The Town of Zera (271 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.08 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Internet Stranger (View user info) at 2007-08-20 04:24:28 EDT
A peaceful magenta sky was setting over the quiet and sleepy town of Zera. Rays of purple and pink flooded the clouds. It was the most extraordinary blend of colours the town had seen in months. But even the stunning sky could not overshadow what had happened. The mood in the town was still black, a colour that would stay with the town no matter what the circumstance. That is, if things didn't change.
Few residents were occupying the normally crowded and busy streets. Not a sound could be heard. Birds weren't chirping, and cars weren't making their daily honking and yelling sounds from angry drivers running late on their ways to work. It was not a normal evening. Even a stranger would be able to tell that something was wrong. Construction on nearby apartments had ceased as well. It had appeared as the whole town, in one evening, had fallen asleep, never to awake again.
"I doubt our plan will succeed," said a man. He was standing by a local ice cream shop, one that at the time was vacant of life. His black, long-sleeved shirt was a rarely seen article of clothing in the summer, and his matching long, black trousers, were just as peculiar. A man was standing next to him. His partner, or at least that's what he seemed be. They were speaking in whispers and quiet voices, even though the town was already deserted.
"It's almost over," responded the other man. "We can't quit now."
The nervousness in the first man's voice could be easily noticed. He was a rookie. A man attempting a job for the first time, and someone who could easily make a mistake. The "rookie" then handed his partner a small, red envelope, big enough to hold a small computer chip, or something of that size. His partner took the envelope without even looking him. His eyes were already fixed on something else. And whatever it was, it was on the street, for that's where his head was facing. It seemed as though he was waiting for someone. Then, turning a street and reaching the street of the ice cream shop, another black object could be seen. This time it was vehicle, a van. It was armoured too. The men stepped off the street curb and boarded the van. They were greeted by two more men; the driver, and one wearing a dark brown leather coat, with a black shirt underneath, and black pants. After a few words were spoken between the four men, the door closed, and the van drove off, leaving only clouds of dust and smoke behind.
The morning newspaper is always informative, especially in Zera. But on the twelfth day of July, the newspaper was not only blank; it wasn't even present, although the twelfth day of July would prove to have a bigger impact on the town than its first day without newspaper. The men from the day before were now gone, and they had left with something important in their grasp. The red envelope had been taken form Versa corp. (the largest technological equipment cooperation in the world).
User Reviews
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-13 15:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2008-05-13 08:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My wife left me and i became an alcoholic cunt... someone call me a waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaambulance!!
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hahahahaha. Gee I wonder who that could have been?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Fucking tool.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-04 07:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you make snarky comments because you're frustrated that you can't carry a story idea for more than 30 minutes/6 paragraphs?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-21 01:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-20 20:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:07:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YVAN EHT NIOJ!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This has goodness in it, somewhere, but try refining it.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This has goodness in it, somewhere, but try refining it. Is it the first in a series? I want to learn more about the men and what they are doing. A lot. You got me hooked.
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-08-20 11:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I meant didn't. DIdn't like the flow.
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-08-20 11:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Potential, for sure. Did like the flow of the descriptive parts, though.
A van. It's armoured.
That type of thing. Not tht I'm a pro or anything, but I'd do something more like,
A van rounded the corner, it's armoured exterior bearing the scars of service past.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 08:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
it's good but ends abruptly. refine this into somn good...it has potential.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-08-20 07:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
f it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing
defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer and Apu
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-20 06:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
If this to be continued, then maybe it can develop into something. As is and standalone: nah.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-20 04:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wha......