Why I can never go back to McDonalds ever again (1594 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.78 on 68 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SunnyG (View user info) at 2007-08-25 21:49:58 EDT
Last night was a splendid evening. I got together with all of my high school mates and had a few drinks. By a few drinks, I mean we got shitfaced, and by shitfaced I mean some of us lost control of our bodily functions.
The night was filled with reminiscing about old days...
You know? The old days where you would sit in your friend's basement with a 6 pack of Smirnoff Ice and take shots like badasses? No? Just us?
Oh right, nobody else is slightly homosexual. I forgot.
</homo erotic undertones>
One of my friends, Chris, decided to stay sober. It wasn't really a decision, as he was on antibiotics. I made a conjecture that he "banged his ex-girlfriend silly and got a VD!". His current girlfriend was not impressed.
"Sunny that really isn't very funny. You're so immature sometimes"
"Is SunnyG gonna have to choke a bitch?"
"Really original"
"I am gonna have to choke you. I'm not violent, I try not to be"
"SHUT UP!"
Quoting Wayne Brady can be irritating for innocent white girls, especially when you say "Am I gonna have to choke-a-bitch?" 30 times in one night.
Ahem, anyways, you're probably wondering why I am no longer welcome at the fine bistro known as McDonalds.
Inevitably, as chaps drink excessively, they feel the need to clog their arteries with sodium and Chinese newspapers. Naturally, we wanted McDonalds.
I have never had a good experience drunk at a McDonalds eating establishment. Let's do a quick run down of what has happened at a McDonalds while SunnyG was under the influence:
-Telling drive-thru lady "Go fuck yourself"
-Urinating in a sink
-Talking about BJs in front of horrified parents and their children
-Asking the young clerk for "Mac sauce with a side of Buttsecks!"
Chris drove since he was sober. God bless that venereal disease he might or might not have.
I sat in the passenger seat. We ordered our meals, and soon began eating in the parking lot while wagering who would be the first to date a girl in her first year.
Chris turned to me.
"Sunny, I can't believe you didn't do anything stupid here"
I looked at him amazed and shocked I didn't try and fight emoboy at the drive-thru window.
"God...who knows. This might be a new side to Sunny"
My friends all nodded to themselves in realization. Perhaps one matures as he grows older? Perhaps there comes a time in a man's life where his first priority isn't -
WHAT THE FUCK?
My moment of self-realization and deep understanding was rudely interrupted. Something foul, hard, and salty was in my double bacon cheeseburger.
It was bacon.
"THIS BACON TASTES LIKE CRAP. GAHHHHHH ITS SO HARD AND SALTY!"
"That's what she said! Get it? She said!"
I gave a look to my friend in the backseat that made him shut up.
He knew that look.
So did everyone else in the car.
The eye of the extremist.
All around us, the environment changed. Dogs barking in the distance fell silent. People around us ran indoors. Lightning struck. Rainfall began. The starry night darkened with clouds as thick as velvet.
The malice in my heart for McDonalds became a force to be reckoned with.
"I'll be right back"
I stepped out of the car, burger in hand. I walked towards the 'soon to be in smoldering ashes restaurant'.
A young couple was at the window receiving their gelatinous sundaes of doom. The emoboy working the till saw me approach. Fear evident in his eyes.
The following is the altercation verbatim:
Me: Good evening good sir, but I believe my burger had overcooked and over-salted bacon in it that is quite unpleasant to my palate. May I have a word with the manager to rectify this problem?
What I actually said: HEY, JACKASS. This fucking burger blows! I bit into it and the fucking bacon fucking sucked!
Emoboy: *runs to get the manager*
Manager: Is there a problem?
Young Couple: Hey, get out of our way!
I gave them the one fingered salute, and continued on my conversation with the friendly staff at McDonalds.
Me: Sir, this burger seems to have a quality problem with it. Can you please grant me another?
What I acutally said: ZITBOY. YOUR RESTAURANT BLOWS! EAT PORK MOTHERFUCKER GAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
With the mighty war cry of a young East Indian Warrior, with all my might, I threw the greasy pork and cow concoction at zitboy manager's face.
