The joys of life (588 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.25 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nyxmar (View user info) at 2007-08-26 21:02:15 EDT
Have you ever had a dream in which you are falling? You are in this perfect free fall and the world is rushing by and you can't tell if you more scared or excited. The wind is whipping by you so fast that all you hear is that turbine fan sound and the beating of your own heart. You scream and you can't even hear your own voice over the noise. It's in this moment you are filled with the most exciting and exhilarating feeling you have ever felt.
No? Me neither, but it would be cool to have a dream like that.
Anyways, back to reality. It's been a long 15 months with nothing to show. There have been a lot of ups and downs. I've gotten used to the fact that my back will probably cause me pain for the rest of my life. Surgery at best is 50/50 chance to relieve the pain. I'm of the opinion that doctors, for the most part don't really know shit, and we are just getting their best guess.
One of the brighter spots for awhile was the fact that I was in love. This completely turned my world upside down and destroyed it. I've never been a person that seeks the companionship of other people. I prefer to read than go out to the bar or do other social activities. Imagine my surprise when I fell in love. It's a strange feeling that I've felt before, but it always seems to just kick you square in the nuts. For the first time in 10 yrs I was actually seeing somebody and the world looked great, even introduced her to my family, and they approved.
2 days before I find out whether or not I have cancer I've been unofficially dumped. Part of me just wants to start laughing hysterically at the situation, the events, and my life in general. I say unofficially because right now I don't technically know where we stand as of thursday she has gone incommunicado on my ass. No return phone calls, texts, messenger, etc.... Then again it's not hard to take the hint. If somebody doesn't want to talk to you then well what are you going to do?
It's been my experience in life that through my highs and lows, the lows are getting lower and the highs are getting smaller. Maybe it's just because it takes so much to get back to normal after the lows. Anyways, Monday we get the big news that I might be dying, and even then that might be a relief, stay tuned, or not.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-27 21:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-08-27 19:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bust of luck...and what the drunk girl below said.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-27 18:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you should get drunk.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-08-27 15:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We're all dying.
Set goals for yourself now, don't wait for docs.
G'luck.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-27 13:32:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We all die.
Seems like a strange thing to be glib about - but we each deal with that reality in our own special way.
Sure hope you don't have cancer though, that would suck.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-08-27 12:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow...That sucks.
Like this post.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-27 12:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*crosses fingers*
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-27 03:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lifes a bitch, nobody said otherwise. I guess its just one less shit eating bastard in the world if you do have cancer. Save me a front row seat in hell?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-08-27 03:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's been my experience in life that through my highs and lows, the lows are getting lower and the highs are getting smaller.
==========
"The older I get, the more life starts to make sense...and the less I care."
I honestly couldn't give a shit if you have cancer or not, and that makes me feel slightly guilty.
Asshole.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-26 23:00:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:(
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanx for the support comments guys. Like I said in the post, I wont know for sure if thats what it is til tomarrow. I must confess that part of me would like a definitive diagnosis though. You can fight cancer, you cant fight the unkown. Not knowing is what drags you down. Anyways, I'm more pissed that the girl's got two of my favorite shirts and DVDs. What a bitch.
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hope
Submitted by Prime36L (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cancer-on, apply directly to the cancer.
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Try to avoid death.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rough week, man. I wish you the best.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-08-26 22:04:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, man. Stay strong.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-08-26 21:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I had cancer once, and I sure as hell didn't whine to people about it.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-08-26 21:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have the occasional dream about the night sky being filled with bright jellyfish. It's glorious.
This post was not glorious.
Submitted by Prime36L (user info) at 2007-08-26 21:11:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shitty situation dude, good luck. +2
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-08-26 21:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, it may bring you down, but I'd suggest listening to "Cancer" by My Chemical Romance. That song came to mind as I read this.
Anyway, here's a +2, live.