a hair-splitting smartass but don't ALL "faggots" love the cock?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-08-15 10:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No way is Uber worth that much.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-08-15 10:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cock loving faggot below
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-15 10:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yawn.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-15 10:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm everyone too!
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-08-15 10:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just learned how to knit hats for babies with cancer... It seemed like a project that would make one feel good, but just made me depressed.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-15 09:48:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cuz i just relearned to knit.
Submitted by fidelcity (user info) at 2007-08-15 09:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 09:38:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 "naked pelican."
+2 because you remind me that I really need to buy another printer.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-08-15 09:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment