Another Short List of Things That Truly Bother Me... But Probably Shouldn’t (1686 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.72 on 81 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by _Q_ (View user info) at 2007-08-15 14:02:49 EDT
1. How the sugar in coffee always settles to the bottom, no matter how well it is stirred. Free office coffee tastes like ass, do you think I put the sugar in there for my own health? If I am going to be drinking ass, it has to be at least semi-sweet ass. I have standards, for fucks sake.
2. "Competitive" job offers. You see, to me a job offer falls into one of two categories: good or shit. Guess which one a "competitive" offer falls into.
3. Popcorn kernel skin getting stuck in my gums.
4. Hurricane names. Always brutal. Case in point: Flossie. What. The. Fuck.
5. Irregularly spelled names. Even something as simple as Mat instead of Matt. How novel, now here is your parent of the year award... SLAP!
6. The La Leche League.
7. Make that ANY league that does not have to do with sports or nautical measurement.
8. Condom reek.
9. Shitty novelty license plates. "2FST4U"? No thanks, I'm trying to cut back on my fisting, but thanks for the offer. Get off the road, fuckwad!
10. The way Anderson Cooper breathes in REALLY HARD in between his sentences.
11. The general lack of afros in our society today.
12. How American Anthem signers always seem to feel free to add their own little pizzazz into the arrangement.
13. Business names that end with a "z".
14. The increasingly inaccurate/poor search results that google's engine is providing.
15. Ticketmaster. FUCK TICKETMASTER.
16. When I get a waiter at a restaurant that is notorious for its hot FEMALE waitresses. Especially if he SHAVES HIS FUCKING CHEST AND WAXES HIS EYEBROWS!!
17. Febreeze.
18. When the caramel part of a chocolate bar runs out inside of the wrapper, so the wrapper gets stuck to it and you miss all of the caramel goodness.
19. Awesome junk food that gets discontinued when crap like "Big Turk" and "Eatmore" is still "rollin' strong"! RIP Thunder Crunch Chips, Tahiti Treat, et al.
20. The joy on the faces and in the laughter of people who are playing pick up games of whatever in a random park/field. Fuck you, your joy, AND that shitty Frisbee.
21. Shops that close down 5 minutes before their posted hours. Yes, I know that the people who work there probably hate guys like me that show up 5 minutes before they close, but guess what? That's what you get for not paying attention in school and ending up at a dead end retail job.
22. Emo hair. That shit is the worst.
User Reviews
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2008-04-04 14:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"2. "Competitive" job offers. You see, to me a job offer falls into one of two categories: good or shit. Guess which one a "competitive" offer falls into. "
I've been fucked over by my fair share of 'competitive' job offers as well...
Haven't seen you in a while buddy, what is up?
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-24 04:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read your arguments and then realised that your just playing dumb to get the hits and ratings by making me angry.
Well played. Have a +2.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-08-23 14:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There has never been one case ever in the history of the universe that two seperate molecules forced together have passed by one another without bonding. Yeah, sometimes a catalyst is needed, like with water and oil, but what your implying is that I could take bourbon and coke, pour them both into a glass and then pour them back out again seperatley.
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That is a bold statement my friend. So when one compresses a gas to put it into liquid form, are new bonds being created? At what point do weak intermolecular effects become chemical bonds? These concepts are not interchangable... at least in terms of this discussion.
No, I am not implying that you can mechanically separate a CHEMICAL SOLUTION, other techniques need to be applied. For instance, you could very well separate the bourbon from the coke by taking advantage of the lower boiling point of the alcohol. The problem is that the alcohol will dissociate in the water, it is a solution... separation of a solution is more difficult than a mechanical mixture (such as oil and water).
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And where do you buy your dissolved sugar from? Because if, by your statement, the dissolved sugar doesn't stay mixed with the coffee, then it must have been dissolved previously. By definition dissolved anything, is a new molecule structure.
