UGR: Shag On My Carpet and Semen Stains (2455 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1.44 on 118 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by scourge(is gay) (View user info) at 2007-08-22 20:02:29 EDT
Contest Submission. Ahem.
(Burrrrrpppppp)
OK, here goes.
So you know that bart and I are really good pals. We email each other all the time. We even "IM"- well, he IM's me, but I'm afraid to respond because I think he's just after cyber butt-sex and I'm not interested. Also, I don't know HOW to IM and I'm afraid if I ever start doing it, I'll turn into one of those Uber Circle Jerkers that we all hate, only I would be a LITTLE bit cooler than they are because I would spend most of my "IM" time trying to "hook up" with any of the Uber broads who don't weigh in at over 135lbs.
But I have to pretend that I like him or he won't keep sending me checks. It's like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry keeps getting checks sent to him from Japan - I think every check is for $.14 - for his appearance on the "Super Terrific Happy Hour". Only MY checks are for $25 for each 100 reviews that I leave.
That's why it absolutely sucked when I noticed that my reviews were stuck on 32,767 for, like two weeks. We know THAT couldn't be accurate - I leave 42 reviews each day before I take my first shit of the day.
So, I started to think that maybe bart was pissed off at me for some reason...all I could think of was he was cheesed off because I haven't posted lately and I agree with him- there hasn't been very many quality posts lately, unless you count someone like Kaos-King's or Axotol's posts - but I don't think too many people do count those. Since I didn't want to become one of those annoying Uber dorks with no rating ability, like Darko, for example, I asked bart what the fuck the story was. he must have been sitting near his computer with his email open, as usual, hoping someone would email him, because he got back to me in like 17 minutes.
bart responded that I "broke Ubersite", and then started telling me about some computer code system acid reflux, nebulator shaft, icon, INTEL, computer-geek speak stuff, and after I gave up reading it around line number 2, I emailed him back and told him to stop drinking so early in the morning and just fix it.
The conversation went something like this:
From:Scourge.at.eatmyass.net
bart: How come my NUMBER of "reviews" seems to be frozen at 32,767
for the last week or so?
>
> How am I going to continue to add to my Uber review world record if
the reviews from the last week or two don't count?
>
> My -2 ratings still seem to count...is there a bug in the system or
am I on suspension?
>
> Please advise...Thanks.
scourgy
He responded with:
Dear scourge:
You got me. Looks like there's some kind of bug.
2 ^ 4 = 16
2 ^ 5 = 32
2 ^ 6 = 64
2 ^ 7 = 128
2 ^ 8 = 256
...
2 ^ 14 = 16,384
2 ^ 15 = 32,768 !!!
You broke Ubersite! Seriously, I think this was one of the things
where I originally thought to myself "I'm sure this field is big
enough, I mean WHO is ever going to write thirty two thousand
comments?"
I'll fix it later and it will update properly from then on.
Thanks for breaking things and pointing it out.
bart
Well, THIS really cleared things up.
I bitched and moaned something along the lines of "what the fuck are you babbling about? I don't need an explanation, I just want it fixed, El Capitan"...and bart emailed back - at 3:38am mind you - the following:
Check this out...
http://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.0/en/numeric-types.html
under the maximum value for a SMALLINT.
Tada!
bart
Now, if you go to this link - and I did because I'm that kind of guy - you get THIS:
10.2. Numeric Types
MySQL supports all of the standard SQL numeric data types. These types include the exact numeric data types (INTEGER, SMALLINT, DECIMAL, and NUMERIC), as well as the approximate numeric data types (FLOAT, REAL, and DOUBLE PRECISION). The keyword INT is a synonym for INTEGER, and the keyword DEC is a synonym for DECIMAL. For numeric type storage requirements, see Section 10.5, "Data Type Storage Requirements".
As of MySQL 5.0.3, a BIT data type is available for storing bit-field values. (Before 5.0.3, MySQL interprets BIT as TINYINT(1).) In MySQL 5.0.3, BIT is supported only for MyISAM. MySQL 5.0.5 extends BIT support to MEMORY, InnoDB, and BDB.
As an extension to the SQL standard, MySQL also supports the integer types TINYINT, MEDIUMINT, and BIGINT. The following table shows the required storage and range for each of the integer types.
