TTC: The Legend Continues (383 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dean Walcott <ua_marine.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-08-25 03:08:52 EDT
Yesterday, as I was making my way to the mall (A.K.A. Eaton Center), I was, once again, forced to come face-to-face with my Canadian arch nemesis: The Danforth/Bloor Line.
Individually, people are generally nice and well-behaved. But, put a bunch of them into a small space, only half of which have showered in the last week, and things begin to go loopy. There is just something about being crammed into a 25' subway car with 56,432,548 people that really taxes my Zoloft supply.
Anywho. So there I was. Stuffed into a subway car, which stopped every 8 or so inches by slamming on the brakes, scattering us all around the car.
After the 7th time the subway started and stopped, I had to turn off my music, because it is really difficult to get into a Black Sabbath playlist when I am constantly being tossed around...
SOMEONE TOUCHED ME!!
I understand that, when a subway starts and stops a lot, people tend to grab on to others, in an attempt to stabilize themselves, but I have never met a person who was able to stand upright again after GRABBING MY ASS.
I stood there, with my mind racing. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe I was being hopeful (Hey, it's been a while since anyone's grabbed me anywhere, except for that burly fellow who 'escorted me' out of the bar that night, and that doesn't count).
After around 4 minutes of soul searching, I decided that, if I was going to go about my day in any meaningful capacity, I was going to have to get some idea as to what it was that happened. I braced myself, turned around, and....
...there was a woman behind me, and a guy to her left. They were looking at me and laughing their asses off. The woman was pointing at my backside. This situation is odd enough, but allow me to put the proverbial icing on the cake; THEY WERE WEARING TTC COATS.
Yes. TTC employees had violated me.
I am a simple type of person. I do not like to involve other people in my problems. I simply wanted them to stop laughing. I thought up a really evil thing to do, but I would need to wait until the next time the door opened.
Fast forward 2 minutes. The doors are about to open at Castle Frank station. I turned back to the two, who giggled a bit upon seeing my face again, and I said the following:
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO PUT HER ON THE ROTISSERIE, YOU FUCKING PERVERT!!"
Their jaws dropped as I calmly exited the car. I stood watching as the doors closed, and all the other passengers stared at them. I'm not sure, but I think I heard a baby crying.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-27 04:53:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Exactly, what's a TTC?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-26 17:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
uh, whats a TTC?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-08-25 18:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111223
I'm on a high.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-25 13:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-25 10:37:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-25 06:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-25 04:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was worth reading. (I rate on a sliding scale.)
I recommend not being so thin-skinned; it only invites abuse.
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-08-25 03:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that's tellin' him tubesteak!
-1 'cause you said anywho
-1 'cause the Leafs suck
-1 'cause you bitched that a chick grabbed yer ass
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-08-25 03:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Need another tissue? Maybe a tampon to bleed on?