How I put a Gangsta in his place (1793 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.57 on 85 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SunnyG (View user info) at 2007-08-20 00:20:52 EDT
Being newly single, I have discovered several things which were at first foreign to me.
For instance; did you know that wearing a tight American Eagle shirt increases your desirability ten-fold? Also, high five-ing your friends at the bar is compulsory about every 10 minutes for no apparent reason.
Prior to the impending school year, my teammates and I decided to celebrate. What is the occasion you ask? Well, we were celebrating a Wednesday. Is that good enough?
Good.
Around 7 p.m. we got dressed in our finest "Look at my striped shirt" apparel. I opted to not look like a douche and instead wore something that didn't provoke quips of, "BRO, AWESOME SHIRT!".
We drank for a few hours and talked about pointless crap, and hit the downtown core at 10.
Visibly drunk and bar hopping, my mates in their infinite wisdom decided to hit a club.
Well this can't be that bad. I could go for some Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz
There was the usual crowd outside of the club smoking consisting mainly of Guidos and Skanks.
We walked into the club and my ears were immediately assaulted by a rendition of "Party like a Rock Star".
Apparently playing the song "Party like a Rock Star" and raising your hands in the hair screaming "Yeeee Boiii!!" are co-requisites.
In my drunken state, I didn't care about how shitty the two note repetetive music was, I just wanted to creep out some girls, have fun, and rediscover the ancient art of flirting.
Are you ready Uber-ers? I'm about to give you the secret to picking up girls for free! I didn't need Marco's book to do it either!
Walk up behind one of them and start pumping. It seems to work, be careful of whom you pick though. I used to frown upon douchebags who did this to girls at clubs, but fuck it, I was drunk and newly single. Self-preservation wasn't really a priority.
Sorry Juls, looks like I was one of those 10 guys at the bar.
Be careful who you grind with my friends, even though this particularly fine female seemed to be enjoying herself, her boyfriend was not.
He walked over to me, and immediately I regretted trying to court his mistress.
I could tell by his established sneer, downtrodden attire, and NY Yankees baseball cap that he was surely a hardened gang member. He walked as if he had been shot in the leg, and his pants hung ever so dangerously below his waistline. He was undoubtedly packing heat, as most hardened underprivileged white boys from the suburban neighbourhoods do these days.
The 'burbs are rough dawg, you feel me?
I shook in my boots.
"Ayyo, dats my girl man. Whatchu doin?"
Unfamiliar with this dialect, I began to adapt, and retorted accordingly.
"NIGGA PLEASE, dis be mah hood rat, you feel me? I jus' tryin to get my drink on, my pimp on, and my smoke on."
At this point he realized I was either
A. Retarded
B. Really drunk
C. Mocking him
D. Potentially a terrorist
He put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me. Unbalanced, I stumbled a few steps back.
His cavalry of 4 other white gangsters arrived.
Let's break the situation down here:
My teammates are at the bar not being douchebags on the dance floor, they can't help me.
His homeboys look like they are about 13, and have chinstraps. This is irrelevant, but just goes to show you how big of tools they really were.
5 of them, 1 of me.
Naturally, my instinct was to fight them all at the same time. However, before I could contemplate my first UFC style assault; I got punched in the face from 3 different directions. I didn't stand much of a chance.
The bouncers intervened, and threw the new members of the NWA out.
My teammates came over to where I was, awestruck and fuming that I just got sucker punched.
I was with 7 other rugby players, who loved nothing more than to get into a fight after drinking whiskey.
I assure you, whenever we go drinking as a team - spear tackling related injuries go up 46%.
We walked outside to find these guys, and to show them who "really ran da hood".
I was ready to ride on some busters, and a pillaging we went.
We rounded the corner to find the Fred Durst look-a-like and his 'crew' giving each other hi-fives. I walked up to Fred, who seemed to be taken back by seeing the crowd of big angry white guys I had with me.
But who am I to start a gang fight? I hate violence.
Mr. Durst stepped towards me.
"Whachu want huh? Want some more? You bring yo boys to get beat down?"
The group of teenie bopper girls watched in astonishment as their fearless leader stepped up to me.
I laughed in his face.
"Whatsa matter white boy? The streets of Ottawa must have been rough for you"
He threw a right hand at me, but I was ready for him.
I ducked and grabbed him at either sides of his waist and pulled down with all my might.
I pulled his low-riding, gangsta ass pants down to reveal his pasty legs. As I popped back up I gave him a punch to the nose as a courtesy.
His crew looked like they were going to jump in for a moment, but my teammates subdued them with angry looks and quips of, "BRING IT ON YA FOOKIN' CHAV!". It helps to know an British guy, he knows cuss words I'll never know.
I was not done yet. As Slim Shady lay cussing and flailing on the ground doing his best to stop the bleeding of his nose, I took the hat off of his fat head.
