Shlongy, make love to me in the desert! (1359 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.58 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by netimportant (View user info) at 2007-08-24 23:52:40 EDT
Shlongy, I want to tongue your stubbly bald head, wrap you up in seaweed and eat you with the pair of chopsticks I stole from the Tibetan hooker who sells weed in the alley behind my favorite hot dog place.
Love me with your tender arthritic hands. Old people like to knit, right? Knit me booties and I'll wear them for you. Only them. Like that chick in Titanic before Leonardo Di Caprio freezes to death.
Or do you prefer bingo? We can play bingo. I'll let you do unimaginable things to me with that combined marker and glue stick device for playing bingo United States Patent 5927880.
I don't mind the hair in your ears and your wrinkly ball sack. I quite enjoy a man who tastes like whiskey and stale urine. It's so dirty and unhygienic, yet refined.
May I engage in a game of golf with your country club friends? We could hire top-notch escorts, bring them back to our five-star hotel, and fill up our hot tubs with hundred dollar bills and cocaine. Let's replace the unloved emptiness in our hearts with material worth and artificial highs!
What kind of car do you drive, Shlongy? I hope it's very expensive. I dream of foursomes with you and Bob Barker and Dick Clark on the hood of your Porsche Carrera.
We can drive into the desert, share a bottle of Milk of Magnesia, and feed each other prunes to keep ourselves regular. You like prunes, don't you, Shlongy?
What do you say, my love?
User Reviews
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-27 14:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"arthritic hands"
god this made me laugh
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-27 11:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not for me...I jacked off to it!
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-08-27 11:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
complete waste of time
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-26 17:58:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-25 23:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is almost as good as mine http://www.ubersite.com/m/63726
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-08-25 18:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111223
I'm on a high.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-25 17:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Try using Quaker State, 10W-30.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-08-25 15:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My vagina is dry as the Sahara, anyway!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-25 14:44:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
As Certified counsel for Herbert J. Shlongy, I can assure you Mr. Shlongy will NOT make love to you in the desert.
He WILL make love to you in the vagina, however.
-JonnyX, Esq.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-25 08:31:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64248
And that list only goes through April , 2005.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-25 08:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is...
FUCKING OUTSTANDING.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-25 04:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
To work...
...on my masterpiece.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-25 04:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok Mr Fish, have a lovely day.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-25 04:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've got "Carolina" rhyming with "vagina" and "angina."
To work.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-25 04:40:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This could be Ubers greatest ever competition!! I may wait till this serious story telling one is out of the way though.....Shlongy needs his own stage, well I may wait a few days.
Its beautifully sunny in Bristol (my home town) and I get to stand in the sunshine all day, anyone one for pimms?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-25 04:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh I might come up with a limerick.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-25 04:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im thinking of doing an UberShlongylove competition, dedications to the great man, even poems. Come on guys whose in!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-25 03:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-08-25 01:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope I'm as cool as Shlongy when I'm getting regular prostate exams.
Submitted by fidelcity (user info) at 2007-08-25 01:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
alter
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-08-25 01:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Can my dog have sloppy seconds?
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-08-25 00:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like a plan. :)
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-08-24 21:05:01 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I apologize, HateMudkips. I too hate mudkips. Why can't we all just get along? You and I can share Shlongy. I will wipe and feed him and you can clean his denchers and grind pills into his food.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2007-08-25 00:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-08-25 00:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
lol
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-08-25 00:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I apologize, HateMudkips. I too hate mudkips. Why can't we all just get along? You and I can share Shlongy. I will wipe and feed him and you can clean his denchers and grind pills into his food.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-08-25 00:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WHEN IT'S THROUGH, IT'S THROUGH
FATEFUL TWIST FOR BOTH OF YOU?!
COME ON BABY, COME ON OVER, LET ME BE THE ONE TO SHOW YOU...
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-08-25 00:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why be alone when we can be together, baby?
You can make my life worth while
I can make you start to smile
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-08-25 00:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues?
Just to be the next to be with you!
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-08-25 00:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hey, i wanna fuck shlongy as much as the next broad, so +2. but -1 for beating me to the part where i post about it.