Pity's Daughter (1603 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: handicapable_women
Rating: 1.56 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2007-08-20 14:59:24 EDT
Nubile and soft, her form would raise the dead
Or sight the blind with a - wait, what's that?
Oh my God...why is there a mound below her unders?
No it cannot be! No wormjunk apple Adam did I bring to bed!
It must be shadowplay and devilish moonlight
Eager to dispell them I withdraw the drawers of white...
I have answered what the awful question begs:
She's got Don King in a headlock with her legs!
Holy shit she could bread a meatloaf but with half a trim
And use the other half to wig up a cancer kid!
Impossible sweaty jungle, what stinky secrets do you hold?
Rich-spun steel wool sex oragami waiting to unfold,
You mesmerize with treasures Western decency forbids.
And now she's slick as halfcooked runny eggs,
She's got Don King in a headlock with her legs!
Here now let me prep you for my dong
Ew it's in my teeth, I will press on,
Lush, rainforest thick funky labial flower,
Looks like it's gonna take you a while to de-janx your bush in the shower.
User Reviews
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-11 17:13:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...
(gasp)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...
...
That is all.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-11 17:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How in the blue fuck did I miss this gem?
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-08-21 22:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Impossible sweaty jungle, what stinky secrets do you hold?
Rich-spun steel wool sex oragami waiting to unfold,
this shit is fuckin'funneeeeeeeeee!
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-08-21 14:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was pretty gross, but damn if your word choice isn't impeccable.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yours is the only poetry I've found so far that is good and makes me cringe at the same time.
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I don't know whether I should say 'sorry' or 'thanks.'
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
______________
I can't wait. Although, this latest generation of teenagers seem utterly hell-bent on the idea.
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I think it'll somehow coincide with the end of this bullshit Axe/Tag/Bod/Fist/Gin/Pud body spray phenomenon. A man can dream, anyway. I'm praying for chemical fires. Lots and lots of chemical fires.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yours is the only poetry I've found so far that is good and makes me cringe at the same time.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wonder how long the present day love of trimming/shaving will last and/or how long it'll be until there's a cultural turn back to the natural, uncontrolled growth of that most savage human garden.
And, when that happens, if there will be late night infomercials for things like combs, picks or hair care products to add volume or extra tuft. Or special jeans made to accent the growing, cloud-like fur below the denim's sturdy build and designer studs.
______________
I can't wait. Although, this latest generation of teenagers seem utterly hell-bent on the idea.
In the end, it's all about calibration. One extreme swings to the other, until people settle with the happy medium. I mean it's called "trim" not "shave". That should tell you something.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-08-21 11:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-08-21 10:30:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
* reads post *
* stares blankly at screen *
* vomits a little into mouth *
* stares blankly at screen *
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-21 10:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-20 22:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah I forgot to tell you I think this whole thing reeks of racism.
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Says the paste-white lily in the peanut gallery.
Stop harrassing me because I'm Indian.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-08-21 02:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For Pity's slaked thirst.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-20 22:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah I forgot to tell you I think this whole thing reeks of racism.
Racist.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-20 20:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-20 20:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-20 19:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No. No. I won't have that. There's a place in Eastbourne.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-20 18:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tee hee, O-man..
sigh, some people!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:55:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh. Wait.
You meant you've never called her "Sac," didn't you?
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVERMIND.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you, Crystle, you are on that list. For this, I am not anfry.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never do
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!!!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never do
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Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-20 14:27:33 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know, scourge, and I thank you for that.
Now if only everyone else here would not as well. I did it to myself, I suppose.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You do it to yourself, you do, and that's what really hurts.
You do it to yourself, just you, you and no one else.
You do it to yourself.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know, scourge, and I thank you for that.
Now if only everyone else here would not as well. I did it to myself, I suppose.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i never call you sac.
it makes me feel like i'm addressing a cluster of gonads or something.
unless i'm actually talking to some balls. and that doesn't happen too often. really just on sac shaving night.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:24:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ball hair is what gives you your power. Like Samson. But in a happy sack manner.