He saw it coming. His friends saw it coming. I smiled as I was about to commit the worst street player hater crime of all time. I think I heard one of his girlfriends sob.
I ripped the MLB holographic sticker right off the brim.
Don't be in my hood lookin hard.
User Reviews
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-22 12:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2007-08-22 12:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually googled it, one is directing porn and the other is a "platinum recording artist in his own right." Wish I hadn't given a fuck
---
hahaha. Wow, they came a long way.
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2007-08-22 12:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually googled it, one is directing porn and the other is a "platinum recording artist in his own right." Wish I hadn't given a fuck.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-22 12:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the other two guys became alters on Uber.
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2007-08-22 12:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What ever happened to those other two niggers from NWA?
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-08-22 10:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i don't know if i believe this, but ok...
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-21 22:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I spelled Fuhrer wrong. Fuck you anyway.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-21 22:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-21 01:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because someone suggested, or seemed to suggest that "atlanta hip hop music" (seriously dude, that's such a lame way to say something, that's like saying punk rock music, why the fuck would you add music? you suck!"
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WELL EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING, MEIN FUHRER
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-08-21 16:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-21 15:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
User id: 31636
Registered on or around: 2007-07-31 20:11:36 EDT
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 1
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0
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I WAS YOUR FIRST REVIEW?
I feel honoured. Then ashamed because I feel honoured.
Submitted by svgwrestler (user info) at 2007-08-21 15:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
""BRING IT ON YA FOOKIN' CHAV!". It helps to know an British guy, he knows cuss words I'll never know."
Is a great line.
and
"I ripped the MLB holographic sticker right off the brim."
I have dreamed of a moment similar to this, but they don't populate my current location enough to have gangsta attitude.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-21 15:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ACTUALLY THE PROBLEM IM HAVING RIGHT NOW IS FROM BEING COMPLETELY SOBER
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-21 15:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
forthewin, damn. I dunno if its drugs you're taking or drugs you should be taking.
Good on ya.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-21 14:47:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-21 14:33:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-21 14:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH DAMN YOU RIPPED THE STICKER OFF HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT JESUS CHRIST
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On top of a large pile of money, with many beautiful women.
___
YOU TOO?!?!?
HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT 100 BILLS FEEL WAIT BETTER THAN 1S??
I THINK I HAVE AN STD THOUGH AND I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S FROM ONE OF THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, OR FROM HAVING ALL THOSE 100S RUB AGAINST MY GENETILS...
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-21 14:33:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-21 14:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH DAMN YOU RIPPED THE STICKER OFF HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT JESUS CHRIST
---
On top of a large pile of money, with many beautiful women.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-08-21 14:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH DAMN YOU RIPPED THE STICKER OFF HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT JESUS CHRIST
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you OttawaU or Carlton?
Ottawa suburban homies have nothing on creepy 35 year old Quebecois douchebags in the bars. They are the worst, bar none.
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Neither! Muahaha. to be honest, I just threw out Ottawa at him because I was drunk and it was the first city that came to mind.
I live close to the Toronto area.
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you OttawaU or Carlton?
Ottawa suburban homies have nothing on creepy 35 year old Quebecois douchebags in the bars. They are the worst, bar none.
Submitted by Captain_Murphy (user info) at 2007-08-21 10:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 For beating on Ottawa's suburban gangsters.
Fuck I hate those guys.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-21 08:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I made it rather clear Lil Jon blows goats.
But when I'm drunk, anything goes.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-21 01:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because someone suggested, or seemed to suggest that "atlanta hip hop music" (seriously dude, that's such a lame way to say something, that's like saying punk rock music, why the fuck would you add music? you suck!"
I fucking hate modern mainstream "hip hop", you know why? Because it fucking sucks.
I assumed you were making fun of Lil' Jon, otherwise I would have -2ed immediately. I really hope you were, because I'm pretty sure I like some of your posts, and I would have to hate you forever if you thought Lil' Jon was good at...anything...ever.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 23:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-20 21:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are officially my favorite new person. Please don't turn out to be an alter, if you do I will be devastated.
Also, I had no idea they played Atlanta hip-hop music in Canadian bars. That is so... weird.
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Jeanneee, no worries, I am very much SunnyG - your usual fucked up university student.
Yeah, Lil Jon is popular here, so is Ludacris and various other Georgian 'musicians'.
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-08-20 21:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for rippin off the sticker-that's some straight shit der!
+1 for da hommies plaque
and extra + 1 for the Ottawa mention
Dats +3 for all you math wizards out der!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-20 21:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are officially my favorite new person. Please don't turn out to be an alter, if you do I will be devastated.
Also, I had no idea they played Atlanta hip-hop music in Canadian bars. That is so... weird.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-20 20:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-20 20:02:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-08-20 19:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was pretty funny.