I probably gave him more acne, but the food sucked. That's my bloody point.
I watched with satisfaction as he incredulously wiped ketchup from his face, which by the way resembled a relief map of the Andes.
Immediately, the words "Assault" and "Drunk Tank" popped into my mind. The guy in the car with his girlfriend who was getting out to stomp my stupid ass was another motivator to get the fuck outta here and fast! Andale!
With that, my friends, I sped back to the car eluding the imaginary pursuant. If someone had actually been chasing me, I probably would have gotten away; for I am dark skinned you see.
"STEP ON IT CHRIS, I PISSED SOME PEOPLE OFF!"
"No kidding, camel jockey"
With that we sped away, leaving angry employees and customers in our wake.
Drunks are ruining our society.
User Reviews
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-19 15:00:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-10-19 09:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it'd be bad news if we ever went drinking.
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i spent the night spitting on the tv and punching holes in the neighbors' walls last night. we were playing edward fortyhands with king cobra. THAT was bad news.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2007-10-17 00:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, this is an old post and the sight of a pissing contest. carry on, then.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2007-10-17 00:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didnt really like the post, but it evoked the very specific smell of a mcdonalds cheeseburger. damn, i havent had one of those in almost a decade.
i know someone who threw up on the clown ordering microphone at jack-in-the-box while dui. he later insisted that mcdonalds serve him a hotdog. yay for adventures.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-10-16 23:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like them. I'm going to continue.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-10-16 22:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
really kid....just fuck off and die and stop with your oh so clever retorts.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-10-16 22:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh no! You're on to me! Me and that genuine picture of me how I always dress!
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-10-16 09:30:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-14 11:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98787
see?
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wow....just wow. Thanks apollo, I now see the kid who has been chirping me is a 16 year old band geek.
I bet you're real happy about that Jonny Wilkinson, eh?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-14 11:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Seen better
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-14 11:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98787
see?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-14 11:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
d_prime is just pissed because he's a whiny little emo boy who works at McD's.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-10-14 11:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-10-14 01:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Putting that hard-earned physics degree or whatever to good use, you master of intellect?
------
Actually I'm in 3rd year.
Did you go to prom yet?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-14 02:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just saying, this got -2d pretty quickly after your latest took a hit.
But of course, you get the benefit of the doubt.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-10-14 01:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I would -2 this from anyone, honest steak!
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-14 01:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-10-14 01:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Putting that hard-earned physics degree or whatever to good use, you master of intellect?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That seems a little retaliatory.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-10-14 01:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Putting that hard-earned physics degree or whatever to good use, you master of intellect?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-25 13:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why I never rated this before. Funny stuff, reminds me of my college days.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-09-25 13:21:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-09-24 23:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Alot of people here SunnyG including yourself have an extremely distorted view of Real Estate, while I do make light of my profession it is not something anyone could do. Let me re-phrase, your possibly correct, ANYONE could get there salespersons certificate (license to sell) not ANYONE could get there real estate license (license to operate) - quite substantially harder. Whilst one could hold a salespersons certificate by finishing a relatively easy course based on real estate laws/ethics etc etc. what I ask you are their chances of success? Slim to none my mis-guided friend. Here's a quick fact for you, more then 65% of people who join the real estate industry quit within the first year, that figure rises on the second. They quit because they no longer have the funds to support themselves - it takes a special someone to sell, selling is not easy - the qualifications are - not the act of selling itself. We are not corrupt either, not in this day and age - my post was merely an exaggeration.
----------------------
Selling is not easy? Wow. Are you still on about this? Shut up already.
So, not ANYONE could "get there(sic) real estate license"? Clearly someone who writes like a 12 year old Lobotomy patient is the caliber person to get a License to Operate.
Shut up already, I don't really care. Most Real Estate agents I know went into it because they needed money and had no other skills. As a matter of fact, 93% of people who are idiots go into Real Estate. Where did I get this statistic? The same place you got yours; out of your ass.