Type Bytes Minimum Value Maximum Value
(Signed/Unsigned) (Signed/Unsigned)
TINYINT 1 -128 127
0 255
SMALLINT 2 -32768 32767
0 65535
MEDIUMINT 3 -8388608 8388607
0 16777215
INT 4 -2147483648 2147483647
0 4294967295
BIGINT 8 -9223372036854775808 9223372036854775807
0 18446744073709551615
Another extension is supported by MySQL for optionally specifying the display width of integer data types in parentheses following the base keyword for the type (for example, INT(4)). This optional display width is used to display integer values having a width less than the width specified for the column by left-padding them with spaces.
The display width does not constrain the range of values that can be stored in the column, nor the number of digits that are displayed for values having a width exceeding that specified for the column. For example, a column specified as SMALLINT(3) has the usual SMALLINT range of -32768 to 32767, and values outside the range allowed by three characters are displayed using more than three characters.
When used in conjunction with the optional extension attribute ZEROFILL, the default padding of spaces is replaced with zeros. For example, for a column declared as INT(5) ZEROFILL, a value of 4 is retrieved as 00004. Note that if you store larger values than the display width in an integer column, you may experience problems when MySQL generates temporary tables for some complicated joins, because in these cases MySQL assumes that the data fits into the original column width.
Note: The ZEROFILL attribute is stripped when a column is involved in expressions or UNION queries.
All integer types can have an optional (non-standard) attribute UNSIGNED. Unsigned values can be used when you want to allow only non-negative numbers in a column and you need a larger upper numeric range for the column. For example, if an INT column is UNSIGNED, the size of the column's range is the same but its endpoints shift from -2147483648 and 2147483647 up to 0 and 4294967295.
Floating-point and fixed-point types also can be UNSIGNED. As with integer types, this attribute prevents negative values from being stored in the column. However, unlike the integer types, the upper range of column values remains the same.
If you specify ZEROFILL for a numeric column, MySQL automatically adds the UNSIGNED attribute to the column.
For floating-point data types, MySQL uses four bytes for single-precision values and eight bytes for double-precision values.
The FLOAT and DOUBLE data types are used to represent approximate numeric data values. For FLOAT the SQL standard allows an optional specification of the precision (but not the range of the exponent) in bits following the keyword FLOAT in parentheses. MySQL also supports this optional precision specification, but the precision value is used only to determine storage size. A precision from 0 to 23 results in a four-byte single-precision FLOAT column. A precision from 24 to 53 results in an eight-byte double-precision DOUBLE column.
MySQL allows a non-standard syntax: FLOAT(M,D) or REAL(M,D) or DOUBLE PRECISION(M,D). Here, "(M,D)" means than values can be stored with up to M digits in total, of which D digits may be after the decimal point. For example, a column defined as FLOAT(7,4) will look like -999.9999 when displayed. MySQL performs rounding when storing values, so if you insert 999.00009 into a FLOAT(7,4) column, the approximate result is 999.0001.
MySQL treats DOUBLE as a synonym for DOUBLE PRECISION (a non-standard extension). MySQL also treats REAL as a synonym for DOUBLE PRECISION (a non-standard variation), unless the REAL_AS_FLOAT SQL mode is enabled.
For maximum portability, code requiring storage of approximate numeric data values should use FLOAT or DOUBLE PRECISION with no specification of precision or number of digits.
The DECIMAL and NUMERIC data types are used to store exact numeric data values. In MySQL, NUMERIC is implemented as DECIMAL. These types are used to store values for which it is important to preserve exact precision, for example with monetary data.
As of MySQL 5.0.3, DECIMAL and NUMERIC values are stored in binary format. Previously, they were stored as strings, with one character used for each digit of the value, the decimal point (if the scale is greater than 0), and the '-' sign (for negative numbers). See Chapter 22, Precision Math.
When declaring a DECIMAL or NUMERIC column, the precision and scale can be (and usually is) specified; for example:
salary DECIMAL(5,2)
In this example, 5 is the precision and 2 is the scale. The precision represents the number of significant digits that are stored for values, and the scale represents the number of digits that can be stored following the decimal point. If the scale is 0, DECIMAL and NUMERIC values contain no decimal point or fractional part.
