Another Attempt at Zombie Fiction (Sober for the first half) (322 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.42 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by QuinnTheEskimo (View user info) at 2007-08-21 02:16:18 EDT
Shit.
He reached a bloody hand into the pockets of his swimming shorts, and tugged out another clip. Walking backwards down the hotel hallway he reloaded his semi-automatic .44, avoiding the arms reaching towards him from every direction.
The gun roared and made his ears ring in the narrow hall. A door to his left opened and two more zombies came at him. He pointed his gun and blew the head off of the zombie to the right, but the zombie on the his left managed to grab his arm and tugged him off balance.
Shit.
He was on his knees, his gun lost when he fell. Hands that were both soggy and bony grabbed and clawed at his shoulders, his hair, tore his shirt and pushed him to the floor. This was where he was going to die. He had survived the outbreak, been the only survivor on his block and then his neighborhood and then, as far as he could tell, his own city. He hadn't seen another living person in over a year and a half.
He was on his hands and knees, trying to stand, when a zombie landed on his back, forcing him to his stomach. His hands shot around wildly and then, miraculously the gun was in his right hand. He pointed the gun over his shoulder, reaching his arm awkwardly across his face and fired randomly. The zombie was gone, and he was on his feet, blasting everything within arms reach.
He staggered away from the mass of attackers, raised his gun and pulled the trigger until he heard the sharp clicking of an empty weapon. One zombie pushed another onto a table, and the table broke under the collapsing corpse. He reached into his pocket, but found nothing, and so shoved the warm gun into his pants.
Shit.
He grabbed a leg off of the broken table and wielded it like a club, but knew by how light it was that it would not be effective. The endless barrage of opponents slowly moved towards his as he slowly backed way until his back was pressed against something cold.
A window. He swung the table leg and the glass shattered. Fresh Washington air blew across his face, cooling the his sweat. He couldn't remember what floor of the hotel he was on until he peered out of the window and realized he was on the second. Should he chance a jump? He glanced behind him at the wall of rotting humans approaching him a step at a time, and jumped.
How had he missed the group of zombies standing below his window? He landed awkward, knocking one of his feet through the chest of a zombie. The monster, even with a leg in its chest, tried to attack him. He bashed his fists against the zombie's head and worked his leg free. A bony hand grabbed his hair, but he twisted away and ran limping because his leg was sore from crashing through a chest.
He was maybe fifty feet away when he stopped running to turn around and look at the hotel. He had hoped to find food and maybe clothing, but all that had happened was he had ran out of rounds and got a deep cut down one of his arms.
He knew it was only a matter of time before he was contaminated, before he became one of them. He had already lost hope of finding other people. He knew that his life was going to end in a fight like the one he had just escaped from, but something kept him going, and he didn't know what it was anymore. However, he didn't dwell on thought like these. His began to wonder where he could get more bullets, food, and clothing. His thoughts turned to Moses Lake, but he didn't know what direction it was in, and so he set off with the sun to his back, walking slowly nursing his leg.
**I know I have two series going right now, but I got a mental image and needed to write it out. I'll post more of the Hell story and the other one soon. Sorry if you came here expecting one of those. I'm reluctant to post this because I'm buzzing and the thing I write unsober are usually flamed pretty hard, but I like this and it is written already. Deal with it.
User Reviews
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2007-09-02 20:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Really good, but you can do so much better! It really held my interest, though.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-08-22 03:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Really? -2 for the delivery? It's that bad?
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-08-22 00:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh. +2 for the subject matter, -2 for the delivery.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-21 12:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
agree with below. lots of typos and small minor problems. could have been much more than it was.
Submitted by shmack92 (user info) at 2007-08-21 10:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
good premise, just try to improve your sudden shifts of perspective (3rd to 1st person) and try not to call them zombies that much either since you don't want to overuse the word.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-21 08:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
love zombie fiction.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-21 03:23:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think booze affected this story negatively, you usually write action type things a lot better than this.