The Greatest Metal Band to Ever Fuck You Up! (1040 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.81 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flack: Shitting On Your Virtual World Since 2004 (View user info) at 2007-08-22 14:17:21 EDT
So here is my tribute to one of the most awesome bands to ever rock my fucking face off. My friends, I speak of... THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER.
The Black Dahlia Murder is a melodic death/metalcore band from Waterford and Royal Oak, Michigan. Royal Oak and Waterford are middle class suburbs of Detroit. They're also known for having a very intense metal scene. Other bands from the Detroit Metro Area include Forsaken, The Didjitts, Lithium, Soldiers of Scrape, Woden, 12 guage and Nylons,2 Ugly 4 Porn, 69 Octane and Adam's Revenge. But even though these bands kick all sorts of ass, not one of these groups can stand up to the awesome power that is TBDM.
Thier style is one of a kind. TBDM is one of those bands that takes something that's already great, makes it thier own, and you cant help but distinguish them from the rest. Its the kind of music that makes you want to hurt shit, like bad!
After a few small label releases (2001's What a Horrible Night To Have A Curse and 2002's A Cold Blooded Epitaph) TBDM was picked up Metal Blade Records and released the epitome of awesomeness, UNHALLOWED.
UnHallowed was an album releases, by many critics' opinions, WAY before its time. Within the first 2 minutes of the album, you're face is pretty much a melted heap of amphibian shit.
Select Tracks:
Funeral Thirst
Elder Misanthropy
Apex
In 2005, they came back with a brand new album full of all sorts of kick ass. 2005's MIASMA is a metal romp about the greatest cliche of all time: Sex, Drugs and Rock N Roll. The record is full of all sorts of references to partying, drinking, drugging, and a Gorilla.
Select tracks:
Satuatory Ape
A Vulgar Picture
Dave Goes To Hollywood
And now, TBDM is coming out with a brand new album, which will be released next month. Buy it, or die!
In conclusion, The Black Dahlia Murder is fucking awesome and if you think different, then you're a fucking sperm eating queer.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-03 23:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Loves me some sperm!
P.S. That movie sucked balls.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2008-04-03 21:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, they're not. they are half-decent, but only for the subset of music which they inhabit. which is essentially watered-down metal injected with an unhealthy dose of shitty punk and served with just enough pussiness to make it marketable. i'd be willing to see them live, but only once, and i'd never buy one of their albums. if you want a metal band that really might fuck you up, you have to get a lot nastier than this tripe. belphegor, anaal nathrakh, 1349, and gorgoroth are the most aggressive/hostile-sounding ones i've heard so far. while still retaining a sense of quality in their music, that is. there's plenty of underground crap that thinks good music is worth sacrificing for the sake of sheer ugliness
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-04-03 14:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
they really aint even that great
or good
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2008-04-03 13:52:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-03 08:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't believe I haven't -2ed this yet.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-03 08:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Metal: Enraging pathetic, angry white men since 1978.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-08-25 14:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am? when did we decide on this?
If I come to your country, will my American accent help me get laid? If so, I'll be there sooner than you think.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-24 05:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
flack you fuck, lets rock to some damn proper music!
God knows why this made me smile
Ahhh i do its cause Flacks gonna make me tea one day.
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2007-08-24 05:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Question?
Why would a young man choose to enter an environment where he is exposed EXCLUSIVELY to authoritarian father figures and competitive male sibling figures?
And not a woman in sight.....
Got some issues there, army-boy?
Submitted by Prime36L (user info) at 2007-08-23 16:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-23 15:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aren't they one of those bands that sound like:
"CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA
CHIG-CHIGGA CHIG-CHIGGA
CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA
CHIG-CHIGGA CHIG-CHIGGA
CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA
CHIG-CHIGGA CHIG-CHIGGA"
Finally after three minutes of that, the singer belts out:
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
BAAH RAAH RAAH BAAH
BAHH RAAH RAAH RAAH RAAAAAH
HOO ROO ROO RA ROO
RAAAH ROO ROOO" ......
______________________________________
Have my babies.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-23 16:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-23 15:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
BAAH RAAH RAAH BAAH
BAHH RAAH RAAH RAAH RAAAAAH
HOO ROO ROO RA ROO
RAAAH ROO ROOO"
...
----------
All those bands owe Habeeb a dollar.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-23 15:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aren't they one of those bands that sound like:
"CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA
CHIG-CHIGGA CHIG-CHIGGA
CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA
CHIG-CHIGGA CHIG-CHIGGA
CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA-CHIGGA
CHIG-CHIGGA CHIG-CHIGGA"
Finally after three minutes of that, the singer belts out:
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
BAAH RAAH RAAH BAAH
BAHH RAAH RAAH RAAH RAAAAAH
HOO ROO ROO RA ROO
RAAAH ROO ROOO"
Then the CHIGGA part.