Standard SQL requires that the salary column be able to store any value with five digits and two decimals. In this case, therefore, the range of values that can be stored in the salary column is from -999.99 to 999.99. MySQL enforces this limit as of MySQL 5.0.3. Before 5.0.3, on the positive end of the range, the column could actually store numbers up to 9999.99. (For positive numbers, MySQL 5.0.2 and earlier used the byte reserved for the sign to extend the upper end of the range.)
In standard SQL, the syntax DECIMAL(M) is equivalent to DECIMAL(M,0). Similarly, the syntax DECIMAL is equivalent to DECIMAL(M,0), where the implementation is allowed to decide the value of M. MySQL supports both of these variant forms of the DECIMAL and NUMERIC syntax. The default value of M is 10.
The maximum number of digits for DECIMAL or NUMERIC is 65 (64 from MySQL 5.0.3 to 5.0.5). Before MySQL 5.0.3, the maximum range of DECIMAL and NUMERIC values is the same as for DOUBLE, but the actual range for a given DECIMAL or NUMERIC column can be constrained by the precision or scale for a given column. When such a column is assigned a value with more digits following the decimal point than are allowed by the specified scale, the value is converted to that scale. (The precise behavior is operating system-specific, but generally the effect is truncation to the allowable number of digits.)
As of MySQL 5.0.3, the BIT data type is used to store bit-field values. A type of BIT(M) allows for storage of M-bit values. M can range from 1 to 64.
To specify bit values, b'value' notation can be used. value is a binary value written using zeros and ones. For example, b'111' and b'10000000' represent 7 and 128, respectively. See Section 8.1.5, "Bit-Field Values".
If you assign a value to a BIT(M) column that is less than M bits long, the value is padded on the left with zeros. For example, assigning a value of b'101' to a BIT(6) column is, in effect, the same as assigning b'000101'.
When asked to store a value in a numeric column that is outside the data type's allowable range, MySQL's behavior depends on the SQL mode in effect at the time. For example, if no restrictive modes are enabled, MySQL clips the value to the appropriate endpoint of the range and stores the resulting value instead. However, if the mode is set to TRADITIONAL, MySQL rejects a value that is out of range with an error, and the insert fails, in accordance with the SQL standard.
In non-strict mode, when an out-of-range value is assigned to an integer column, MySQL stores the value representing the corresponding endpoint of the column data type range. If you store 256 into a TINYINT or TINYINT UNSIGNED column, MySQL stores 127 or 255, respectively. When a floating-point or fixed-point column is assigned a value that exceeds the range implied by the specified (or default) precision and scale, MySQL stores the value representing the corresponding endpoint of that range.
Conversions that occur due to clipping when MySQL is not operating in strict mode are reported as warnings for ALTER TABLE, LOAD DATA INFILE, UPDATE, and multiple-row INSERT statements. When MySQL is operating in strict mode, these statements fail, and some or all of the values will not be inserted or changed, depending on whether the table is a transactional table and other factors. For details, see Section 5.2.6, "SQL Modes".
DID YOU ALL GET THAT? I think bart was having a little fun at my expense.
But, if THIS isn't "action-adventure" I don't know WHAT the fuck is!!!
On a side note, the reviews are now fixed and I can safely make my way toward "infinity" once again.
The moral of the story: bart can fix anything! As long as he has a man-crush on you, he'll go the extra mile.
ON TO ROUND 2 FOR ME.
Ta da.
The end.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-07 20:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-04-07 19:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You gunna rape wunnodem bitchiz wif ya bottel?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-01 19:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't believe I spelled "buy" wrong...
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-01 10:22:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Youre the best Shlongy
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-01 09:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Note to whomever it is that insists on spending $1 and donating to the "By bart a fruity cocktail fund" on the Uberboard:
Save your cash and just send me some pictures of your snatch and set up an appointment to swallow my goo.
Signed, Shlongy.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-31 15:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-31 14:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nahhhhhhh....
I have the t-shirt.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-31 14:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ehm.. well done, you. +2 Slutting around since 1960 (1959?)- NO STDs. Shall I have it printed on a cup for you?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-31 14:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're kidding...47 years without even an itch, baby.
I'm proud of that record...no crabs...no STD's...no peculiar oozings....CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.
Considering all of the love tunnels my stuff has visited in the past 30 years, It's a fucking miracle.
I have some of the best cock n' balls in the business. It's been confirmed!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-31 13:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you don't mind sweetheart, I'm going to try my best to avoid catching anything from you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-30 18:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Every great comedic mind - and I'm placing Shlongy on top of THAT list - has a signature, "go to" line...or move.