Die.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-09-24 23:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Alot of people here SunnyG including yourself have an extremely distorted view of Real Estate, while I do make light of my profession it is not something anyone could do. Let me re-phrase, your possibly correct, ANYONE could get there salespersons certificate (license to sell) not ANYONE could get there real estate license (license to operate) - quite substantially harder. Whilst one could hold a salespersons certificate by finishing a relatively easy course based on real estate laws/ethics etc etc. what I ask you are their chances of success? Slim to none my mis-guided friend. Here's a quick fact for you, more then 65% of people who join the real estate industry quit within the first year, that figure rises on the second. They quit because they no longer have the funds to support themselves - it takes a special someone to sell, selling is not easy - the qualifications are - not the act of selling itself. We are not corrupt either, not in this day and age - my post was merely an exaggeration.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-09-06 23:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just so everyone knows, ihop gives you cancer.
Seriously, they have a sign that talks about how cancerous their ingredients are, sometimes they try to hide it behind a fake plant or something, but it's mandatory that they have it.
Enjoy your cancer, ya drunk bastards.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-09-05 19:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
retaliatory below
Submitted by rycke (user info) at 2007-09-04 20:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
too long.. *yawn*
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2007-08-29 19:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"THIS BACON TASTES LIKE CRAP. GAHHHHHH ITS SO HARD AND SALTY!"
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-29 19:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sad life? I guess I should pursue a career that takes a pulse to get credentials in instead of Engineering, tool.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-29 19:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-08-29 19:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thats the stupidest thing I've ever read...You lead a sad life
---
Maybe I should pick up a life in real estate then? Much more rewarding
Or become an alter. either one works.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-08-29 19:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thats the stupidest thing I've ever read...You lead a sad life
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-28 00:11:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-27 03:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Weed is the best cure for alcoholism.
===
Weed is also the best cure for a hangover.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-28 00:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've never been to a Denny's. I don't think we have them in this state - we have Waffle House instead.
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-27 23:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're missing out. Denny's breakfast is the shit. Their menus really are just a big ass picture books. You just point at a picture and hand the menu back when you're drunk. The waitress nods and thats a wrap.
I'd have to say my top 3 places to eat while drunk are
(In no particular order)
Denny's
I.H.O.P.
Dodge's Chicken
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-27 23:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-27 22:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-27 15:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-27 14:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you get drunk, and 'McDonalds' is the best place you can go?
jeesus, where do you live, East Buttfuck, Missouri?
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last I check mickey D's is a staple of drunk eating.
========================================================
You are completely incorrect. DENNY'S is a staple of drunk eating. You know why? You can be completely tanked off your ass and still manage to order from Denny's. You see they planned ahead. Denny's knew you would be to drunk to speak. SO they eliminated your need to speak.
Just point to the fucking picture of what ever the hell you want to eat. Using Thumbs Up signs etc as needed.
Also Honorable mention: IHOP
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I'm in Canada. Sadly, no Dennys here. But I see where you're coming from.
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-27 22:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-27 15:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-27 14:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you get drunk, and 'McDonalds' is the best place you can go?
jeesus, where do you live, East Buttfuck, Missouri?
--------
last I check mickey D's is a staple of drunk eating.
========================================================
You are completely incorrect. DENNY'S is a staple of drunk eating. You know why? You can be completely tanked off your ass and still manage to order from Denny's. You see they planned ahead. Denny's knew you would be to drunk to speak. SO they eliminated your need to speak.
Just point to the fucking picture of what ever the hell you want to eat. Using Thumbs Up signs etc as needed.
Also Honorable mention: IHOP
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-27 21:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-27 15:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-27 14:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you get drunk, and 'McDonalds' is the best place you can go?
jeesus, where do you live, East Buttfuck, Missouri?
--------
last I check mickey D's is a staple of drunk eating.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-27 14:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you get drunk, and 'McDonalds' is the best place you can go?
jeesus, where do you live, East Buttfuck, Missouri?
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-08-27 13:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-25 23:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God, I miss the days when being drunk and sloppy was still cute. At my age, things like falling down, barfing off the back deck, and making out with your best friend AND her brother on the same night are no longer considered madcap fun... just a sad cry for help. *weep*
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I miss those days!