Then the BAAAAH RAAA RAAA part.
Then the CHIGGA part again.
Then the BAAA RAA RAAA part again, followed by something semi-understandable about killing your dad.
Then the super sweet, super distorted, super fast guitar solo.
Back to the BAA RAA RAA part.
Then fade out with the CHIGGA CHIGGA CHIGGA part.
They all sound the same to me.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2007-08-23 11:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-08-23 00:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Metalcore sucks ass.
It shouldn't be counted as "metal".
===========================================
Not all metalcore sucks. a lot of the newer stuff does, but nothing compares to Overcast. Probably one of the most influential but underrated bands that was out there.
aftershock was pretty sick, too.
massachusettes metal ftw.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-08-23 09:37:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-08-23 06:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Death metal comes from Finland, and nowhere else.
----------------
You know, I've always wondered about that. How is it that the norse countries have cornered the market on Death Metal? Something to do with being the decendants of blood thirsty, "just killin time and villagers waitin for the end of the world" vikings? Problems with the long darkness experienced by the upper countries in winter? Curiosity abounds.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-08-23 06:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Death metal comes from Finland, and nowhere else.
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-08-23 00:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Metalcore sucks ass.
It shouldn't be counted as "metal".
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-22 22:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 22:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have every Zeppelin bootleg from 1969, as well as some assorted others. it took me a couple minutes but I found the first 2 discs of bonzo's birthday party. the third disc doesn't seem to be out there anywhere
http://www.4shared.com/dir/3188365/371b6dc5/Led_Zeppelin_-_19730531_Inglewood.html
here's the setlist in order
http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~qr6y-ykt/index/index321.html
---------
Awesomeness! Thanks!
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 22:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have every Zeppelin bootleg from 1969, as well as some assorted others. it took me a couple minutes but I found the first 2 discs of bonzo's birthday party. the third disc doesn't seem to be out there anywhere
http://www.4shared.com/dir/3188365/371b6dc5/Led_Zeppelin_-_19730531_Inglewood.html
here's the setlist in order
http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~qr6y-ykt/index/index321.html
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
..........alongside 4200 other albums spanning 50 genres
========
Day-um! That's a lot. *psst!* What kind of bootlegs you got? I'm trying to locate someone with a copy of Zeppelin's Bonzo's Birthday Party.
Hmmm....does anyone else here like Goatwhore and Celtic Frost?
Ha @ Shlongy "Spinal Tap Jr."
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're the one who got all pissy when I alerted you to the fact that arch enemy is rehashed contrived melodeath schlock for pussies
you seem to take the weakling limp-wrist approach to music, wherein everybody's opinions are equal and valid and everyone gets along, but the reality is there are objective aspects to music that can be judged, like originality. arch enemy isn't original. their riffs are all ripoffs from previous superior bands like at the gates and carcass. I'm pretty sure they've even ripped off riffs that they wrote 5 albums ago that were ripoffs of other bands originally
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally brining your A-Game, anyways, concerning the "Limp-Wrist" approach to music, I only stated that as an obligatory statement because it is factual. No matter what you think or say, the shittiest most disgusting bands out there will have fans. And unless those fans come up to you and say "Hi this band is the be all end all, fuck what you think!" (sort of like the guy in this post) Just shut the fuck up and wait for your opinion and your years and years of illegal downloading, to kick in. I mean i'm not very well going to go into a thread where they're talking about how Hendrix is God, on a website about Jimi Hendrix and say he sucks and try to support my argument, I would however troll it and say he sucks just to piss off everyone there, but that's beside the point.
As I also stated "I agree however, there are terrible bands out there."
In this case, the guy said that Black Dahlia Murder is the greatest band, I said I disagreed, I think Arch Enemy is better than Dahlia. My friend tried to get me into Dahlia, but they just didn't take, he also tried to get me into Arch Enemy, I thought they were some what superior. So in my mind the two were associated together somewhere through that one guy. How were you supposed to know this? You didn't, and i'm sure you don't give a shit.
And i'm not going to defend Arch Enemy all that much, seeing as I don't consider them a favorite band of mine. I like maybe two of their albums. But enough of that, original or not, they still put on a good fucking show. And if you're one of those people that can't enjoy a good show because "Ehh i'm an elitist prick, this band sounds too much like some other band!" Then that's your loss.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're the one who got all pissy when I alerted you to the fact that arch enemy is rehashed contrived melodeath schlock for pussies
you seem to take the weakling limp-wrist approach to music, wherein everybody's opinions are equal and valid and everyone gets along, but the reality is there are objective aspects to music that can be judged, like originality. arch enemy isn't original. their riffs are all ripoffs from previous superior bands like at the gates and carcass. I'm pretty sure they've even ripped off riffs that they wrote 5 albums ago that were ripoffs of other bands originally
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you pegged me wrong, I don't need to listen to Exodus clips because I own their discography, alongside 4200 other albums spanning 50 genres
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Nice, completely ignore entire portions of an argument, and selectively reply to what you want to. I think the only thing you read was.