"Show me your hole" happens to be Shlongy's and will some day, be as famous as Henny Youngman's "Take my wife...please" or Dave Chappelle's "I'm Rick James, be-yotch".
If it's not already.
I like you too, Fey, for different reasons that have nothing to do with Uber, if you catch my drift.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-30 17:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Comments like this; Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-25 14:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never mind you dropping links into Shlongy posts - Lord knows it's great advertising and exposure for you - but what the fuck was THIS post all about?
are the actual reason I like you. Believe it or not, your "show me your hole" bit will only take you so far.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-08-30 11:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-30 00:14:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
btw - next time you're in the area, let me know and I'll try again :-(
You look like sting if he ever attended a baseball game.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-29 20:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Trust me, and I think I can safely speak for most of Uber when I say this...you don't wanna see Shlongy's hole.
Hell, I DON'T WANT TO SEE Shlongy's hole.
Although, as far as holes go, it's not too shabby.
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2007-08-29 20:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
show me your hole my and my life is complete
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-29 15:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't know it either, until last Tuesday night...this random song ended Episode 2 of "weeds" on Showtime...
after 4 days of intense research, I finally came up with the song and band name...and voila.
I've been playing it non stop at the office and at home.
Listen...I'm playing it right now. http://www.myspace.com/thethermals
HERE'S YOUR FUTURE.
We should probably get married.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-08-29 15:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i had no idea you liked the thermals.
WONDERFUL.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-25 17:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah???
This fag won almost $700 in less than three hours in a $2-$5 No Limit cash game on the Savannah Boat today.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-08-25 12:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you ever seen the movie Jackal? where bruce willis is an assassin trying to shoot the first lady?
there's a scene where he gets all gayed out and stays at some queers house and kills him after they fuck.
you look like bruce willis from that scene of that movie.
fag.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-25 04:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This could be the most informative post ever.............ANYWHERE.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 22:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I CONCUR.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-08-24 21:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WINNER
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-24 19:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"C'mon...I don't HAVE a colsotomy bag."
so wait, dont you mean a colon-sodomy bag Shlong-esque?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 18:47:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK...WHO'S UP FOR SOME NAKED "IM-ing"???
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 18:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TYPO!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 18:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
C'mon...I don't HAVE a colsotomy bag.
I just shit my pants...it's easier and if the truth be known, kind of fun.
And sexy.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-08-24 17:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-23 18:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not much of it.
What's that have to do with you, you stupid fucktard?
-----------
Don't get your colostomy bag all bent out of shape man.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 15:20:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sounds like a plan...I'm OUTTA here.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-24 15:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My prudish facade hides a wild side you'd never be able to imagine.
Or touch.
But we can chat at a later date.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 14:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Unfortunately, Fey, yes, you are.
I have lost interest in being at work and will leave soon, to swing by SOME outside bar ( location TBD) and start having some drinks on my way home.
Let's argue some other time. When we get all hot and bothered, we can then engage in some hot cyber sex!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-24 14:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh no !!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-24 14:43:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 13:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who wants to argue about mindless shit and call each other names?
___
Am I too late to apply?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 13:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who wants to argue about mindless shit and call each other names?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 11:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I once - OK, MORE than once - had a broad gag on my dick.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-24 10:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once had a girl 'spit' over my stomach..........
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 10:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Swallowing is almost ALWAYS a plus.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-24 10:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was waiting until after deadline to rate, but I saw when this went up on the front page and nearly did a spittake when I laughed. It's OK though, I swallowed instead.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-24 08:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So, did I emerge victorious, as usual?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-08-24 08:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"there hasn't been very many quality posts lately, unless you count someone like Kaos-King's or Axotol's posts - but I don't think too many people do count those."
**dies**
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-24 03:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-23 19:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-23 19:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-23 18:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not much of it.
What's that have to do with you, you stupid fucktard?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-08-23 18:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-23 18:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Beano- did you even read the post?
Actually, I don't want you to read it. Just log off, go back to your bird-spanking websites, and never return before I kill you.
--------------
Yeah I read it. You read any of the stuff you habitually -2?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-23 18:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Beano- did you even read the post?
Actually, I don't want you to read it. Just log off, go back to your bird-spanking websites, and never return before I kill you.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-08-23 18:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A well earned -2.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-23 17:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will do, JulsInsane.