Well done.
Or, auto "gangsta depants" +2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:55:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very solid.
reminds me a bit of this, but with way more (deserved) violence.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you went out, got drunk and got into a fight?!!! NO WAY!!!!
well told story though.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha this was great!
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I might love you now
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-20 14:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cause I was just in ontario for a week at niagra falls
do ontarians hate niagra falls because of its "touristy" label?
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Nah..I like Niagara. A very lively place.
If ontarions hate niagara its because the americans keep coming to our side to view the falls, because their falls are so shit-tacular.
===================
very true, I just proposed to my GF at the "secret garden" down by the falls at the bottom of clifton hill, it was really nice. The American side of the border is like a shanty town. Have you ever been there in winter? I would like too see what that mist does to the area as it freezes!
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Sweet, congrats. Yeah some of the water freezes, the flow of the falls is still pretty heavy (haha, heavy flow), and at night they shine lights on it to make the iceicles light up. It's a cool sight.
=============
damn I gotta get in on that
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i find kal penn very oddly hot.
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O RLY?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why, but this is that much more funny because you are indian.
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Indo: that's because in your mind you see the guy from "Harold and Kumar go to white castle" stomping out an eminem look a like.
It's actually a pretty accurate depiction.
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i find kal penn very oddly hot.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-20 14:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cause I was just in ontario for a week at niagra falls
do ontarians hate niagra falls because of its "touristy" label?
-------------
Nah..I like Niagara. A very lively place.
If ontarions hate niagara its because the americans keep coming to our side to view the falls, because their falls are so shit-tacular.
===================
very true, I just proposed to my GF at the "secret garden" down by the falls at the bottom of clifton hill, it was really nice. The American side of the border is like a shanty town. Have you ever been there in winter? I would like too see what that mist does to the area as it freezes!
------------
Sweet, congrats. Yeah some of the water freezes, the flow of the falls is still pretty heavy (haha, heavy flow), and at night they shine lights on it to make the iceicles light up. It's a cool sight.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why, but this is that much more funny because you are indian.
-------
Indo: that's because in your mind you see the guy from "Harold and Kumar go to white castle" stomping out an eminem look a like.
It's actually a pretty accurate depiction.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why, but this is that much more funny because you are indian.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-20 14:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cause I was just in ontario for a week at niagra falls
do ontarians hate niagra falls because of its "touristy" label?
-------------
Nah..I like Niagara. A very lively place.
If ontarions hate niagara its because the americans keep coming to our side to view the falls, because their falls are so shit-tacular.
===================
very true, I just proposed to my GF at the "secret garden" down by the falls at the bottom of clifton hill, it was really nice. The American side of the border is like a shanty town. Have you ever been there in winter? I would like too see what that mist does to the area as it freezes!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
humorous, but not as good as locksly's re-imagining of your tale
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-20 14:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cause I was just in ontario for a week at niagra falls
do ontarians hate niagra falls because of its "touristy" label?
-------------
Nah..I like Niagara. A very lively place.
If ontarions hate niagara its because the americans keep coming to our side to view the falls, because their falls are so shit-tacular.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-20 14:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cause I was just in ontario for a week at niagra falls
do ontarians hate niagra falls because of its "touristy" label?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-20 14:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is sad, and I'm admitting it. It's drawing close to lunch, and I popped in to read FG's comment, and now I'm craving curry.
sigh
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-08-20 14:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was really more of a +1 but the extra point is to counteract that azul frog diptard.
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-08-20 14:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 pantsing
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 13:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-20 13:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm confused. I'll come right out and ask because I've read your post and can't figure it out; Where the hell do you live?!
Every time I think I've got it pegged to Britian, you say/phrase something that makes me think otherwise.
I regret that this unseemly aspect of an America sub-culture spread beyond the borders.
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I live in Ontario, Canada. As for the British slang, my dad's side is from England.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-20 13:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm confused. I'll come right out and ask because I've read your post and can't figure it out; Where the hell do you live?!
Every time I think I've got it pegged to Britian, you say/phrase something that makes me think otherwise.
I regret that this unseemly aspect of an America sub-culture spread beyond the borders.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-20 12:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-08-20 12:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for pantsing a wigger.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-08-20 11:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I ripped the MLB holographic sticker right off the brim."
AWESOME, +2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-20 11:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There ain't no adventures like rowdy drunken adventures.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-20 11:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unfortunately, his complexion has yet to "clear up".
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 11:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-20 11:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And I'm 17, douche. And now I kindly will GTFO.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
THANKS FOR CLEARING THAT UP!
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 11:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If gayness is currency, you are the Sultan of Brunei
Honestly, you are going to argue that I spelled a slang word wrong? I can read back into your shit festivals that you call posts and find errors rather easily, but I don't because I'm not a sock-sniffer like you are.