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The sugar dissolves in the water.
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And at what point is brewed coffee aka water? I have never in my life asked for a glass of water in a cafe and been served coffee.
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I was basically making an argument that density wise, when compared to sugar in water, coffee in water is about the same as just water if not lighter.
My MAIN point is that sugar in water is more dense than coffee, hence why it settles to the bottom. This is a measurable and repeatable observation! How you continue to not believe me is very strange. Try it for yourself.
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"I'd like you to prove that a pot of coffee has a notable difference in density when compared to water at the same temperature"
Now to prove my point on the density levels. [... thanks for the lesson on SI, bonerface] At this temperature water (in it's purest form) has a density of 1000kg/cu.m and Coffee beans (roasted) have a density of 432kg/cu.m . I have used pure water as tap water is only minor in difference, some .056 of a g/cu.cm . [...] At say 60 degrees Cel. the density of water is 983.2kg/cu.m . I'm not sure what the exact density of coffee beans is at this temperature but the change would also be minor. Probably around 420kg/cu.m . When you grind the beans, the density doesn't change as you are not changing the molecular structure. You know that old joke about what's heavier, a ton of lead, or a ton of feathers? Same thing here.
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Yeah, your assumptions are good here for the water... where did you get the density of coffee beans?
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Once you collide these two seperate molecular structures of different density levels, the resulting density level is somewhere in between. Coffee beans diluted in water at a temperature of 60 degrees Cel. has a density level of approx. 840kg/cu.m . Difference of 143kg/cu.m .
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I'll agree with you that a mechanical mixture ends up with a density level 'somewhere in between' the components of the mixture, but a solution does not necessarily behave the same way. When you add sugar or salt to water, the resulting mixture is MORE dense, not somewhere in between the density of water and the density of salt.
Therefore, if what you are saying is indeed true, and that brewed coffee is a mechanical mixture of suspended coffee bean particles in water (an entirely different animal than a true chemical solution), and has a SIGNIFICANT difference in density to pure water... we should be discussing diffusion tendencies of dissolved sugar molecules when in the presence of suspended coffee bean particles. Either way, it seems that coffee and sugar do not like each other.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-08-23 13:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-17 20:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
[...]
Furthermore, I'd like you to prove that a pot of coffee has a notable difference in density when compared to water at the same temperature, because I am not buying that "coffee is nowhere fucking near the same density as water".
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***"I understand basic chemistry"***
"I was never referring to a drinking a super saturated solution of sugar in coffee in the post"
Granted you did not refer to an actual super saturated coffee solution, but you did say that it would settle no matter how well the coffee was stirred. Ergo, it becomes super saturated.
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I have to disagree with your logic here. The sugar is still in solution while it is on the bottom of the cup, so it is definitely NOT super saturated in the water.
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"The stirring is to keep the dissolved sugar well mixed with the rest of the coffee, but it always settles to the bottom of the cup within a small amount of time."
You do understand that when you mix another set of molecules into a solution it bonds together don't you?
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How so? When you dissolve something like salt in water, the crystal structure of the solute dissociates and is free to circulate in the solution. Perhaps there is weak interaction between molecules, but no new bonds form. New bonds will form via solution if there are ions present that tend to form precipitates in those conditions, but not before that. I think you are confused on this point.
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[...] By saying that the sugar isn't actually dissolved within the coffee, as would be the case if it settles to the bottom, is retarded. When you mix a set of molecules together, especially at higher temperatures, they join.
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The sugar is dissolved in the water, not in the coffee. I will explain further when I get to your logic at arriving at the density of the coffee/water mixture.
(con't)
Submitted by CarterPFly (user info) at 2007-08-20 13:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-16 21:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like that it's enzymes. I thought it had something that bonded to whatever the molecule was and then it dropped to the ground. Maybe that's something else...