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-27 10:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Prime36L (user info) at 2007-08-27 10:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-27 10:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-08-27 10:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Smirnoff Ice in the "old days"?
----
Yeah, you know, as youngins when everyone used to drink total shite.
Strictly Guinness, Blue, and euro imports now.
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So basically you've gone from drinking shit to drinking slightly more expensive shit?
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You call Guinness, Blue, and Stella shit? Where are you from, America?
Submitted by Prime36L (user info) at 2007-08-27 10:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-27 10:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-08-27 10:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Smirnoff Ice in the "old days"?
----
Yeah, you know, as youngins when everyone used to drink total shite.
Strictly Guinness, Blue, and euro imports now.
-----
So basically you've gone from drinking shit to drinking slightly more expensive shit?
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-27 10:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-08-27 10:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Smirnoff Ice in the "old days"?
----
Yeah, you know, as youngins when everyone used to drink total shite.
Strictly Guinness, Blue, and euro imports now.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-08-27 10:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Smirnoff Ice in the "old days"?
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-27 06:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-27 03:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Basically this sucked llama cock.
1.) NEVER come back to the counter to bitch about your food. I worked fast food as a young teenager. I won't go into details about some of really bad things I've done or seen done to people's food. I'll just tell you that if you don't want to find out what a burger that was used as a dustrag for underneath the fry cooker tastes like, I don't recommend coming back to bitch about your food. If you must come back to bitch about food. Get your money back and go across the street to Wendy's or something.
2.) All you did was swear a few times then run out the door like a pussy. My 17 year old brother did better than you his first time drinking and going into public. He got banned for life from a Perkins for attempting to lift and throw through the large front window, a huge ass gumball machine. Fortunately for the window he stumbled over the carpet and simply fell and broke the machine.
When you say dark skinned, do you mean that you're a nigger? Just curious.
----
1. Who gives a fuck?
2. Really, it's under humour. I don't give a shit what your pre-pubescent brother did. If what he did was so hilarious, post it.
Right. Nigger. You're so racist and controversial. No, I'm not.
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-27 03:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Basically this sucked llama cock.
1.) NEVER come back to the counter to bitch about your food. I worked fast food as a young teenager. I won't go into details about some of really bad things I've done or seen done to people's food. I'll just tell you that if you don't want to find out what a burger that was used as a dustrag for underneath the fry cooker tastes like, I don't recommend coming back to bitch about your food. If you must come back to bitch about food. Get your money back and go across the street to Wendy's or something.
2.) All you did was swear a few times then run out the door like a pussy. My 17 year old brother did better than you his first time drinking and going into public. He got banned for life from a Perkins for attempting to lift and throw through the large front window, a huge ass gumball machine. Fortunately for the window he stumbled over the carpet and simply fell and broke the machine.
When you say dark skinned, do you mean that you're a nigger? Just curious.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-27 03:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Weed is the best cure for alcoholism.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Drunks are ruining our society."
Fuck that! We're taking over society one puked on shoe and loud curse at a time!
---
God willing, Jack, god willing.
************************
Fuck God. I just drunk enough to fight that asshole AND fuck his girlfriend.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Drunks are ruining our society."
Fuck that! We're taking over society one puked on shoe and loud curse at a time!
---
God willing, Jack, god willing.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Drunks are ruining our society."
Fuck that! We're taking over society one puked on shoe and loud curse at a time!
Submitted by fidelcity (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-08-26 19:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-26 12:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Indo:
I had to google Zima. Now that I have, I concur.
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That made me feel old.
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2007-08-26 17:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
um....
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-26 16:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
j'aime le MacDo!
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-08-26 16:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Merlina
Ranking: 1
I'd rather starve than eat McDonalds attempt at 'food'
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-26 12:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Indo:
I had to google Zima. Now that I have, I concur.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-08-26 11:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The old days where you would sit in your friend's basement with a 6 pack of Smirnoff Ice"
Fag. We all know real men drink zima in the basement when they are in highschool.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-26 11:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-26 11:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have gone back in, started bowing and praying on the floor in Arabic, making sure to throw in the word Jihad, and screaming to Allah to punish the infidels for giving you pork.
