The Benefits of Cigarette Smoking (272 hits)
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Submitted by Sam Manlosa <sam_manlosa.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-08-28 01:50:38 EDT
Worldwide and in the last 20 years, there has been a growing concern against man's most favored pastime, bigger than baseball and football combined - cigarette smoking. Wherever you find yourself in, you'll come across men and women stuffing burning sticks unto their mouths and inhaling that snuff that transforms them into tamed dragons minus the wings and the temper. From the busy pubs of London to the highlands of the Andes, from a KTV in Japan to a tribesman in the middle of the Serengeti, smoking has never been more global.
However, there is equally mounting evidence detailing the adverse health effects of cigarette smoke that the industry has come under heavy attack in the last 15 years. A hundred years worth of data has shown that with the advent of smoking came increased fame for lung cancer, emphysema and other Latin-sounding bugs so much so that they now have become household names rivaling "pimples" in any popularity contest. This has led to widespread bans for smoking in public places, excessively high excise taxes, and stringent restrictions on cigarette and tobacco advertisements. If you're a smoker, it's as if Hitler tagged you a Jew.
I have "cigarette smoking" friends. I sympathize with their gloom given this grim and unwelcoming news, so in the name of loyalty and David-Nathan like bonds, I compiled my own list on the benefits of smoking, decided to give them their due, and bring hope to those who stand at the filtered end of those burning sticks. Smokers, fear not, you have not lost yet. I bring you 8 reasons to continue puffing.
1) SMOKING IS HEALTHY! Yes, it is. Darwinian natural selection and survival of the fittest theories assert that in the presence of factors that limit the ability of a species to forage for natural resources or if it comes under attack by toxins or pathogens in the environment, only the healthiest organisms survive. The surviving generation in turn gives birth to a more resilient class of organisms better suited for life. The toxicity of substances in cigarette smoke provides for a medium were only the fittest cells in the body can continue to exist. Weak cells which only consume resources but are inefficient in the conduct of bodily processes are ingeniously weeded out leaving only the fittest cells to continue the tasks essential for survival. This self-inflicted "genocide on cells" produces a healthier (healthy cells, a healthy individual), more efficient, more resilient system, making cigarette smoke an excellent tool in furthering one's health.
2) OBESITY PREVENTION! Probably the most sought-after status second only to a fat wallet is that 36-24-36 line running down your bust to your hips (or that Barry Bonds-like guns and washboard abs you've been dreaming for eons now). Unfortunately, chefs and candy makers, and restaurants, even your local "sari-sari" store, have all conspired to grant you 10 pounds of excess baggage despite countless hours on the treadmill. To be truly fit, you need to cheat your way to guns and buns the only affordable way available, nicotine. Studies have shown a regular dose of nicotine disturbs metabolism and suppresses appetite. This is because like many stimulants, nicotine increases the level of sugar in the blood creating the impression that you are full and therefore stifling the hunger that makes you crave for oreo cheesecakes or go-nuts donuts. And coincidentally, if you're shooting for the top and want a "fat wallet" to go with a jaw-dropping stat-line, you already have your package here. Stifled hunger = slim fit + low expense. Savings and shavings, all in one stone throw.
3) ETERNAL YOUTH, and everything else in between. This is probably the most controversial aspect of cigarette smoking and I'm going to take the extra caution in explaining this. It's best we start off with the cliche "Smokers never grow old, they just die young." What that means in practical and social vistas, and please hear this out, is that the government's worries re social security, population control, and healthcare are considerably lessened. Imagine, without smoking-induced deaths, we'd have 440,000 more people (in the US alone) yearly becoming old and putting tremendous strains on social security. The population will continue to rise without checks, and healthcare systems will suffer tremendous profit losses due to lung cancer, emphysema, bronchitis, and cardiovascular diseases becoming rare cases instead of common healthcare issues. That's about $15B profit in medicine and healthcare going down the drain. Instead, smokers have given us a world were social security is solely focused on the old and fragile, the world enjoying a regular 1 million population loss (more than the total number of combined deaths due to AIDS, traffic accidents, suicide, murder, fires, or accidental poisoning) freeing up resources for the needy, a booming healthcare and medicine industry; and to top it all off, an eternally youthful manpower who work while they're at their prime and then just die off at the perfect time, no strings attached. Imagine now, what the world will be like without smokers.
4) TAX REVENUES. In lieu of the growing concerns regarding fiscal policies, tax revenues and budget deficits, tobacco excise taxes have become a paramount focus for the government to generate and fund the intensified focus on infrastructure development. Without smokers, the government will lose P56B in yearly revenue bloating the budget deficit, killing the "pork" and grounding infrastructure development to a halt. The latest saga in the BIR's bid to meet tax collection requirements hit a snag due to "reduced consumption of cigarettes" requiring a 3.2% reduction in collection targets precisely because of that. That should put things in perspective: that smokers are essential to nation building. More smokers mean greater tax revenues, more puffs lead to a boom in the governments tax collection efforts. You might just have saved the BIR Commissioner's ass if you puffed one today.