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You're thinking of a de-ionizer thingy that makes dust and pollen and shit like that just drop to the ground by doing the thingy with the ions and makes them not floaty, eh yea. I know scyence me.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-08-20 12:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
febreeze is for people that smoke. that way you can conceal the aroma of cigarettes with piss-scented windex you spray on your sofa.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-08-18 14:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110993#2500922
Looks like we have a new ETS.
Are febreze the IRS and the little lids on coffee mug industries all ganging up on you?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-08-18 14:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-08-18 12:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There are more than enough afros around here.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-17 23:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
and I thought *I* was being a chemistry geek....
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-17 20:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I guess I wasn't originally clear enough for you. I was never referring to a drinking a super saturated solution of sugar in coffee in the post, or in my reply.
I am talking about a basic packet or tablespoon worth of sugar in the coffee... not nearly enough to make it super saturated. The stirring is to keep the dissolved sugar well mixed with the rest of the coffee, but it always settles to the bottom of the cup within a small amount of time. Clearly, there is a difference in the density of 'brewed coffee' (aka water) and sugar dissolved in water based on this observation. Could I tell you the amount of the difference? No. But I can say that there is a difference.
Come on. The stirring is to keep the dissolved sugar well mixed with the rest of the coffee, but it always settles to the bottom of the cup within a small amount of time. to know that it doesn't matter how much you stir a super saturated solution, no more of the solute with go into solution. I don't understand how you think I am retracting any part of what I said.
Looks like you fail, again.
Furthermore, I'd like you to prove that a pot of coffee has a notable difference in density when compared to water at the same temperature, because I am not buying that "coffee is nowhere fucking near the same density as water".
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***"I understand basic chemistry"***
"I was never referring to a drinking a super saturated solution of sugar in coffee in the post"
Granted you did not refer to an actual super saturated coffee solution, but you did say that it would settle no matter how well the coffee was stirred. Ergo, it becomes super saturated.
"The stirring is to keep the dissolved sugar well mixed with the rest of the coffee, but it always settles to the bottom of the cup within a small amount of time."
You do understand that when you mix another set of molecules into a solution it bonds together don't you? It also takes place at a faster rate with higher temperatures as the molecules have more energy. See the bonds holding together molecules are always vibrating and at higher temps., like say in a pot of coffee, they are moving at an increased rate due to an inrease in energy and as such, chemical reactions are more likely. (Chemical reactions of course occur through collisions) By saying that the sugar isn't actually dissolved within the coffee, as would be the case if it settles to the bottom, is retarded. When you mix a set of molecules together, especially at higher temperatures, they join. There has never been one case ever in the history of the universe that two seperate molecules forced together have passed by one another without bonding. Yeah, sometimes a catalyst is needed, like with water and oil, but what your implying is that I could take bourbon and coke, pour them both into a glass and then pour them back out again seperatley.
And where do you buy your dissolved sugar from? Because if, by your statement, the dissolved sugar doesn't stay mixed with the coffee, then it must have been dissolved previously. By definition dissolved anything, is a new molecule structure.
And at what point is brewed coffee aka water? I have never in my life asked for a glass of water in a cafe and been served coffee.
"I'd like you to prove that a pot of coffee has a notable difference in density when compared to water at the same temperature"
Now to prove my point on the density levels. This is really quite easy so pay attention. There is a set of governing standards imposed to make science exactly what it is. Perfect. These standards are called the SI (or International Standards. It's a French thing, thats why the S is before the I). All chemicals' density is measured at 0 degrees Cel. to maintain a uniform reading. At this temperature water (in it's purest form) has a density of 1000kg/cu.m and Coffee beans (roasted) have a density of 432kg/cu.m . I have used pure water as tap water is only minor in difference, some .056 of a g/cu.cm . When these substances are heated they lose some of their density because the molecules move faster and therefore take up more room as they whizz about. Like when water becomes vapour. At say 60 degrees Cel. the density of water is 983.2kg/cu.m . I'm not sure what the exact density of coffee beans is at this temperature but the change would also be minor. Probably around 420kg/cu.m . When you grind the beans, the density doesn't change as you are not changing the molecular structure. You know that old joke about what's heavier, a ton of lead, or a ton of feathers? Same thing here. Once you collide these two seperate molecular structures of different density levels, the resulting density level is somewhere in between. Coffee beans diluted in water at a temperature of 60 degrees Cel. has a density level of approx. 840kg/cu.m . Difference of 143kg/cu.m .