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Now this could be a serious revolution. If men shaved their upper pubis and around the base, but completely kept all their ball hair. A testicle beard, if you will. It's akin to the idea I've had in my head for some time, about how men should shave everything but their under-necks and just grow beards below their chinlines. Just think about it. It could change the world.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-20 22:23:02 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Clarification: Scourge did not shave Sacrilicious)last night. She was already shaven.
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*Raises eyebrow in frank disbelief
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:23:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Clarification: Scourge did not shave Sacrilicious)last night. She was already shaven.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ball hair is what gives you your power. Like Samson. But in a happy sack manner.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good post.
last night was sac shaving night at my house.
i'm smooth as glass and i'm LOVING it.
well, wrinkly glass i guess.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-20 17:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
charming.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HEY SHLONGY IT TOOK SOME WORK BUT I FOUND YOUR ILLEGITIMATE DAUGHTER.
NO HER MOTHER WON'T ACCEPT DICK JOKES OR WHATEVER HAIR YOU HAVE LEFT IN PLACE OF SUPPORT PAYMENTS.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rhia/266440485/
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
POETRY!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:39:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 21:38:38 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
I imagine that's because Berty likes to play a little game he learned in some backcountry brothel (wheelchair accessible, mind) called "Hide the Jelly Beans" where a woman, shocker, takes a few minutes to tuck away a few jelly beans into her slot coiffe and the man, blindfolded, must in turn seek out the sweets using only his mouth.
I don't really know what the appeal is, for a variety of reasons, but I stopped looking for a rationale behind most anything British some time ago.
---
Awesome.
Beanhunter
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I imagine that's because Berty likes to play a little game he learned in some backcountry brothel (wheelchair accessible, mind) called "Hide the Jelly Beans" where a woman, shocker, takes a few minutes to tuck away a few jelly beans into her slot coiffe and the man, blindfolded, must in turn seek out the sweets using only his mouth.
I don't really know what the appeal is, for a variety of reasons, but I stopped looking for a rationale behind most anything British some time ago.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wonder how long the present day love of trimming/shaving will last and/or how long it'll be until there's a cultural turn back to the natural, uncontrolled growth of that most savage human garden.
===
In 'theory,' I don't usually like to be disparaging about the choice some people make to remain as one's creator made them, even if it doesn't suit me personally. In this case, I hope the answer to your question is never.
Berty disagrees.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cloud-like fur
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oh, blarf.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wonder how long the present day love of trimming/shaving will last and/or how long it'll be until there's a cultural turn back to the natural, uncontrolled growth of that most savage human garden.
And, when that happens, if there will be late night infomercials for things like combs, picks or hair care products to add volume or extra tuft. Or special jeans made to accent the growing, cloud-like fur below the denim's sturdy build and designer studs.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ugly people make me laugh, back in the day I used to work at a Hollywood Video in a south Tampa ghetto, sweet mother of Mary did we get some ugly people in there.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That reminds me, DH, of this girl I saw once on the Metro.
Her teeth were so bad, and she had so much junk and plaque on them, that they were actually fuzzy.
A barbershop might not have been able to take care of her, but I bet a good sheepshearer could have done the trick.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-20 16:02:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing like goin' to the barber to get your teeth cleaned.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh barf
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heheh - awesome.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You make me happy.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:11:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like it's gonna take you a while to de-janx your bush in the shower.
-
Gold
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Calm down, Samson.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:08:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i hate you.
all of you.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You could say a little longnecked bird from England told me a little something about a fishy little ring-a-ding from Jersey. Or maybe I just read one too many comments in Turnpike bathrooms and put 2 and 2 together. Either/or. Whatev.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, EW.
Dare I ask who inspired this?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rich-spun steel wool sex oragami waiting to unfold,
you talented fucking wordsmith you
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-20 15:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 old school pube-afro face-cushion safety hairbag