Also, to the turd burglar who feels like Shlongy reviews HIMSELF too much, or "25,000 out of my 34,000 reviews are on my own posts".
I don't think 7% of the 34,000 reviews on my own posts is out of line.
And neither does the guy who pays me to review on Uber.
So why don't you just sit in the corner and eat shit.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-08-23 15:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-08-23 13:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Today has been really boring around here so Im going to respectfully request that one of you have a emotional meltdown, post nude photos of yourself, fuck another uberuser and then create ensuing drama, or post a photo of yourself in general touting your beauty despite your inability to fit through a standard 3-0 x 7-0 door frame.
GET ON IT!
MUSH BITCHES MUSH!!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-23 15:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm glad you got that fixed, because I'm right behind you in the ratings, bub.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-23 14:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-23 09:08:39 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet you 25,000 of your ~35k reviews came as a response to someone on your own post. Over/under?
============
How other users have rated shlongy
Shlongy (user info) -693 on 2737 = -0.25
============
Nope, apparently shlongy isn't quite that lame.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-23 13:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
plus two for the silver bullet
Shlongy where did you hide your walker in that picture?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-08-23 13:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-08-23 12:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"hook up" with any of the Uber broads who don't weigh in at over 135lbs
-----
*sigh* I weigh more than that these days. I'm going to go eat ice cream now.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-23 12:08:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet you 25,000 of your ~35k reviews came as a response to someone on your own post. Over/under?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-23 12:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If someone wants your opinion, jagoff, they'll take a shit and talk to the bowl.
BTW, this WAS done anonymously.
Shlongy is a mystery to Uber. He's really someone else.
Submitted by azurefroz (user info) at 2007-08-23 11:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't tie in with the title
Didn't stick with the genre (other than mentioning it)
Ctrl + C, Ctrl + V for filler
Didn't edit
Didn't do much for me
Before you garner your giant geriatric fly-off-the-handle-with-cutting-edge-witty remarks diatribe, note that you'll still win because it seems as though scourge will be forfeiting. Contests can only be done fairly and without bias if they are anonymous.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-08-23 11:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, I liked the treatment. It was like Garrison Keillor on crack.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-23 11:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I took a few "creative liberties" with the title, so don't blame the contest organizer for this.
Blame him for everything else, though.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-08-23 11:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoever came up with this title should be dragged across a shag carpet coated in AIDS-infested jizz.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-08-23 11:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember when I used to write hundreds of reviews. stupid baby ruining my uber career.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-23 11:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'LL say.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-23 10:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, no way the competition can top THIS piece. I'm guessing whoever is playing against this piece will forfeit.
ps, Zebra is a moron.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-08-23 09:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Eh, I'll give you a pos rating for taking the time/initiative to learn something about programming. But holy hell am I blinded by the sun glaring off of your head. :)
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-23 09:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Still waiting on those pictures of you in a corset you promised me, Shlongy.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-23 09:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you ever end up in cheeseland I'll take you out for beers.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-23 09:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm off to Savannah today...which one of you broads is meeting me for lunch?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-08-23 08:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
haha you guys suck.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-23 08:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fine I'll keep your heat going.
Shlongy, what are your thoughts on (insert issue here), and how (insert person/group here) is/are handling it?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-23 08:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That's it? I expected much more out of this gem.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-08-23 02:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-23 02:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Indeed
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-08-22 23:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Prime36L (user info) at 2007-08-22 22:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rescue Me was fucking awesome the first 3 seasons. The 4th season is shit.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-22 22:27:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I skipped straight to the picture. As usual.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 22:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Rescue Me" on F/X is the best show on TV.
Discuss.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-08-22 22:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I did not. Nice.
Webb's streak is over. Fuck the Brewers.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mondo
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you see that the Rangers scored 30 runs this afternoon?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy. Talk to bart about this proxy thing.
play ball
bye
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
time for the game. I'm eating chili. It's really good.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I emailed bart BACK again - BTW, those emails in this post are all 100% real - and linked to this post.
I wonder how he'll rate it.
Probably with his usual "-2 No Comment".
That rat bastard.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lungfish, you bastard. That was just between us.
I hate that you made me control f myself.
Damn near tore my rotator cuff.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahaha
I didn't see that last one, Lungfish.