Retort?
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-08-17 10:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-17 02:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"no matter how well it is stirred" / "Even when it is not super saturated"
So which one is it? Do you stir the shit out of the coffee like you said initially, or psuedo-retract your own statement without realising it to make yourself look smart?
So.. basically, YOU fail.
And when brewed, coffee is nowhere fucking near the same density as water. Do you realise how stupid this sounds?
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I guess I wasn't originally clear enough for you. I was never referring to a drinking a super saturated solution of sugar in coffee in the post, or in my reply.
I am talking about a basic packet or tablespoon worth of sugar in the coffee... not nearly enough to make it super saturated. The stirring is to keep the dissolved sugar well mixed with the rest of the coffee, but it always settles to the bottom of the cup within a small amount of time. Clearly, there is a difference in the density of 'brewed coffee' (aka water) and sugar dissolved in water based on this observation. Could I tell you the amount of the difference? No. But I can say that there is a difference.
Come on. I understand basic chemistry enough to know that it doesn't matter how much you stir a super saturated solution, no more of the solute with go into solution. I don't understand how you think I am retracting any part of what I said.
Looks like you fail, again.
Furthermore, I'd like you to prove that a pot of coffee has a notable difference in density when compared to water at the same temperature, because I am not buying that "coffee is nowhere fucking near the same density as water".
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-08-17 02:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-17 02:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-08-17 01:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-16 05:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great but...
1. How the sugar in coffee always settles to the bottom, no matter how well it is stirred. Free office coffee tastes like ass, do you think I put the sugar in there for my own health? If I am going to be drinking ass, it has to be at least semi-sweet ass. I have standards, for fucks sake.
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I had to login to reply to this one.
Even when it is not super saturated the sugar-water syrup will settle out at the bottom. It is obviously because the sugar-water is more dense than plain coffee, which is probably very close to being the same as water.
So.. basically, you fail.
PS, nice novelty license plate style user name!
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"no matter how well it is stirred" / "Even when it is not super saturated"
So which one is it? Do you stir the shit out of the coffee like you said initially, or psuedo-retract your own statement without realising it to make yourself look smart?
So.. basically, YOU fail.
And when brewed, coffee is nowhere fucking near the same density as water. Do you realise how stupid this sounds?
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2007-08-17 00:30:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In the middle of my shitty day, this made me laugh.
I've had enough fisting for the day too.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-16 21:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like that it's enzymes. I thought it had something that bonded to whatever the molecule was and then it dropped to the ground. Maybe that's something else...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-16 18:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and it should be noted that I'm well aware that I can't spell
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-16 18:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sigh
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-16 18:00:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:-(
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-16 18:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GRRRR
SCROLLY WHEEL!!!!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-16 17:59:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
heheheh - I'm not sure anyone really wants to know.
I'm a geek and I love chemistry type stuffs... So what happens is that Febreze has chemicals designed to attract and bond to the particles that cause odor..
in a sense, it surrounds the bad smell and then it has enzymes that "eat" the odor.
(They do put purfumes on top of that, but the purfumes aren't what kills the odors)
Cool, huh?
</end geek>
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-16 16:34:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how does febreze work, crystle?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-16 16:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can explain how Febreze works
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-16 16:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what is the junk food of which you speak?
never heard of it but it sounds tastah
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-08-16 16:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Leg sweeps make me unhappy I have bruises - BRUISES. If I wanted bruises on my legs I would have gone for some sport other than shotokan.