5) THE WORLD'S NEXT SUPERHERO. Tobacco smoke contains various carcinogens other than polynuclear aromatic hydrocarbons (the leading cause for lung and cardio bugs), such as traces of radioactive elements. Smoking is therefore an important route of exposure to ionizing radiation (think Fantastic 4). For example, smoke from tobacco grown with phosphate fertilizers contains Polonium-210, an emitter of alpha particles, which cannot penetrate skin and are harmless outside the body, but mutation-inducing when present inside the organs. Mutations can vary from hair color changes to potentially the next human-fish capable of breathing underwater after alveoli mutations allow for oxygen extraction from water. Nobody argues that we need a superhero, given all the lawlessness and bridge collapses, and Michael Vick! Perhaps a million more puffs and the next "The Thing" should be just around the corner. I hate to say it but the plain truth is that the next superhero will come from the smoking population. That or Barry Bonds!
6) DOPE USE, minus the ILLEGALITY. If you're looking for a METH alternative, look no further than your local store. It's called NICOTINE. Nicotine provides both a stimulant and a depressant effect, and it is likely that the effect it has at any time is determined by the mood of the user, the environment and the circumstances of use. Studies have suggested that low doses have a depressant effect, while higher doses stimulate the user. Nicotine use has a pleasurable effect that triggers positive reinforcement. One study found that smokers exhibit better reaction-times and memory performance compared to non-smokers. Combined with reason#3, it's like having an eternally youthful extra-energetic army that shrugs off any semblance of tiredness after two lung-full of puffs. And the best part is that it's legal. Companies can now start including 5 packs a month in the standard compensation package.
7) A FULL-PROOF "SELF-FOOLING" METHOD, that easily tops hypnotism. A component of both somatic and psychological dependence is the lowering of reward thresholds associated with nicotine use. Studies from The Scripps Research Institute have shown that acute and chronic nicotine use lowers reward thresholds by sensitizing the part of the brain that controls satisfaction and recognition impulses. Given the otherwordly work loads and cellar-level emphasis on recognitions in today's workplace, the best set of workers to have are those that expect lesser but work more. I suggest then you start forwarding this post to your friends, hope against odds that some top level executive stumbles into it one day, decides to include smoking as a job requirement, and presto - 5 free packs monthly + compensation to match (good enough to but that 6th, 7th, 8th.. you get where I'm going.. pack).. Now, quit reading and start typing that resume revision.
Name: Morgan "Bloodshot Eyes " Freeman
Job History: (1) 1924 to present - Holywood actor
(2) 1917 to present - chain-smoker
Other Credentials: available upon request
8) PROTECTION AGAINST DEGENERATIVE DISEASES. Ever heard of Parkinson's or Alzheimer's? Smoker haven't. Based on empirical data collected for the last 35 years, a protective effect of current smoking has been found in Parkinson's and Alzheimer's disease. A recent review concluded that the apparent decrease in risk to smokers may be simply due to the fact that smokers tend to die (who cares, death sounds much better than Alzheimer's or Parkinson's) before reaching the age at which these disorders normally occur. Hahaha! K-I-D-D-I-N-G aside though and scientifically speaking, a plausible explanation for these cases may be the effect of nicotine which is a cholinergic stimulant, decreasing the levels of acetylcholine (it's the same substance as the coolant in your car) in the smoker's brain; Parkinson's disease (muscle twitching) occurs when the effect of dopamine is greater than that of acetylcholine. This scientific gibberish, in layman's terms, means that lowering substance A prevents a disease and the most economical way to do it is smoke. Smoke, and you live!! Stop, you might die, hahaha!! No really, death versus Parkinson's, that's not match of a debate, is it?
So you see, there isn't much to complain with smokers around. Aside from being healthier, better, fitter workers - minus the bloodshot eyes and nasty breath - more alert and responsive, more satisfied and less likely to shoot their bosses during lunch meetings, they have their share of funding this nation's growth, do not compete for the all too limited social security benefits, give the healthcare industry a reason to celebrate, and present the best hope of becoming the world's next lovechild, ala Superman. The wonders of nicotine have given us a breed of eternally young, and Parkinsons-free buddies, the ones we run to, laugh and cry with, those who we copy problem sets from, those who spend the most time listening to our monologues during must-have-coffee hours, people that we love and care for, people that touch our hearts and make our days. They're everywhere. Give them their due credit, but most of all, don't stop them from smoking. Let them be citizens of the world, just let them be free.
For the geeks out there, here's an excellent summary from Wiki on carcinogenicity. Read on, be informed!
"The primary carcinogens are the pyrolysis products of tobacco leaves. Any partially burnt material, tobacco or not, contains polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, particularly benzopyrene. The mechanism of their carcinogenity is well-known: oxidation produces an epoxide, which binds to DNA covalently and distorts it. If the cell cannot repair its DNA damage prior to undergoing mitotic division, the daughter cells carry a greater risk of becoming carcinogenic. DNA damage is one of the causes of cancer, because if the poison damages the programmed cell death system severely enough (usually requiring more than one mutation), damaged cells cannot kill themselves and begin to divide uncontrollably. This results in the formation of tumors that have the potential of becoming cancerous. The DNA oxidative damage is non-specific, so oncogenes and tumor suppressor genes (both genes associated with tumorgenicity) aren't always targeted. This results in an essentially random occurrence of cancer, where the probability increases with increasing exposure. In this respect, the mechanism of carcinogenicity closely resembles that of mustard gas, aflatoxin and other DNA alkylating agents."
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