------
Zebra -- I mentioned you in a review on my last shitty post. I think you'll appreciate it.
(I'd link but this fuckin' proxy won't let me. Bart hates Elvis, btw.)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"The Superintendent's gonna be pissed".
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'Sup Blondie
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahaha
I didn't see that last one, Lungfish.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
exactamundo
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TheUniter 2 below.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
me
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drunken asshole below.
And above.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:15:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I'm just that much of a knob.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 baseball camwhore. If Webb pitches another shut-out, I'm going to +2 everything on the first page.
Yeah, I'm just that radical.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 baseball camwhore. I Webb pitches another shut-out, I'm going to +2 everything on the first page.
Yeah, I'm just that radical.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Either this post is pretty funny or I'm drunk because I'm sitting here giggling like SunnyG at a Doctor's appointment.
-------------------
UNFUNNY, MY AUNT IS A DOCTOR...OH GOD!
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
who the fuck came up with the stupid ass titles?
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-08-22 21:04:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
10.2. Numeric Types
MySQL supports all of the standard SQL numeric data types. These types include the exact numeric data types (INTEGER, SMALLINT, DECIMAL, and NUMERIC), as well as the approximate numeric data types (FLOAT, REAL, and DOUBLE PRECISION). The keyword INT is a synonym for INTEGER, and the keyword DEC is a synonym for DECIMAL. For numeric type storage requirements, see Section 10.5, "Data Type Storage Requirements".
As of MySQL 5.0.3, a BIT data type is available for storing bit-field values. (Before 5.0.3, MySQL interprets BIT as TINYINT(1).) In MySQL 5.0.3, BIT is supported only for MyISAM. MySQL 5.0.5 extends BIT support to MEMORY, InnoDB, and BDB.
As an extension to the SQL standard, MySQL also supports the integer types TINYINT, MEDIUMINT, and BIGINT. The following table shows the required storage and range for each of the integer types.
Type Bytes Minimum Value Maximum Value
(Signed/Unsigned) (Signed/Unsigned)
TINYINT 1 -128 127
0 255
SMALLINT 2 -32768 32767
0 65535
MEDIUMINT 3 -8388608 8388607
0 16777215
INT 4 -2147483648 2147483647
0 4294967295
BIGINT 8 -9223372036854775808 9223372036854775807
0 18446744073709551615
The above and Scourge(is gay) makes perfect sense to me.(+1)
I would have given this post +2,but fer chrissakes! Is that a frickin' Coors light in yer hand (-1)
However,this was a decent post (+1)
So +2 fer da shlong-guy.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Enjoyable work you crusty old nerd.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 pushing the site beyond its threshold. I hope bart changed the field to BIGINT just for you!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Either this post is pretty funny or I'm drunk because I'm sitting here giggling like SunnyG at a Doctor's appointment.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't write this. Scourge did.
CAN'T YOU GUYS READ???
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read about 4 lines of the SQL part and understood it, because I am not 65.
It's ok, you'll get your ratings back soon enough, and you can continue to give chicks +2s in no time
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that is true...they were not, though they were moderately priced and that sort of made up for it.
$3.00 for a dirty martini is more than fair I'd say.
Fuckers wouldn't let me leave with my drink though.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been to Greensboro a couple of times the past few years for the tournament, before they changed the dates this year... but not this year...
Friends of mine who went DID comment on the Grey Goose Tent- these are guys who work for the tour event down here - but they said even though you needed a pass to get in the tent...that THE DRINKS WERE NOT FREE???
That's blasphemy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm SOOOOO confused!
Hopefully, so will the judges.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not that I care.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neither did I (read this, that is)
I did, however, attend my first PGA function...Fed-Ex cup or something I think, in Greensboro last week. Didn't see for golf, as it was raining; but I did spend some quality time in the grey goose tent. That, coupled with the free beer, made for quite an enjoyable time.
Now, I understand...
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, wait. Is this a contest?
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's see if I can get it above 1.9
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still works.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ratings-wise, I mean.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's see if I can still do a heavy lifting.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I do, however, agree with your username and filename.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I leave 42 reviews each day before I take my first shit of the day."
And that makes 43.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
These contests sure are "hits per post" average killers.
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're getting the benefit of the doubt, if you really wrote all that and not copied and pasted it +2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-22 20:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck. I hope you lose to Shlongy.