Wait what?
The good news, at least for me, is that the cause of the worst of my leg sweep practice bruises broke two of his toes on my rock hard shins. That would bring the total of toes broken on my shins over the years to 6. Come at me that hard fucker and you'd better know what part of the foot you're hitting with.
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2007-08-16 15:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"5. Irregularly spelled names."
My friend forces me to spell my name with an I when she's around =/ Salli just looks wrong to me.
"11. The general lack of afros in our society today"
I would give you a +2 for that but
"22. Emo hair. That shit is the worst."
I looks so hot on some people.
So, +1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-16 15:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
11. The general lack of afros in our society today. = +2
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-08-16 15:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, it seems like I need to clear the air on the febreeze subject.
Honestly... I don't trust it. I think that it is a high powered chemical that dulls the sense of smell and does not actually take care of the problem that is causing the reek in the first place. This bothers me since my sense of smell is probably the best sense I have. Therefore, I cannot trust something that threatens me so.
Yes, I am paranoid about febreeze. I refuse to use the product, I fucking hate it.
It makes me even more suspicious when I see the commercials where the family members are basically dry humping a pillow on the ground while they inhale the new febreezed up rug - just 'cause it smells so fresh! Yeah right. It's a bullshit scam and humanity will pay for it one day.
So yeah, chalk it up into the category of things that truly bother me that probably shouldn't.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-08-16 15:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why the fuck do you hate FEBREEZE? What could it have possibly done to you?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-08-16 15:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gems.
My step-father's old cat was named Flossie. Its ghost is coming back to get him; he always hated that cat.
"do you think I put the sugar in there for my own health?" I can just imagine you yelling at the sugar.
And that league thing was hilarious...
Submitted by fidelcity (user info) at 2007-08-16 13:55:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck ticketmaster indeed.
I was in arizona trying to book a concert, dc they ever blow.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-08-16 11:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-16 05:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great but...
1. How the sugar in coffee always settles to the bottom, no matter how well it is stirred. Free office coffee tastes like ass, do you think I put the sugar in there for my own health? If I am going to be drinking ass, it has to be at least semi-sweet ass. I have standards, for fucks sake.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturation_%28biology%29
Obviously the sugar won't change the taste... so forget it and avoid the diabetes.
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I had to login to reply to this one.
Even when it is not super saturated the sugar-water syrup will settle out at the bottom. It is obviously because the sugar-water is more dense than plain coffee, which is probably very close to being the same as water.
So.. basically, you fail.
PS, nice novelty license plate style user name!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-16 09:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait you got a guy at hooters?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-16 09:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to name my next child Q'aabine.
Pronounced "Kevin".
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2007-08-16 06:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PS: are you a cute guy or an andorgenous girl?
Submitted by Cakes (user info) at 2007-08-16 06:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Irregularly spelled names. Even something as simple as Mat instead of Matt. How novel, now here is your parent of the year award... SLAP!
haha
I know a guy named Rych- and i have slapped him
Submitted by big_spliff_smoker (user info) at 2007-08-16 06:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Much of the shit you hate I also hate.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-08-16 05:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Damn straight
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-16 05:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great but...
1. How the sugar in coffee always settles to the bottom, no matter how well it is stirred. Free office coffee tastes like ass, do you think I put the sugar in there for my own health? If I am going to be drinking ass, it has to be at least semi-sweet ass. I have standards, for fucks sake.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturation_%28biology%29
Obviously the sugar won't change the taste... so forget it and avoid the diabetes.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-08-16 02:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh I so agree with these... especially the irregularly spelled names and emo hair..
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-08-16 02:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to get a license plated that reads "F477312".
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-16 01:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-08-15 21:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-08-15 21:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Fuck you, your joy, AND that shitty Frisbee."