This is always fun post 9-11.
I say that because I am bigoted against them A-Rabs.
------------
it'd be funnier if i were actually muslim.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-08-26 11:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-08-26 11:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have gone back in, started bowing and praying on the floor in Arabic, making sure to throw in the word Jihad, and screaming to Allah to punish the infidels for giving you pork.
This is always fun post 9-11.
I say that because I am bigoted against them A-Rabs.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-08-26 10:59:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd rather starve than eat McDonalds attempt at 'food'
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-26 10:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-08-26 08:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You bore the absolute fuck out of me
-----------
Really? should i make half a dozen new accounts and post total shit instead?
or maybe pictures of my cock will suffice?
:D
unban s.i. co. semen - there i said it.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-26 10:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-26 09:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You used SHLONGY'S "ZITBOY" line???
Now, I used to be as drunk as the next guy, but I have to admit, if you had put on your "show" and I was in line, I would have had to start a bench clearing brawl.
In real life, I tend to stick up for the minimum wage earning zitboy's and zitgirls when they're getting abused by dipshits like you.
It makes me feel good.
----------
i DID use your line!
what can i say...its a sweet line
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-26 09:18:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sure this review has nothing to do with whatever the post was about - but cheeseburgers with mayo are just the best thing EVER.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-26 09:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You used SHLONGY'S "ZITBOY" line???
Now, I used to be as drunk as the next guy, but I have to admit, if you had put on your "show" and I was in line, I would have had to start a bench clearing brawl.
In real life, I tend to stick up for the minimum wage earning zitboy's and zitgirls when they're getting abused by dipshits like you.
It makes me feel good.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-08-26 09:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i'm drunk, so i'm really getting a kick out of these replies.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-08-26 08:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You bore the absolute fuck out of me
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-08-26 05:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like going to the drive thru and asking for steak, lobster, fried cabbage and a baked potato.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-08-26 02:38:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had some McD's last night after my escapades and it was glorious. I've never had food that tasted so good. The double cheeseburger melted in my mouth and with every bite of mcchicken i could hear songbirds singing and dancing about my head. And the fries...THE FRIES!
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-08-26 01:55:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-08-26 01:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The words "drunk tank" have made me flee the scene countless times.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-25 23:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God, I miss the days when being drunk and sloppy was still cute. At my age, things like falling down, barfing off the back deck, and making out with your best friend AND her brother on the same night are no longer considered madcap fun... just a sad cry for help. *weep*
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-08-25 22:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2007-08-25 22:05:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Drunks are ruining our society."
No we're not, we're enriching the lives of the sober people.
The guy with his girlfriend, the one who wanted to kick your ass for delaying the enjoyment of his ketchup and onion laced fallacy (and an insult to everything that has been called 'hamburger') was secretly thanking you for reminding him that there are those few that are brave enough to live the life of an alcoholic; a life he has forsaken for a woman who "doesn't appreciate his attitude" when he drinks.
On the outside he was angry, on the inside he was saluting you, as do I, my brave alcoholic friend.
Go forth and let them know, that you are not afraid to piss in a sink, or throw a burger in someones face; remind them of what they themselves have given up.
**this is what goes through my head when I'm drunk in front of sober people**
--
best review i've ever read
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2007-08-25 22:05:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Drunks are ruining our society."
No we're not, we're enriching the lives of the sober people.
The guy with his girlfriend, the one who wanted to kick your ass for delaying the enjoyment of his ketchup and onion laced fallacy (and an insult to everything that has been called 'hamburger') was secretly thanking you for reminding him that there are those few that are brave enough to live the life of an alcoholic; a life he has forsaken for a woman who "doesn't appreciate his attitude" when he drinks.
On the outside he was angry, on the inside he was saluting you, as do I, my brave alcoholic friend.
Go forth and let them know, that you are not afraid to piss in a sink, or throw a burger in someones face; remind them of what they themselves have given up.
**this is what goes through my head when I'm drunk in front of sober people**