Summer in the Park (467 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.88 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by QuinnTheEskimo (View user info) at 2007-08-25 07:21:50 EDT
Conan was over. My bottle was empty. The two usually coincided, which was good, because now was the time I passed out in order to rest up for another busy day of hung over burger slinging at Burger King. However tonight I felt imbibed with vigor and a drunken sense of adventure. I stepped out of my sliding glass door, closed it too hard and when it sprang back open an inch I just left it.
The night air was cool, but not cold enough to need a jacket as heavy as the one I was wearing. I unbuttoned it as I staggered from mail box to street lamp to the back bumper of a car. The block and a half to the park felt like an epic journey, and when I arrived, I felt like a conquering soldier.
Unsteadily I climbed to the highest place on the jungle gym that I could reach. I sat there, smiling, feeling good about myself. My forehead was chilly with sweat, and my arms were too hot in the jacket, but that didn't bother me. I was too busy soaking in the sweet beauty of night time suburbia. I don't know how long I stayed up there, but eventually I climbed down, nearly falling and breaking my arm as I did.
I was in the shadows in the twisting slide when I saw the car slowly roll into the park, its headlights off. Any stealth the car might have had with its deactivated headlights was negated by the loudly squeaking brakes. I smiled which made me drool and I cursed under my breath as I wiped sharp smelling spit from my lapel.
From the car emerged two figures, a man and a shortish, pretty woman. They quickly left the car behind and sneaked off into the park, holding hands and giggling. After a moment I left my hiding spot and crept through the park after them, drunk, curious, and excited that I might have a drunken adventure after all.
They jogged all the way to the darkest corner of the park. The ground here was a rich smelling mud, but I was too drunk to notice. They laid out on top of a park bench and quickly set to work. Soon, the giggling had ceased, then was replaced by soft, controlled moaning.
The smell of sex was powerful enough even at this distance to make my nostrils tingle more than the mud and it made me wince. I lit a Black and Mild to mask the odor as I continued watching the couple. I sat smoking for maybe a minute before I finally stood to leave.
I was muttering bitterly to myself about my own lack of woman, hardly a yard from where I had sat watching the couple that I could still hear behind me when the cops pulled up. Their lights were off but their brakes didn't squeak, which is why the couple never noticed them.
I sat in the darkness and covered the cherry of my lit cigar with my hands enjoying the warmth in my fingers. I laughed quietly as I watched the pair of police men and the couple and waited for the moment when...
"Excuse me, sir but you-" The cop started, pointing his flashlight at the man's naked, sweaty buttocks.
Before the officer could complete his sentence the man was running. The speaking cop peeled off after him. The thuds and slaps of the running men's shoes and feet reminded me of a bad drummer. Without stopped the naked man threw himself over a fence, landing safely on the other side.
A split second passed while the cop contemplated the situation, during which the naked man sat crouched, his erection slowly wilting like a deflating snake-shaped animal balloon. The cop sighed and the naked man took off again, but he was not chased. The cop walked back to his partner, who had covered the girl and was assuring her he was not going to arrest her.
"We're going to call your parents, you're not under arrest, I promise." He was telling her, trying to get her to calm down enough to tell him the name of her nude lover.
Finally she stopped weeping, "I can't believe that he just left me like that." And she started sobbing again.
One cop rolled his eyes and the other shook his head. It seemed to me like they had seen this naked-couple-in-park scene a hundred times, which made me briefly consider police work. It would definitely increase the number of live, female breasts I was seeing, which at this point, was zero.
I realized that the excitement of the moment was gone. The police had come and characteristically ruined a good time. I stubbed my cigar out on the bottom of my shoe, shoved the butt into my pocket, and began the arduous journey home.
Once there I removed my hot coat, turned the TV on, and pulled my pants off. The sheets were cold and the only thing on was infomercials, but I didn't mind. I thought of the walk, the unexpected beauty of a night time suburbia, and the lovely naked woman.
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-27 11:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-27 08:00:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NO. Not so! Stinky butts go in rubbish bins, not pockets.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-08-27 04:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
better than it being on the ground, where it would dirty up someone's park.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-27 04:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ew, ciggarette butt in the pocket. Gross.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-26 17:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're so wise, you're like a miniature buddha covered in hair.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-08-25 18:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111223
I'm on a high.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-08-25 18:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goddamnit
"Without stopped the naked man threw himself over a fence, landing safely on the other side."
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-08-25 12:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
perv
Submitted by Rejection (user info) at 2007-08-25 12:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-08-25 11:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. You said buttocks.
Submitted by garudave (user info) at 2007-08-25 11:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was cool.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-08-25 09:46:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get laid man. 3 billion optional mates available...
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-08-25 07:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Before I get flamed, I meant to click "preview" and accidentally clicked "hook me up"
Sorry in advance about awkward sentences and typos. Also this is pure fiction. I've never watched someone have sex, and you can be damn sure that if I did I would have stayed until the money shot.