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-08-15 21:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Me too, all of that.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-08-15 18:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A line that makes me snort hard enough to blow a snot bubble always merits a +2.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-15 18:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i agree, sire
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-15 18:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking emos.....
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-15 18:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At long last I have found my soulmate! I would marry you if you had a virginer. Since you don't, your going to have to settle for this +2 and I will now walk the earth for the rest of my days carrying the burden of not having a spouse that truly knows and appreciates me.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-15 17:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ROFL, Thanks Q. This was awesome, I also FUCKING HATE ticketmaster. I am pretty sure I agree with every one of your points.
When are we gonna get together and get wasted?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-08-15 17:37:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
12, 13, 15, and 16 piss the fuck out of me too.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:26:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your list was amusing. But I hope I don't crush your spirit too much when I tell you that this;
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LETTING YOUR HAIR TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM***
EXCUSE ME WHILE I FAIL TO FORM A SENTENCE
__
is the reason you're getting a +2.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
15. Ticketmaster. FUCK TICKETMASTER
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I bought two tickets through Ticketbastard for an upcoming show. Online purchase, not one single human being involved besides myself. Asshole Ticketbastard actually charged me $2.50 to let me print out my own tickets on my printer in my house with my ink and paper, and most of the 'ticket' was advertisements that they're paid to put on there. That "saved" me $7.49 over the cheapest delivery charge. They even charge $2.50 for will-call. Fuck Ticketbastard. In their corporate ass. With a tree. A pine tree. A knotty pine tree. One that's on fire.
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Now THERE'S an idea.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-15 16:09:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sad to say, I agree with a bunch of these.
Now, I'm going to go smash my head against a brick wall.
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:59:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm freakin happy. Auto +2 for the 5 most recent posts
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These types of lists are usually shitty. This was pretty good. Kudos to you, sir.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
15. Ticketmaster. FUCK TICKETMASTER
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I bought two tickets through Ticketbastard for an upcoming show. Online purchase, not one single human being involved besides myself. Asshole Ticketbastard actually charged me $2.50 to let me print out my own tickets on my printer in my house with my ink and paper, and most of the 'ticket' was advertisements that they're paid to put on there. That "saved" me $7.49 over the cheapest delivery charge. They even charge $2.50 for will-call. Fuck Ticketbastard. In their corporate ass. With a tree. A pine tree. A knotty pine tree. One that's on fire.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:14:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-15 12:05:58 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, was she attractive? If the answer was yes, and you ruined it by not letting her emo your hair take one for the team... I just don't know what to say to you. (granted, she was no doubt mentally unstable, but still)
=========
She was attractive, and I had sex with her a few times later.
She was from Russia originally, which was kind of attractive, but her friends were really "Scene" and annoying. The day I met some of them went like this.
They came to my house (I was living in a garage). I hung out with them sober for about 10 minutes, then walked into the main house and saw my good friend and roommate Jim playing Marvel vs. Capcom. I told him it was an emergency, and that I needed to drink his fifth of Brandy, and I'd pay him back later. He agreed, and I proceeded to poor a fifth into a 2 liter coca cola bottle that was maybe 1/4 full.
I spent the rest of the day being drunk and mean to her friends until only one was loyal enough to remain. We went to a mexican place, and I ordered an expensive "wet" burrito. Tatyana (the russian bird's name) asked me if I had any money on me, to which I replied with excessive laughter and, "Fuck, I'm not paying for this shit!"
It was the last time I ever saw her. Things were officially ended over the phone.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LETTING YOUR HAIR TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM***
EXCUSE ME WHILE I FAIL TO FORM A SENTENCE
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-15 15:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:13:21 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking emo hair.
Some people are unfortunate enough to have lost sight in one or both of their eyes, and fucking emos are so fucking stupid they intentionally cover one of them up completely. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU INTENTIONALLY HAVE NO DEPTH PERCEPTION, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.
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Some girl tried to fix my hair like that before she made out with me in the backseat of my car at a Denny's parking lot.