"your defining what is good and what sucks. Exodus, or well pretty much any band. Listen to like ten seconds and say "I've been listening to music since forever I know it all." claim "It'll never get better than the classics! The Stones man!" I agree however And that band are fucking Gods."
At least that's what it seems to me, but probably all you'll get out of this argument is.
Death Metal Dude is Awesome!
And then you'll just comment. something like
"Yeah man I own a guitar."
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is that Spinal Tap Jr?
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you pegged me wrong, I don't need to listen to Exodus clips because I own their discography, alongside 4200 other albums spanning 50 genres
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-08-22 19:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OOOOOOOH,I loves da hardcore metal(some Death Metal is crap though,like most of the Death metal clowns think their Witches and Warlocks-and they won't go into a mosh pit 'cause they're too afraid to sweat out the hair gel). When my kids slap on der rappy crappy music or der emos garbage.
I go into my collection and slap on MOTORHEAD,BIOHAZARD,DEFTONES,AND STUFF LIKE THAT, and it blows der arses out the house.
+1 for good write up
+1 for the dude with the MOTORHEAD shirt
+1 'cause you rock
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-08-22 19:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 19:36:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've forgotten more music than you'll ever hear, stfu, I'll mop the floor with you on any genre
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
LOL OMG you're a riot, Listen Phil Anselmo, can I call you Phil "The Douche Bag" Anselmo? Funny how you turn this into a "Defending your pride" kind of thing, when my comment was aimed at your defining what is good and what sucks. You seem to me to be one of those guys that goes into a forum for say Exodus, or well pretty much any band. Listen to like ten seconds and say "Oh yeah that shit sucks, I should know i'm in a band and I play guitar." Or "Yeah I know guys in a band, and they can blow that guy out of the water." Or better yet "I've been listening to music since forever I know it all." Music is fucking music, there are people who can like any of it, or douchebags like you that can shit on all of it and claim "It'll never get better than the classics! The Stones man!" I agree however, there are terrible bands out there. But regardless of what you think that band probably has a fan somewhere. And to them that band are fucking Gods.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 19:36:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've forgotten more music than you'll ever hear, stfu, I'll mop the floor with you on any genre
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-08-22 19:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and I realize Arch Enemy has been around for a while, however, not until recently did they start to get some attention.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-08-22 19:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 17:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
1) arch enemy has been around for a long long time
2) arch enemy is fucking terrible
---------------------------------------------------
lol @ pretentious douche bag that sits around all day commenting on what is "Hard Core"
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2007-08-22 18:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'd rather listen to motely crue
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 17:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
1) arch enemy has been around for a long long time
2) arch enemy is fucking terrible
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-08-22 17:27:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Have to disagree with you there. They're (ok) and that's a stretch, however they're not the greatest. Had you said greatest newcomer's and switched Black Dhalia Murder with Arch Enemy or something along those lines then I might've agreed.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-22 17:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ever gotten stoned and listened to Ben Harper?
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2007-08-22 17:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Black Dahlia Murder absolutely sucks. If you're even going to bother with metal listen to something less contrived.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2007-08-22 17:03:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
completely atrocious music
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2007-08-22 15:15:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Black Dahlia Murder sucks.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-22 15:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-22 15:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Prime36L (user info) at 2007-08-22 15:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Its the kind of music that makes you want to hurt shit, like bad! "
Judging from the look of em, their music would make me want to hurt you. Like bad.
Submitted by Geophillyx (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thier style is one of a kind. TBDM is one of those bands....
i find that rather oximoronic...if their music is as good as their faces, then i'd rather gargle some mayonnaise instead
posers...
Submitted by Prime36L (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Who is the sixth guy? In the back behind the others?
oh, must be this guy.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111133
__________________
When off the stage, he's in the middle, not the back.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Who is the sixth guy? In the back behind the others?
oh, must be this guy.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111133
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
going to Ozzfest, Flack?
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
real metal was around before these pasty fucks were even born.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I prefer sperm whale.
Submitted by Prime36L (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Blank stares = cool
I bet they looked even more hardcore leaving the photo shoot in the lead singer's mom's Buick Century.
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
look like emo fags to me
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think i'll choose death
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-08-22 14:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The guy on the right in the Motorhead t-shirt has eaten a few too many hearts, it would appear. Metal is hard, fat is soft. INSAIJS.