I am not wrong. I will spell hommie with two Ms. I guess that means I'm ignorant about street slang, which I'm happy to report I am.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-20 11:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And I'm 17, douche. And now I kindly will GTFO.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-20 11:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If ignorance is bliss, you must be one happy mother fucker. Cheers, and continue to argue because it paints you fashionably. Simply retorting with the shit quality of my posts instead of admitting you're wrong would be too much, now would it?
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 10:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
absolutely right aberfroz! Unfortunately, homie/hommie/hoe-mee is not in the Oxford English Dictionary, so the rules don't apply. It's slang, moron. I don't need a 16 year old telling me the rules of english when he posts about his feelings on livejournal. Maybe if you swept your carefully placed emo hair out of your one eye you could see nobody cares.
GTFO.
Hommie is short for homeboy, and where I come from we use two Ms because it's "ballin".
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-08-20 10:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're such an arbiter, azurefroz.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-20 10:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 08:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh crap! I didn't spell a slang word correctly!
Did it ever occur to you, azurefroz, that slang words don't need correct spelling and are spelled based on interpretation?
I'm glad a true crip-ass blood gangbanger such as yourself konws the right spelling.
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Ehhh, wrong, dick tart. The laws of English and grammar tell you how to properly spell something. A vowel before a double consonant will 99% of the time take on a 'soft' sound, versus a vowel before a single consonant and subsequent vowel will take on the 'long' sound.
In this instance, any person not dubbed moron would say 'hahhmmies' instead of 'hoe-mees.' Is that simple enough for you?
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-08-20 10:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GLgPu1h7u4
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-20 10:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This "brawl" must have been like watching two "Weebles" go at it.
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-08-20 09:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eazy E +2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-08-20 09:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-20 09:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah i never understood that 5:1 equal we're tougher than you. should always be man to man.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-20 09:23:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-08-20 09:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 08:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh crap! I didn't spell a slang word correctly!
Did it ever occur to you, azurefroz, that slang words don't need correct spelling and are spelled based on interpretation?
I'm glad a true crip-ass blood gangbanger such as yourself konws the right spelling.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-08-20 07:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-08-20 07:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-20 07:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hommie? Homie? Seriously?
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no, not seriously, you stupid, sty-y-id stupid person.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-08-20 07:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would've just stolen your shankara stones, then your village would've dried up and all yo chitlens would be forced into slavery by Kalima.
WHAT DEN, NIGGA?!
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-20 07:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hommie? Homie? Seriously?
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-20 06:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I just wanted to creep out some girls"
awww that made me laugh.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-08-20 06:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Captain_Ambivalent (user info) at 2007-08-20 06:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-20 03:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ummm I would so never want to go on a night out with you but hehe
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-20 03:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminded me of myself (especially the fact that we were cut off from our friends, mine had JUST went to the bar next door, and I took slightly longer), except my story (which is really long and not getting told in a review) has me getting hit by thirteen people (eventually) and at a certain point, I decided to stop trying to fight all of them in an attempt not to get my ass beat (I held my own for a while because I actually know how to fight, and they clearly didn't, but seriously, I was so doomed), and find the original guy that started the fight with me.
I got him on the ground, and sat on top of him, beating the fuck out of his face, waiting for his friends to peel me off and kill me.
One of my best friends, who had been wading through a rather large crowd that had formed to get to me, got to me first. He tackled me off the guy and restrained all of my limbs using his own limbs to hook mine (I'm kind of drunk, so that sentence might not make sense, fuck you). Luckily for me, he knew almost half of the people in the crowd that had formed, a circle was made around us to protect him, and the fight ended completely. So, I got no ass beating, and got to fuck up the guy who started the whole thing. It felt pretty fucking great.
So, you get a +2 for reminding me of myself. I fucking love me.
That story is so much longer and complicated than a couple of paragraphs.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-08-20 03:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
efil4zaggin, muthafucka.
Submitted by semperfatuus (user info) at 2007-08-20 02:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Too many of those around here too.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-08-20 02:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Tell the bit about how you tried to blow him
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-08-20 01:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-20 00:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't read all of this yet, but:
"and raising your hands in the hair screaming "Yeeee Boiii!!" are co-requisites."
In my head this happened, "raise your hands in the air, scratch your head like you just don't care!"
That's dumb.
I'm going to go get more drunk and play mario kart, I'll read the rest of this tomorrow and see if it deserves this +2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 00:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110530
You can't take people who look like that seriously either.
Submitted by fidelcity (user info) at 2007-08-20 00:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
filename
Submitted by UCSBguy (user info) at 2007-08-20 00:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait, one more thing. This was not funny everyone knows whiggers cant be taken seriously
Submitted by UCSBguy (user info) at 2007-08-20 00:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Seriously go kill yourself