I made her stop, got drunk (I was probably already drunk actually, but I did drink more), and for some reason did a lot of stuff that wasn't sex.
How does that story not end with sex?
___________
Wait, was she attractive? If the answer was yes, and you ruined it by not letting her emo your hair take one for the team... I just don't know what to say to you. (granted, she was no doubt mentally unstable, but still)
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of these were really funny.
The popcorn one. Ugh, that is the worst. Then I spend the rest of the movie trying to pick out the shel from my gums with the straw.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-15 11:13:21 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking emo hair.
Some people are unfortunate enough to have lost sight in one or both of their eyes, and fucking emos are so fucking stupid they intentionally cover one of them up completely. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU INTENTIONALLY HAVE NO DEPTH PERCEPTION, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.
=======
Some girl tried to fix my hair like that before she made out with me in the backseat of my car at a Denny's parking lot.
I made her stop, got drunk (I was probably already drunk actually, but I did drink more), and for some reason did a lot of stuff that wasn't sex.
How does that story not end with sex?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
15. Ticketmaster. FUCK TICKETMASTER
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What's wrong with Febreeze?
It's been "freshening" most male Uberer's beds for years now, on the off chance that an actual female is present.
Uhh... Me not included or anything... I uhh, I saw it at the theater. Yes, that's it, I'm a patron of the arts and that's how I know.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I looked at the picture before I read the list, and almost -2ed this thinking it was you.
However, now you are getting an emphatic +2 for calling out the severe lack of Afros in our society today.
What the fuck is up with that anyway?
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
link'ore!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110853
----------------------------------------------------------
'ore indeed.
did you not get enough hits off this the first time?
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck TicketMaster is right! How's it going buddy?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
link'ore!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110853
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#16
NO! I dont want to sit at the ugly/fat/flat waitress section at Hooters.
I want the hot asian chick section.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
9. Shitty novelty license plates. "2FST4U"? No thanks, I'm trying to cut back on my fisting, but thanks for the offer. Get off the road, fuckwad!
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Good list...this one also made me laugh out loud.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
number 11 made me laugh
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK TICKETMASTER
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Emo hair is now on my Axis of Evil.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There have been some hurricanes with my name, i.e. "Bonnie."
I'm particulary proud that something so devastating is related to me.
Febreeze is good shit! Almost as good as new car smell.
Fuck Ticketmaster indeed. Once they tried to rip me off. I bought seats down front but when the tickets came, they gave me lawn. No price change. In essence, I was paying a lot of money to sit on the ground. Are you kidding me?! I called them up and spoke to some kid whose voice was still breaking. He got snitty with me and called me "Ma'am." I called him a "cock smoker." He got all quiet and nervous and transferred me to his supervisor. I got upgraded at no cost to 2nd row "orchestra." Moral of the story, when a giant corporation rips you off, call a young cog-in-the-machine a "cock smoker" and all will be well.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry, but I have to take one away for "emo hair." Not because I like it, but its been ranted on WAY TOO MUCH. We get it, emo hair is stupid.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:13:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking emo hair.
Some people are unfortunate enough to have lost sight in one or both of their eyes, and fucking emos are so fucking stupid they intentionally cover one of them up completely. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU INTENTIONALLY HAVE NO DEPTH PERCEPTION, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the last sip of coffee....its sugar-licious and helps me stay awake in Chemistry!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-15 14:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
21. Shops that close down 5 minutes before their posted hours. Yes, I know that the people who work there probably hate guys like me that show up 5 minutes before they close, but guess what? That's what you get for not paying attention in school and ending up at a dead end retail job.
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Or you're like most people working in dead-end retail, teenagers with summer jobs.
But I lol at this: 9. Shitty novelty license plates. "2FST4U"? No thanks, I'm trying to cut back on my fisting, but thanks for the offer. Get off the road, fuckwad!